have you founf after 1 yr living in US to have found a real friend?

[miles 0]

Hi daphne! You are not alone I think. I am here in NJ,US for almost a year.but still...no friends...I just talked with my kids and family out there in Phils. thru internet and Sometimes I make a call to my relatives here. I am bored everyday because I still don't work,but hopefully ,sooner I get a job and I can meet friends. Don't worry...sooner you will get a friend I know you are nice and it is not hard for you becuse you are friendly.Try to make yourself busy by surfing internet and enjoy your life in by going outside and feel free...sometimes I walk in the park and it feels me nice and great. Ok ..that's all for now...I hope you can find someone...goodluck !!!

Miles

[Cassie 8]

It took me a long time to get some friends. I find it hard to trust new people and to open up, so it took me a while to truly be friends with some of my hubby's friends from church. It's getting better.

[*JG* 2]

I'm not doing so good on the friends front, either, but I think one year isn't that long of a time, don't get frustrated quite yet

It takes longer to find friends the older you get. I was told that in the Midwest, where I am, it's very hard to find friends (not only for aliens, but also for other Americans who move to the area), but once you find them, they are very committed and loyal.

Keep on trying, I'm sure not everybody in Hawaii is only interested in eating and kids...

I think that thing about the midwest is BS. Whoever told you that is wrong.

[~krakatoa~ 27]

Hi daphne2109,

You're definitely not alone. I had difficulties too making friends here. I knew of a few people but they classify as mere acquaintances. It took me 7 months to really find someone who can "possibly" fit the shoe as a BFF. It takes time and more time building rapport with people you like to know more. The best avenue to finding good friends for me is through work, religious and professional organizations, community groups. One co-worker recently talked me into driving our cars to the new shopping center to shop for our Christmas gifts. My bosses are starting to become my friends too, to the point of them wanting to join the family for Thanksgiving (I know they just want to boss me around to cook for them, haha), which is way too friendly, .

In time, you'll have friends. You just have to be in the right place at the right time. Don't worry about it. VJ offered some comfort to me especially when I wasn't working yet. If you're not too far out I'll drop by and cheer you up.

Edited November 21, 2007 by mysticbluerose

[onwa 6]

I lived in Hawaii for about 8 years. It can take awhile to get used to the different culture there, which does revolve around food and family.

I have the best friends in Hawaii and I'm willing to share. Most of them are originally from the mainland. They are great at both easy and intellectual conversations and like to do both indoor and outdoor things, and are just genuinely the nicest people I have ever met. PM me if you want more details to go and hang out with them. I can be a "friend broker'!

[Sister Fracas 5]

I wonder if this is a gender thing. Seriously, I wonder if men make friends easier. My husband found a group of guys to hang out with playing cards. He found them very easily and very quickly and he's known them for over two years now. The friendships have gone beyond just weekly cards to all sorts of events (parties, dinners, gigs, movies, etc)....and I've become friends with some of their wives. He's also easily made friends with people from work. Now I don't know if it's my husband's personality, as he's always had lots of friends, he has way more here than I do....hehehe....or really, is it just easier for men to make friends? I'm being serious here, but maybe there is less competition and all of the other stuff that goes on in female relationships.

In any event, I'd suggest finding activities that you like to do. At least that way you know you share something right off the bat.

[ya falaha! 0]

I was thinking the same. My husband was here for three months before he found a couple of really good friends. These friends have helped him find work, drove him places before he could drive, invited he and I for dinners, etc. If roles were reversed it would have taken me a lot longer to find friends. I'm not as outgoing and friendly as my husband. He's way more a people person than I am.

To the OP...do you attend church or other religious service? My husband has met a lot of ppl this way.

I wonder if this is a gender thing. Seriously, I wonder if men make friends easier. My husband found a group of guys to hang out with playing cards. He found them very easily and very quickly and he's known them for over two years now. The friendships have gone beyond just weekly cards to all sorts of events (parties, dinners, gigs, movies, etc)....and I've become friends with some of their wives. He's also easily made friends with people from work. Now I don't know if it's my husband's personality, as he's always had lots of friends, he has way more here than I do....hehehe....or really, is it just easier for men to make friends? I'm being serious here, but maybe there is less competition and all of the other stuff that goes on in female relationships.

In any event, I'd suggest finding activities that you like to do. At least that way you know you share something right off the bat.

[Sister Fracas 5]

I was thinking the same. My husband was here for three months before he found a couple of really good friends. These friends have helped him find work, drove him places before he could drive, invited he and I for dinners, etc. If roles were reversed it would have taken me a lot longer to find friends. I'm not as outgoing and friendly as my husband. He's way more a people person than I am.

To the OP...do you attend church or other religious service? My husband has met a lot of ppl this way.

I think it's less to do with being outgoing or not, but more to do with the way men have friendships. Someone mentioned finding a BFF....men don't need BFF's. They just need to share some laughs with the blokes. I'm speaking in generalities, but I don't think most men need to find that ONE person who will be there no matter what. If they have a problem, a good soundingboard is nice, but really isn't that a function a wife serves....whereas women need that go-to gal pal....the BFF!! LOL I don't mean this to sound like men have shallower relationships with their men-friends, but since they don't get into "their feelings" (I can hear men groaning at this), they just need playmates. LOL

[Marilyn. 340]

I never have been good at making friends

i have been here for almost 3 years and still no friends besides my hubby....

I am hoping to join a mommy's and me type group so maybe I can make some friends through that...

[Welshcookie 17]

We moved away from my hometown 2 years ago leaving all my friends and family and I still have no friends .... and I'm still in my own country! ... I swear, if I didn't have a computer and online buddies to chat to I think I would have boiled my head by now.

[Kotenochek 0]

I am here yet few months but looks like its quite a hard thing to find real friends,real as in europe.i lived all over europe and have bunch of friends there.Here people are bit different,you can rarely trust anyone,because most of people trying to flirt rather with me or my husband,even when we trying to have friends-couple...very weird.I found few russian girls online but they are in La and i am north of CA.

good luck!!!find something to do,like some courses or anything like that.it might help.

[Sister Fracas 5]

We moved away from my hometown 2 years ago leaving all my friends and family and I still have no friends .... and I'm still in my own country! ... I swear, if I didn't have a computer and online buddies to chat to I think I would have boiled my head by now.

*huggles*

or wait....maybe I'm just flirting with you...........

Here people are bit different,you can rarely trust anyone,because most of people trying to flirt rather with me or my husband,even when we trying to have friends-couple...very weird.

yes, we are all flirts

[Nancy2015 2]

I am here yet few months but looks like its quite a hard thing to find real friends,real as in europe.i lived all over europe and have bunch of friends there.Here people are bit different,you can rarely trust anyone,because most of people trying to flirt rather with me or my husband,even when we trying to have friends-couple...very weird.I found few russian girls online but they are in La and i am north of CA.

good luck!!!find something to do,like some courses or anything like that.it might help.

If you're up there in San Francisco, there should be a lot of Russian people there.

It is hard to make friends here, so true. And the older you get, the harder it is!

[ajames79 0]

As others have said, I guess it is a bit easier for guys to make friends! My husband has a great group of male friends.

They are even building a recording studio together at our new house! They all say that they are paying rent early for use of it! It really warms my heart to know he fits in.

A few ideas as I have moved around loads...it takes a while for anyone to make close friends I think. But perhaps join a few classes...Like yoga or an art class. Take a few classes at a community college. Something fun. Perhaps a neat cooking class. I met my friends in Charlotte (I moved there years ago without knowing a soul) by the pool. I'd go everyday, after work and just get to know the faces of who did the same! I met some great people.

Good friendships take time to develop. Don't get discouraged! Good luck everyone!

[Marilyn. 340]

We moved away from my hometown 2 years ago leaving all my friends and family and I still have no friends .... and I'm still in my own country! ... I swear, if I didn't have a computer and online buddies to chat to I think I would have boiled my head by now.

same here

Edited November 30, 2007 by MarilynP