have you founf after 1 yr living in US to have found a real friend?

[daphne2109 0]

Hi girls, I just wanted to know if out there somebody has found something very common to me (maybe it's depending on the part of USA where you live) but after 1 year living in US I haven't met yet someone to be called girlfriend to me. And this kind of stuff has been stressing me alot..........because when I don't work or my hubby works and I'm alone, it bugs ALOT.

I live in Hawaii where people are very hostile, and to meet & make new friends is like winning the lotto.

I just wanted to know if someone out there has something in common with me.

I just would like to also point out that I'm a nice person & very open to make new friends, so I really believe that it is not my fault, actually I have noticed that the only one thing that girls are interested in here is eating like animals, and having as many kids as much as they can ..........so it's really sucks to me, since I don't have anything in common in that. I would love to talk, exchange converrsation.........nothing at all, everything is concentrated in food & kids..........welll, I guess that everybody is different, so everybody can have their own though and behave.........

Here looks like that if you are not from here, they don't really care about you.......toatally different to the mainland, if you wanna come to Hawaii come just as a tourist, sorry but that's how it is...........don't come to live.

I would like to share your exeperience about new friendship made during yiur first year in USA.

Aloha from a very difficult place where to make new friends

[StoryAngel 4]

Daphne, I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties in making friends. I haven't yet made it across the Pond to the US so I'm interested to see what other responses get posted here. From what I understand (someone else please correct me if I'm wrong!) then culturally friendships tend to be more fluid and casual in America than in some other parts of the world... and that they are often based on interests. I've lived in a number of different countries and consider myself easy to get on with, but it can be difficult to break through barriers. It took me longer than a year to establish really good friendships when I moved to NL from the UK. I've been here 6 years and it's taken hard work, but it's been worth it. Maybe you can join a sports group or start a new hobby or something as a way of meeting people with similar interests? It can take quite a bit of effort but if you're willing to go for it I'm sure you'll reap the benefits. Wishing you all the best!

[Ephesia 0]

Daphne, I am sorry you are having a difficult time forming friendships in Aloha. Do you get along with your husband's friends? That is how many of us started out after moving to the US. After living here for more than 2 years, I consider them my closest friends. In fact, they call me more often than they call my husband when we're making plans for the weekend.

Aside from my husband's friends, I hang out with two girls from work. My husband and I have even gone on double dates with them. So I have been quite fortunate.

We also attend church and have gotten to know many people. I babysit once every 8 Sundays, so that's a good opportunity for me to interact with the mommies and daddies.

I hope things get better for you.

[Mrs.J06 4]

I'm not doing so good on the friends front, either, but I think one year isn't that long of a time, don't get frustrated quite yet

It takes longer to find friends the older you get. I was told that in the Midwest, where I am, it's very hard to find friends (not only for aliens, but also for other Americans who move to the area), but once you find them, they are very committed and loyal.

Keep on trying, I'm sure not everybody in Hawaii is only interested in eating and kids...

[Krikit 1,164]

I find that becoming friendly with someone is usually quite a long process. It takes time to become comfortable enough with someone to the point where I would call them "friend". To me, a friend is someone who knows the good, the bad, and the ugly about you (and vice versa) but still loves you anyway. The best way to go about it is to join clubs or groups of common interest, and they usually evolve naturally out of that. If you work, that's a good way to meet people too.

It looks like you're from Italy. (I LOOOOOVE Italy. ) Perhaps there's an Italian-American club in your area you may want to check into where you could do a bit of socializing? Maybe there's someone on VJ who lives in your area and would like to meet up?

Don't worry, Daphne. I'm sure you'll start meeting new friends soon. In the meantime, come and visit your friends here on VJ.

[AussieAmerican 0]

Daphne - you're not alone! I've lived both here (in Hawaii) and in Maine for the past 1.5 years. Honestly I think people are nicer to me here in Hawaii, not sure if it's because of my nationality or down to earth nature, or maybe both. In the time I've lived in the states I have very much noticed the cultural problems that arise when I've made new friends. Back in Maine I had a fantastic next door neighbor who I became friends with. Other than her I had no real friends up there. Here in Hawaii I've met a lot of women through an online friendship group. Now that I've said that, while I have met some AWESOME people, I recently had the unfortunate experience of making a toxic friend. You know, the lying, stealing, etc kind... so I kind of backed up for a bit as I thought I must've missed the red flag there.

I'd be happy to hang out, and I'm not your 'typical' housewife who is all about food (I'm a culinary preschooler! lol) BUT... there's always a catch!! I've got children...for some reason they just mulitplied like little gremlins! I have two school aged and a baby

P.S Embrace Hawaii and all it has to offer - I sure have!! The hiking, photography, sunbaking, exploring, shopping.... I even ended up with a small role on LOST by accident!!

[jc1b 0]

Hi girls, I just wanted to know if out there somebody has found something very common to me (maybe it's depending on the part of USA where you live) but after 1 year living in US I haven't met yet someone to be called girlfriend to me. And this kind of stuff has been stressing me alot..........because when I don't work or my hubby works and I'm alone, it bugs ALOT.

I live in Hawaii where people are very hostile, and to meet & make new friends is like winning the lotto.

I just wanted to know if someone out there has something in common with me.

I just would like to also point out that I'm a nice person & very open to make new friends, so I really believe that it is not my fault, actually I have noticed that the only one thing that girls are interested in here is eating like animals, and having as many kids as much as they can ..........so it's really sucks to me, since I don't have anything in common in that. I would love to talk, exchange converrsation.........nothing at all, everything is concentrated in food & kids..........welll, I guess that everybody is different, so everybody can have their own though and behave.........

Here looks like that if you are not from here, they don't really care about you.......toatally different to the mainland, if you wanna come to Hawaii come just as a tourist, sorry but that's how it is...........don't come to live.

I would like to share your exeperience about new friendship made during yiur first year in USA.

Aloha from a very difficult place where to make new friends

Hi Daphne

We feel the same way i dont have any friends since i moved here in US ( we are now in sandy utah) but ive here for almost 2 months now i dont know anyone here except my husband. I am also by myself if is atwork...its hard but this is part of adjustment and soon we will be fine and maybe we could meet some friends too...

Goodluck and take care

Claire

[lynamon 0]

Hi ladies ... I was just thinking about the "making friends" thing today and I have to tell you .. I've been in the US for 3 1/2 months now and I went to see my hairdresser today (my second time going) and I had the best conversation with him. We chit chatted like school girls and I had thought that that was the best conversation that I had had with anyone but my husband since I came here ... of course my hairdresser is totally gay ... so I've decided .. gay men are easier to find than finding good female friends later on in life .. just thought that I'd share my tip lol

[Lyuba 0]

I didn't make any friends for 3 years.... Still hoping for a wonder.

[raphael7546 0]

been here in Ogden Utah 2years and still no friends.

[Vi Mazzella 4]

My best friend here in NYC is a co worker (yes, a guy),a Personal trainer, and he's an awesome friend, I fell like if I know him for years. My hubby used to be a little jealous about him in the past until he met him.

[chipsahoy 3]

Been here for 2-months.. First thing my husband and I were looking for was a church.. We found one. And I found new friends from that church. Same nationality and some other races.. Thank God!

[daphne2109 0]

Hey girls you made happy & put a smile on my face, because at least now I know I'm not the only one not to have made new friends yet since I've moved here in USA after 1 year (except, of course, my husband). Thanks for sharing your thoughts, your experiences, your idea, your advice, thanks so much for giving me at least a positive reaction to something that I was SO concern about.

I will follow some of yr advice, and please send more messages and experiences you have been having, I'll be so happy to hear from all of you, we are in the same boat, isn'it?

Thanks again, Daphne!!!!!

[daphne2109 0]

I didn't make any friends for 3 years.... Still hoping for a wonder.

After 3 years it is a long time, and I really wish you can meet at least a very good girlfriend, in the meantime congratulation for the baby you guys are expecting, it must be a great experience!!!!!

[LaGreenEyes 0]

I think it's not only moving to a new country where it's a challenge to find new friends but also a new city. I moved to South Florida in June from Texas where I'd lived almost my whole life and between work and spending time with hubby it's been hard to make new friends. I've made some casual friendships at work and we have a blast there, but as far as outside of work I haven't made any new friends really as of yet. I'm fortunate that I new a few people down here already that I used to work with in Texas and they ended up here one way or another but we are all very spread out. My husband had some friends and family here as well, and he's made some new friends just out and about becayuse he's wearing his Panama T-shirt or hat to some cultural events and there's always someone that's like "oh you're from Panama!?, there's not loads and loads of us here like other groups'' and they all get to talking and exchanging numbers and such. I think that such events are really some of the best ways to make friends. I plan to join my college sorority local Alumni chapter here and see how that goes.

Keep your head up, girl! There's bound to be some cool chicks in Hawaii!