PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I think I'm going to go thru old cell phone records to see if he has been calling her. Maybe I'm asking for it though looking for these things.

Wow, where is the trust here?

I'm sorry but TALK TO HIM!

You think you are going to believe a word that comes out of this woman's mouth anyhow?!?

Talk to the man you are married to, love and share your life with other than this woman who may be absolutely no one.

Reverse the roles, how would you feel if your husband suspected you of this and went around behind your back trying to find dirt on you? I'm sure you'd be completely hurt.

Communication is the key to an everlasting relationship, use it and talk to him.

Edited November 14, 2007 by ~Laura and Nick~

[Mags 112]

Have you done anything to give him a wandering eye?

Rather judgemental, don't you think? Why would cheating on someone be the fault of the person being cheated on? They haven't made the decision to cheat, it would be their partner.

Another Charlie Brown moment lol.

No, it isn't.

OP ~ I think you just need to talk to him in a calm and non accusatory manner. Just bring up the fact that your Dad had a couple of calls from a woman named Betsy and also mention that you had a brief convo with her. Just act like you're passing on the message to him and gauge his reaction to it.

Personally? I don't think he is up to anything, if you're having an affair the first thing you would do after a phone switch is give your bit on the side your new number. The last thing you'd want to happen is that your father in law would end up speaking to her...

[Fandango 1,439]

It doesn't sound like much too be worried about to me.

As others suggested just ask him about her.

If they were ' close' she would have his new number by now. The fact that he didn't give her his new number obviously means

she is not important to him.

My husband has only had his new number for about a week and a half. Also, I informed him about switching his cell phone with my dad's with not much time in advance before we actually went to the store to do it. So, in reality I didn't give him any time to tell his contacts about his new number. But then you have a good point. If they had something going, I'm sure she would have been the first to get his new number.

I think I'm going to go thru old cell phone records to see if he has been calling her. Maybe I'm asking for it though looking for these things.

I think I'm losing it guys. I really do hope this turns out to be nothing.

I couldn't feel stronger about this being the worst think you can do. Why the cloak and dagger stuff? Just talk to your husband.

[Otto 83]

OP

Possible Outcome to having an 'investigative' impulse... before having a 'communication' impulse...

You'll work yourself up, going through records...worndering who all the numbers belong to - assuming the worst about every number you can't immediately verify - and going mad when a 'out of area' or 'private' number appears... It may lead to an obsessive behavior about credit card statements, ATM withdraws, time off work that wasn't spent with you - you may attempt to connect dots that aren't really there - and in the end, whether there was anything to this mystery caller or not - you'll have permanent trust issues because there will always be doubts. (Like the song says..."Paranoia Will Destroy Ya..)

Why? because you didn't talk to him first - your husband - and perhaps (and I would hope not) by the time you do talk to him, it may seem more like an interrogation which could lead to other problems in communication..

No advice here other than talk to him..

[*JG* 2]

Yes, ask him about it. I went through pretty much the same thing with my husband. Turns out she is a grade school friend from JA who moved to Florida years ago. He talks to her. I talk to her. It's nothing but a friend.

So, yah, maybe it is something you think is suspicious. But, it could just be something very simple and innocent.

[Widge 0]

TALK TO HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!

Whatever the outcome sooner or later you have to and it will be an awful lot better sooner rather than later ...... always is. MY gut feeling is you have nothing whatsoever to worry about. I like others can think of several people who could call my number and my hubby would not know who they are. Could it be that this was someone he met like she says at work and he kept the contact so that he might use her to find work in the future when he got here they obviously have a connection in the same field if that is how he met her. As for her thinking you are his girlfriend, I suspect that is what you were when they met so if he hasn't spoken to her how will she know different.

My advice is act like a trusting wife and ask him who she is jealousy and distrust are big big killers in any relationship. Playing armchair detective is not a recipe for a succesful outcome to something that probably isn't anything at all.

[Nessa 23]

I think you should tell your husband that "Besty" called today and first see his reaction. Tell him the whole truth about the situation - including the small talk you had with her, and then tell him EXACLTY how you feel. There is no need to start panicking now, it may turn out to be nothing.

I'd do that. I don't think sneaking behind his back and calling her back is a good idea. As others have said, just talk to him.

[SteveLaura 0]

Agreeing with the Troll. Probably nothing.

[almaty 19]

i also agree with most of the posters..need to have a conversation and clear the air..and it is probably nothing...

[Scott & Lai 12]

I think you should tell your husband that "Besty" called today and first see his reaction. Tell him the whole truth about the situation - including the small talk you had with her, and then tell him EXACLTY how you feel. There is no need to start panicking now, it may turn out to be nothing.

I'd do that. I don't think sneaking behind his back and calling her back is a good idea. As others have said, just talk to him.

But please do that without sounding like you've already judged him and found him guilty....

[Scott & Lai 12]

So, what happened?

[coolred38 0]

Of course there is one angle you should consider....sometimes the "other woman" get dumped or something and so to get even she makes herself known to the wife...revenge if you will.

I hope its all a friendly matter and no cause for concern....but dont sleep too many days on it (if you can sleep) cause your mind will damage your relationship even if there is no reason to for it to be damaged. Good Luck

[Nearly Done 8]

iris, I do not think you have anything to worry about .Just talk with your husband about it in a casual manner, you will probably find you were worrying for nothing.

Goodluck and let us know how it went

Margy

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I hope you are doing well today Iris

[raphael7546 0]

I honestly wouldn't worry about it. If the girl called on his NEW phone & you answered it, then I would have some concern. But she obviously doesn't have that number so she is insignificant to him.

Could also be someone at work trying to cause trouble. Do they know he has a different phone now and that your dad has the old one?