tuesday!

[♥JP♥ 5]

No barfin today?

5 more hours at my desk---then MAJOR hair renovation. Ya'll know the 'before', tonight I will post the 'after'.

J

Yay, who is gonna do your hair??

[Ban Hammer 13,347]

Moments like this, I want to run away from my job. Why do men think they know more about floors than I do? I have a project foreman DEMANDING we install a wood floor in the big azz building. And he wants it installed in 2 weeks. Normally this would not be a bad thing, but they just poured the concrete floor a few weeks ago. I told him that wood CANNOT go over wet concrete til it passes a calcium chloride test of 3 pounds per 1000 sf. He said it won't pass that for 6 months. So we got in a pizzin match over my knowledge and his timeframe of expectations. Then I had to further piss him off and tell him the heating system has to be in place and running for 4 weeks. Thru the phone, it sounded like he lost his breath. lol

The builder commended me for bringing this to their attention and mr. project foreman I can assure you is re-doing his computerized timeline. This paticular project will run 5 years. I sure hope we can all get along better than this first building. There will be 9 more of them to come.

Ok, back to solving more flooring emergencies.

J

getting giggly over this haircut! I feel like extreme makeover.

jackie, just tell him you have a bigger tape measure

[Aymerlu 3]

Sitting here at my new job, at my new desk and I'm having a blast!!!!! We already have 5 patients scheduled for our first day of clinic!

Do you have beverages and snacks out too!?

I keep picturing a grand opening for a car dealership with balloons and barbecue. I don't know why.

LOL! I have a chocolate chip cookie and a Route 44 diet vanilla coke from Sonic....does that count?

[~Jackie~ 30]

Mine is bigger, longer, stiffer and fatter than his. So there, mr. project manager, put your little, short, limp, skinny tape back on your pants. and leave the floors up to the experts.

Jackie

[Aymerlu 3]

Mine is bigger, longer, stiffer and fatter than his. So there, mr. project manager, put your little, short, limp, skinny tape back on your pants. and leave the floors up to the experts.

Jackie

LOL! I just snorted my coke! (that's doesn't sound good does it?)

[~Jackie~ 30]

uh, no...snortin your coke didn't sound good. Try Dr. Pepper instead.

J

[Aymerlu 3]

uh, no...snortin your coke didn't sound good. Try Dr. Pepper instead.

J

Snortin coke on the job of all things

[Ban Hammer 13,347]

uh, no...snortin your coke didn't sound good. Try Dr. Pepper instead.

J

[doodlebug 3]

Mine is bigger, longer, stiffer and fatter than his. So there, mr. project manager, put your little, short, limp, skinny tape back on your pants. and leave the floors up to the experts.

Jackie

girl you are on a ROLL lately!!!!

[Ban Hammer 13,347]

Mine is bigger, longer, stiffer and fatter than his. So there, mr. project manager, put your little, short, limp, skinny tape back on your pants. and leave the floors up to the experts.

Jackie

girl you are on a ROLL lately!!!!

thanks to jackie's bragging, i've gotten tape measure envy

[~Jackie~ 30]

tape measue envy

Heard any good jokes lately?

J

[Ban Hammer 13,347]

tape measue envy

Heard any good jokes lately?

J

lemme see........how about some work related ones?

OUTGOING PERSONALITY Always going out of the office

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS Able to bulls--t

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS Spends lots of time on the phone

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY Too ugly to get a date

ACTIVE SOCIALLY Drinks a lot

VERY ACTIVE SOCIALLY Spouse drinks too

INDEPENDENT WORKER Nobody know what he/she does

QUICK THINKER Offers plausible excuses

CAREFUL THINKER Won't make a decision

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS Gets someone else to do it

EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL Speaks English

METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL A nitpicker

HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES Is tall or has a louder voice

EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT. Lucky

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR Knows a lot of dirty jokes

CAREER MINDED Back stabber

LOYAL Can’t get a job anywhere else

PLANS FOR PROMITION/ADVANCEMENT Buys drinks for all the boys

OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION Gets to work on time

RELAXED ATTITUDE Sleeps at desk

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actual Quotes Taken From Federal Government Employee Performance

Evaluations (i bet they all work at uscis)

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached

rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been,

but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and

cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only

to change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot

puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then

consistently fails to achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of

an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he

starts, the better."

11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy

to hold it all together."

12. "A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an

ordinary ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the

room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks

bored, he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover

glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done

using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the

train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is

out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be

watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd

get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear

the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other

sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he

only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

Edited November 13, 2007 by charlesandnessa

[yassmine2878 1]

Mine is bigger, longer, stiffer and fatter than his. So there, mr. project manager, put your little, short, limp, skinny tape back on your pants. and leave the floors up to the experts.

Jackie

[sarah and hicham 3]

It's a pretty slow day around here, I need SOMETHING to wake me up.

Can't we argue about something for God's sake?

[♥JP♥ 5]

I'm bored. Someone SAY SOMETHING! (and don't reply and say "something")