Do I have to support my ex-husband AND our child if we get divorced?

[rebeccajo 14]

Diaddie -

What reasoning or precedent was used to come to these brilliant conclusions?

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Diaddie -

What reasoning or precedent was used to come to these brilliant conclusions?

There was no precedent, in fact, I believe that the Stump case set precedent and it was in Indiana, rather than Pennsylvania (There's another case similar in scope in Pennsylvania that I was confusing it with).

The court in Indiana granted summary judgment for the plaintiff, Ms. Stump (the alien), and found that a sponsored alien could bring action against its sponsor for financial support, and that such action was and would be independent of any action that could be brought by government agencies seeking reimbursement for benefits given out to the alien. As for the matter of amn alien not attempting to mitigate the situation by seeking work, the court found that the alien was not precluded from enforcing the obligation that the US citizen spouse had made by way of the endorsed Affidavit of Support, despite not having worked or even attempting to seek some sort of income producing activity. In this respect the court held that the issue of mitigation would be dealt with in terms of the amount that could be claimed in damages, and that failure to secure employment or income did not in any way obviate the liability to which the US citizen sponsor had obliged himself through the Affidavit itself.

[floridalaurie 0]

I'm not sure exactly what 'support' you are worrying about having to provide.

The I864 holds the USC responsible if the immigrant avails themselves of means-tested benefits. That 'support' is different than the type of support a family judge may award your husband (if that is your concern).

I've heard (and the Mermaid might know more about this) that there is some family case law wherein the immigrant presented the I864 to the family judge as evidence that the USC had agreed to 'support' them for 10 years, and prevailed. I've also heard this is very rare. Personally, I think it would take a judge asleep at the wheel to interpret the document in that manner, but I don't have a law degree so that makes my opinion pretty much without merit.

Let's address this issue of support. First, the I864 is a binding contract between the "petitioner" (the USC sponsor) and the US government. That contract is irrevocable and obliges the USC sponsor to make certain that the alien does not avail him or herself of means-tested benefits until he or she is eligible. IF the alien does avail him or herself of such benefits, the terms of the I-864 articulate that the government agency that has provided aid to the alien has the right to and can make a claim for reimbursement from the USC sponsor. And if such agency chooses to do so, the sponsor would either remit payment or face a legal claim from the agency for reimbursement. If the USC sponsor were faced with a lawsuit from the agency, the extant contract (the I-864) would afford the agency judgment in their favour and the USC sponsor would have to pay up.

Agencies have that right. Do they all decide to pursue it? No. But it can and does happen.

Now, as far as the other form of support that rebeccajo alludes to is concerned, this is quite different. First, the I-864 is a contract between the USC sponsor and the US government, and is irrevocable. There have been quite a number of separate civil lawsuits of late filed by aliens that are divorced from USC sponsors to seek some sort of financial aid, using the extant I-864 as a tool to demonstrate that the USC pledged to the government that the alien would not become a ward; that the alien would not have to resort to government aid and that the USC sponsor was going to assure the government of this by asserting that the alien would be kept and provided for to the sum of 125% of the poverty guideline figure ( a figure that would obviate qualification for aid).

These lawsuits, while few in number compared to the vast number of divorced aliens in the USA, can be and have been successful. One may google "Stump v Stump" a recent Pennsylvania case to see that the USC sponsor can find him or herself providing a sum up to 125% of the Poverty guideline figure for each year that the alien's own income falls below that, until such time the the alien satisfies the Affidavit of Support, by either naturalising, meeting the threshhold that the Social Security Administration has established of 40 qualifying calendar quarters of work, leaves the country permanently or dies. The judgment awarded to an alien that seeks remedy by virtue of this sort of civil lawsuit, would be the difference between his or her own income and that specified as 125% poverty line figure.

Here's the BIG rub! In Stump v. Stump, the court determined that the language of the I-864 does not articulate that the alien has any obligation to mitigate or improve his or her circumstances. In other words, the court ruled that there is no requirement that the alien mitigate the damages that a potential USC sponsor might incur by seeking work! So, in the worst case, a USC sponsor might find him or herself in such a lawsuit and with a judgment to provide 125% of the poverty guideline figure in damages to the alien for each year that the alien does not earn, and without any requirement for the alien to better his or her income, or even work at all!

While this might appear a gloomy prospect for any USC sponsor, it can be and is, in some situations, reality.

It's the Stump vs Stump case (there's one in FL too) that causes me worry in the face of believing that he used me to get here - child and all (since if he petitions to stay in the event of divorce, having a child "proves" our marriage was legit). His brother is already in the States and he knows exactly how the process works, all the ins and outs...

He sat on his butt in Jordan for 6 months waiting for his appt and he has sat on his butt here for 6 months and if there is nothing built into the system to motivate immigrants, why should they worry about doing more than sitting on their butts for 10 years soaking up the free support???

The one thing I did not realize (and I probably would have stopped the process had I known this beforehand), was that he might not get deported in the event of divorce since he is in conditional status. My concern is that we divorce, he disappears and I am left trying to support our son AND fund some bank account for him to the tune of 125% of poverty level. Now, $12k extra a year might not sound like a lot to some of you out there, but with trying to support our son by myself, it's just not doable...

[bhajishah 4]

Well a real fair judge would clearly see that this woman loved and had her husbands baby, and he basically is being a loser and not helping support his wife and child... If he comes after her for money, she should sue him for childsuport. Im willing to bet she will win this one.

on a lighter note, have you talked to him, what is his rationale and reasonings, where is his mind and heart. I took Manni a year to adjust and assimilate into a job he wanted. Good luck

[wjr 3]

Yup, I did it. I married a guy from Jordan who seemed like a great guy while I was posted in Iraq and he was working there too. We have a child he finally got here to see once the little guy was 14 months old, but the marriage is NOT working out and he seems somewhat reluctant to get and keep a job.

I'm feeling a bit used here. His brother got sponsored to come here a year before him so I KNOW that he knows the "ins-and-outs" of the process including filing to be separate from me in a divorce, but proving the marriage was bona-fide (having a baby). He was a responsible worker while I knew him in Iraq and was even helping to support his family in Jordan, but he's been a YEAR without a job (6 months in Jordan waiting for his appt at the Embassy) and now 6 months here.

I NOW fully comprehend the depth of the I-864, but my God, I am having trouble making ends meet now! I cannot possibly support our baby AND him!!! Do I have any rights as the US Citizen in this situation whatsoever???

Oh yea, and BTW, if he manages to get out of the country and back to Jordan with our little guy, I have NO custodial rights in the Middle East as a Christian mother. Jordan does NOT participate in the Hague Convention for the return of abducted children. So, I have this additional fun little thing to worry about if he decides to "go home" as a result of the divorce...

Women beware! Marrying for love can put you in some STUPID and SCARY situations...

Take a look at Tito's post on "Successful withdrawl of I 864". I can not remember the exact situation but I know he was able to withdraw the affidavit of support.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Yup, I did it. I married a guy from Jordan who seemed like a great guy while I was posted in Iraq and he was working there too. We have a child he finally got here to see once the little guy was 14 months old, but the marriage is NOT working out and he seems somewhat reluctant to get and keep a job.

I'm feeling a bit used here. His brother got sponsored to come here a year before him so I KNOW that he knows the "ins-and-outs" of the process including filing to be separate from me in a divorce, but proving the marriage was bona-fide (having a baby). He was a responsible worker while I knew him in Iraq and was even helping to support his family in Jordan, but he's been a YEAR without a job (6 months in Jordan waiting for his appt at the Embassy) and now 6 months here.

I NOW fully comprehend the depth of the I-864, but my God, I am having trouble making ends meet now! I cannot possibly support our baby AND him!!! Do I have any rights as the US Citizen in this situation whatsoever???

Oh yea, and BTW, if he manages to get out of the country and back to Jordan with our little guy, I have NO custodial rights in the Middle East as a Christian mother. Jordan does NOT participate in the Hague Convention for the return of abducted children. So, I have this additional fun little thing to worry about if he decides to "go home" as a result of the divorce...

Women beware! Marrying for love can put you in some STUPID and SCARY situations...

Take a look at Tito's post on "Successful withdrawl of I 864". I can not remember the exact situation but I know he was able to withdraw the affidavit of support.

Withdrawal is possible, either:

1. prior to adjudication of the adjustment application (which is clearly not the case here)

2. a compelling report of fraud by the USC petitioner

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I'm not sure exactly what 'support' you are worrying about having to provide.

The I864 holds the USC responsible if the immigrant avails themselves of means-tested benefits. That 'support' is different than the type of support a family judge may award your husband (if that is your concern).

I've heard (and the Mermaid might know more about this) that there is some family case law wherein the immigrant presented the I864 to the family judge as evidence that the USC had agreed to 'support' them for 10 years, and prevailed. I've also heard this is very rare. Personally, I think it would take a judge asleep at the wheel to interpret the document in that manner, but I don't have a law degree so that makes my opinion pretty much without merit.

Let's address this issue of support. First, the I864 is a binding contract between the "petitioner" (the USC sponsor) and the US government. That contract is irrevocable and obliges the USC sponsor to make certain that the alien does not avail him or herself of means-tested benefits until he or she is eligible. IF the alien does avail him or herself of such benefits, the terms of the I-864 articulate that the government agency that has provided aid to the alien has the right to and can make a claim for reimbursement from the USC sponsor. And if such agency chooses to do so, the sponsor would either remit payment or face a legal claim from the agency for reimbursement. If the USC sponsor were faced with a lawsuit from the agency, the extant contract (the I-864) would afford the agency judgment in their favour and the USC sponsor would have to pay up.

Agencies have that right. Do they all decide to pursue it? No. But it can and does happen.

Now, as far as the other form of support that rebeccajo alludes to is concerned, this is quite different. First, the I-864 is a contract between the USC sponsor and the US government, and is irrevocable. There have been quite a number of separate civil lawsuits of late filed by aliens that are divorced from USC sponsors to seek some sort of financial aid, using the extant I-864 as a tool to demonstrate that the USC pledged to the government that the alien would not become a ward; that the alien would not have to resort to government aid and that the USC sponsor was going to assure the government of this by asserting that the alien would be kept and provided for to the sum of 125% of the poverty guideline figure ( a figure that would obviate qualification for aid).

These lawsuits, while few in number compared to the vast number of divorced aliens in the USA, can be and have been successful. One may google "Stump v Stump" a recent Pennsylvania case to see that the USC sponsor can find him or herself providing a sum up to 125% of the Poverty guideline figure for each year that the alien's own income falls below that, until such time the the alien satisfies the Affidavit of Support, by either naturalising, meeting the threshhold that the Social Security Administration has established of 40 qualifying calendar quarters of work, leaves the country permanently or dies. The judgment awarded to an alien that seeks remedy by virtue of this sort of civil lawsuit, would be the difference between his or her own income and that specified as 125% poverty line figure.

Here's the BIG rub! In Stump v. Stump, the court determined that the language of the I-864 does not articulate that the alien has any obligation to mitigate or improve his or her circumstances. In other words, the court ruled that there is no requirement that the alien mitigate the damages that a potential USC sponsor might incur by seeking work! So, in the worst case, a USC sponsor might find him or herself in such a lawsuit and with a judgment to provide 125% of the poverty guideline figure in damages to the alien for each year that the alien does not earn, and without any requirement for the alien to better his or her income, or even work at all!

While this might appear a gloomy prospect for any USC sponsor, it can be and is, in some situations, reality.

It's the Stump vs Stump case (there's one in FL too) that causes me worry in the face of believing that he used me to get here - child and all (since if he petitions to stay in the event of divorce, having a child "proves" our marriage was legit). His brother is already in the States and he knows exactly how the process works, all the ins and outs...

He sat on his butt in Jordan for 6 months waiting for his appt and he has sat on his butt here for 6 months and if there is nothing built into the system to motivate immigrants, why should they worry about doing more than sitting on their butts for 10 years soaking up the free support???

The one thing I did not realize (and I probably would have stopped the process had I known this beforehand), was that he might not get deported in the event of divorce since he is in conditional status. My concern is that we divorce, he disappears and I am left trying to support our son AND fund some bank account for him to the tune of 125% of poverty level. Now, $12k extra a year might not sound like a lot to some of you out there, but with trying to support our son by myself, it's just not doable...

floridalaurie,

Being a "dead beat" husband and father (pardon me for such a blunt reference) and being an alien that has engaged in defrauding the government of permanent residency are two highly different things!

Having a child does not "prove" his intentions upon entering the marriage were bona fide, IF there is evidence to the contrary! If that evidence that you have is mere speculation or circumstantial, then you are facing an uphill battle trying to disprove the marriage is legitimate but with a "dead beat" for a partner.

[floridalaurie 0]

Yup, I did it. I married a guy from Jordan who seemed like a great guy while I was posted in Iraq and he was working there too. We have a child he finally got here to see once the little guy was 14 months old, but the marriage is NOT working out and he seems somewhat reluctant to get and keep a job.

I'm feeling a bit used here. His brother got sponsored to come here a year before him so I KNOW that he knows the "ins-and-outs" of the process including filing to be separate from me in a divorce, but proving the marriage was bona-fide (having a baby). He was a responsible worker while I knew him in Iraq and was even helping to support his family in Jordan, but he's been a YEAR without a job (6 months in Jordan waiting for his appt at the Embassy) and now 6 months here.

I NOW fully comprehend the depth of the I-864, but my God, I am having trouble making ends meet now! I cannot possibly support our baby AND him!!! Do I have any rights as the US Citizen in this situation whatsoever???

Oh yea, and BTW, if he manages to get out of the country and back to Jordan with our little guy, I have NO custodial rights in the Middle East as a Christian mother. Jordan does NOT participate in the Hague Convention for the return of abducted children. So, I have this additional fun little thing to worry about if he decides to "go home" as a result of the divorce...

Women beware! Marrying for love can put you in some STUPID and SCARY situations...

Take a look at Tito's post on "Successful withdrawl of I 864". I can not remember the exact situation but I know he was able to withdraw the affidavit of support.

Withdrawal is possible, either:

1. prior to adjudication of the adjustment application (which is clearly not the case here)

2. a compelling report of fraud by the USC petitioner

Since he has his green card, but is in conditional status since we were not married for two years when he got here, all that happens for him next is applying to remove the conditional status at the end of being here two years, right? What happens to him if I end up declaring bankruptcy (entirely possible between his ability to keep spending money though he isn't supplying any and supporting our son) and can no longer meet the demands of the I-864??? Would he have to find a new sponsor (his brother has been here for over a year already).

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Yup, I did it. I married a guy from Jordan who seemed like a great guy while I was posted in Iraq and he was working there too. We have a child he finally got here to see once the little guy was 14 months old, but the marriage is NOT working out and he seems somewhat reluctant to get and keep a job.

I'm feeling a bit used here. His brother got sponsored to come here a year before him so I KNOW that he knows the "ins-and-outs" of the process including filing to be separate from me in a divorce, but proving the marriage was bona-fide (having a baby). He was a responsible worker while I knew him in Iraq and was even helping to support his family in Jordan, but he's been a YEAR without a job (6 months in Jordan waiting for his appt at the Embassy) and now 6 months here.

I NOW fully comprehend the depth of the I-864, but my God, I am having trouble making ends meet now! I cannot possibly support our baby AND him!!! Do I have any rights as the US Citizen in this situation whatsoever???

Oh yea, and BTW, if he manages to get out of the country and back to Jordan with our little guy, I have NO custodial rights in the Middle East as a Christian mother. Jordan does NOT participate in the Hague Convention for the return of abducted children. So, I have this additional fun little thing to worry about if he decides to "go home" as a result of the divorce...

Women beware! Marrying for love can put you in some STUPID and SCARY situations...

Take a look at Tito's post on "Successful withdrawl of I 864". I can not remember the exact situation but I know he was able to withdraw the affidavit of support.

Withdrawal is possible, either:

1. prior to adjudication of the adjustment application (which is clearly not the case here)

2. a compelling report of fraud by the USC petitioner

Since he has his green card, but is in conditional status since we were not married for two years when he got here, all that happens for him next is applying to remove the conditional status at the end of being here two years, right? What happens to him if I end up declaring bankruptcy (entirely possible between his ability to keep spending money though he isn't supplying any and supporting our son) and can no longer meet the demands of the I-864??? Would he have to find a new sponsor (his brother has been here for over a year already).

No, I don't think so! My feeling is that bankruptcy would not alleviate you from a court order to pay a sum of money to a government agency as a result of the responsibility you are obliged to under the terms of the Affidavit of Support. In bankruptcy proceedings, an applicant can reduce certain debt ~ dischargeable debts. Some debt is not dischargeable. You'd have to speak with a bankruptcy attorney to double check, but I would sense that the US government would be considered "secured" and/or "first priority" debt.

Meeting the demands of the I-864 is not a choice, it's a requirement for you.

[floridalaurie 0]

Yup, I did it. I married a guy from Jordan who seemed like a great guy while I was posted in Iraq and he was working there too. We have a child he finally got here to see once the little guy was 14 months old, but the marriage is NOT working out and he seems somewhat reluctant to get and keep a job.

I'm feeling a bit used here. His brother got sponsored to come here a year before him so I KNOW that he knows the "ins-and-outs" of the process including filing to be separate from me in a divorce, but proving the marriage was bona-fide (having a baby). He was a responsible worker while I knew him in Iraq and was even helping to support his family in Jordan, but he's been a YEAR without a job (6 months in Jordan waiting for his appt at the Embassy) and now 6 months here.

I NOW fully comprehend the depth of the I-864, but my God, I am having trouble making ends meet now! I cannot possibly support our baby AND him!!! Do I have any rights as the US Citizen in this situation whatsoever???

Oh yea, and BTW, if he manages to get out of the country and back to Jordan with our little guy, I have NO custodial rights in the Middle East as a Christian mother. Jordan does NOT participate in the Hague Convention for the return of abducted children. So, I have this additional fun little thing to worry about if he decides to "go home" as a result of the divorce...

Women beware! Marrying for love can put you in some STUPID and SCARY situations...

Take a look at Tito's post on "Successful withdrawl of I 864". I can not remember the exact situation but I know he was able to withdraw the affidavit of support.

Withdrawal is possible, either:

1. prior to adjudication of the adjustment application (which is clearly not the case here)

2. a compelling report of fraud by the USC petitioner

Since he has his green card, but is in conditional status since we were not married for two years when he got here, all that happens for him next is applying to remove the conditional status at the end of being here two years, right? What happens to him if I end up declaring bankruptcy (entirely possible between his ability to keep spending money though he isn't supplying any and supporting our son) and can no longer meet the demands of the I-864??? Would he have to find a new sponsor (his brother has been here for over a year already).

No, I don't think so! My feeling is that bankruptcy would not alleviate you from a court order to pay a sum of money to a government agency as a result of the responsibility you are obliged to under the terms of the Affidavit of Support. In bankruptcy proceedings, an applicant can reduce certain debt ~ dischargeable debts. Some debt is not dischargeable. You'd have to speak with a bankruptcy attorney to double check, but I would sense that the US government would be considered "secured" and/or "first priority" debt.

Meeting the demands of the I-864 is not a choice, it's a requirement for you.

Well, if I end up having to declare bankruptcy, I will most likely lose my job and won't have the money to support him anyway and my mother certainly isn't going to let him move into her home if I have to move back to her house via losing my house...

[Traviesa 0]

Oh man this sucks so bad. I wish there was a way out for you. If there's a chance he doesn't know that technically he can sue you for regular support then you should be alright. Maybe he doesn't realize that and is only aware of the government benefits side of it. Or does he know about any of it?

[kapakahi 0]

Yup, I did it. I married a guy from Jordan who seemed like a great guy while I was posted in Iraq and he was working there too. We have a child he finally got here to see once the little guy was 14 months old, but the marriage is NOT working out and he seems somewhat reluctant to get and keep a job.

I'm feeling a bit used here. His brother got sponsored to come here a year before him so I KNOW that he knows the "ins-and-outs" of the process including filing to be separate from me in a divorce, but proving the marriage was bona-fide (having a baby). He was a responsible worker while I knew him in Iraq and was even helping to support his family in Jordan, but he's been a YEAR without a job (6 months in Jordan waiting for his appt at the Embassy) and now 6 months here.

I NOW fully comprehend the depth of the I-864, but my God, I am having trouble making ends meet now! I cannot possibly support our baby AND him!!! Do I have any rights as the US Citizen in this situation whatsoever???

Oh yea, and BTW, if he manages to get out of the country and back to Jordan with our little guy, I have NO custodial rights in the Middle East as a Christian mother. Jordan does NOT participate in the Hague Convention for the return of abducted children. So, I have this additional fun little thing to worry about if he decides to "go home" as a result of the divorce...

Women beware! Marrying for love can put you in some STUPID and SCARY situations...

Take a look at Tito's post on "Successful withdrawl of I 864". I can not remember the exact situation but I know he was able to withdraw the affidavit of support.

Withdrawal is possible, either:

1. prior to adjudication of the adjustment application (which is clearly not the case here)

2. a compelling report of fraud by the USC petitioner

Since he has his green card, but is in conditional status since we were not married for two years when he got here, all that happens for him next is applying to remove the conditional status at the end of being here two years, right? What happens to him if I end up declaring bankruptcy (entirely possible between his ability to keep spending money though he isn't supplying any and supporting our son) and can no longer meet the demands of the I-864??? Would he have to find a new sponsor (his brother has been here for over a year already).

No, I don't think so! My feeling is that bankruptcy would not alleviate you from a court order to pay a sum of money to a government agency as a result of the responsibility you are obliged to under the terms of the Affidavit of Support. In bankruptcy proceedings, an applicant can reduce certain debt ~ dischargeable debts. Some debt is not dischargeable. You'd have to speak with a bankruptcy attorney to double check, but I would sense that the US government would be considered "secured" and/or "first priority" debt.

Meeting the demands of the I-864 is not a choice, it's a requirement for you.

Well, if I end up having to declare bankruptcy, I will most likely lose my job and won't have the money to support him anyway and my mother certainly isn't going to let him move into her home if I have to move back to her house via losing my house...

Why do you think you will likely lose your job and/or house if you file for BK? It should have no effect on your job - I filed for chapter 7 in '01 and nobody even knew - fortunately most people have better things to do than read the Legal Notices in the back of the newspaper I guess.

Also, unless the new laws have changed, you will not lose your house - there is a 'homestead exemption' - since I rent it did not apply to me but I think unless you are living in a McMansion you will be fine. I hope it will not come to that point, but just trying to allay your fears. GL.

[dawnnhatem 0]

If I can just add some things here...

First, if he did use you, and you really think theres some family agenda that doesn't inclue you, I would not sweat the support thing at all because if that is the case, his family is no doubt expecting him to get on his feet and start sending home money on a regular basis. At some point, his brothers or whoever you said was showing him the ropes is going to help him get his act together by either getting him a job or cutting him into someone's business or something. Its sad to say it like this but whats keeping them from getting him going sooner might be that you are still around. Thats of course IF you are being used. 6 months is not a crazy amount of time to not have it together yet. It could take him longer too and it wouldn't have to mean that he came here to mooch off you.

Second, about passports and keping your hands on the baby... consider getting the baby's passportS now. And don't forget he gets a Jordanian passport, too. The first parent to apply for the passport will get it, the second one there who shows up alone to replace a 1-yr olds lost passport looks suspect, So get the passports, control where they are located, and inform BOTH embassies that you want to be notified if a replacement is ever applied for. Jordan may not be a party to the HC but they do honor parent requests, I've heard. Also you never used the word Divorce, but should you go that way, you can have "who controls the baby's passports " written into the cust order too.

Anyway, 6 months really isn't a long time and adjusting to each other is sooo stinkin hard even without money problems. Try to keep open to the idea that the situation just might not be what it looks like now. Wish you the best

[dawnnhatem 0]

Another thing about applying for the Jordanian Passport, You will know if your child has been issued one already. If your other half ever did think about taking off off with the baby, he would have certainly picked up a passport for him before leaving Jordan. (I think its like $15 there, easy, one trip and its normal for dad to apply solo...To get it while in the US its over $200 and theres a lot of waiting, and they look out for custody things more.) If no passport has ever been applied for, you probably don't have as much to worry about as you think.

[Caladan 19]

Yup, I did it. I married a guy from Jordan who seemed like a great guy while I was posted in Iraq and he was working there too. We have a child he finally got here to see once the little guy was 14 months old, but the marriage is NOT working out and he seems somewhat reluctant to get and keep a job.

I'm feeling a bit used here. His brother got sponsored to come here a year before him so I KNOW that he knows the "ins-and-outs" of the process including filing to be separate from me in a divorce, but proving the marriage was bona-fide (having a baby). He was a responsible worker while I knew him in Iraq and was even helping to support his family in Jordan, but he's been a YEAR without a job (6 months in Jordan waiting for his appt at the Embassy) and now 6 months here.

I NOW fully comprehend the depth of the I-864, but my God, I am having trouble making ends meet now! I cannot possibly support our baby AND him!!! Do I have any rights as the US Citizen in this situation whatsoever???

Oh yea, and BTW, if he manages to get out of the country and back to Jordan with our little guy, I have NO custodial rights in the Middle East as a Christian mother. Jordan does NOT participate in the Hague Convention for the return of abducted children. So, I have this additional fun little thing to worry about if he decides to "go home" as a result of the divorce...

Women beware! Marrying for love can put you in some STUPID and SCARY situations...

Take a look at Tito's post on "Successful withdrawl of I 864". I can not remember the exact situation but I know he was able to withdraw the affidavit of support.

Withdrawal is possible, either:

1. prior to adjudication of the adjustment application (which is clearly not the case here)

2. a compelling report of fraud by the USC petitioner

Since he has his green card, but is in conditional status since we were not married for two years when he got here, all that happens for him next is applying to remove the conditional status at the end of being here two years, right? What happens to him if I end up declaring bankruptcy (entirely possible between his ability to keep spending money though he isn't supplying any and supporting our son) and can no longer meet the demands of the I-864??? Would he have to find a new sponsor (his brother has been here for over a year already).

No, I don't think so! My feeling is that bankruptcy would not alleviate you from a court order to pay a sum of money to a government agency as a result of the responsibility you are obliged to under the terms of the Affidavit of Support. In bankruptcy proceedings, an applicant can reduce certain debt ~ dischargeable debts. Some debt is not dischargeable. You'd have to speak with a bankruptcy attorney to double check, but I would sense that the US government would be considered "secured" and/or "first priority" debt.

Meeting the demands of the I-864 is not a choice, it's a requirement for you.

Well, if I end up having to declare bankruptcy, I will most likely lose my job and won't have the money to support him anyway and my mother certainly isn't going to let him move into her home if I have to move back to her house via losing my house...

Don't get ahead of yourself! I can't imagine how stressful and scary this must be for you, but imagining losing your house and your job (bankruptcy isn't fun, but it doesn't require being fired) isn't going to help.

mermaid and rjo have covered most of it in their posts, but I wanted to point out a couple things that often get overlooked:

1) The I-864 only binds you for reimbursing the government for certain types of cash-equivalent benefits. The FAQs on this site get into more detail, but it does not encompass everything we think of as 'welfare.'

2) There have been a couple of court cases that have concluded that the USC can be on the hook for poverty-level equivalent support, and that the LPR doesn't have to show an attempt to get work. (There are good reasons for this, but it does sound counterintuitive.) But that would require a court order, and for a judge to decide that the precedent in the earlier case applied to you. It is still a legitimate worry, but you can't conclude from a couple of court cases that he himself has a slam-dunk case for support.

An attorney might be helpful here.