trust issues

[In Gods Hands 0]

That's all I'm sayin'. My husband will be the first one to say that it's wrong of him to take money, but when you're in a situation where you are being ousted from your place and you have zippo funds to move and none of your friends have any cash on hand then I think if your wife offers $100 you should take it and forget about the culture thing for now, and it's not grounds for divorce in Islam to take it as I have shown above.

yep, yep.. I agree with that

[doodlebug 3]

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

Just havin' fun!

Edited November 14, 2007 by doodlebug

[peezey 0]

The reality is people will tell themselves what ever they have to to make themselves feel o.k. with what they choose to do. You never know about someone else, really, until they break your trust. Just becasuse you give money or they ask does not mean anything. Either a person is honorable or they are not and you will find out in the end. Just do not be too naive.

This is exactly the point. I think a muslim man not only asking but accepting a woman's money has a long way to go to prove his credibility.

So the Prophet Mohammed, pbuh, had a long way to go to prove his credibility??

Uh, yeah, he did take quite a long time to prove himself now, didn't he? And his wife chose to do what she wanted, but now that we are in 2007 and no longer need $1 to finance a small herd, some people clearly need a reality check here. PBUH wouldn't think too highly of most, if not all, of what goes on in these relationships, IMO.

[doodlebug 3]

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

FYI, Ganja_Girl, Muslim women can and do give men money. Khadijah, the Prophet's first wife, was his employer; she married below her social status when she married him, and financed his mission with her own money. Not to mention, their large age gap, 15 years, for those who are also hung up on that. There is precedent for a lot of things we otherwise think are beneath us, and Allah has put no barrier between a woman helping a man financially, should she choose to do so.

No one said muslim women can't choose what to do with their money, but invoking Khadija time and again conveniently skips the fact that a muslim man is to take care of his family and if he doesn't, it is grounds for divorce.

And this is not just confined to Muslim men, my husband is a Copt and he would be horrified if I ever tried to give him money. Much less ask for it. Seems like some of these men finally had their ships come in

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

[JODO 2]

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

Just havin' fun!

Ya me too because some of this stuff is truly hilarious

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

NO but perhaps he was by your husband's Herman Monster face But then again you buy your men, so it is not like you really have any standards.

[peezey 0]

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

Anyone who refuses to get married when they aren't feeling it should get a freakin' award.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

FYI, Ganja_Girl, Muslim women can and do give men money. Khadijah, the Prophet's first wife, was his employer; she married below her social status when she married him, and financed his mission with her own money. Not to mention, their large age gap, 15 years, for those who are also hung up on that. There is precedent for a lot of things we otherwise think are beneath us, and Allah has put no barrier between a woman helping a man financially, should she choose to do so.

No one said muslim women can't choose what to do with their money, but invoking Khadija time and again conveniently skips the fact that a muslim man is to take care of his family and if he doesn't, it is grounds for divorce.

And this is not just confined to Muslim men, my husband is a Copt and he would be horrified if I ever tried to give him money. Much less ask for it. Seems like some of these men finally had their ships come in

well......Doodlebug has a husband in ap since July and you guys have your man here... If she is feeling extra sensitive, I wouldnt blame her. I sure as hell am with no NOa2 and god knows how long nvc will take..

We are actually trying to hang in there waiting for our husbands to get here. It would not be that hard to be sensitive to doodlebug considering you guys already have your men here...

I dont know about the rest of you.. but USCIS is hell and it sure doesnt help when people are nasty on here... For any reason,,,especially when their journey is over and we are still in it...

Just a thought

[JODO 2]

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

Anyone who refuses to get married when they aren't feeling it should get a freakin' award.

Well sadly people who are desperate do not see that. Nevertheless we ARE HAPPILY TOGETHER now.

[Carolyn 1]

What's with the insults?

We all have different situations and different values about money. So be it. Stop judging.

[peezey 0]

That's all I'm sayin'. My husband will be the first one to say that it's wrong of him to take money, but when you're in a situation where you are being ousted from your place and you have zippo funds to move and none of your friends have any cash on hand then I think if your wife offers $100 you should take it and forget about the culture thing for now, and it's not grounds for divorce in Islam to take it as I have shown above.

Um, this is like a kid who hits someone and then says "I'm sorry" the second the punch is thrown. If he's taking money he can't think it's all that wrong. Your husband hasn't had a major change in finances since he's met you, right? So he's probably met this situation before. What did he used to do without you?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

Just havin' fun!

Ya me too because some of this stuff is truly hilarious

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

NO but perhaps he was by your husband's Herman Monster face But then again you buy your men, so it is not like you really have any standards.

I have never thought this......but if you do not have something kind and encouraging to say or good advice.... and your man is here already... and you arent in the middle of these trials and tribulations

You need to get your ### off the boards. What you said to doodle was uncalled for to begin with...

And here you are with your husband here... Can't you be a little compassionate?

WHATS WRONG WITH PEOPLE ON HERE?

[doodlebug 3]

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

Just havin' fun!

Ya me too because some of this stuff is truly hilarious

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

NO but perhaps he was by your husband's Herman Monster face But then again you buy your men, so it is not like you really have any standards.

don't you have some muslim bashing news article to post in OP?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Italy and Spain are full of illegals from Morocco. Theycant get a work permit so they work in the streets selling ####### and CD's/ They live six to a room....kinda of reminds me of the illegals here.

He couldnt even use the Consulate there is he wanted to.

you fell for a street vendor??

Sheesh....

Anyway, I agree with Carolyn. No, I never sent any money to my husband before he came here, and he didn't ask. But if he'd needed help with something, I would have. We're partners in all things. I think paying someone's rent is a bit much, but if there is an emergency, of course you're going to help. And when we traveled together in his country before he came here, I paid for it. He made about $200 a month, so after helping his mother with the house expenses, food, etc, he really only had enough to pay for his prepaid cell phone and occasionally go out for a cup of coffee.

When you're together, you're together, and your finances are joined. His family is my family, and if they need something we're going to help. I wouldn't make a blanket statement saying that someone asking for money is a "red flag."

Not everyone believes this, and in fact, is not the way of Islam. The man is supposed to support his family and the woman chooses what to do with her money. This idea of comingled finances is a western one, and an American one, really.

The ayah sbout men supporting their family is conditional, not absolute, peezey. The Prophet allowed poor men to marry as long as there was agreement between the man and hos intended as to how they would manage their issues. In fact, the Prophet didn't support his own family financially alone. Several of his wives worked to support the household, and he died poor. I know that invoking the Prophet's Sunnah is inconvenient for you, but the fact is, you know little about Islam, and even less about how to apply ayat to early Muslim history and the Prophet's example which places commands in context.

The reality is people will tell themselves what ever they have to to make themselves feel o.k. with what they choose to do. You never know about someone else, really, until they break your trust. Just becasuse you give money or they ask does not mean anything. Either a person is honorable or they are not and you will find out in the end. Just do not be too naive.

This is exactly the point. I think a muslim man not only asking but accepting a woman's money has a long way to go to prove his credibility.

So the Prophet Mohammed, pbuh, had a long way to go to prove his credibility??

For some, that seems to be so.

FYI, Ganja_Girl, Muslim women can and do give men money. Khadijah, the Prophet's first wife, was his employer; she married below her social status when she married him, and financed his mission with her own money. Not to mention, their large age gap, 15 years, for those who are also hung up on that. There is precedent for a lot of things we otherwise think are beneath us, and Allah has put no barrier between a woman helping a man financially, should she choose to do so.

No one said muslim women can't choose what to do with their money, but invoking Khadija time and again conveniently skips the fact that a muslim man is to take care of his family and if he doesn't, it is grounds for divorce.

It is not always grounds for divorce. You simply don't know what you're talking about then you speak about Islam, peezey. Frankly, as an atheist, you have no basis upon which to claim authority regarding this subject.

[peezey 0]

well......Doodlebug has a husband in ap since July and you guys have your man here... If she is feeling extra sensitive, I wouldnt blame her. I sure as hell am with no NOa2 and god knows how long nvc will take..

We are actually trying to hang in there waiting for our husbands to get here. It would not be that hard to be sensitive to doodlebug considering you guys already have your men here...

I dont know about the rest of you.. but USCIS is hell and it sure doesnt help when people are nasty on here... For any reason,,,especially when their journey is over and we are still in it...

Just a thought

Just a thought, if people have time to post, then the "she's been waiting a long time" card doesn't get played. And other people don't need to feel guilty that their husbands are here. Everyone waited.

[JODO 2]

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

Just havin' fun!

Ya me too because some of this stuff is truly hilarious

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

NO but perhaps he was by your husband's Herman Monster face But then again you buy your men, so it is not like you really have any standards.

don't you have some muslim bashing news article to post in OP?

WoW Have you taken all of your meds tonight? I know there is a long litany,but you probably should not log on without it.