Sending THE Visa...

[babybunny 2]

Shon, I hope you're proud of yourself... by bringing religion into this you've effectively turned nearly everyone here against Islam!!!! You're correct that Islam does give the responsibility of taking care of the family to the man (as it should be, not going to get into my opinions on this here but if someone wants to start another thread about this I'll come by and check it out) BUT you're forgetting that when a woman decides to give of her own money to her family it's considered and rewarded as charity... and charity is one of the pillars of this religion!!!! And BTW, the marriage contract and dowry are in place to protect us women in marriages NOT to take advantage of our men!

Everyone else, please don't judge Islam based on the rantings of this person.

Iceyspots, it seems if there are not many places that accept Visa there then it might not be worth the effort to get him one. Have you looked into Western Union? I don't know how much it would cost coming from the states but when Yousuf sends me money from Libya he only has to pay like $2 for every $100 he sends. I haven't tried to send him anything so I don't know how it works from here. (And I haven't sent him anything because he makes more money than I do NOT because I find it offensive to send money to my man!!!) Or maybe just wiring it directly to his bank account? One person said something about paypal but I know paypal is not available in all countries so that might not work either. I'm sorry it's so hard for you to do this Do they have ATMs there? I know there were lots of ATMs in Egypt when I visited but that's a tourist location and I haven't traveled much anywhere else.

I did not turn anyone away from islam! that is a strong statement!

[almaty 19]

hmmmm.. another typical day at vj i see...as the thread turns

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Veiledprincesslayla.... good point about the Visa card. I had trouble finding businesses that would accept a Visa or MasterCard in the West Bank... most hotels, shops and restaurants were just not set up for credit cards or travelers' checks. However, some (not all) banks had an ATM.... they are fairly common in cities like Ramallah and Bethlehem that get a lot of foreign visitors, but I even found them in such "un-touristy" places as Jenin.

-MK

[denali_1963 0]

I thought the dowry was for woman from these poor countries as a protection in case of divorce since woman usually stay at home and take care of their homes in these countries. If the man divorces them then they have some kind of support. I was offered this but didn't ask for nothing becouse i have a job and can take care of myself. But i really don't like the fact you can say 3 times ( i divorce thee) and be divorced just like that. Maybe that protects them from divorce also cuss they may not say so quickly if they have to pay her.

[~Jackie~ 30]

I am very late coming to this thread, but I want to add my 2 cents. My husband and I were apart for 2 years waiting for his visa. In this time I sent him many money transactions thru Western Union. We are both Muslim and alhamdulillah I had the ability to share OUR money with him. We are both well aware that the man supports the wife, but during the immigration process, what was the wrong in me helping him be more comfortable in his country?

How could I have sat down to a nice meal here, knowing he was eating chips and a Bebsi from the little store across the street from his cafe?

Now that he is here and working, he takes very good care of me. Did I quit my job to let him support me 100%? Heck no! We want the good things in life and that requires us to both work.

Jackie

[MrMrsKnight 0]

typing fast I am at the office

BSing and getting paid!

Isn't that called stealing from your employer?

I wouldn't go that far....... lots of people on VJ do that!

My friend got one of those Visa Gift cards. it was usless.

apprently she could not use it at the ATM, or Western Union.

she said it was stressed that because, it was not linked to any bank account. she could not withdraw the funds. however, some Visa Gift cards do allow you to get a refund. it normally takes 6 weeks to get the money back and $15.00 fee. this depends on the bank. but, my friends bank would not let her get a refund.

I think if you'd said that to begin with we wouldn't have had a 19 page thread!

Edited April 16, 2006 by MrMrsKnight

[goldenheart 0]

LuvaLimey,

A dowry or mahr is a gift given to the wife by the husband. The dowry does not have a set monetary value, however the man must provide a gift within his means. For an example, in the Christian community, the man gives his wife an engagement ring and wedding band to symbolize the circle of love that is shared between the two, therefore the ring would be considered a dowry. In Islam, the man will give his wife a gift to symbolize his appreciation for her accepting to marry him. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO SYMBOLIZE HIS OWNERSHIP OF THE WOMAN. For in Islam, we are all creatures of God and the man does not have ownership upon his woman. When a wife perform her daily prayers she pray to God and not her husband. According to the Koran, once you are married the man has a "responsibility" to provide maintanance (food, clothing, and shelter) for his wife. Also in Islam, the woman's money is "HERS" the man is forbidden to touch his wife money, however the wife is free to do as she well with her finance, to include sharing it with her husband. It is not a sin to provide money to your husband, actually, it is a form of charity. What charity is greatly accepted to God than the charity to improve the well-being of your family?

Unfortunately, I believe this entire thread has gotten out of line. We waste so much time and energy to bash and insult one another. I think the intend of this site is to assist one another through the most difficult times. I will be the first to say,"THIS SITE HAS COMFORT ME IN WAYS YOU WILL NOT KNOW" . However, today I did not receive that comfort. I think we should squash this thread and move on.

P.s. If I misspelled any words I apologize.

I still want to know how this dowry thing works:

How does a dowry work? Do you have to pay it back if the marriage fails within a certain amount of time, or is it a one-shot deal?

I mean... maybe I could make a lot of money getting married to a bunch of guys.

Isn't that how prostitution is justified in some countries? They pay the woman to be their "wife" for the night? Getting hitched and then anulling it the next morning?

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

I am very late coming to this thread, but I want to add my 2 cents. My husband and I were apart for 2 years waiting for his visa. In this time I sent him many money transactions thru Western Union. We are both Muslim and alhamdulillah I had the ability to share OUR money with him. We are both well aware that the man supports the wife, but during the immigration process, what was the wrong in me helping him be more comfortable in his country?

How could I have sat down to a nice meal here, knowing he was eating chips and a Bebsi from the little store across the street from his cafe?

Now that he is here and working, he takes very good care of me. Did I quit my job to let him support me 100%? Heck no! We want the good things in life and that requires us to both work.

Jackie

without a doubt, shonjaved has missed the boat completely about what marriage and relationships are about. i cannot believe for one second that anyone will be so selfish as to delay the process of being with their beloved due to some cultural or religious beliefs, yet shonjaved has displayed that it's all about the money in her case. shame on her.

[luvaLimey 0]

My friend got one of those Visa Gift cards. it was usless.

apprently she could not use it at the ATM, or Western Union.

she said it was stressed that because, it was not linked to any bank account. she could not withdraw the funds. however, some Visa Gift cards do allow you to get a refund. it normally takes 6 weeks to get the money back and $15.00 fee. this depends on the bank. but, my friends bank would not let her get a refund.

I agree Shon, the gift cards usually have a lot more restrictions on how/where they can be used than a prepaid (reusable) credit card, or a debit card.

Prepaid credit cards can also be restricted, however so if she was to choose that option, I think the OP would want to verify with the issuing bank that the card would have cash access. When I worked for a credit card company, I worked in the corporate card department, and some companies would issue prepaid cards to theior stores (like the Gap, or Old Navy) as a sort of rewards program for them meetign their sales goals, or something. The stores could then use those cards at restaurants or to order pizza for everyone, stuff like that: but they didn't allow any cash access, and there was never a PIN issued for those cards.

Dillards, on the other hand, issued a bunch of prepaid credit cards to their employees who had been affected by hurricane Katrina as a way to help them meet their basic needs. These cards not only were set up with cash access, but the company had asked us (the issuing bank) to bypass some of the necessary security checks and proceedures in order to allow cardholders to be able to call in and set up their own PIN over the phone so they could use those funds immediately rather than having to wait for one to be sent through the mail (some places in the disaster area weren't getting mail for months).

Still, a debit card tied to a bank account may be the easiest way to go. And if she could somehow manage to set her hubby up as a joint holder of the account, he'd already have a US bank account with his name on it when he gets here.

I worked in Malaysia for 4 months a few years ago. My paycheck was issued in the US, and direct-deposited into my US bank account. I had a Visa debit card tied to that account that I could use at any ATM with a Visa logo displayed. I could also use it at any POS device that displayed that logo. There were a lot of places in KL that only took cash, but it was easy enough to get out a few hundred rigitt a couple times a week for groceries and spending cash. We lived right accross the street from KLCC, so there were more than enough nearby ATMs.

[luvaLimey 0]

LuvaLimey,

A dowry or mahr is a gift given to the wife by the husband. The dowry does not have a set monetary value, however the man must provide a gift within his means. For an example, in the Christian community, the man gives his wife an engagement ring and wedding band to symbolize the circle of love that is shared between the two, therefore the ring would be considered a dowry. In Islam, the man will give his wife a gift to symbolize his appreciation for her accepting to marry him. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO SYMBOLIZE HIS OWNERSHIP OF THE WOMAN. For in Islam, we are all creatures of God and the man does not have ownership upon his woman. When a wife perform her daily prayers she pray to God and not her husband. According to the Koran, once you are married the man has a "responsibility" to provide maintanance (food, clothing, and shelter) for his wife. Also in Islam, the woman's money is "HERS" the man is forbidden to touch his wife money, however the wife is free to do as she well with her finance, to include sharing it with her husband. It is not a sin to provide money to your husband, actually, it is a form of charity. What charity is greatly accepted to God than the charity to improve the well-being of your family?

Unfortunately, I believe this entire thread has gotten out of line. We waste so much time and energy to bash and insult one another. I think the intend of this site is to assist one another through the most difficult times. I will be the first to say,"THIS SITE HAS COMFORT ME IN WAYS YOU WILL NOT KNOW" . However, today I did not receive that comfort. I think we should squash this thread and move on.

P.s. If I misspelled any words I apologize.

Thank you so much for answering my question. That clears up a lot of confusion I had about the issue, especially the way it was being discussed earlier. It makes sense, comparing it to the giving of an engagement ring. I know very very many people who expect an engagement ring as though it were their right.

People have formulas and expectations as to how big/expensive the ring has to be. In my opinion, a lot of it is just silly.

(I'm engaged, and no, I don't have one... and I honestly don't expect one - a wedding ring will do once we're hitched, and that's something we can give each other)

[iceyspots 0]

LuvaLimey,

A dowry or mahr is a gift given to the wife by the husband. The dowry does not have a set monetary value, however the man must provide a gift within his means. For an example, in the Christian community, the man gives his wife an engagement ring and wedding band to symbolize the circle of love that is shared between the two, therefore the ring would be considered a dowry. In Islam, the man will give his wife a gift to symbolize his appreciation for her accepting to marry him. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO SYMBOLIZE HIS OWNERSHIP OF THE WOMAN. For in Islam, we are all creatures of God and the man does not have ownership upon his woman. When a wife perform her daily prayers she pray to God and not her husband. According to the Koran, once you are married the man has a "responsibility" to provide maintanance (food, clothing, and shelter) for his wife. Also in Islam, the woman's money is "HERS" the man is forbidden to touch his wife money, however the wife is free to do as she well with her finance, to include sharing it with her husband. It is not a sin to provide money to your husband, actually, it is a form of charity. What charity is greatly accepted to God than the charity to improve the well-being of your family?

Unfortunately, I believe this entire thread has gotten out of line. We waste so much time and energy to bash and insult one another. I think the intend of this site is to assist one another through the most difficult times. I will be the first to say,"THIS SITE HAS COMFORT ME IN WAYS YOU WILL NOT KNOW" . However, today I did not receive that comfort. I think we should squash this thread and move on.

P.s. If I misspelled any words I apologize.

I still want to know how this dowry thing works:

How does a dowry work? Do you have to pay it back if the marriage fails within a certain amount of time, or is it a one-shot deal?

I mean... maybe I could make a lot of money getting married to a bunch of guys.

Isn't that how prostitution is justified in some countries? They pay the woman to be their "wife" for the night? Getting hitched and then anulling it the next morning?

good post...

Cause this is the thread that doesnt enddddd and it goes on and on my friend

[Fuzzness 2]

are we trying for a record here?

[iceyspots 0]

are we trying for a record here?

I think if she doesnt stop, the masses wont either.. lol

[Fuzzness 2]

are we trying for a record here?

I think if she doesnt stop, the masses wont either.. lol

pis elle ne va pas arreter, c'est l'affaire du dernier mot. tu sais?

[babybunny 2]

without a doubt, shonjaved has missed the boat completely about what marriage and relationships are about. i cannot believe for one second that anyone will be so selfish as to delay the process of being with their beloved due to some cultural or religious beliefs, yet shonjaved has displayed that it's all about the money in her case. shame on her.

NEVER did I say my case is delayed because of money? where in the world did you get that from? you think I would not want my husband by my side in the USA? you have no idea how I perceive what "marriage and relationships are about"