Interesting Read for the Moderators

[Captain Ewok 1,900]

I agree on the issue of flamming towards new and old members alike. If you see members being flamed report the thread to me please.

[Fandango 1,440]

Steven,

Quit trying to get me banned. Just because I bully you with my superior wit and charming looks doesn't mean you need to bring our rivalry to this forum.

I sincerely don't want to see anyone banned here...really. But I also don't want to see people leave here because some people, especially members who've been here awhile, can't extend the kind of courtesy and respect to newer members. I'm hopeful that with the help of the moderators, we can keep in check those who tend to feel an incessant need to go beyond just disagreeing, who actually ridicule others' opinions.

But at the same time, you lolled and to Bassi and Zainab's complete misinterpretation at my post. I am assuming here that you knew full well when I said 'Steven' I was addressing you...yet you lolled at this poster's total overreaction in thinking I was somehow insulting her. Would it have been so hard to say 'she was talking to me' or something similar to diffuse and clarify the situation instead of the 'you go girl'esque response you gave? Think about it.

At the same time, I think that poster's response to what I said is a perfect example of how text...as it's so one dimensional...is easy to misinterpret...and feelings can get hurt when absolutely none were intended.

Lisa, stop being such a bully!

Get back to work!

[Mags 112]

Excellent post Steven. Bullying DOES hurt people, whether in real life or online. And we are ALL people.

Hopefully the moderators will pay more attention to it, who is doing it on a regular basis and nip in the bud before we lose more members or they stop posting.

I'm just going to clarify something here because I don't think everyone has grasped exactly what the moderators jobs are around here.

We do NOT police the board (this fact is in the TOS for those who wish to have a look). We act on PMs sent to us and on anything we may come across on our general travels around the place. If you, a member, sees something that you do not like, whether this be attitude, a TOS violation or anything else that you feel needs attention then the onus is on YOU, the member, to let US know about it.

NEVER assume that we have seen it, never assume that we are not acting or that we condone that kind of behaviour. Instead PM us with the link and show us where the problem is. That is the only way you can ever assume that we've seen the potential problem. So, it isn't a case of "the moderators not paying enough attention" it is more a case of the members needing to be more pro-active and aiding the moderators.

Edited November 7, 2007 by Mags

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Excellent post Steven. Bullying DOES hurt people, whether in real life or online. And we are ALL people.

Hopefully the moderators will pay more attention to it, who is doing it on a regular basis and nip in the bud before we lose more members or they stop posting.

I'm just going to clarify something here because I don't think everyone has grasped exactly what the moderators jobs are around here.

We do NOT police the board (this fact is in the TOS for those who wish to have a look). We act on PMs sent to us and on anything we may come across on our general travels around the place. If you, a member, sees something that you do not like, whether this be attitude, a TOS violation or anything else that you feel needs attention then the onus is on YOU, the member, to let US know about it.

NEVER assume that we have seen it, never assume that we are not acting or that we condone that kind of behaviour. Instead PM us with the link and show us where the problem is. That is the only way you can ever assume that we've seen the potential problem. So, it isn't a case of "the moderators not paying enough attention" it is more a case of the members needing to be more pro-active and aiding the moderators.

It was an informative read and quite accurate, IMO. I don't think it takes policing the boards to effectively moderate those members who fit the description.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

It is amazing how some of the poster in this thread already fit the discription.... but of course they would never see themselves as bully's it just that others always misinterprate the meaning of there posts.... how many people does it take to read a post and be offended before the poster stops and thinks about the way they write their posts that makes all these people think they are being flamed....

And So it will continue....

Kez

[Fandango 1,440]

It is amazing how some of the poster in this thread already fit the discription.... but of course they would never see themselves as bully's it just that others always misinterprate the meaning of there posts.... how many people does it take to read a post and be offended before the poster stops and thinks about the way they write their posts that makes all these people think they are being flamed....

And So it will continue....

Kez

If you're referring to me and the misinterpretation of my post earlier, that is really quite unfair and inaccurate...I'm not Monday morning qb'ing a 'oops you misunderstood'...clearly it says 'Steven' in my post, and I quoted and referred to a post of his.

Therefore I was referring to him, and not the other poster.

If you were not referring to me, then my bad! But I'm the only one who's claimed a 'misinterpretation' here, so I'm pretty sure that's what you're skirting around. Which is a bit unfair if you ask me. We cannot always prevent everyone on this site getting offended...

If people have complaints about someone, report it if it's so bad...don't just complain about it in a thread under a shroud of generality about 'some people'. The mods don't need 'schooling' and the wheel doesn't need any reinventing.

[Jenn! 918]

It is amazing how some of the poster in this thread already fit the discription.... but of course they would never see themselves as bully's it just that others always misinterprate the meaning of there posts.... how many people does it take to read a post and be offended before the poster stops and thinks about the way they write their posts that makes all these people think they are being flamed....

And So it will continue....

Kez

[Mags 112]

Excellent post Steven. Bullying DOES hurt people, whether in real life or online. And we are ALL people.

Hopefully the moderators will pay more attention to it, who is doing it on a regular basis and nip in the bud before we lose more members or they stop posting.

I'm just going to clarify something here because I don't think everyone has grasped exactly what the moderators jobs are around here.

We do NOT police the board (this fact is in the TOS for those who wish to have a look). We act on PMs sent to us and on anything we may come across on our general travels around the place. If you, a member, sees something that you do not like, whether this be attitude, a TOS violation or anything else that you feel needs attention then the onus is on YOU, the member, to let US know about it.

NEVER assume that we have seen it, never assume that we are not acting or that we condone that kind of behaviour. Instead PM us with the link and show us where the problem is. That is the only way you can ever assume that we've seen the potential problem. So, it isn't a case of "the moderators not paying enough attention" it is more a case of the members needing to be more pro-active and aiding the moderators.

It was an informative read and quite accurate, IMO. I don't think it takes policing the boards to effectively moderate those members who fit the description.

But if we are not shown the posts where there is a problem it will continue. We don't follow certain members around reading their posts so, if they post something that you think crosses the line, take some bloody action and let us know. Don't whine about it and say "oh, why don't the mods do anything!" PM us, let us know, be pro-active. Some days I only have time to check my daily PMs and act on them, other days I am able to have a look around the board. If I am PMed though I WILL make an effort to do a clean up or a suspension or just a warning. That's a guarantee. If you don't PM me (or LaL) then these things WILL continue. Don't assume that someone else has PMed us either; we don't care if we have multiple PMs regarding the same thing.

To be honest I think some members LIKE to moan about the actions of others; it's easier to moan about it rather than actually do something about it themselves and PM a moderator. That's my POV anyway.

So, to clarify, if you want certain members to "behave", PM us a link to their posts and we'll have a look. If you don't, we won't know about it and can't act. If you want VJ to improve its attitude then everyone needs to play their part, not just depend on the mods to see every little thing (which is impossible). And that's really all I have to say on this as I've got to really go and do some painting. Bloody old houses.

[chri'stina 190]

I bet we all have our own ideas on who is a bully or not, because some that people consider a bully here I might not, and someone who I might consider a bully others might not. If someone is just very opinionated it does not = bully to me. I also think ppl are implying Lisa is a bully, but sorry I don't think so. She is just opinionated (no offense Lisa!) as are many of us on VJ. I see a bully as someone who also violates the TOS during their pushy posts. If I see that going on I would report it. If it's just ppls' clashing opinions and no TOS is violated, I wouldn't report it, it's just someone with a strong opinion. In the past I have misjudged people who had strong opinions thinking they were really rude, but they turned out to be really nice people who just had strong opinions.

[SteveLaura 0]

OK, so what I'm hearing is that the moderators act on PMS. That scares me enough to leave them alone & do their job. (Which you do very well. I'm going over here now. If that's OK. Thank you.)

[Mags 112]

OK, so what I'm hearing is that the moderators act on PMS. That scares me enough to leave them alone & do their job. (Which you do very well. I'm going over here now. If that's OK. Thank you.)

For 3 weeks of the month we are approachable.

Seriously though, we do look around the forums as much as we can, but due to the sheer size of them it is impossible to see every post, which is where members PMing us is so very important to help keep this site on track.

[chri'stina 190]

One more thing I could add, is that I don't really feel comfortable discussing all my political ideals on VJ, maybe some of them, but not all because I don't feel like getting backlash from others. I feel my political ideals are thought of as stupid by many here because I am more conservative on many many issues. So I can either get into a million debates(more like I used to) or just not worry about discussing my political ideas here as much anymore to avoid conflict/annoyance. I know people on the other side may even feel the same. I could say it's a sort of political bullying, but really it's just strong opinions.

OK, so what I'm hearing is that the moderators act on PMS. That scares me enough to leave them alone & do their job. (Which you do very well. I'm going over here now. If that's OK. Thank you.)

Edited November 7, 2007 by stina&suj

[jundp 191]

We don't have any of those here

I think those who would fit the bill would never understand or accept it anyway. That is evident.

There's being opinionated and then there's acting like a child who must constantly prove his/her point and use passive-aggressive tactics. And there is an awful lot of "ooh he made a joke and I get it but you don't so you can't join my club" behavior. It's annoying, juvenile, and clearly a bid for attention because something is missing IRL, but it's not bullying, IMHO.

I think overall VJ mods/admins are great at catching bullying or trolling and stopping it. The other behavior they can't do much about unless they spent every moment censoring people's posts. But we have to just accept that some people will act like that the same way they do in our daily lives.

I like to chuckle at those people, shake my head, wonder why they need such attention, and move on!

[LaL 418]

I just want to add something. At times, perhaps we have seen a particular item that one would wrinkle their nose at. As in myself or Mags were in the thread where the questionable post is made. PM us about it anyway, should you have a concern that the post was over the top. Perhaps we didnt see it specifically, are unfamiliar with usage, or a whole myriad of other things that could cause us to pass the post by. I assure you, we take member's concerns very seriously, and do our best to sort it out.

I can also say that it might not be the best form for a member to report a post to us only to have responded to it using an equally objectionable retort. Kinda takes the wind out of the sails of the objection, so to speak. B) That little analogy isn't just applicable to objectionable posts, but also to threads posted. Members have also heard us state that we are specifically *not* referees. Members themselves are responsible for what they type out and who is responded to.

I understand the expectation of members on what should be/should not be allowed, and we certainly try our best to mediate, however there is something to be said for personal responsibility as well. Treat each other as you wish to be treated

[rebeccajo 14]

One more thing I could add, is that I don't really feel comfortable discussing all my political ideals on VJ, maybe some of them, but not all because I don't feel like getting backlash from others. I feel my political ideals are thought of as stupid by many here because I am more conservative on many many issues. So I can either get into a million debates(more like I used to) or just not worry about discussing my political ideas here as much anymore to avoid conflict/annoyance. I know people on the other side may even feel the same. I could say it's a sort of political bullying, but really it's just strong opinions.

I guess I don't see a good political debate the same as 'bullying', unless people in the thread decide to start name-calling or insulting each other.

Edited November 7, 2007 by rebeccajo