Anyone had a child follow later?

[Udella&Wiz 325]

1 more topic for tonight? Has anyone had their child follow a few months afterwards? In particular, did anyone have a cranky teenager who just didn't want to come?

My almost 16 yr old is putting up one hell of a fight since the interview. She's normally spirited, but this is beyond amazing how much she's in denial about moving. Any thoughts? Please don't remind me that I'm ruining her life....we've been down that road a few times lately, but she thinks I don't understand

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I don't have any advice for you hon but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry.

I hope that you and your daughter can resolve this with as much ease and little heartache as possible.

Best of luck

[BH45 0]

I hear you. We haven't gone for our interview yet, but my 13 year old is in dire straights. I'm ruining her life. She seems to think she should be able to decide at the age of 16 where she will live. I've already put a halt on those thoughts. She will be following me. I'm going to leave her here to graduate from grade 8 with her friends. Besides I'm planning on having a church wedding here June 28, 2008.

I'm praying that she will come to see the benefits and possibilities that we've opened up for her. She will have the option of attending college either in Canada or the USA. There a many opportunities for her.

Please let our daughters see that after we've moved. Hope everything works out for you.

Edited November 3, 2007 by BH45

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I hear you too - I imagined and hoped/ prayed that she would come to see the benefits - especially considering that she wants to go to college in the US in a couple years anyway. But she has a particular group of friend who she clings to and is desparate to be with.

Most disturbing, I've learned that 1 friend's parents may have actually offered to let her live there because they believe her sob story. I am so angry I could spit that someone who I don't even know is doing something to undermine my parental authority. I'm thinking of filling them in on the full story, but unfortunately they do not speak english at all so I need to have my dad along to be the translator. We'll see how that goes.

I think she's had me all to herself for so long that she just hasn't been able to come to terms with the fact that she has to share me and the move just combounds things

As the stomach turns.........

[BH45 0]

I hear you too - I imagined and hoped/ prayed that she would come to see the benefits - especially considering that she wants to go to college in the US in a couple years anyway. But she has a particular group of friend who she clings to and is desparate to be with.

Most disturbing, I've learned that 1 friend's parents may have actually offered to let her live there because they believe her sob story. I am so angry I could spit that someone who I don't even know is doing something to undermine my parental authority. I'm thinking of filling them in on the full story, but unfortunately they do not speak english at all so I need to have my dad along to be the translator. We'll see how that goes.

I think she's had me all to herself for so long that she just hasn't been able to come to terms with the fact that she has to share me and the move just combounds things

As the stomach turns.........

My daughter has had me to herself for the past 10 years. Now she has to share me with 3 other ppl. She seems to think that they will take me away from her. I've done my best and continue to reassure her that we will still have "our" time together to do things - shop, go to movies, or just be together.

I've had quite a few of her friends parents tell me that she can stay with them. She tells me that she can stay with ppl...my answer to her is - "You are my daughter. You have two choices of where to live - with me or your dad. No other place." I know that isn't what she wants to hear but she also knows that when she turns 18 she can come back here if she wants. Until then, it's my rules and my way. Sorry baby girl.

[wally 0]

my 16 year old daughter did not want to move with me and my son right away, she was mid-semester in grade 11. So I allowed her to stay behind but made sure she didn't have the same comforts of my home, that is, I boarded her with friends. She had to prepare most of her own meals and her own laundry, get herself to school and around town etc... all I did was give her some cash when needed. All during this time I told her repeatedly that we missed her and she needed to be with her mother. But I never demanded that she come. And it did help that my friends thought she should also move to us. During the break between semesters, she told me she was ready...that day I bought a flight for me to go get her and a flight for her to come back. She was here within a week. It was months later when she admitted that she missed us terribly.

Is she all that happy here? She's coming up on Removing Conditions and she's glad that she's here with us but it's been a tough transition.

And oh yeah, don't be like us and have her enter too far away from your entry date...we moved in Oct and she moved in Feb. We have to file a whole other petition for her to Remove Conditions and pay the whole fee again.

[raymaga 25]

My 17-year old daughter followed me more than a year later. I also thought her coming to the U.S. would give her more opportunities for college and work for the rest of her life.

She did miss her friends in Canada when she first got here, but has made many new friends here, especially through college and work. I think she actually prefers living here now, even though she misses her Dad and 2 brothers in Canada.

I am about to send in her Removal of Conditions application, and will have to pay for her separately, as I applied for my 10-yr GC last year.

Our biggest problem is that my husband (her step-dad) is not that fond of her living here with us, because he says they are "two different people" and he doesn't like her sometimes "snotty" girl attitude. She has never been rude to him, they have never had any arguments or disagreements, but he doesn't like how she talks to me sometimes. I am anxiously awaiting her transferring to university to finish her B.Sc. degree in a little more than a year from now.

Just be prepared for the usual teenage stuff when she does arrive!!!!!

Good luck.