Lengthy visits while waiting

[Rob & Jin 0]

I am brand new to this forum and am on the verge of filing for the K1 with my Canandian boyfriend and have been doing a lot of reading here first. This website is extremely helpful and I am anxiously awaiting completing the first round of paperwork (I'm the USC) and sending it off... just so I can wait more.... LOL

Anyway, I see lots of question about visiting each other during the waiting process. I understand the safe way to visit each other, especially with him coming here to California and am glad I have these tips. But we can barely do more than long weekends to visit each other since we both work and maintain homes. How are others getting the time and money to visit for 30, 60 or even 90 days? I know legally UK and Canadians can visit easily for long periods of time legally, but how are people doing it time and money wise? Maybe this is too private of a subject but I'm wondering if people who can do the very long stays do not need to work (i.e. wealthy), are students between semesters, unemployed, working legally in the others country, student in the others country, etc.? We have been wracking our brains to be able to spend more time together (we currently see each other once per month for a long weekend alternating locations) and it's just so short. Not to mention we don't *really* know what it would be like to live together. But in order for him to come here he'd have to quit his job and sell his home to have funds to live here since he could not legally work here yet, but as we know he needs that tie of home and job to show he has ties back home. And I cannot quit my job here to go there for a long period of time.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts we've had and don't know how others manage such long visits. Oooooh, dreaming of the day we can spend more than 3 or 4 nights together....

Thanks for your input!

Amy

p.s. I don't have a timeline yet....soon...

The simple answer is if you can both afford it, and your fiancee lives in a country that they can even get a tourist or business visa to travel here. Many dont even have this choice so its just 1 way visits and saving the money and vacation time to do it.

I realise its hard for everyone, but if you are seeing eachother every month, you are among the lucky few already. I guess there is still 2 worlds the rich west and the developing world, if your fiancee comes from the developing countries is a very different ball game.

[Meridien 0]

Hi Merdien! My boyfriend is in Alberta and I know that is considered western Canada. So that means his processing is through Vancouver too? That's good news! Although I'm in CA and he's in Alberta the flights are not so long but so darn expensive. I can fly to the UK fo cheaper than I can into Edmonton. Geesh! LOL He is trying to work out something with work and his sister near Calgary (to rent from her if his home sells early) and his house to have an extended stay here in late winter/early spring. He's in the same boat as you with the house to sell and then using proceeds while waiting and spending more time here. I was LOL at your comment about being a whole different country, my boyfriend and I alway make jokes about "you Canadians" and "you Americans" and I get a kick out of saying I have an international boyfriend. LOL But we are not so different at all!

Hi RumRunner! I'm in Alberta as well (Calgary), so yes your boyfriends interview will be at the Vancouver consulate. This is good news, as from what I've read in the forums, the Montreal consulate is taking months to schedule interviews - so going through Vancouver could take 2-3 months off your wait time.

I know what you mean about those flights - all these darn flights to Michigan cost more than flights to Europe! But, always good to remember that we're the lucky ones. I really feel bad for all the fiance(e)s living in countries that require visitors visas to come to the US - as most of them will not be able to visit at all.

[Daly 0]

How are others getting the time and money to visit for 30, 60 or even 90 days? I know legally UK and Canadians can visit easily for long periods of time legally, but how are people doing it time and money wise? Maybe this is too private of a subject but I'm wondering if people who can do the very long stays do not need to work (i.e. wealthy), are students between semesters, unemployed, working legally in the others country, student in the others country, etc.?

Well, early on in my relationship with my fiancee we only got to see each other once a year for usually 1-4 months during the summer when university's out. As for money, I just shopped around for cheap flights, signed up for frequent flyer stuff and also set up a "California or Bust" fund to accept as a gift instead of actual xmas or birthday gifts. XD. But, can't do that anymore since I'm not a desperate university student anymore, and that means less time. The last time I visited him was only for 1 1/2 weeks.

But I understand what you mean about being able to visit with jobs and life in general getting in the way. He has the full-time job and can't visit me until he gets enough for a week (february most likely...booo) and I'm almost certain I'm gonna get grilled again at the airport by US officials and this time possibly turned away, so it's all on him. I guess the best thing to do would be to save up some vacation time and piggy back it with a mandatory vacation period, like a july shutdown or xmas/new year's.

[jundp 191]

Well, I'm a high school teacher, so I get 2 weeks at Christmas, a week in February, a week in April and 2 weeks June, all of July and 2 weeks of August. P is in graduate school and Germans like their vacation time. Even though I'm the one with the "real" job (he works for the uni), he has less expenses than I do so I have only made the trip to Germany 2 times. He's been here 3 times, the last time for 6 weeks. I'll go there in Christmas for 2 weeks and he'll come here a week later and stay for another 5 weeks. He's working on his thesis and can do his actual work-work from anywhere with an internet connection, so he can work here.

Then we won't have any visits from February until he moves here in July. I feel very fortunate for all the time we've had together, but I still hate the thought of going 5 months without a visit. The only consolation is knowing that when he comes in July it will be for good. (We hope it's July!!!)

[RumRunner 0]

Yes, I do feel bad for those who have such a difficult time visiting each other. I wish everyone here luck and speed with their processing!

[Rail 0]

I visited her 2 months ago in Bogota and havnt been able to go back and it will be January before i can. It costs $750 roundtrip and is not outrageous but this time of year with Holidays it is. I made a mistake and told her that I would come in November then had to change to January. She cried for 2 days and yes I did too. Like the Sade song "I miss her like the deserts miss the rain".

Edited November 4, 2007 by Rail