Lengthy visits while waiting

[RumRunner 0]

I am brand new to this forum and am on the verge of filing for the K1 with my Canandian boyfriend and have been doing a lot of reading here first. This website is extremely helpful and I am anxiously awaiting completing the first round of paperwork (I'm the USC) and sending it off... just so I can wait more.... LOL

Anyway, I see lots of question about visiting each other during the waiting process. I understand the safe way to visit each other, especially with him coming here to California and am glad I have these tips. But we can barely do more than long weekends to visit each other since we both work and maintain homes. How are others getting the time and money to visit for 30, 60 or even 90 days? I know legally UK and Canadians can visit easily for long periods of time legally, but how are people doing it time and money wise? Maybe this is too private of a subject but I'm wondering if people who can do the very long stays do not need to work (i.e. wealthy), are students between semesters, unemployed, working legally in the others country, student in the others country, etc.? We have been wracking our brains to be able to spend more time together (we currently see each other once per month for a long weekend alternating locations) and it's just so short. Not to mention we don't *really* know what it would be like to live together. But in order for him to come here he'd have to quit his job and sell his home to have funds to live here since he could not legally work here yet, but as we know he needs that tie of home and job to show he has ties back home. And I cannot quit my job here to go there for a long period of time.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts we've had and don't know how others manage such long visits. Oooooh, dreaming of the day we can spend more than 3 or 4 nights together....

Thanks for your input!

Amy

p.s. I don't have a timeline yet....soon...

[*julez* 124]

We had 3 long visits because my UK fiance's company was bought out by another company. As a director in the company, he was let go with severance pay for 1 year, which allowed these visits. He'd love to come back for another visit since the petition approval is taking so long, but he was told last time he came to the US not to come back until he had a Visa! Ugh. Until then, short visits in Canada and a week for me to go to England in January. I am praying this will all be sorted by end of february. * delusional laugh*

[Dakine 26]

Consider yourself lucky!

Try having a mate in a distant country like the Philippines.

Not only expensive to visit but almost impossible for filipinos to visit the US even if you have the money to pay for it.

[john_and_marlene 162]

I made 4 trips to the Philippines in 2005 for a total of about 9 weeks. I get 6 weeks of vacation/year and I had unused vacation time from the previous year I was able to carry over to the following year. I did have to make other budget sacrifices to pay for the visits.

[LoriLawless 0]

We had 3 long visits because my UK fiance's company was bought out by another company. As a director in the company, he was let go with severance pay for 1 year, which allowed these visits. He'd love to come back for another visit since the petition approval is taking so long, but he was told last time he came to the US not to come back until he had a Visa! Ugh. Until then, short visits in Canada and a week for me to go to England in January. I am praying this will all be sorted by end of february. * delusional laugh*

Wow did they? How long were the visits?

Mine had just sold his company, so he was able to come for the Summer.

[raymaga 25]

We were very fortunate because I lived in Vancouver, B.C., and my fiance (now husband) lived in Seattle, WA., so we were only 3 hours away from each other. At first, we spent every single weekend together, either in Canada or in the U.S., and then, eventually, I stayed in the U.S. with him for a few months before our visa was approved.

I returned periodically to Canada to work (I was considered "casual" with the Fraser Health Authority and could pick when I wanted to work), but I kept my residence in Canada (my son still lived there until I left Canada). I had savings which helped me pay my expenses in Canada, and my fiance paid the expenses for us in the U.S.

[*julez* 124]

We had 3 long visits because my UK fiance's company was bought out by another company. As a director in the company, he was let go with severance pay for 1 year, which allowed these visits. He'd love to come back for another visit since the petition approval is taking so long, but he was told last time he came to the US not to come back until he had a Visa! Ugh. Until then, short visits in Canada and a week for me to go to England in January. I am praying this will all be sorted by end of february. * delusional laugh*

Wow did they? How long were the visits?

Mine had just sold his company, so he was able to come for the Summer.

Prior to the longer visits he'd had 3 shorter visits. There was an 8 month gap between the the last of the shorter visits and the beginning of the longer visits. The longer visits were 9 July 06 - 30 Sept. 06; 22 Nov. 06 - 9 Feb. 07 and 17 May 07 - 22 July 07.

[niceguy26 0]

Consider yourself lucky!

Try having a mate in a distant country like the Philippines.

Not only expensive to visit but almost impossible for filipinos to visit the US even if you have the money to pay for it.

yeah tell me about it

[RumRunner 0]

Aha! It seems the key is flexibility that people have with work. I think that is key for us to. I get only 3 weeks per year vacation and he gets two but his company is managed by a big ####### and it's difficult for him to take off other than weekends (despite having vacation days available). I could dig into savings for a long stay with him if I could get more than two weeks off at a time at work. Yes, we are lucky that he's in Canada and not somewhere that is more difficult to have visits. I can only imagine how much more difficult it is when you have to go many months between visits.

I sure do appreciate the input. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!

[SMOKE 1,426]

Consider yourself lucky!

Try having a mate in a distant country like the Philippines.

Not only expensive to visit but almost impossible for filipinos to visit the US even if you have the money to pay for it.

yeah tell me about it

yep, i'm going back at the end of the month...the cost doesn't bother me as much as the 14 hour flight from LA to Hong Kong...man i hate that leg of the trip!

[~Nini~ 2]

At the time, I was in college working towards my degree and had recently quit my retail job, so I got to visit him between semesters for about two or three weeks at a time. If I hadn't quit my job I definitely wouldn't have been able to visit him in PA, since I was only allowed one week per trip out of my accumulated vacation pay. Bee only has three weeks' vacation out of the entire year from his job, and only allowed to take them in one-week intervals.

Overall we really had to plan well in advance to see each other, but we were amazingly grateful that we got to visit each other when we could.

[zqt3344 21]

I am brand new to this forum and am on the verge of filing for the K1 with my Canandian boyfriend and have been doing a lot of reading here first. This website is extremely helpful and I am anxiously awaiting completing the first round of paperwork (I'm the USC) and sending it off... just so I can wait more.... LOL

Anyway, I see lots of question about visiting each other during the waiting process. I understand the safe way to visit each other, especially with him coming here to California and am glad I have these tips. But we can barely do more than long weekends to visit each other since we both work and maintain homes. How are others getting the time and money to visit for 30, 60 or even 90 days? I know legally UK and Canadians can visit easily for long periods of time legally, but how are people doing it time and money wise? Maybe this is too private of a subject but I'm wondering if people who can do the very long stays do not need to work (i.e. wealthy), are students between semesters, unemployed, working legally in the others country, student in the others country, etc.? We have been wracking our brains to be able to spend more time together (we currently see each other once per month for a long weekend alternating locations) and it's just so short. Not to mention we don't *really* know what it would be like to live together. But in order for him to come here he'd have to quit his job and sell his home to have funds to live here since he could not legally work here yet, but as we know he needs that tie of home and job to show he has ties back home. And I cannot quit my job here to go there for a long period of time.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts we've had and don't know how others manage such long visits. Oooooh, dreaming of the day we can spend more than 3 or 4 nights together....

Thanks for your input!

Amy

p.s. I don't have a timeline yet....soon...

There are more people like you than you imagine. Those others you wonder about well... possibilities are

A) retired or semi-retired

B) out of work or unemployed

C) younger people aka students in college

D) have profession that allows them to have schedule or time off to travel like that

E) Self Employed

F) on job already in that country

So do not let it get you down, at least your finance is in a country that is close and you can travel back and forth to without a visa requirement yourself to see him freely or within several hours or less as opposed to going half way around the world. Hang in there, it will be stressful and depressing for awhile but finally works out.

[DKM 0]

I am making another trip tomorrow! This time Thailand. We've visited a lot of countries together, places I would have never gone but Russians can only go to certain countries without a visa. I'm flat broke because of this but nothing matters more to me. I don't know how people do it if they don't have the time & money, but in my opinion Canadian/US couples have nothing to complain about.

[Jennymc11 2]

I was very lucky. I basically made a crazy decision to quit my job and go be with Rich in England for as long as I could (turned out to be a year). It worked out really well because I was 24 at the time, living with friends (rent, not own), no car payment etc, and though I liked my job I didn't love it and it was an easy decision to quit. My parents supported me emotionally and somewhat financially too, and of course Rich earned enough for the both of us in England.

Its been the moving back to the US that is breaking the bank. It took me two months to find a decent paying job and I lived with my parents for the month before Rich could get here. We're doing ok though, we just can't go out drinkin and to the movies or anything fun like that! Good thing we have a DVD player and a comfy couch:)

[lilysidiq 0]

Hi,

We have been pretty lucky. We met when Sidiq worked in London in 2005, and then I moved to NYC to work at the UN around the same time he had to return to the US for work, so for the first year we were together in NY and London.

The second year I was a student again in London, and as Sidiq is an investment banker we got to see eachother every month as I had the time and flexibility and he had the money.

Now we are just waiting it out in NYC, as I am here on a research visa until March.

I really hope everyone gets to see their lovers as much as possible, and good luck finding ways around the various visiting issues!

Lily