Aaaaand it's Friday

[Caladan 19]

Gotta agree with charles. Maybe it sounds nice to call it 'tough love', but that implies 'love', which usually implies 'knowing the person well', let alone 'knowing the person well enough not to confuse them with someone with a different internet handle.'

I don't have a problem with expressing outrage or shock, but it ain't for Jean's benefit and pretending it is so doesn't make the sow's ear into a silk purse. If her real-life friends and family can't convince her, you're going to do it in a short nasty post? This is not a Very Special Episode of Visa Journey.

That said, someone expressing outrage over an abuser getting a greencard (and serving as Stereotype Confirmation Example #1 for whenever Oprah comes to call) is only equivalent to physical abuse if you have no idea what abuse means.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

Gotta agree with charles. Maybe it sounds nice to call it 'tough love', but that implies 'love', which usually implies 'knowing the person well', let alone 'knowing the person well enough not to confuse them with someone with a different internet handle.'

I don't have a problem with expressing outrage or shock, but it ain't for Jean's benefit and pretending it is so doesn't make the sow's ear into a silk purse. If her real-life friends and family can't convince her, you're going to do it in a short nasty post? This is not a Very Special Episode of Visa Journey.

That said, someone expressing outrage over an abuser getting a greencard (and serving as Stereotype Confirmation Example #1 for whenever Oprah comes to call) is only equivalent to physical abuse if you have no idea what abuse means.

now that's a first

[Caladan 19]

I agree with you when you make sense. Ain't my fault it don't happen all that often, bro.

[Fandango 1,439]

Gotta agree with charles. Maybe it sounds nice to call it 'tough love', but that implies 'love', which usually implies 'knowing the person well', let alone 'knowing the person well enough not to confuse them with someone with a different internet handle.'

I don't have a problem with expressing outrage or shock, but it ain't for Jean's benefit and pretending it is so doesn't make the sow's ear into a silk purse. If her real-life friends and family can't convince her, you're going to do it in a short nasty post? This is not a Very Special Episode of Visa Journey.

That said, someone expressing outrage over an abuser getting a greencard (and serving as Stereotype Confirmation Example #1 for whenever Oprah comes to call) is only equivalent to physical abuse if you have no idea what abuse means.

You're right...I shouldn't have called it 'tough love' because it's not love at all...

But sometimes, hearing the harsh words might just make a difference. I personally do not think anyone here is so mean spirited as to kick someone when she's down this bad. I'd like to believe that no one here would take any pleasure out of doing that.

[peezey 0]

If "couples can work through this" means women taking their abusers back, well of course we know that happens. Jean, you are one sick puppy if you are equating Sarah to M. As usual, you are only looking for attention, and you don't care what kind. You would have posted your story yourself if you really meant to "help" anyone. It's your fault he's getting his green card. This just proves you didn't think you were worth as much as him, because clearly you didn't call off the process. Doodle is right, this is outrageous that a wife beater is getting his GC without an interview, but others wait and wait and have home inspections and denials and are strung along for years.

Sick sick sick sick.

i think she has enough on her plate without blaming the victim too.

It was a pretty outlandish thing she accussed Sarah of, and tbh...if Jean's husband's violence is such a nonissue for her (apparantly so since she's taken him back), maybe others feel like there's no reason to coddle her?

I mean, I am certain Peezey would be very supportive if Jean reached out for help. Jean disclosed things that have made people mad that she is continuing to subject herself to this. They're mad because they care! No one should be treated like that, or have to live in fear of physical abuse. As if that's not bad enough, now Jean's not only making excuses for the atrocious things her husband has done for her, she's making ridiculous claims against others. Peezey's right...we all do know what happens to women who take their abusers back. And she's right, he got his greencard directly through her. And it does take up processing time while others get thrown thru the ringer.

My heart goes out to Jean and I do hope she does some soul searching and finds the wherewithall to realize that she's worth more than this. But at the same time...what exactly was the reason to ask another poster here to reveal her 'good news' about the GC approval? Don't dump serious issues here and have people worry about you and then expect them to...what? dance in the street because a wife beater got a greencard?

Sorry for my bluntness, but that's how I see it.

understood, but i don't see how that's making jean feel any better.

And why should we be making her feel any better? Her post is a direct slap in the face for any feelings of support she has gotten in the past here. She doesn't want to feel better, she doesn't want support here, so there is nothing left but honesty.

She told Kara (moody) that if she killed herself it would be Kara's fault, and now she is equating Sarah's bluntness to her husband cracking her skull open. Jean needs to get over herself.

[aisha kandisha 0]

Gotta agree with charles. Maybe it sounds nice to call it 'tough love', but that implies 'love', which usually implies 'knowing the person well', let alone 'knowing the person well enough not to confuse them with someone with a different internet handle.'

I don't have a problem with expressing outrage or shock, but it ain't for Jean's benefit and pretending it is so doesn't make the sow's ear into a silk purse. If her real-life friends and family can't convince her, you're going to do it in a short nasty post? This is not a Very Special Episode of Visa Journey.

That said, someone expressing outrage over an abuser getting a greencard (and serving as Stereotype Confirmation Example #1 for whenever Oprah comes to call) is only equivalent to physical abuse if you have no idea what abuse means.

The real nastiness in this thread has only come from Jean, IMO, with words meant to manipulate others and make herself a victim again; a position she has continuously chosen to depict herself in when reviewing the archives. The abuse is less shocking, although still deplorable, when looking at the history here. Patterns emerge and it isn't always outside evil cows alone contributing to situations. People often put themselves into the situations that reinforce the identity they already have for themselves.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Evil cows? that's funny. Anyone have a visual for that?

Jackie

[Aymerlu 3]

Edited November 4, 2007 by Aymerlu

[doodlebug 3]

Evil cows? that's funny. Anyone have a visual for that?

Jackie

[doodlebug 3]

ok here are the facts:

1) We all were there for Jean when she waited soooo long to get Mohammed here.

2) We all were there for Jean bigtime and cried with her when he almost killed her.

3) We all tried to dissuade her from staying with him for her sake and the sake of her son.

4) She has another user come here now and post that Mohammed got his greencard.

####### does she expect to get out of #3? That's all I'm asking!

[Fandango 1,439]

Evil cows? that's funny. Anyone have a visual for that?

Jackie

here's a funny shower cap...although who wears shower caps anymore? lol

shower cap didn't load, so I had to photobucket it:

and my fave though small:

Edited November 4, 2007 by LisaD

[Mags 112]

I'm going to lock this thread for now as I can't see any purpose in leaving it open and there are a couple of TOS violations in there. Please feel free to PM me if you have any issues about the lock.

Thanks, everyone.