i messed up whats next

[Perseverance 1]

Rashell & John,

I too am married to a Nigerian, and I too have children from a previous marriage, while being married is not easy by any means, I can say that any disagreements that we may have are not due to the children. To my husband, if they are my children, they are his children because they are a part of me, and he loves me.

We too have had our share of rocky roads but we are husband and wife and worked through them as such. While my husband has always been a faithful man to me our troubled times were during the time when he was not legal to work, it is hard for a Nigerian Man to stay home and let a woman support him, that is just not the way for them. Since he has been able to work things have been very smooth, every marriage will have hard times, how you choose to deal with them is the key.

Rashell you may want to find a support group that deals with intercultural marriage, hopefully you will find some people who are familiar with Nigerian Culture to give you tools and help you understand your husband and the culture that he comes from, while there may not seem like there are many differences, you will be suprised, there really are a lot that can cause drama if you dont understand from thier point of view.

As far as cheating on the internet (or live in person), Rashell really what you will and wont tollerate is your call, it does not matter what advice you get from anywhere or anyone, you need to look inside yourself and decide what is ok with you, or not ok. There are some married couples that have a more "open" relationship and they are ok with that. Most however are not ok with "open" relationships. Have you asked your husband how he would feel if you were the one treating him this way? Would he be jealous, or would he be ok with it?

Being that your husband is from Nigeria and knowing what I know about Nigerian men in general, Nigerian men are proud to take care of thier families and support them. To behave in a manner that is not supportive of the family, is not behaving like a man, but behaving like a boy. You said that your husband is 38 years old, really I am suprized by his actions, they are that of a boy.

John Osey that may be hard for you to take that I refer to you as a boy, but if you look at your actions they are that of a boy. You took a vow like a man "for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health" and all of the other vows that go along with being married. You had to know before you married her that she had children, and you still chose to make your vows before GOD and man to this woman who is now your wife. When you married her you also took the responsibility of the children. You need to look inside yourself and decide are you going to be a man and a husband to your wife, or are you going to play like a boy with these other women?

After reading all of these posts from the two of you I am really shocked at the behavior of this Nigerian Man, this behavior, does your family know how you behave to your wife? It is shameful. I did not reply to this thread to anger anyone, I simply hope that you wake up and realise your behavior, and the mistakes that you are making. Playing with other women when you are a married man is not the behavior of a man but a boy, nor will it make you a man. If you need these women to make you feel like a man, you will never be fulfilled and feel manly. I hope that when you read this you wake up. Go to your pastor and speak to him so he may give you the guidance you need to get your life back on track.

Again I hope that offence is not taken by my words, that was not my intention at all. Really sometimes the truth is a hard thing to swallow, but should be eaten with humility.

[paptee 0]

Rashell & John,

I too am married to a Nigerian, and I too have children from a previous marriage, while being married is not easy by any means, I can say that any disagreements that we may have are not due to the children. To my husband, if they are my children, they are his children because they are a part of me, and he loves me.

We too have had our share of rocky roads but we are husband and wife and worked through them as such. While my husband has always been a faithful man to me our troubled times were during the time when he was not legal to work, it is hard for a Nigerian Man to stay home and let a woman support him, that is just not the way for them. Since he has been able to work things have been very smooth, every marriage will have hard times, how you choose to deal with them is the key.

Rashell you may want to find a support group that deals with intercultural marriage, hopefully you will find some people who are familiar with Nigerian Culture to give you tools and help you understand your husband and the culture that he comes from, while there may not seem like there are many differences, you will be suprised, there really are a lot that can cause drama if you dont understand from thier point of view.

As far as cheating on the internet (or live in person), Rashell really what you will and wont tollerate is your call, it does not matter what advice you get from anywhere or anyone, you need to look inside yourself and decide what is ok with you, or not ok. There are some married couples that have a more "open" relationship and they are ok with that. Most however are not ok with "open" relationships. Have you asked your husband how he would feel if you were the one treating him this way? Would he be jealous, or would he be ok with it?

Being that your husband is from Nigeria and knowing what I know about Nigerian men in general, Nigerian men are proud to take care of thier families and support them. To behave in a manner that is not supportive of the family, is not behaving like a man, but behaving like a boy. You said that your husband is 38 years old, really I am suprized by his actions, they are that of a boy.

John Osey that may be hard for you to take that I refer to you as a boy, but if you look at your actions they are that of a boy. You took a vow like a man "for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health" and all of the other vows that go along with being married. You had to know before you married her that she had children, and you still chose to make your vows before GOD and man to this woman who is now your wife. When you married her you also took the responsibility of the children. You need to look inside yourself and decide are you going to be a man and a husband to your wife, or are you going to play like a boy with these other women?

After reading all of these posts from the two of you I am really shocked at the behavior of this Nigerian Man, this behavior, does your family know how you behave to your wife? It is shameful. I did not reply to this thread to anger anyone, I simply hope that you wake up and realise your behavior, and the mistakes that you are making. Playing with other women when you are a married man is not the behavior of a man but a boy, nor will it make you a man. If you need these women to make you feel like a man, you will never be fulfilled and feel manly. I hope that when you read this you wake up. Go to your pastor and speak to him so he may give you the guidance you need to get your life back on track.

Again I hope that offence is not taken by my words, that was not my intention at all. Really sometimes the truth is a hard thing to swallow, but should be eaten with humility.

it burduns me that you lying. I new on line kept looking at your name went back to ur latest chat you said you no married and hav no kids. I hope you get what you deserve. That is so uncommon to negelct ur wife and child. Although ur known to have cheated usually ur take care of home. Ur wife should not be going through this. You stay off line with me I don't like that.

[JenT 0]

This thread just won't die.

[Perseverance 1]

Rashell & John,

I too am married to a Nigerian, and I too have children from a previous marriage, while being married is not easy by any means, I can say that any disagreements that we may have are not due to the children. To my husband, if they are my children, they are his children because they are a part of me, and he loves me.

We too have had our share of rocky roads but we are husband and wife and worked through them as such. While my husband has always been a faithful man to me our troubled times were during the time when he was not legal to work, it is hard for a Nigerian Man to stay home and let a woman support him, that is just not the way for them. Since he has been able to work things have been very smooth, every marriage will have hard times, how you choose to deal with them is the key.

Rashell you may want to find a support group that deals with intercultural marriage, hopefully you will find some people who are familiar with Nigerian Culture to give you tools and help you understand your husband and the culture that he comes from, while there may not seem like there are many differences, you will be suprised, there really are a lot that can cause drama if you dont understand from thier point of view.

As far as cheating on the internet (or live in person), Rashell really what you will and wont tollerate is your call, it does not matter what advice you get from anywhere or anyone, you need to look inside yourself and decide what is ok with you, or not ok. There are some married couples that have a more "open" relationship and they are ok with that. Most however are not ok with "open" relationships. Have you asked your husband how he would feel if you were the one treating him this way? Would he be jealous, or would he be ok with it?

Being that your husband is from Nigeria and knowing what I know about Nigerian men in general, Nigerian men are proud to take care of thier families and support them. To behave in a manner that is not supportive of the family, is not behaving like a man, but behaving like a boy. You said that your husband is 38 years old, really I am suprized by his actions, they are that of a boy.

John Osey that may be hard for you to take that I refer to you as a boy, but if you look at your actions they are that of a boy. You took a vow like a man "for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health" and all of the other vows that go along with being married. You had to know before you married her that she had children, and you still chose to make your vows before GOD and man to this woman who is now your wife. When you married her you also took the responsibility of the children. You need to look inside yourself and decide are you going to be a man and a husband to your wife, or are you going to play like a boy with these other women?

After reading all of these posts from the two of you I am really shocked at the behavior of this Nigerian Man, this behavior, does your family know how you behave to your wife? It is shameful. I did not reply to this thread to anger anyone, I simply hope that you wake up and realise your behavior, and the mistakes that you are making. Playing with other women when you are a married man is not the behavior of a man but a boy, nor will it make you a man. If you need these women to make you feel like a man, you will never be fulfilled and feel manly. I hope that when you read this you wake up. Go to your pastor and speak to him so he may give you the guidance you need to get your life back on track.

Again I hope that offence is not taken by my words, that was not my intention at all. Really sometimes the truth is a hard thing to swallow, but should be eaten with humility.

it burduns me that you lying. I new on line kept looking at your name went back to ur latest chat you said you no married and hav no kids. I hope you get what you deserve. That is so uncommon to negelct ur wife and child. Although ur known to have cheated usually ur take care of home. Ur wife should not be going through this. You stay off line with me I don't like that.

I am assuming that you are refering to John Osey...and not me?? If your comment was directed at me I have NO CLUE what you are talking about.