Tension & Depression over seperation

[Nutty 2]

My husband and I are going the the CR-1 visa process. We're at the point where we are waiting for the case to be transferred to the Embassy.

It's been a long and difficult time for both of us. Even though we stay in contact almost daily.

For me it is especially hard...I recently relocated back to the US and have started from scratch over the past 10 months. Finding an apartment, a job...All part of the immigration process. But my attachment to living in the US is zero. This really isn't my home (in my heart). Strange to hear this coming from a born and raised American.

So sometimes, I find it incredibly hard to keep going. And often I wonder if my husband really knows how unhappy I am here.

[Jasman0717 9]

It is a very stressful situation. I think sites like VJ help alot in working through all the stressful issues that arise from the immigration process.

[polarbear 0]

My husband and I are going the the CR-1 visa process. We're at the point where we are waiting for the case to be transferred to the Embassy.

It's been a long and difficult time for both of us. Even though we stay in contact almost daily.

For me it is especially hard...I recently relocated back to the US and have started from scratch over the past 10 months. Finding an apartment, a job...All part of the immigration process. But my attachment to living in the US is zero. This really isn't my home (in my heart). Strange to hear this coming from a born and raised American.

So sometimes, I find it incredibly hard to keep going. And often I wonder if my husband really knows how unhappy I am here.

It is hard, especially for those with looong waits and don't have the means to visit often. It is also hard to move to a new city no matter where in the world it is or what country. You have my sympathy as I am in the same position as you. Things have been so hard with this relocation for me as well and I hate where I am living, but am trying to make the best of it... I just keep looking to the future and being reunited with my love (it's been almost 1 1/2 yrs). I re-entered the US 11 months ago and I am just now adjusting and trying to find things to love about it again Stay positive and find the things that still bring you joy.

That, and I am also just telling myself that we just need to stay in this city for 2 years and wait for the AOS, and we can move Or even before filing for removal of conditions... I came here for the job and have never hated a place more

[miamiwife 0]

The weekends are the worse. I have never been so depressed in my life. I lie in bed and find no meaning to anything anymore. I really don't know how I can stand a year of this nightmare.

[DavidandJenny 1]

My husband and I are going the the CR-1 visa process. We're at the point where we are waiting for the case to be transferred to the Embassy.

It's been a long and difficult time for both of us. Even though we stay in contact almost daily.

For me it is especially hard...I recently relocated back to the US and have started from scratch over the past 10 months. Finding an apartment, a job...All part of the immigration process. But my attachment to living in the US is zero. This really isn't my home (in my heart). Strange to hear this coming from a born and raised American.

So sometimes, I find it incredibly hard to keep going. And often I wonder if my husband really knows how unhappy I am here.

Well, let me say this to you my freind. If you will notice the small banners below, you will see that it hasnt been easy for us either. I feel exactly as you do, when it comes to not finding peace, contentment here anymore without my baby. My heart as I have said so many times to Jenny, is there, with her. Its almost like I left it when I boarded the plane to return here.

I havent started over here, but its very lonely, I miss her so much. Its a long process for everyone here, to say the least, and my prayers (our prayers) will be with you.

[C and J 1]

My situation is not the same as yours, as I am the beneficiary, but I do understand what you are going through. I have been in limbo since mid-April when we filed our paperwork, knowing that at some point I will be leaving everything here behind me.

I want to be with my spouse, so am living in a place I don't want to be, am working 40+ hours a week at a job I don't want to do... I have to re-motivate myself each and every day to continue things as normal. If there was a definitive end-date to this process, I would find this easier to deal with but instead we have to keep pushing ourselves to maintain some normalcy for however long it takes

All I can say is hang in there and when things seem tough, try to remember the reason you are doing this. You want to be together with your spouse and they are worth every moment of this process

[Jigi 0]

Hi

I guess you stay with your hubby in the last 10 months.... I am apart from my life partner for over a year and we are still in touch.. but our heart knows and like most couples here.. its heart wrenching.. its crushing.. it feels like you are being punished for no reason.. and the world is an enemy... But when after so many days ur with ur life partner for ever.. then the wait will be fruitful... I am waiting to be with my Life partner... I just cant live without my life partner......

Jigi

[Nutty 2]

Hi

I guess you stay with your hubby in the last 10 months.... I am apart from my life partner for over a year and we are still in touch.. but our heart knows and like most couples here.. its heart wrenching.. its crushing.. it feels like you are being punished for no reason.. and the world is an enemy... But when after so many days ur with ur life partner for ever.. then the wait will be fruitful... I am waiting to be with my Life partner... I just cant live without my life partner......

Jigi

Well, my husband and I have been seperate since October of last year - over a year. Because he lives in Iran and now me in the US, getting tourist visas is impossible. So I had took a temporary job the first part of this year, just because I could get the time off to see him in May. He was able to get a tourist visa for India, so he and I went to Kullu Valley for a few weeks together.

That is the only time this year we have been together.

[Tussie 0]

I feel the same way. Im so disappointed with USCIS. I want my husband here to give me the support and energy I need to brush off all the daily stress at work. I know Im just a number in the military and the president could care less if I died, but Im a human being. I have feelings too and cant help to feel alone. Ive been trying to see what my options are in getting out cause I just feel like I cant take the heat anymore. I feel so alone, my parents moved back to Texas recently, my brother and sister have children and their significant other where with me Im just alone with my cat. No children yet. It seems like I signed my soul away and I wish now that I hadnt. Its hard for me to get out now. Everyone is giving me the runaround with options and resources. There is no direct point of contact for me to call, its taking a bit to schedule an appointment with mental health and the work is just adding up. Well really all the bullcrap and time. Today was my hubbys birthday, and Im sad that I could not spend it with him. For the past three years we both could not spend our birthdays with each other. Not even christmas or any other holiday. Its not like I can take leave any time for whenever I want to. My congressman responded with a message like subscribe to his site and blog. He is anti illegal immigration, which I understand but what about those that are really trying to do it the right way? He didnt really respond to my concern so there goes that. I dont feel like the US is my home. Its nice to have all the benefits and opportunities but it has no point if you cant share it with the one you love and want to share it. I find myself with extra money everypaycheck, but I dont even have a desire to buy anything like I use to. For what purpose?

[YGandMAT 0]

Wow,

Miamiwife, I feel the same way as you...as all of you. I really dislike the weekends, I hate them. My weekends with my husband were the best I've ever had and I miss them so much. I try not to get depressed and I try to be strong for him, I don't want him to know I am having such a hard time, because then he will be sadder and suffer. I think we need to be strong and eventhough we are hurting inside, we need to be supportive of our spouses and be cheerful and hopeful. Sometimes when I talked to him I used to cry when I told him how much I missed him, and that made him really sad...I don't want to cause him pain cause I love him so much. It is very hard to deal with this every day...and I just hope and pray that this is over soon.

Let's keep positive and before you know it our spouses will be next to us.

[Delicia 1]

I recently jumped into the same boat as the OP. I moved from the U.S. to Canada, married, lived for 2 years waiting for Canadian immigration. We were floating in a boat of debt with me being unable to work, so we finally cut our losses after 2 years of living together and I moved back to the U.S. I started looking for a job from Canada in August and had one all lined up that began Oct 1 (after coming to the U.S. for a 1.5 day long interview). I am thankful to be employed and working again towards a future with my husband, but I miss him terribly. I am still in the process of trying to populate my apartment with furniture and I still sleep on a mat on the floor.

After being in limbo waiting for 2 years, we are starting over again on the other side of the border. Someday, before I become too old to enjoy it, I would like to live with my husband again. All I can do is be hopeful this process will end at some point on this crazy time continuum.

[Jigi 0]

Hi,

LEts join hands together...

but i am really feeel for Tussie.... 3 years.. ohh god thats tough.... and really painful.

Nuttty i am happy yu had a little holiday in My country .. the KULLU valley .. it must be beautiful and divine for yu

Jigi

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Hi,

LEts join hands together...

but i am really feeel for Tussie.... 3 years.. ohh god thats tough.... and really painful.

Nuttty i am happy yu had a little holiday in My country .. the KULLU valley .. it must be beautiful and divine for yu

Jigi

I just want my NOA2... so I can go foward with my life... this is HELL

[Nutty 2]

Hi,

LEts join hands together...

but i am really feeel for Tussie.... 3 years.. ohh god thats tough.... and really painful.

Nuttty i am happy yu had a little holiday in My country .. the KULLU valley .. it must be beautiful and divine for yu

Jigi

Actually I live in Manali, Kullu Valley. That is my home.

I have lived in India for most of the past ten years. Seen all of Himachel Pradesh, Kashmir and Rajasthan. Many places in Maydha Pradesh, Uttaranchel, Kerala, Goa. Small part of Tamil Nadu and Karnataka.

[jodee 30]

This was copied and pasted from a post I did in the downunder thread a week or so ago,...

I just did a quick calculation,.

Since the first time hubby and I met in real life May 2002, I worked out the amount of time we have spent together. I calculated our actual time together as a couple,.

May 2002 to Oct 2007, so far ( i didnt calculate, the previous 11 months we talked before we actually met). In that time, minus, his two deployments to Iraq, visa waiting time, his away on school time, his training time pre deployment, and 3 months when I had to go home to look after my kids,..we have had a total time together of 17 months. and thats out of a total of 65 months, or 5 years and 5 months....BIG SIGH....

Just to put things in perspective...And I know what I was getting into when I married him, just wanted to tell my lil piece about the seperations i have faced, and believe me, i have had my dpressed moments also!!