My journey with a Moroccan is over

[Jenn! 918]

The whole kissing thing aside, I do think it's difficult to say from the outside whether a married man confiding in a female friend is inappropriate, since everyone's relationship is different. Lots of factors to consider....cultural and religious issues, personality types, etc. In this case it seems that the OP and her husband were not on the same page, regardless of what any of us think of his behavior. Ultimately, if she thinks he was acting inappropriately, problems will arise.

[MrsAmera 41]

I never agreed that cheating was wrong. I guess I would just reconsider ending a marriage about it without some type of counselinge etc. when a child is involved. Obviously this is not me in this situation but if it were that's the route I would take. Also I don't think that sleeping with someone is the same as kissing them - neither are condonable but ending a marriage over extra marital sex yes, ending a marriage over an infidelity like kissing, not the same. That's not to say there aren't serious trust violations in play...

[maggieNomar 0]

Sorry you are going through this. I am glad that you were able to notify his family of his actions. I hope you can get the support you need to take the right steps to take care of yourself and your baby. All of us are here for you. As has been said so many times, you are not responsible for what he did. No need to be embarassed with us.

[♥JP♥ 5]

I never agreed that cheating was wrong. I guess I would just reconsider ending a marriage about it without some type of counselinge etc. when a child is involved. Obviously this is not me in this situation but if it were that's the route I would take. Also I don't think that sleeping with someone is the same as kissing them - neither are condonable but ending a marriage over extra marital sex yes, ending a marriage over an infidelity like kissing, not the same. That's not to say there aren't serious trust violations in play...

Ok lets back up a sec. I never said I would end a marriage over a kiss but what I have an issue with is that he can't even admit it was cheating which means there is a possibility he would do it again since he won't admit its inappropriate behaivior.

And yes I agree with you Jenn. Its up to everyoen to decide if they are ok with their spouses having friends of the opposite sex, but when you start kissing them all bets are off!

[Ban Hammer 13,275]

I never agreed that cheating was wrong. I guess I would just reconsider ending a marriage about it without some type of counselinge etc. when a child is involved. Obviously this is not me in this situation but if it were that's the route I would take. Also I don't think that sleeping with someone is the same as kissing them - neither are condonable but ending a marriage over extra marital sex yes, ending a marriage over an infidelity like kissing, not the same. That's not to say there aren't serious trust violations in play...

Ok lets back up a sec. I never said I would end a marriage over a kiss but what I have an issue with is that he can't even admit it was cheating which means there is a possibility he would do it again since he won't admit its inappropriate behaivior.

And yes I agree with you Jenn. Its up to everyoen to decide if they are ok with their spouses having friends of the opposite sex, but when you start kissing them all bets are off!

and with quite a few of the mena girls, i'd suggest the husband enter the witness protection program

[deemabrouk 0]

Hi its me the BAD Moroccan, abuser, the cheater that this topic is all about, but Im replying hear to first response to Cherry, the way how you are thinking is what made your man leave you, you know because you are just thinking in one circle, so where was your bright thinking and genuis resolving for the issues when you went to Morocco, if you read so well and understand the whole things you will see that i left without a GC because i dont want to be told the same things you have said about your EX or whatever.

So who want to listen to the other side of the story? none ?

But here what I tell you all, It was my dream to have a kid was my dream to be a father, ok why did I leave then? I will answer, and am not regretting that I left

It all started when my brother needed money and i let him take some money from my account( which its my money, I pay the rent I pay the car loan, I my step daughter schooling fees), borrowed 18000 to get a new car, (on her name How stupid is that)......theres more..

will you let your mother swear at your husband and kick him out( was i married to that lady or was she paying my rent)

The only reason Am still staying in the US is to find what i can do to protect my kid and what will be my responsabilities, and Theres alots the court will decide and I cant wait for that,

From my experience i will tell alotof of you are a good wives by the way how you defend on your husband abscence!!! I was abused inside my house, and guess what my debit card and my money was all taking in the morning so i was left with anything,

JUST for you all to know Am a Arabic Moroccan Muslim that never get rid of his own ( my kid )

So is that a no comment on the cheating accusations?

I didnt not cheat I was looking for an external listener since no one want to listen to me , i was looking for friends since i dont have any friends, I didnt do anything, I have proves for that which the court will see it of course. And I will let you all know about it

well since you stated that you are Muslim.. You already KNOW you should NOT be seeking the company of a non mahram!!!!!!!!!

[Welshcookie 17]

Hi its me the BAD Moroccan, abuser, the cheater that this topic is all about, but Im replying hear to first response to Cherry, the way how you are thinking is what made your man leave you, you know because you are just thinking in one circle, so where was your bright thinking and genuis resolving for the issues when you went to Morocco, if you read so well and understand the whole things you will see that i left without a GC because i dont want to be told the same things you have said about your EX or whatever.

So who want to listen to the other side of the story? none ?

But here what I tell you all, It was my dream to have a kid was my dream to be a father, ok why did I leave then? I will answer, and am not regretting that I left

It all started when my brother needed money and i let him take some money from my account( which its my money, I pay the rent I pay the car loan, I my step daughter schooling fees), borrowed 18000 to get a new car, (on her name How stupid is that)......theres more..

will you let your mother swear at your husband and kick him out( was i married to that lady or was she paying my rent)

The only reason Am still staying in the US is to find what i can do to protect my kid and what will be my responsabilities, and Theres alots the court will decide and I cant wait for that,

From my experience i will tell alotof of you are a good wives by the way how you defend on your husband abscence!!! I was abused inside my house, and guess what my debit card and my money was all taking in the morning so i was left with anything,

JUST for you all to know Am a Arabic Moroccan Muslim that never get rid of his own ( my kid )

Umm...no real comment on this ^^ But how come you guys so readily accept that this is actually the OP's husband? Maybe I have just missed something.

[deemabrouk 0]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.............NOTHING justifies leaving a pregnant wife and cheating on her with another woman.

Why everyone calling me a Cheater, I didnt sleep around, I DIDNT I admit the kiss yes, But I cam to my EX and told her how much I loved her and I did fall asleep huging her, just the kiss made me feel so guilty. that was all what happen. And yes nothing justefy what I did which I admit that, But nothing justify beeing disrespected in my house and beeing yelled at.

umm... do we live on the same planet??@@@!!!!!

and WHY are you hugging your EX telling her about your love.. falling asleep in her arms and kissing her???!!!

islamically.. that is Haram!

AND that IS considered CHEATING!!!!!

being disrespected in your own home?? yelled at??? Are you kidding?

YOU disrespected your WIFE and your unborn baby!!!! and you DESERVED to be yelled at!!!!!!!!!

[~Jackie~ 30]

((((((((to the OP)))))))))) I pray you find comfort and support from the good people on this forum. Let us be here for you.

Jackie

[deemabrouk 0]

Ok usually i am all for advocating for the woman and honestly I am - I really do feel sorry for you. But you guys are totally running this guy through the mud. From what I am reading it sounds like yea he is having a hard time and yea he did do something bad, but you all are not even considering any of this in context. Look I know a lot of our husbands are here and it is soooo hard for anyone to adjust - I don't condone the kissing/cheating or any of it BUT do you hear what he's saying at all? That's my point - again I am so sorry for you the OP to have to deal with this while pregnant but I really think that it might be something you could work through - esp for the baby.

ur serious?

Edited October 24, 2007 by deemabrouk

[aj1 1]

I am so very sorry to hear about this just know that you will be fine i know that is hard to believe now but more than anything you have to take care of yourself and your unborn baby. You are in my prayers for sure. And no matter what hun don't be embarreded i am sure it is his lose!

AJ1

[MrsAmera 41]

Yes I am serious. Sometimes you guys are just the judge, jury and execution squad. Especially those that stand up and say "oh you're muslim you should know better" guess what there are a lot of scuzzy Muslim guys (and girls for that matter). I did miss the part where he said he fell asleep hugging his ex, I read it to be his wife. My apologies for misreading that. I just think that people should be a little more objective and not just tell her "you're life is over, he's a dirtbag, get the hell out of dodge." And if you want to profess Muslim values, well they encourage you to work through problems in your marriage - so I am just offering the OP the fact that this might not be the end of her world. Just trying to inject a bit of objectivity that is rarely seen here.

Again I never said it was right or said 'oh yea go ahead buddy do what you want" I am just telling the OP to look objectively, get counseling and see what can be done and not just give up and think this is it. Obviously we don't know everything.

[JODO 2]

[LoriLawless 0]

Personally, I don't think it's up to us to argue. That's this couple's job.

[Mags 112]

I suggest that any further personal matter regarding this matter be taken privately. VJ isn't for airing your dirty laundry nor do we do service washes. OP and husband please continue this privately. Thank you.