My journey with a Moroccan is over

[morocco4ever 63]

And on the flip side of this, many women are expected to accept and forgive their husbands regardless of what they do. In Jordan especially people make tons of excuses for men. When I was there, my cousin and her fiance broke off their engagment due to the fact that he was a complete bafoon. However everyone was defending his actions saying he did them out of love. Now he did some downright stupid shyt. Men are held up on a much higher pedestal overthere.

You don't need to tell me that. I've seen a few of them myself. I tell you, it's usually a trashy family who would defend that kind of person.

There's garbage here, there's garbage there, there's garbage everywhere. It doesn't matter where you look - you're going to find trash people. There's no such thing as a "bad American", a "bad Moroccan", a "bad Norwegian", or a "bad Peruvian". There are only "bad people". Every nation has them, every nation will always have them.

Uh thanks, but my family isnt trashy and they were the ones defending him. You know its not uncommon to marry someone within your own family and this guy just happened to be our cousin (3rd or 4th).

The fact that a family would defend someone like that doesnt make them trashy at all. The culture however allows men to be pardoned for many mistakes.

And this is what I find to be sad. Excuses are made for the man and it is the woman's responsibility to forgive his mistakes. But if a woman makes the same mistake they are punished. Sorry to say, if it wrong for the woman it is wrong for the man. If is forgiven of the man it should be forgiven of the woman. What, do they expect a woman to swallow all of their anguish and just pretend they aren't hurting? I guess if that is what they choose to do in their countries then us as Americans must respect their way of life. On the other hand, I am an american, this is not acceptable to me, and never will be. Any adult, whether male or female, should be held accountable for their own actions.

[Ban Hammer 13,489]

And on the flip side of this, many women are expected to accept and forgive their husbands regardless of what they do. In Jordan especially people make tons of excuses for men. When I was there, my cousin and her fiance broke off their engagment due to the fact that he was a complete bafoon. However everyone was defending his actions saying he did them out of love. Now he did some downright stupid shyt. Men are held up on a much higher pedestal overthere.

You don't need to tell me that. I've seen a few of them myself. I tell you, it's usually a trashy family who would defend that kind of person.

There's garbage here, there's garbage there, there's garbage everywhere. It doesn't matter where you look - you're going to find trash people. There's no such thing as a "bad American", a "bad Moroccan", a "bad Norwegian", or a "bad Peruvian". There are only "bad people". Every nation has them, every nation will always have them.

Uh thanks, but my family isnt trashy and they were the ones defending him. You know its not uncommon to marry someone within your own family and this guy just happened to be our cousin (3rd or 4th).

The fact that a family would defend someone like that doesnt make them trashy at all. The culture however allows men to be pardoned for many mistakes.

And this is what I find to be sad. Excuses are made for the man and it is the woman's responsibility to forgive his mistakes. But if a woman makes the same mistake they are punished. Sorry to say, if it wrong for the woman it is wrong for the man. If is forgiven of the man it should be forgiven of the woman. What, do they expect a woman to swallow all of their anguish and just pretend they aren't hurting? I guess if that is what they choose to do in their countries then us as Americans must respect their way of life. On the other hand, I am an american, this is not acceptable to me, and never will be. Any adult, whether male or female, should be held accountable for their own actions.

[♥JP♥ 5]

And on the flip side of this, many women are expected to accept and forgive their husbands regardless of what they do. In Jordan especially people make tons of excuses for men. When I was there, my cousin and her fiance broke off their engagment due to the fact that he was a complete bafoon. However everyone was defending his actions saying he did them out of love. Now he did some downright stupid shyt. Men are held up on a much higher pedestal overthere.

You don't need to tell me that. I've seen a few of them myself. I tell you, it's usually a trashy family who would defend that kind of person.

There's garbage here, there's garbage there, there's garbage everywhere. It doesn't matter where you look - you're going to find trash people. There's no such thing as a "bad American", a "bad Moroccan", a "bad Norwegian", or a "bad Peruvian". There are only "bad people". Every nation has them, every nation will always have them.

Uh thanks, but my family isnt trashy and they were the ones defending him. You know its not uncommon to marry someone within your own family and this guy just happened to be our cousin (3rd or 4th).

The fact that a family would defend someone like that doesnt make them trashy at all. The culture however allows men to be pardoned for many mistakes.

And this is what I find to be sad. Excuses are made for the man and it is the woman's responsibility to forgive his mistakes. But if a woman makes the same mistake they are punished. Sorry to say, if it wrong for the woman it is wrong for the man. If is forgiven of the man it should be forgiven of the woman. What, do they expect a woman to swallow all of their anguish and just pretend they aren't hurting? I guess if that is what they choose to do in their countries then us as Americans must respect their way of life. On the other hand, I am an american, this is not acceptable to me, and never will be. Any adult, whether male or female, should be held accountable for their own actions.

I completly agree with everything you are saying. Its not acceptable to me either. However the bottom line I have to respect their ways of thinking. I dont have to agree with it but I am not going to debate it with them either. Even when all this went down with my cousin in Jordan I just let it go even though it was wrong. I am not going to change their way of thinking regardless of what I do or say.

I just don't agree with KyanWan about if man cheats that the womans brothers/family might have something to say about that or teach him a lesson. That is not really cultural and comes down to more of the families belief and how high of a pedestal the women in their family stand on.

[morocco4ever 63]

And on the flip side of this, many women are expected to accept and forgive their husbands regardless of what they do. In Jordan especially people make tons of excuses for men. When I was there, my cousin and her fiance broke off their engagment due to the fact that he was a complete bafoon. However everyone was defending his actions saying he did them out of love. Now he did some downright stupid shyt. Men are held up on a much higher pedestal overthere.

You don't need to tell me that. I've seen a few of them myself. I tell you, it's usually a trashy family who would defend that kind of person.

There's garbage here, there's garbage there, there's garbage everywhere. It doesn't matter where you look - you're going to find trash people. There's no such thing as a "bad American", a "bad Moroccan", a "bad Norwegian", or a "bad Peruvian". There are only "bad people". Every nation has them, every nation will always have them.

Uh thanks, but my family isnt trashy and they were the ones defending him. You know its not uncommon to marry someone within your own family and this guy just happened to be our cousin (3rd or 4th).

The fact that a family would defend someone like that doesnt make them trashy at all. The culture however allows men to be pardoned for many mistakes.

And this is what I find to be sad. Excuses are made for the man and it is the woman's responsibility to forgive his mistakes. But if a woman makes the same mistake they are punished. Sorry to say, if it wrong for the woman it is wrong for the man. If is forgiven of the man it should be forgiven of the woman. What, do they expect a woman to swallow all of their anguish and just pretend they aren't hurting? I guess if that is what they choose to do in their countries then us as Americans must respect their way of life. On the other hand, I am an american, this is not acceptable to me, and never will be. Any adult, whether male or female, should be held accountable for their own actions.

I completly agree with everything you are saying. Its not acceptable to me either. However the bottom line I have to respect their ways of thinking. I dont have to agree with it but I am not going to debate it with them either. Even when all this went down with my cousin in Jordan I just let it go even though it was wrong. I am not going to change their way of thinking regardless of what I do or say.

I just don't agree with KyanWan about if man cheats that the womans brothers/family might have something to say about that or teach him a lesson. That is not really cultural and comes down to more of the families belief and how high of a pedestal the women in their family stand on.

Yes, your right. You don't need to respect it, so why bother arguing the point. So what is the logic, that a man can't control himself, so he should be forgiven? I guess it is the woman that belongs on the pedestal. Goes to show us women are awesome.

[Ban Hammer 13,489]

I guess it is the woman that belongs on the pedestal. Goes to show us women are awesome.

[PetraPerson101 0]

I completly agree with everything you are saying. Its not acceptable to me either. However the bottom line I have to respect their ways of thinking. I dont have to agree with it but I am not going to debate it with them either. Even when all this went down with my cousin in Jordan I just let it go even though it was wrong. I am not going to change their way of thinking regardless of what I do or say.

I just don't agree with KyanWan about if man cheats that the womans brothers/family might have something to say about that or teach him a lesson. That is not really cultural and comes down to more of the families belief and how high of a pedestal the women in their family stand on.

I guess we have differing ideologies. That's the way the world works - people have their own opinions and beliefs.

In my opinion, there's a difference between putting a person on a pedestal - than educating them, teaching them self-respect, and encouraging honorable behaviour.

You can put trash on a pedestal - but - someone who should be on one, will not want to be put on one (-nor will they willingly do anything stupid to begin with.)

I guess it is the woman that belongs on the pedestal. Goes to show us women are awesome.

But I've got to agree too, lol!

Edited October 26, 2007 by KyanWan

[PetraPerson101 0]

*screech*

Wait a second ... I said, if my sister's husband cheated on her - I'd be mighty-powerful-miffed at said husband. You did read what I said correctly, right?

I seriously doubt becoming angry with a cheater is holding someone on a pedestal.

[i'd have edited my post, but the edit function got locked. The board's prejudiced towards chronic-editors. Heh!]

Edited October 26, 2007 by KyanWan

[♥JP♥ 5]

*screech*

Wait a second ... I said, if my sister's husband cheated on her - I'd be mighty-powerful-miffed at said husband. You did read what I said correctly, right?

I seriously doubt becoming angry with a cheater is holding someone on a pedestal.

[i'd have edited my post, but the edit function got locked. The board's prejudiced towards chronic-editors. Heh!]

But you are talking about yourself and you grew up here. So you and I have similar views bcz we both grew up in arab families but in the states. However back home its a whole other ball game.

[Sonshyne 2]

My heart and prayers go out to you

[goldenheart 0]

This is an excerpt from the book, The Tiny Warrior by DJ Vanas.

Chapter 4- Finding Your Own Way

Still feeling ashamed for letting the village fire go out, Cricket slunk off into the woods for solitude. He found a huge maple tree, rested his head on the roots and slowly began to cry. Only moments had passed when the old maple spoke.

"I can't live on the saltwater in your tears, little boy"

"You can talk"? asked the startled Cricket.

"Of course. Everything in nature has a voice if people will only listen. Now, why are you crying?"

"I'll never be a warrior" Cricket sobbed. "It is too hard.

The maple tree chuckled and said, " That I have no eyes and can see better than you, through the years, I've endured wind, rain, drought, fire, snow, lightning and floods. It has twisted me, I've lost branches and I've almost died many times. Still, I live. Through it all, I've become stronger. You see, those things are hard to survive, but I have a purpose in my life, I serve as a home to the squirrel family, the bird family and a bee colony, I provide sap for your people and shade so moss and mushrooms can grow. The more I think about my purpose the deeper my roots grow, What is your purpose?"

My dear sister, even though you are feeling the pain of your husband's betrayal...you have to know and understand the purpose behind all of this. You stated you are 8 weeks pregnant...eight weeks ago Allah created a baby and he loan it to you. Allah has placed so much trust in you that you are now carrying the biggest gift a woman can have. The money, time and energy you placed in your spouse... to get him to this country is not in vain.

I pray you fine solitude, hope and strength in your struggle and congratulation on your pregnancy...and I suggest you change your name from itsfinallyover to itsonlyjustbegun.

P.S. Your husband is caught- up in the temptation of this world and I will pray that the veil is removed from his eyes.

I am hurting very badly right now. My husband left yesterday after 10 months. I am 8 weeks pregnant. I found out he was cheating on me and he immediately said he wanted a divorce and to get rid of the baby. I am writing my story in MS Word right now and I will post the entire story as soon as I can stomach to get it all out. Right now I'm feeling used and betrayed and deeply hurt. I gave everything to him and spent time, money and emotions getting him here. Things were just going to turn around for us and I found out I was pregnant. We have been trying for 7 months. He wanted a baby more than anything. When he found out, he cried and called all of his family and friends and they were all happy and crying about it too. Then he started cheating on me 2 1/2 weeks ago. His family is furious with him (I called and told them).

I am canceling the AOS tomorrow. Our relationship was all a lie.

I posted under a new ID because I am so embarassed. Things were going ok until all of this.

Just needing to get some empathy because I'm feeling pretty worthless right now.

[caybee 21]

Goldenheart, that is a beautiful story and so encouraging. It's good to see you posting after a long time.