how to best use the 90 days prior to marriage k-1

[Sinergy 3]

i came in late, which is unusual, but i wanna know what the argument is all about........

its simple, the 90 days is not to be used to get to know someone you already claim to love and want to marry, that shouldve been taken care of long before coming on VJ and filing a k1 visa.

what is there to argue about?

[mox 298]

i came in late, which is unusual, but i wanna know what the argument is all about........

its simple, the 90 days is not to be used to get to know someone you already claim to love and want to marry, that shouldve been taken care of long before coming on VJ and filing a k1 visa.

It's really not quite as simple as that.

what is there to argue about?

I thought we were arguing Alliance vs Horde.

For the Horde!!!!!! :)

[John and Luda 0]

A little bit of both actually, and I have to agree with the OP, I do agree your signature picture does suck, looking at somebody's painted azz does get old considering how much you like to post. I wonder if there is any rule in regards to an offensive photo in a signature, cause yours is pretty close to bordering on that in my opinion. And please before you flame me LisaD, don't make me make a poll post, I am more than happy to show you I am not that the only one that thinks this.

Humbly,

Ramos

Let's keep the personal ####### off of this web site. I think there has been a chain of meaningful discussion concerning the OP issue. Obviously, there are many of us with different views and interpretations and that should be respected by all, right or wrong. There are many other web sites available where you can go beat the ###### out eachother if desired. Again, let's try and keep it professional and respectful on this site.

[Sinergy 3]

i came in late, which is unusual, but i wanna know what the argument is all about........

its simple, the 90 days is not to be used to get to know someone you already claim to love and want to marry, that shouldve been taken care of long before coming on VJ and filing a k1 visa.

It's really not quite as simple as that.

what is there to argue about?

I thought we were arguing Alliance vs Horde.

For the Horde!!!!!! :)

really? bc my husband came here and within 90 days we were married and didnt have to learn anything before marrying. was pretty darn simple

if ppl wanna use the 90 days as a learn about your fiance process time, then thats there shame and pain

[mox 298]

really? bc my husband came here and within 90 days we were married and didnt have to learn anything before marrying. was pretty darn simple

That's pretty cool, and I'm truly happy for you both. I expect the same will be the case with my partner and I. I wish everyone's situation was as simple.

if ppl wanna use the 90 days as a learn about your fiance process time, then thats there shame and pain

See, this is where the semantics are being lost in this whole discussion. Nobody's talking about a situation where you know absolutely nothing about your fiance except what she looks like from her picture on that dating site. I think it's a given that just about everyone *knows* their fiance. When we talk about "getting to know" or any of the other phrases that have been bandied about, we're really talking about adjustment. To avoid repeating myself I'll direct you here.

lf39m mc

[jundp 191]

I'd personally just like to get to the 90 days!

And PS I find the pumpkin azz annoying and juvenile, so I turned photos off (thanks to whomever taught me how!)

[Fandango 1,439]

i came in late, which is unusual, but i wanna know what the argument is all about........

its simple, the 90 days is not to be used to get to know someone you already claim to love and want to marry, that shouldve been taken care of long before coming on VJ and filing a k1 visa.

what is there to argue about?

As usual Tara, you are able to see thru all the mucky muck

[freecake 0]

Eh, only one thing to say...

"But what you're failing to understand is that INTENT is everything to USCIS...."

No, i understand it. As I stated in my post:

" do i personally think that the K1 is for people intending already to get married? YES. that is what USCIS has designed it for."

[bakofoil 27]

I think we have to be careful about what we're advocating with regard to the K1 visa process.

I know from personal experience that I have gleaned more information from this site about the process than from any other single site. However, I have been careful to ensure that any advice I have received on these boards is backed up by secondary sources.

I don't think it is unreasonable for people to assume that by embarking on a marriage-based visa they are making a firm commitment to another person and that with that comes a responsibility for each other that goes far beyond what one might experience making a similar commitment to someone in your home country. For example, I am not financially or legally responsible for anyone who I have had a relationship with in the past, nor am I responsible for encouraging (with their consent) them giving up good careers, local friend and family support on my account. This is why I personally feel that what my fiance and I are undergoing is the most intense responsibility for a relationship either of us has ever experienced and this is why we have discussed ad infinitum what kind of issues we might face in what is a very unusual way (although not unique way) for people to come together for marriage.

That said, I don't think it is unreasonable either for people to be cautious about the limited time they have been able to utilise to get to know their partner in person. Or to feel that bigger issues might get in the way of a successful outcome to their INTENT to marry. None of us can ensure the success of our future marriages and it is only right and fair to both parties to be aware that problems might occur.

However, if anyone is advocating that the K1 is a legal means of getting to know someone better then you are misleading many people looking to these boards for good advice. Also, you are misunderstanding the practicalities involved for the beneficiary. We do not all have the same circumstances, but many beneficiaries have loose ends to tie up BEFORE entering the US on a K1 visa. Careers, lifestyle, family, friends, homes, belongings, pets. Facing the prospect of not earning for at least 3 months. These things are all weighed up BEFOREHAND. Is this relationship worth this to me? Is the relationship worth my fiance or their family signing an affadavit of support? Is the relationship worth being with someone who is inevitably going to experience a period of extreme dependency upon me? This is a very serious undertaking. It's got past flirtation and dating and testing the water.

To say that the K1 petition is not as legally-binding as it appears to be is one thing but expecting the beneficiary to go through all of this just so you can decide whether he/she is worth the bother is completely neglectful of what is actually at stake here. I would add to this (as I've said before) that a 90 day timeframe to test a partner's ability before marriage to adjust to the cultural differences and separation from families and friends or practicalities of living in close confines with you is simply insufficient. Someone here, very eloquently stated that a relationship is in constant flux - a fluid process that continues to evolve over years of being together.

Please be careful what you are advising here. I too would say I liked pink if it meant I could be with my SO, but I know we as a couple have stressed over every minor detail of getting this application right. Not taking USCIS seriously could result in us facing a lifetime apart.

[Sinergy 3]

I'd personally just like to get to the 90 days!

And PS I find the pumpkin azz annoying and juvenile, so I turned photos off (thanks to whomever taught me how!)

yea, announcing you hate the pumpkin butt was immature and mean, all you had to do was turn off pics, no need to announce why you did it

[Jenn! 918]

We can say what people *should* do until we're blue in the face. It doesn't change the fact that a lot of people are bringing fiance(e)s over here that they really don't know as well as would be ideal. For people who fall into this category, I think waiting the 90 days and using precaution is not ill-advised. Personally, it's not a situation I would put myself in, but who really cares what *I* think is right?

[Peggy 1]

I knew my husband for almost two years before I moved to the USA.

We were lucky to get to see each other every three months. When I came to the USA to live, I thought we should still wait almost until the 90 days were up just to see how we all (blended family) got along living in the same house. I didnt make that decision because I didnt love my fiancee. I did it to see how things went with us all living together. Having to live with someone is totally different then visits from each other. We all get caught up in the romance on those visits. If anyone says that dont they are full of themselves.

I just didnt want to come here and get married 2 days later just so I could get my AOS sent out so I could start working. That was not our plan.

Everyones plan is different

Thats my opionion

[freecake 0]

Agreed Peggy. Let's be reasonable people, not every relationship is the same.

[jundp 191]

I'd personally just like to get to the 90 days!

And PS I find the pumpkin azz annoying and juvenile, so I turned photos off (thanks to whomever taught me how!)

yea, announcing you hate the pumpkin butt was immature and mean, all you had to do was turn off pics, no need to announce why you did it

Why? People enjoy going on and on around here about "TOS" etc. I find that having a naked rear end in a photo to be cutting quite close to that. Every day I find that there are many examples of rudeness and juvenile behavior on this site. I truly don't feel that my announcement was either. I am also not alone in my opinion, which is why I stated it. I stated nothing directly at the user, only at her choice of photos. You're right, I could have not said anything. But it appears on this site that some people are allowed to say what they choose and others are not. Not cool in my book.

[pushbrk 12,878]

I knew my husband for almost two years before I moved to the USA.

We were lucky to get to see each other every three months. When I came to the USA to live, I thought we should still wait almost until the 90 days were up just to see how we all (blended family) got along living in the same house. I didnt make that decision because I didnt love my fiancee. I did it to see how things went with us all living together. Having to live with someone is totally different then visits from each other. We all get caught up in the romance on those visits. If anyone says that dont they are full of themselves.

I just didnt want to come here and get married 2 days later just so I could get my AOS sent out so I could start working. That was not our plan.

Everyones plan is different

Thats my opionion

Yes, plans and circumstances vary. Yours seem perfectly reasonable. However, I didn't notice anything about stroke loggers and other snooping. I take it also that your plan was a mutual decision, not an "audition".