My name ain't Stella....

[Yaads 0]

War yuh waan tideh Yardie? a pure disrespect dat - mi naah deal wid batty!

Got to pull out all the good Christmas graphics I can't use the other 51 weeks a year

Mi nah waan no war wid yuh...yuh head no right wid di whole late pregnancy ting...yuh would mash me up

Edited December 21, 2007 by Yardiewife

[Jonesie 1]

War yuh waan tideh Yardie? a pure disrespect dat - mi naah deal wid batty!

Got to pull out all the good Christmas graphics I can't use the other 51 weeks a year

Mi nah waan no war wid yuh...yuh head no right wid di whole late pregnancy ting...yuh would mash me up

Yuh naah easy

[phatmadame81 0]

hush you hearrrrrr , you tummy a hurt you , it soon finish okkkkkkkkkk

((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))) to you Jawi..........

well thanks to you........

I took you'lls advice and yesterday before I left the stupid phone started ringing ( mind you I leave at 5 and at 4:56 the phone rang I was sooooooo pissed, but I answered, just in case it was the boss) and you would never guess who it was...............oh yes it was......him on teh other line.........mind you according to him he does not have my work number, he does not know where it is . after I was thruogh cursing him about calling me at work, and doing it right when he knows I am suppose to be leaving I said to him................

MI NUH KNOW WHY MI SIDDUNG YAH A PINE OVAH YOU ALL DEM YAH YEARS..YOU LIKKLE SINTING NEVAH DO A TING FI MI............ ( all said and done, I felt a little hurt after saying it) but, needless to say when I got home I had about 8 messages on my voicemail and he woke me up at 1:30 am, drunk has all get-up...slurring and all. Talking bout....how you a go seh dat bout di I and I................. You hurt mi feelings you nuh.

, I couldn't stop cracking up I came in all laughs this morning

GOOD FOR YOU (((((((((((MADDY)))))))))))!!!!! IS WAH MI TELL YUH!!!!? YARDMEN CAN'T STAND HAVING THERE 'NATURE' AND 'WUK SKILLS' TESTED!!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!! TEK A STAND FOR YOURSELF BABY GURL!!!

BLESSED LOVE AND HUGS FOR YOU!!!

Love ya,

Gill

Thanks hon, I am trying,

Goodafternoon all......

Santa was here visiting today, so I am late.he brought alot for the kids

[Yaads 0]

Goodafternoon all......

Santa was here visiting today, so I am late.he brought alot for the kids

Hello

Santa already visited? Your kids are lucky. Santa visited us here at work but it was WAY awkward

[phatmadame81 0]

That would probably work if he was here.

Gimme a differnet one.

Ok Maddy,

Keep a CD Player near the phone...(If him call yuh inna deh night-)and dancehall CD in it! BEFORE you pick up deh phone blast the Dancehall CD and hold the phone near the CD player! When you seh "Hello' sound ANNOYED & out of breath!!!! "Before 'im even start fi talk just tell him "WHAT!!!!??? Yo, mi cyaan talk to yuh right now! I'm at the club with a 'friend'...chat tuh yuh later!" Han hang-up deh phone BAM!!!

If 'im call henny other time...when you pick up deh phone sound REALLY HAPPY!!!!! LIKE DAMN NEAR GIDDY GURL!! Chat tuh him for a minute (sound distracted as he talks)and be like..."Oh shooks is that the time...Baby-sitter should be here soon. Look, I gotta go!! I still haffi style my hair and put on my make-up!" Trust me he WILL ask yuh where yuh going....Just giggle and say "On a date , Silly! New Year equals NEW ME!!! OK, I really gotta go...lata" BAM (hang-up deh phone!

Truss mi Maddy, I used both of those to TORTURE my ex!!!! When I went to JA. in Feb. my ex called my cell (he didn't know I went to Ja.) When mi see it was him in my caller ID ...I started mek hup 'NOISE' .I pick it up wid an "Ooooooooooo Yea!" *grunt...groan...moan*** (Ken came into the room at that point and I showed him who it was with a wink). Him start mek hup Noise tuh (mi love dat man...him mad like mi! )

With his deep voice "Tek hit Baby!" *Grunt ...Grunt* All now mi nuh seh nuttin to mi ex pon deh phone!!

Finally...I'm like "H...H...H..el-lo"

"GILLIAN... ####### YO!!! WHERE ARE YOU?? WHO DEH HELL IS THAT NIGG...? YO, tell dat Nigg...he is f-ing my WIFE!!!!"

Then Ken said "Come hoffa deh phone and ton back way!!!"(Inna DEEP DEEP VOICE)

My response..."Hmmmm...yeaa Daddy...IIIIEEEE...gimme hit!!" *grunt... moan*..."Mi...a...guh...tell...him*grunt,grunt*...but...it's..HEX-WIFE!!!" BAM!!!!

Gurl...mi cellphone nuh stop RING!!!! Mi neva pick hit hup again! Meantime Ken and myself a dead wid laff!!!! Ken was like "Girl yuh nuh heasy atall!! Dat's why mi love yuh still!"

Bless,

Gill

you crazy nuh rattid (in a good way) , I gonna try this...wwwwwwwwwooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

[jawi876 2]

Toya, Fitz and Jr. sit down to eat breakfast. They enjoy lots of laughs and conversation. Fitz excuses himself from the table to get dressed. Soon, they are riding up the road to his grandmother’s home to drop Fitz off, and get a start on their day.

Fitz and Toya ride in relative silence to the St. Ann Hospital. Toya picks up her phone to call Mya, but there is no answer after three calls.

Toya: Fitz baby. Mya is not answering. I hope that she is not still sleeping. It will take her forever to get dressed if she is.

Fitz: *Fitz’s phone begins ringing* Hold on a sec baby. It’s Rasta. Whaa gwaan Rasta?

Tradee: Mi dere yere mi yout. Look mi and Mya wait pon de docta dem at St. Ann’s. Mya lick de grung a likkle dis mawnin. Nuh man…har alrigh. Mi jus bring har fe mek sure nutten nuh gwaan wid de…ummm…wid har back and foot dem. Nuh everyting criss.

Fitz: Eeehhhnnn? Har alrigh? Respect. Alrigh…mi and Toya headed tuh St. Ann’s now. Oonu need hennyting? Cool. Soon come.

Toya: What happened?

Fitz: Nothing big baby. Mya took a little fall this morning. Rasta is overly concerned and took her to the hospital to make sure everything was okay. They are waiting on the doctor to come and tell them of any news right now. I told him that we will just meet them there.

Toya: Oh no! I hope everything is okay. Mya is never clumpsy. The day is shaping up rather interestingly. Okay. This too shall pass. This too shall pass!

[phatmadame81 0]

[Yardie;

Me jus a come, but the food look good no raahtid. Me cook fry dumplings and cookup saltfish fe a late brekfus this mawning and the only ting missing was the plantain. Tonks me chile.

Where is Gill's birthday cake. Her birthday was today and I did not log on until tonite at work cause my puter acting up. Give her one tomorrow from all a we.

Love Claire

You're welcome I have been stockpiling saltfish and "eating healthy" the last few days so that this whole Christmas weekend I can eat "bad for me" JA food...saltfish, fried dumpling, regular dumpling, christmas cake, gizzada, grater cake, hardough bread, bammy...I am not going to eat one darn vegetable or healthy thing this whole weekend

dang girl......... how you eat "healthy" this time a year?

[Yaads 0]

You're welcome I have been stockpiling saltfish and "eating healthy" the last few days so that this whole Christmas weekend I can eat "bad for me" JA food...saltfish, fried dumpling, regular dumpling, christmas cake, gizzada, grater cake, hardough bread, bammy...I am not going to eat one darn vegetable or healthy thing this whole weekend

dang girl......... how you eat "healthy" this time a year?

Well that is why I wrote "eating healthy" with quotes...cause it isn't really healthy...just healthier than I could be doing

[jawi876 2]

Fitz parks the car in an available space, and walks around to open the car door for Toya. Toya reaches for his hand, and they walk into the hospital. As soon as they enter, Tradee walks up to them.

Tradee: Whaa gwaan bredrin? Morning Toya.

Fitz: Whaa gwaan Rasta?

Toya: Morning Rasta. Where is Mya? Can we see her?

Tradee leads Toya and Fitz to the examination room to see Mya. When they enter, they find Mya lying on her back waiting for the doctor to start an ultrasound test.

Tradee: Mya baby, what’s wrong?

Mya: Hi baby. We were trying to wait on you. The good news is that we are definitely pregnant. *Mya looks back over her head and notices Fitz and Toya for the first time* T…Fitz. Hi. What are you guys doing here? Travis you didn’t get them all excited and worried for nothing did you?

Doctor Ruben: Mya we are ready to start the test now. Do you want your friends to stay?

[clairern 0]

Is she gonna end up preggers too?

Mi his gwaan give oonu a quiz every week. Rememba Melodee is barren from an abortion.

Jawi is getting serious on us...watch out all Give de test! Mi will do fine!

Jawi...how are you doing? Everything alright?

Mi knoa puttus...yuh mi star pupil. Jonesie, Gillie, Kimmy, and Lita always manage tuh find ah way tuh twist de story up wid dem hown versions. Oh and ow can mi forget PhatM.

Cha *kissteet*

Hahahaha

Don't be jealous

Im headtop move more den im batty.

Hey Clairey sweets! *mmmuuuaahhh*

Hey dahling;

How are you doing????? I hope you are not in any pain at all. I sense your spirits are high. I just woke up after working last night and about to get back into bed. I have to be at work tonight at 7pm and need some more sleep. You know I always check this thread to see if you are here. Never mind the story, but everyday my sister calls me and asks "any new installments?". I say wha? then I remember that she is also caught up in this story of yours and I just laugh and say no, you are not feeling too well. She too will be happy to hear that you are feeling better. We talk about you like you are a star, which I know you are. You are the VJ Yardie STAR and we love you dearly. Take it easy and don't overdo it. I hope you have a wonderful, pain-free and merry christmas and may the new year bring you much blessing and new solutions to your medical issue.

Love Claire

[jawi876 2]

Mya: Oh…umm…yeah. It’s fine. I guess you guys would have found out sooner rather than later anyway. We came to the hospital because I fell this morning. I took a pregnancy test last night that was positive. So, we just wanted to be sure that everything was okay.

Toya: Oh My! Why didn’t you call me? I can’t believe it! You are the last person I would have suspected of being pregnant. Ha-ha.

Tradee: What are you testing?

Doctor Ruben: This is a standard ultrasound test. The ultrasound test will allow me to get a visual of the embryo in your wife’s womb. We would not normally give one so early, but we wanted to err on the side of caution with Mya’s small fall this morning. Please keep in mind that you guys will probably not be able to see anything because of your untrained eye. I will try to point the embryo out if I can. So, let’s get started.

Mya, I’m going to place a get on your stomach. It will be cold and slightly uncomfortable at first.

Mya: Okay. I’m ready Doctor Ruben.

Tradee grabs Mya’s hand, and uses his thumb to stroke the back of her hand. His eyes are trained and bulging from his intense scrutiny of the black and white monitor. Toya stands in front of Fitz, and they are also carefully tuned into the images appearing on the monitor. Fitz places his arms around Toya’s waist, and pulls her back against him. The doctor and nurse work in silence for a few minutes, occasionally capturing still images of the inside of Mya’s womb. When the doctor is satisfied with his findings, he magnifies the image on the screen and uses an ink pen to point out the small circle in one corner of the screen.

Doctor Ruben: Can you all see this small circle in the corner? Well, this is the embryo. This embryo or egg will grow over time into your fetus or baby. Mya and Travis, there doesn’t appear to be any imminent danger for your baby. However, I want you to take it easy for the rest of your vacation, and follow up with a doctor at home in the States as soon as possible.

If you notice any cramping or spotting, please return immediately. I hope that you will find the time to relax on our beautiful Jamaican beaches and sip on virgin daquiris. *The nurse begins to roughly swipe at the gel remaining on Mya’s stomach.*

Mya: Doctor Ruben, you have been wonderful. However, your nurse needs a few remedial lessons in bedside manner!

Doctor Ruben: I’m sorry? What’s wrong? What happened? Nurse Belford is there a problem?

Nurse Belford: Nuh sar. I’m sorry Ma’am for my carelessness. Please excuse me.

Doctor Ruben: I assure you that I will address her behaviour. Now, I will leave you to get dressed. You are free to leave afterwards if you do not have any further questions for me. Dad, take good care of Mommy and baby okay?

Tradee: *Tradee reaches out to shake the doctor’s hand* Thank you doctor. We will follow your advice to the letter. Thank you.

[phatmadame81 0]

**********FRIDAY CHUCKLE**********

We made it to another Friday ya'll!!!

Congrats Kimmy & Jordan!! (again)

Ok, I've been saving this one for tiddeh special...cause I know many of us wouldn't be around next Monday! To My WONDERFUL WONDERFUL VJ Family...I wish you all a Very MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A BLESS-ED BLESS-ED NEW YEAR!!!

I HAVE NOTHING BUT LOVE FOR ALL OF YOU!!!!

Ok, mushy stuff done...on tuh deh chuckle

***************************************************************************

Dear Santa,

I know you probably wondering why I writing yuh one day after Christmas but after opening mi present dem yestiday, I just had was to write yuh. Santa, mi was a very good girl all year round. Mi listen to mi madda when she talk to mi and mi help out wid di chores dem round de house. Mi even help di neighba pickney dem do fi dem chores tuh. One day mi all help out di old crasses Mr. George, the blind an cripple one, crass the road when di odda children dem just ah watch him an dida tek gamble pon what kind of cyar did ah go lick him dung. Santa, dem just lef him deh fi dead, but mi help him out.

Santa mi studied real hard in school this year, so hard till mi all come fuss inna di class. Mi mek it mi duty to be nice and not naughty Santa. Mi was so good. Ah real good girl Santa. Santa when mi write mi Christmas list to yuh dis year, mi ask yuh fi a Barbie princess doll, ah Barbie kitchen, ah Dora the Explorer computer game, ah cyabbage patch doll and ah monopoly game.

So Santa, how the blood claat after reading mi list yuh leave under di Christmas tree ah phukking light up yo-yo, one plastic tea-cup set and ah phukking no name dolly dat look like she have polio and ah dead from AIDS?

Santa is either yuh blind or yuh cyah blood claat read!!! Every year mi say mi woulda stop believing in yuh and like ah dyam fool mi always give yuh ah next chance, but not ah phukking-gain, yuh hear mi Santa? Not a bloodclaat. Yuh hear whe mi sah Santa? Yuh phukking fat red rass yuh.Yuh see all nex year, yuh betta dont try squeeze yuh big fat batty thru mi louvres dem, because Santa mi swear mi going phukk yuh up. It going to be mi, yuh and dis sharp blood claat knife, so mi can jukk yuh inna yuh belly.

Yuh hear mi sah? Mi ah go stab up yuh Bloodcaat.

Imagine, yuh give that likkle ####### eye gyal Sally from crass di road everything that she ax fah. So much so dat she all nuh have nuh room fi walk round har house.

Yuh see all nex year Santa, mi will be back to mi good old self. Dat's right Santa. Mi naar go giv mi madda nuh trouble or cause nuh havoc roun'ere . And Santa, a goin wait pon you patiently ... mi goin wait pon yuh paitently with ah big blood claat rock stone fi yuh backside. And den when yuh and dem blasted reindeer dat favour some dyam oversize goat wid tree branch ah grow otta dem head top, com ho-ho hoing down pon I old rusty zinc nex Christmas ... BOOP!!!!! Is one rass lick inna yuh blood claat head.

Santa mi goin' done yuh blood claat, Memba dat yuh hear Santa. Try Memba dat!!

Love

Likkle Keisha

lawd god I am dying reading this, I had to call the nurse to read it to.....we were both dying , good one, real good one

[phatmadame81 0]

Claire go sleep u no tiyad..u jus come in...Kimora is a trip Gill...u affi meet har one day

Bwoy, mi wouldda like dat! We should try to plan a NY area Yardie VJ link up inna deh 2008!

Gill

Yeah that is a great idea.

[phatmadame81 0]

Tonks. I'm nervous about bringing him home but can't wait to see him

Jonesie you are going to be a fabulous mom and I know Drew will be a great father I am still praying he will come on his own this weekend so you can be home with him and family on Christmas! If not then I pray that your Christmas is wonderful even if it is in the hospital. Love you girl!

I agree 100%

Maddy

[phatmadame81 0]

Good Morning Family

Thank goodness today is Friday cause I couldn't take one more blasted day

First off...HAPPY BIRTHDAY GILL!!!

And I just had to share this one that I found:

I died laughing I just couldn't help it

Yes, a link-up would be good, something we can take the kids too, as I have no babysitter

If you all plan a link up give me plenty of time to save up the airfare for that cross country flight I will need way advance notice

that cake looks beautiful, but lawd i am cracking up from it, I would probaly choke on everybite...come to think of it I should send P one........ , unnu a rube off pon mi