My name ain't Stella....

[clairern 0]

CORPORATE HOLIDAY MEMO:

December 1st

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take

place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be

lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols.

Feel free to sing along! And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up

dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of

gifts among employees can be done at that time. No gift should be

over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 2nd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish

employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that

often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this

year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."

The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at

this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols

sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 3rd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics

Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate

this request. However, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table

that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition,

forget about the gifts exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the

union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis

Human Researchers Director

----------------------

December 7th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest

from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the

restrooms. All Gay men are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not

have to sit with the gay men; each will have their own table. Yes,

there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy

now?

Patty Lewis

Human Racehorses Director

----------------------

December 9th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO

to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to

be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in

a red suit."

Patty Lewis

Human Ratraces

----------------------

December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians --I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold

this party at Luigi's Open Pit, whether you like it or not. You can

just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you

put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic

tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream

when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right

now...Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

Patty Lewis

----------------------

December 14th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy

recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward

your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management

has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the

afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Terri Bishop

Acting Human Resources Director

Good one!

[Forever Young 1]

CORPORATE HOLIDAY MEMO:

December 1st

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take

place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be

lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols.

Feel free to sing along! And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up

dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of

gifts among employees can be done at that time. No gift should be

over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 2nd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish

employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that

often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this

year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."

The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at

this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols

sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 3rd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics

Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate

this request. However, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table

that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition,

forget about the gifts exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the

union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis

Human Researchers Director

----------------------

December 7th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest

from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the

restrooms. All Gay men are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not

have to sit with the gay men; each will have their own table. Yes,

there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy

now?

Patty Lewis

Human Racehorses Director

----------------------

December 9th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO

to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to

be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in

a red suit."

Patty Lewis

Human Ratraces

----------------------

December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians --I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold

this party at Luigi's Open Pit, whether you like it or not. You can

just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you

put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic

tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream

when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right

now...Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

Patty Lewis

----------------------

December 14th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy

recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward

your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management

has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the

afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Terri Bishop

Acting Human Resources Director

Good one!

DITTO!!! ...That gave me a GOOD LAUGH!!!!

[Forever Young 1]

so last night we're watching the news and hear about two guys that escaped from prison in new jersey, they used a piece of wire to dig a tunnel through cement blocks, than used a piece of pipe for something else and crawled thru the tunnel to the roof and jumped from the roof across 15 feet over barbed wire and down 30 feet.

after the person finishes saying everything they did to escape. mr jengles turns to me and says "see dem two man deh, me nah ramp wid dem" I almost fell of the couch

...Yah I heard about that on LI...Mi nuh blame Missa Jengs ATALL!! Mi wouldn't waan fi buck hup does two hennytime soon! Crazy!!!

Gill

Edited December 18, 2007 by Deyoungting

[SupportOAFJF 0]

"Madame"..nothing I say or anyone for that matter will make things better until time has healed your ache, only then will it really get better. How old is ur son ? how is ur SO dealing ? Holidays are tough u gotta pull it together and hold ur boy, cause remember he can sense your emotions...try to be strong and hang in there...this too shall pass..only salvation lasts forever...so much much hugs and to yah...mi deh pon di gully slide wid u zeen !!

Jengles..that was pretty funny

[phatmadame81 0]

hahahaa..Gill u too funny...Vj nah pay fi di yah Masters ..so, until den all A papers...ahahahaa

wid u mad self

THAT'S ROY-IGHT!!!!

Love yah...yuh doan nuh mi mad from lang time!

Bless- Bless,

Gill

long long time ...how the boys ?

Dem good..ah drive mi bloodcl**t crazy cause dem keep switching up wah dem waan fi Christmas...it's about to be a pissa coal in a second!! Surfing ebay all mawning looking fi one likkle foo-foo video game... Den mi git a "revised" letter tuh Santa yesterday hasking for a Wii!!! Mi haffi give hit tuh dem straight...Santa mailbox LACKHOFF!!! :angry: A wait til last minute fi spring sittin like dat pon poor Santa!!

How bout Kimora...wah she looking for?

Gill

that is too cute, a revised letter from Santa...my child don't know nothing bout no santa list...he came home a chat bout Kwanza...

That is so funny, because mine did the same...Kwanzee this Kwanza that................

Hear him: Mommy you cel-bar-a- teeeee Kwan ( I was cracking up)

So I said spell what you talking about he said qurbzs ( he is the funniest), it is a good thing he is only 5 or I would have some serious problemssssssssss

My son came in today and said, my christmas tree is so small I want you to decorate it more, oh yeah tell Santa that he should becareful and not knock it over with his stomach..........I was dying.........

How you ladies holding up..........8 days more to go, and then it is Christmas....

Jawi how ar eyou?

JOnesie....how are you doing???????

Gill hush you can't help it with kids, watch and see even Christams day they gonna ask for somethign else. Fi i him dis a get the Leapster l-mas the leapfrog tv game and some games for his gameboy and Playstsion 2wwith a few other EDUCATIONAL toys............

How does your son like the leapfrog stuff, my son only likes it when the cartridges have charcacters from the TV i.e. Diego, dora and stuff like that. I'm replacing his V-tech learning system for x-mas, he thinks he's playing video games and I don't let him think any differently. he's getting the transformers voice changer for x-mas, funny how he knows all about transformers and didn't even see the movie.

He has not seen them yet, I told him that Santa was getting him the stuff and whatever he saw in my closets( yeah I know that little boy goes through my closet, he thinks I don't know ) belongs to his cousin.

He has seen it advertise and I should him pictures ( I said santa email me them and want to know if tha tis what he wants, he liked them but asked for spiderman games to go with it..( I got him the spiderman cartridge and scooby doo).

I am looking on gamestop for some cartridge to go withteh gameboy advance and the playstation 2.. he should be happy.

Looking at it these kids get a lot, remeber when we were younger and we had to get grass from outside in the yard to make a doll ( those where the days-when things were easy).

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Marie where have you been

I was so busy with finals but I'm done now. Just a gwan easy still

good for u at least u get a likkle break

[phatmadame81 0]

CORPORATE HOLIDAY MEMO:

December 1st

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take

place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be

lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols.

Feel free to sing along! And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up

dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of

gifts among employees can be done at that time. No gift should be

over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 2nd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish

employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that

often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this

year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."

The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at

this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols

sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 3rd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics

Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate

this request. However, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table

that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition,

forget about the gifts exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the

union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis

Human Researchers Director

----------------------

December 7th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest

from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the

restrooms. All Gay men are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not

have to sit with the gay men; each will have their own table. Yes,

there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy

now?

Patty Lewis

Human Racehorses Director

----------------------

December 9th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO

to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to

be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in

a red suit."

Patty Lewis

Human Ratraces

----------------------

December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians --I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold

this party at Luigi's Open Pit, whether you like it or not. You can

just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you

put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic

tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream

when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right

now...Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

Patty Lewis

----------------------

December 14th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy

recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward

your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management

has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the

afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Terri Bishop

Acting Human Resources Director

Oh my god I am dying here, this is hilarious.

I need these

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Madame...I just saw ur siggy and I'm sorry, u don't have to answer me...I totally understand

Did Jonsie have the baby yet

Where is Jawi..mi affi go call her

Edited December 18, 2007 by kimmykashi

[phatmadame81 0]

phatmadam

breakups are hard and can take years to get over and yes sometimes the feelings are there to go back and to make sure you are doing the right thing..but only you know that..

now we both know that little son of yours is totally innocent and needs Mommy now more than ever to let him know that everything is right in the world...get into the celebration for him and pay him lots of extra attention and start some new traditions if possible..

I know that I do not need to go back and try to fix anything with him...he a liar a cheater he is just a low down dirty ........forget it

I know he is innocent to this all, but I am just so out of it

I know he needs me more than ever,but I can only give sooooooo much. I have prpide myself on being the best mom ever, but this Christmas this few upcoming months/years might not be my best.. I am trying to get into the celebration but I still want to have that other person there for me, I sound selfish i know but .oh sh!t I feel like breaking down .

[phatmadame81 0]

Mornin everyone! It feels so good to be on school holiday but I won't be in JA cuz the plane fare too dare

Gill - When is rebel salute? And do you know the line up for this year? I've never been and my SO says its always a good show.

Hey Marie...welcome back!! Studies and school work done!!?? Not Skylarking like some people wi knoa...right?

Rebel Salute is January 12, 2008 in St Elizabeth. they announce the official line up on December 27, 2007. However, it is the 15th year Anniversary and everybody is banging pon Tony Rebel door fi git in! I just waan fi knoa seh Jah Cure a guh be dehso!! I CAN'T WAIT!!! Although mi arready tell Ken...mi a guh haffi eat good before wi guh...cause dem nuh ave NO MEAT ATALL!!!! Strictly Veg, fruit and 'ERB !!

Bless-ed,

Gill

Thanks for the info. I'll have school but if Air Jamaica has any special I'll try go for the wknd. But I would LOVE to see Jah Cure

If you go down enjoy the sun for me too......

Madame...I just saw ur siggy and I'm sorry, u don't have to answer me...I totally understand

Did Jonsie have the baby yet

Where is Jawi..mi affi go call her

Thanks Kimmy,

I am here holding on.can't do anything about it really it was inevitable....

[phatmadame81 0]

"Madame"..nothing I say or anyone for that matter will make things better until time has healed your ache, only then will it really get better. How old is ur son ? how is ur SO dealing ? Holidays are tough u gotta pull it together and hold ur boy, cause remember he can sense your emotions...try to be strong and hang in there...this too shall pass..only salvation lasts forever...so much much hugs and to yah...mi deh pon di gully slide wid u zeen !!

Jengles..that was pretty funny

Thanks ladies, I really need this support.

I wish I could speed up time fo this to get better, I do, I cann't stand being in this slump. My baby is 5 ( I better not let him hear me say that, he would chew my head off). I could careless how that two-timing no good SOB is dealing.

I am getting teary eyed reading your post. Thanks Gill.

UI am gonna use this to benifit me, once all this is done I promise myself that I am gonna make a come back I am gonna loose all the weight I put on with him and not do a Mya but just enjoy life......Thanks fi joining mi ooman.

It is funny because I just realize that you guys know more about me and my situation than my family ( I just don't want to hear the I told you so speech)

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Thanks Kimmy,

I am here holding on.can't do anything about it really it was inevitable....

ALWAYS !!

[JA Tam 7]

Lawd ah massi...JAWI, MI REACH, 2000+ post fi read. Whoaiii, weh mi ah go do. Time to get to di reading. I will see you all on page 140+ in a few days (mi read faass)...pray fi mi...

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Lawd ah massi...JAWI, MI REACH, 2000+ post fi read. Whoaiii, weh mi ah go do. Time to get to di reading. I will see you all on page 140+ in a few days (mi read faass)...pray fi mi...

AHAHAA...By di time u done read and post u reach 2 hearts...ahahaa

[JA Tam 7]

Lawd ah massi...JAWI, MI REACH, 2000+ post fi read. Whoaiii, weh mi ah go do. Time to get to di reading. I will see you all on page 140+ in a few days (mi read faass)...pray fi mi...

AHAHAA...By di time u done read and post u reach 2 hearts...ahahaa

Mi ah go TRY lock mi mout till mi up to date...mi so behine...