The Vent

[Krikit 1,164]

You can tell if she is insanely controlling or just laid back. You can sometimes even tell if a marriage will last. A woman who is going to scream at you for not returning her call within 5 minutes is a nutcase and will probably remain a nutcase. A woman who understands you have other clients but knows she is one of your many priorities is probably a good find.

Weddings are stressful sure, but they don't have to be. I believe that women get rude because they feel they have a right to be rude because its "Their day". I left the wedding industry because there were just too many nuts. I ended up in the hospital due to extreme stress.

Wow. I'm glad you got out of it then, Nevada.

Though, the most beautiful wedding I have ever assisted with was one with a cartoon like simpsons theme. We all laughed at how childish it was, but these two people... wow. Their love radiated through the room and you just felt it that night. I can't explain it, they certainly did find absolute true love with eachother, I even cried.

Awwww. That's lovely.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I feel like because it's family I have to stick it out.... it's a long story but there was a lot of drama this weekend over something that happened. I put my two sense in, she got mad, etc. etc.

Her wedding isn't for another 8 months and she's already having panic attacks and I saw her neck get a rash on saturday while at the bridal shop.

I'm not into drama...her wedding is not my priority but she wants it to be? Eh. I'm so over it.

Why don't you just offer to provide advice over the phone? Maybe that won't work if your future sister-in-law is in the same city as you, but if she's not, you could opt to do that. This way you're not bailing on her, but you don't have to deal with the craziness in person and, in a worst case scenario, make an excuse to get off the phone.

[Sprailenes 47]

Me too, though I have been talking to a planner in Philadelphia who may want to take me on part time. But it would be decorating mostly and thats it, he would be dealing with the brides head on:P

I have a love/hate relationship with it. The good brides really do make it worth it.

But I lost my hair, got extreme stomach aches, panic episodes... one time I wanted to leave work so bad I condidered throwing myself down the stairs just to get a few days off.

My son wasn't a priority, my job was, there were days when I wouldn't see him, or anyone. Sometimes I would sleep at the hotel and just wake up at the hotel. Its no life to lead. I have never and will ever put my career in front of my loved ones.... ever again.

[Sprailenes 47]

Anyways, Amanda... you need to put this bride in her place, or take her aside and let her know her behaviour is out of line. If she is like this now, imagine what it will be like in the weeks before the wedding?? Man I feel for your brother in law marrying such a woman. I wish all the brides I worked with were family so I could tell the b1tches where to go.

[SpiritAlight 1]

Wow Sprailenes. That sounded like absolute hellll...I cannot believe you put yourself through that.

And what a place to learn how to deal with people.

[DeadPoolX 9]

Anyways, Amanda... you need to put this bride in her place, or take her aside and let her know her behaviour is out of line. If she is like this now, imagine what it will be like in the weeks before the wedding?? Man I feel for your brother in law marrying such a woman. I wish all the brides I worked with were family so I could tell the b1tches where to go.

If this bride is as nuts as she sounds, then irritating her may not be the best solution. At best, this incident will come back to family somehow and might cause a discussion revolving around, "Why are you upsetting so-and-so?" At worst, she may go psycho on you.

You could always choose the "phoning in advice" option that I suggested before or go talk to your brother-in-law. Regardless, I'd avoid direct confrontation with someone who's going ape$hit.

[thetreble 19]

Well here is the story. *knows this will be long to explain*

Lacy is an interesting character. She is a nice girl but very spoiled. We are the same age, she still lives with her parents and does not work. She goes to school full time which is paid for, as well as her car, her insurance, etc. So you can just imagine how dependent she is at this point in her life.

Fast forward, she bothers my BIL so much to get engaged, he finally puts a ring on her finger. Not just any ring, a 13k, hand crafted piece of bling. (it's gorgeous)

They set their date for 2010 (which I said would never happen as she would little by little force him to get wed in 2009, giving him any excuse as to why it didn't make sense to wait two years to get married...)

Fast forward a few months...2009 it is...she's a real champ.

We have now been hearing about her wedding since the DAY she got engaged. She has a 3 inch binder full of clippings, pictures, etc. about what she wants.

She has literally ruined my BIL's life as of now. She calls him multiple times a day, stressed out, mad that he isn't taking the interest she wants him to.

This is a $50,000 wedding. A three day event.

I drove 2.5 hours to her house friday night to meet her other bridesmaids. My sister in law, Elyse, is currently working on a cruise ship so she was unable to attend.

Lacy asked Elyse to get measured for a dress and send her the measurements. She did. They were wrong.

So Lacy is freaking out at the bridal shop, she is having a panic attack, I'm telling her it's no big deal, her friends are making it worse by being like, "oh she's way smaller than that..those can't be right.." Her sister calls my sister in law a b itch.

She's calling Chris...mad and complaining...making a complete #### out of herself...

Any way, yesterday she texts me and I text her back saying that her friends and family need to back off and I don't want o hear any negative stuff about Elyse. I tell her I won't be involved if things continue to get so out of hand like this. She gets upset and calls Chris.

Chris calls me.

Chris tells me she is driving him nuts and everything is so out of control so if I can just not say anything period it would help him. I feel bad and tell him that I understand what he is saying, but she's driving every one nuts with her bridezilla mentality.

She isn't even focused on the marriage...just the wedding. It makes me shake my head..she has no clue what shes in for.

[thetreble 19]

Also, I will now only do phone stuff and no in person stuff. I want my dress sent to me and I will do my own alterations.

[Sprailenes 47]

You know, I try to tell people ALL of time to not sweat the petty things. All of those TINY details are really not going to matter, and if I had a dollar for every bride who FINALLY realizes that on her wedding day, I'd have been a millionaire.

Amanda, I strongly suggest you just continue to stand your ground, this girl sounds like she is out of control and she really needs to stop getting so upset... perhaps she should hire a planner to assist her and take a load off of her shoulders. Its not worth it!

She probably dreamed of being a princess and thats her dream and if she can make her dream a reality, than good for her, but don't drag people down to the depths of hell while doing so.

(((HUGS))) I'm assuming at 50 grand it'll be an open bar... look forward to it.

[Mephys 2]

Wow that's crazy. Talk about a spoiled little brat that is so selfish she is willing to ruin a lot more just to have "her perfect day".

I hate when people forget what marriage is really about. I am so happy I had my 1000$ wedding, was so perfect

I would do the same treble, do go there anymore because you will get hurt!

Edited January 20, 2009 by Mephys

[thetreble 19]

I'm just not willing to feel bad about it for days or have to watch what I say. It's so hard when it is family because I also don't want people bad mouthing me to my inlaws saying that I'm not co-operating. I feel like im being pulled. My dress was $210.00 WITHOUT alternations. Between shoes, dress, shower gift, wedding gift, hotel, my husband and I are looking at about 1500.

My commute is long. So on Friday when i went to her house, by the time I got there I had driven 5 hours that day. That is a lot to ask of someone just to get measured.

Also, she got every single piece of cooking equipment you can imagine for christmas. (she has no house.) So I don't know what I'm supposed to buy her for her wedding??

I'm just so done with it all. I love my sister in law and we have a good relationship. I don't want any one badmouthing her for a silly reason like her measurements are wrong.

If you can't make it through something like that, how will you make it through life?

[Sprailenes 47]

First of all, she pressured your brother in law through all of this it seems. She has been getting her way for this long. Pressuring him for a ring, pressuring him for an early date. How the is your BIL coping?? I imagine its really hard for him.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I'm just not willing to feel bad about it for days or have to watch what I say. It's so hard when it is family because I also don't want people bad mouthing me to my inlaws saying that I'm not co-operating. I feel like im being pulled. My dress was $210.00 WITHOUT alternations. Between shoes, dress, shower gift, wedding gift, hotel, my husband and I are looking at about 1500.

My commute is long. So on Friday when i went to her house, by the time I got there I had driven 5 hours that day. That is a lot to ask of someone just to get measured.

Also, she got every single piece of cooking equipment you can imagine for christmas. (she has no house.) So I don't know what I'm supposed to buy her for her wedding??

I'm just so done with it all. I love my sister in law and we have a good relationship. I don't want any one badmouthing her for a silly reason like her measurements are wrong.

If you can't make it through something like that, how will you make it through life?

How's this?

[thetreble 19]

Might make it to the list, Deadpool!

I feel sorry for my BIL but hey, he agreed to marry her! He has set himself up for a whole life of this ######. It won't stop with the wedding. Next stop on this chaos train is the house, and then furniture, and then kids...and then...

He sounded like he was having a nervous breakdown when he called me to be honest. He said he didn't know what to do any more. A clear sign you shouldn't b e marrying her.

[Sprailenes 47]

Very true.

And the sunny side: You don't have to be married to her.