The Vent

[Sprailenes 47]

Agreed in highschool my husband started at 7:30 in the morning! Sheesh! And it was only because there was not enough buses for each county, and they had to share so his school district got the crappy end of the stick.

My sons bus doesn't pick him up until 8:30 but when he starts middle school it will be 7:30.

When kids are growing they NEED sleep! Teenagers don't sleep long because they're lazy, its because they need it. I think making kids get up earlier and earlier is part of the problem too. Especially in middle and highschool with homework and all. Its ridiculous.

I feel super alone in this situation though because even my husband thinks my son needs to be on medication. My husband told me this morning that I am making excuses for Ethan. Maybe I am? I don't know. I am not denying his issue, but I am trying to find other ways to cope. Though my husbands mother is on tons of meds, and she had both him and his brother on ritalin too. I guess he grew up around pills so he sees nothing wrong with it.

Edited January 8, 2009 by Sprailenes

[Flames9_RN 358]

ya, we had the discussion in class about the body requirements for sleep are. And yes kids/ teenagers need a lot of sleep, yet here, they start school soo early!! Doesn't make much sense

[trailmix 77]

Agreed in highschool my husband started at 7:30 in the morning! Sheesh! And it was only because there was not enough buses for each county, and they had to share so his school district got the crappy end of the stick.

My sons bus doesn't pick him up until 8:30 but when he starts middle school it will be 7:30.

When kids are growing they NEED sleep! Teenagers don't sleep long because they're lazy, its because they need it. I think making kids get up earlier and earlier is part of the problem too. Especially in middle and highschool with homework and all. Its ridiculous.

I feel super alone in this situation though because even my husband thinks my son needs to be on medication. My husband told me this morning that I am making excuses for Ethan. Maybe I am? I don't know. I am not denying his issue, but I am trying to find other ways to cope. Though my husbands mother is on tons of meds, and she had both him and his brother on ritalin too. I guess he grew up around pills so he sees nothing wrong with it.

This is just my personal opinion, of course, but I think drugging children is a horrible horrible practice.

[Krikit 1,164]

Isn't that weird? I was beginning to think my husband and his family were the only ones who thought taking drugs for every little thing was okay. I was brought up the exact opposite. My son was pretty hyper growing up. I got him into a behavioural modification program at two years old. I also discovered that certain types of foods (actually the chemicals and sugars in the foods) made him go a bit rangy, so I eliminated them from his diet. What a difference. I would monitor what he ate and how his behaviour changed, or didn't as the case may be. In kindergarten his teacher hated him. And I hated her. Her remarks on his reports would be along the lines of "uses too much glue" "colours outside the lines". #######? During a parent-teacher interview I told her he would be attending french immersion school. She nearly had a meltdown and told me he wasn't smart enough to be schooled in french and would never amount to anything. Uh huh. Well, he did just fine in french immersion and is now fluent. He was an honour student in high school and received scholarships to university. He chose York. He continued to receive scholarships throughout his honours degree program. He is now a successful, highly intelligent, and well adjusted young man. Yeah. I've done my time with the school system. It was a blast. Not.

[Sprailenes 47]

I do as well, I understand in extreme cases that sometimes it is needed but I do not think my son is an extreme case.

I got into a huge argument last year about it with my MIL about medications and I told her that there wasn't a pill in the world that could fix her.

Its frustrating when people don't want to look beyond it though, ritalin/concerta etc isn't a cure.

But again, its a prozac nation and I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall.

[Sprailenes 47]

I also think its funny that my husband says that ritalin worked for him in school but basically made him shut down with his peers turning him into a social retard.

I don't even know what to make of the term: ADD. When you look at the symptoms they seem so wide and all over the place and I imagine that its hard to nail down a diagnosis.

Ethan doesn't focus on boring subjects. So lets make the boring subjects more hands on and fun. Why can't they do more of that? Don't teachers and schools begin to question why so many children are no longer focusing. In a class of 15, seven of the kids have difficulty focusing the teacher told me in November. SEVEN!!!?? I dunno about you guys, but that tells me that theres more to the puzzle than just an "inability to focus".

[trailmix 77]

I also think its funny that my husband says that ritalin worked for him in school but basically made him shut down with his peers turning him into a social retard.

I don't even know what to make of the term: ADD. When you look at the symptoms they seem so wide and all over the place and I imagine that its hard to nail down a diagnosis.

Ethan doesn't focus on boring subjects. So lets make the boring subjects more hands on and fun. Why can't they do more of that? Don't teachers and schools begin to question why so many children are no longer focusing. In a class of 15, seven of the kids have difficulty focusing the teacher told me in November. SEVEN!!!?? I dunno about you guys, but that tells me that theres more to the puzzle than just an "inability to focus".

Absolutely.

I don't know much about ADD or ADHD - I did go and have a look at their website and it just kind of reinforced what I had heard. The symptoms are so vague and so universal, when talking about kids.

Who decided ADHD is a disorder? Did it somehow miraculous happen that so many children became 'uncontrollable' and 'unruly' - umm no. This leads me to believe that it is convenient for adults to drug children.

When you said that earlier, Sprailenes, about Ethan not doing well in the 'boring' subjects, I wasn't surprised at all. Other subjects are generally more interesting therefore it is not so hard to hold someones attention with them.

Could they make math more interesting - of course they could - however teachers, in general are not necessarily given a calling, if you know what I mean.

Take a look around your office today. There is the gossip, the troublemaker, the whiner, the person who runs around with a folder under her arm, flapping her hands like she is so busy if you get in her way she will have to mow you down (while in fact doing basically nothing).

Of that group there are a few 'good eggs', who actually care about what they are doing.

I assume that a group of teachers is no different - some genuinely love their work - and care about the success of the children they are teaching - some don't.

Edited January 8, 2009 by trailmix

[Ban Hammer 13,336]

*sigh... I really try hard not to let this particular issue bother me.. and I really really try hard to not to allow myself this kind of rant about my husband's ex.. but HONESTLY...

Since hubby & I have been married she's been on 3 major vacations.. and is currently planning another cruise.. she also was talking to hubby last night about traveling while she takes a "break" from the kids this summer..

I'm not at all opposed to her taking holidays.. but the thing that gets me is that we give her SOOO much money on child support (3x's the amount that is in the child support order) and she is always asking for more for this expense or that expense.. add on top of that all the travel $$ that we spend to get hubby there and back, and we haven't been able to afford even a weekend away for ourselves. We can't afford anything extra at this point *sigh.. golly gee whiz... It makes me feel like we are funding her vacations.. (I know that's irrational, but it's where I"m at this am).

paying more than what is court ordered can be financially risky, as later on she can go back to court to try to raise the ordered amount of payment. as you are paying 3 times that, you might find it's double the original amount.

Well at one point she was threatening to take him back to court as he wouldn't pay for a nanny.. saying that he was still paying less than what the State (she had switched states at the time) would allow.. They had some sort of point system thingy in GA that was convoluted and favored the primary guardian... We are trying to keep everything away from the courts.. that's the goal and some of the rationale behind working out the support sans a court order.. but at times it gets rediculous..

if the divorce took place in georgia, then odds are georgia will retain jurisdiction in the case for child support. otherwise, we'd see everyone moving to california or another similar state just so they can up the child support.

what state is she in now?

[Ban Hammer 13,336]

oh and for those going thru this fiasco with schools, i learned this from my mom, who was a schoolteacher until she passed away: schools are quick to try to classify a kid as a special needs in any way they can as the school gets more money from the state (at least in texas this was the case, may well apply to other states too).

[Emancipation 2]

*sigh... I really try hard not to let this particular issue bother me.. and I really really try hard to not to allow myself this kind of rant about my husband's ex.. but HONESTLY...

Since hubby & I have been married she's been on 3 major vacations.. and is currently planning another cruise.. she also was talking to hubby last night about traveling while she takes a "break" from the kids this summer..

I'm not at all opposed to her taking holidays.. but the thing that gets me is that we give her SOOO much money on child support (3x's the amount that is in the child support order) and she is always asking for more for this expense or that expense.. add on top of that all the travel $$ that we spend to get hubby there and back, and we haven't been able to afford even a weekend away for ourselves. We can't afford anything extra at this point *sigh.. golly gee whiz... It makes me feel like we are funding her vacations.. (I know that's irrational, but it's where I"m at this am).

paying more than what is court ordered can be financially risky, as later on she can go back to court to try to raise the ordered amount of payment. as you are paying 3 times that, you might find it's double the original amount.

Well at one point she was threatening to take him back to court as he wouldn't pay for a nanny.. saying that he was still paying less than what the State (she had switched states at the time) would allow.. They had some sort of point system thingy in GA that was convoluted and favored the primary guardian... We are trying to keep everything away from the courts.. that's the goal and some of the rationale behind working out the support sans a court order.. but at times it gets rediculous..

if the divorce took place in georgia, then odds are georgia will retain jurisdiction in the case for child support. otherwise, we'd see everyone moving to california or another similar state just so they can up the child support.

what state is she in now?

no no.. the divorce took place in DE... she then moved to GA and now is in LA.. (LONNNNNNGGG Story there)..

interesting.. my hubby has not consulted a lawyer this whole time.. perhaps that was a great big mistake. His thought was that if he was ever dragged into court a judge would take his paying extra child support as a sign that he was trying to do the right thing and being as generous as he could be.. *sigh...

[SapphireDreams 71]

^^ Sounds like your hubby is really trying to do the right thing, but a lawyer might really help your family. If anything, it will make his ex take him more seriously. Sometimes you just need that third party.

Nevada - I hope everything works out with Ethan.

Vent: I can never get through to Dr. Seiden's office to book a medical. I left a voicemail and the woman called me back when I was in a meeting. I hate phone tag!!!!

[Reeena 0]

Jeeze I keep forgetting I need to call and book the hubbys medical, but I never remember to bring the number to work with me...

[TheATeam 0]

I have to say I'm surprised at how everything and everyone seems to be medicated for something or other down here. One woman I was talking to told me she went to the doctor sick and he asked her what kind of antibiotic she wanted. I thought that was pretty ridiculous. I thought they were supposed to know what to give! Another woman was saying she just goes to the doctor and tells her that she wants whatever drug she's seen on the tv commercials or researched on the internet. I guess that just kind of strikes me as weird.

I agree that children shouldn't be medicated unless it's an extreme case. I'm not sure if teachers just couldn't be bothered to make the extra effort to help kids who need extra, or they really don't have the time/resources. Maybe it's a bit of both. 7 out of 15 kids having a problem speaks to the effectiveness of that particular teacher and teaching method, in my opinion.

Good luck Sprailenes! I hope you get it all worked out. Your son sounds very bright and intelligent. Hopefully you'll be able to figure out a way that school can nurture that for him instead of stifle it!

[trailmix 77]

Jeeze I keep forgetting I need to call and book the hubbys medical, but I never remember to bring the number to work with me...

The names and phone numbers for panel physician's in Canada is on the Canada VJWiki page if that helps?

Canada page - VJWiki

[thetreble 19]

Who decided ADHD is a disorder? Did it somehow miraculous happen that so many children became 'uncontrollable' and 'unruly' - umm no. This leads me to believe that it is convenient for adults to drug children.

Well there is ADHD and ADD. ADHD is hyperactive and believe me, I have worked with hyperactive kids as a teacher's aid in highschool and trying to calm down 14 and 15 year olds was a nightmare. They would get up from their seats, yell, push each other....

ADD is just really about not focusing. The children usually look withdrawn.

Again, I've met Ethan. He was anything BUT withdrawn and full of positive energy. Our society likes to label things because they make us believe it is how we learn to heal people.

I have a severe anxiety disorder. I did not know it until I was 18 years old and living on my own at university and started having panic attacks all the time. I was diagnosed with GAD (general anxiety disorder) plus OCD. I would wake up every during the night every 20 minutes to make sur ethe doors were locked and windows...and would think that someone was going to come in and harm me.

I took Paxil for 3 years before I said F*uck it. I learned how to "control" my anxiety without meds and believe me, it was REALLY hard. I have a chemical imbalance in my brain with serotonin so I do not calm down like a person with regular amounts. An example is last night...my husband works the night shift once and awhile and I was up all night until he got home at 3am because I was worried someone would break in. Things like this are a part of my life that I must deal with and I can't help but I will not medicate to make it more manageable.

I also had a roommate at university who had a few serious illnesses and was on Lithium. She was from New York State so there was always a week or two where she'd go without mediation before she got a shipment from her doctor in the mail. During these weeks she couldn't even function. She'd sleep all day and wouldn't be able to think. It controlled her. I really liked her a lot and I think if she had some more self confidence, she could have learned to control some of her tendencies on her own. (hers were much more severe then mine, unfortunately)