The Vent

[Marilyn. 340]

the therapist I saw earlier this year was really good... I felt very comfortable with her...

[Autumnchik 6]

ARGH! WHen will hubby get a job??? I know it has only been 3 weeks that he has been out of work, but it is frightening to me that he has applied everywhere and no one is calling him. Jobs in his field are scarce in this area right now. My salary is not enough to pay all of our monthly bills. We had some savings, mostly used during my 3 month maternity leave. We figured we would be fine once I returned to work. I feel so hopeless. It is so frustrating to look at job postings online and find tons of jobs in southern NH, about 3 hours away, but not up here. We have talked about hubby trying to find a job in CT, in a more populated area, and live with my dad during the week and only come home on weekends, but hubby is pretty resistant right now, since he doesn't want to leave me alone with the baby. But pretty soon, when our savings run out, we won't have many other choices. It just feels like we keep getting hit with stuff. First Declan's surgery, then hubby being laid off ... and now medical bills are just pouring in ... to the tune of $20,000 because apparently the insurance covers the hospital, but the doctors, who bill separately, are not covered providers. When will it stop?

[Mephys 2]

I can relate to the marriage issues...

I've been having troubling emotions (and lack of) regarding this for a long while now. I thought it would go away once my husband and I were together again, but it hasn't. I tried going to counseling for it, but talking to my counselor was like talking to a brick wall.

Everything is so passionless. I'm definitely not considering divorce or anything like that because I do love him dearly, but it feels like I'm living with a roommate rather than a love.

I don't know how to fix this...

Oh Necrotica, I feel sad for you. Have you tried spending more Romantic time together? I mean more like when you guys use to visit each other while the Visa is in process ? Sometimes everyday life settles in and we need a litte slap in the face to realize hor faw we are dragging from what brought us together, and believe me some weeks that are more rouhg of us (kids, work wise, etc) we sometimes look at it and "####### we haven't kissed each other today" or "we are too tired to even talk to each other " and it helps us to make a particular moment just for the 2 of us with nothing else to disturbs us.

I hope you guys work it out

ARGH! WHen will hubby get a job??? I know it has only been 3 weeks that he has been out of work, but it is frightening to me that he has applied everywhere and no one is calling him. Jobs in his field are scarce in this area right now. My salary is not enough to pay all of our monthly bills. We had some savings, mostly used during my 3 month maternity leave. We figured we would be fine once I returned to work. I feel so hopeless. It is so frustrating to look at job postings online and find tons of jobs in southern NH, about 3 hours away, but not up here. We have talked about hubby trying to find a job in CT, in a more populated area, and live with my dad during the week and only come home on weekends, but hubby is pretty resistant right now, since he doesn't want to leave me alone with the baby. But pretty soon, when our savings run out, we won't have many other choices. It just feels like we keep getting hit with stuff. First Declan's surgery, then hubby being laid off ... and now medical bills are just pouring in ... to the tune of $20,000 because apparently the insurance covers the hospital, but the doctors, who bill separately, are not covered providers. When will it stop?

I hope your husband finds something soon Isn't there any possibility that he could take just a temporary job just to help paying a few bills while he's looking for a more permanent type of job ? I know my husband used to work in one of those 24h department /food store to restock the shelves during the evening as a second job to help meet the ends when he just had one of his kids. Ya know that kind of reallly boring job that everybody hates, but that they are always looking to hire people because they need help. I mean it might a good idea just to look in that kidna of jobs just for a while. It's better than sitting at home.

[Krikit 1,163]

How do you pass the time. All of this waiting is driving us crazy. Try to focus on work but having trouble doing it. Thank god there is a weekend coming up. But they don't get mail up in Canada on the weekend so if its not in the mail today, its not until Tuesday. Mary suggested that she sit downstairs and wait for the mailman each day. Our lives feel like we are frozen solid, and only this letter can thaw us out. Its hard to think and plan, since we have no idea within a few possible dates, when things can move forward. Mary's son is already going to miss at least the first month of school. I feel like a cog in a machine, a pawn in some game, waiting for some God-like figure to put us into play. Until then, our lives are on hold. Out of our control.

Waiting definitely gets wearing. lol. The nice thing about time is that it passes. But once you get to where you are meant to be, it will seem like no time at all. Today, you are closer than you were yesterday. Tomorrow you will be closer still. Enjoy what you have right now, because it will be gone tomorrow.

Wow, I just reread that. It sounds like a bunch of platitudes. But they are so true. Honestly. During my wait, I enjoyed everything I had while I had it.... because, all too soon, it was going to change. Anyway.... I'll shut up now. lol

ARGH! WHen will hubby get a job??? I know it has only been 3 weeks that he has been out of work, but it is frightening to me that he has applied everywhere and no one is calling him. Jobs in his field are scarce in this area right now. My salary is not enough to pay all of our monthly bills. We had some savings, mostly used during my 3 month maternity leave. We figured we would be fine once I returned to work. I feel so hopeless. It is so frustrating to look at job postings online and find tons of jobs in southern NH, about 3 hours away, but not up here. We have talked about hubby trying to find a job in CT, in a more populated area, and live with my dad during the week and only come home on weekends, but hubby is pretty resistant right now, since he doesn't want to leave me alone with the baby. But pretty soon, when our savings run out, we won't have many other choices. It just feels like we keep getting hit with stuff. First Declan's surgery, then hubby being laid off ... and now medical bills are just pouring in ... to the tune of $20,000 because apparently the insurance covers the hospital, but the doctors, who bill separately, are not covered providers. When will it stop?

Ohhh, I"m so sorry Autumn. I like Mephys' idea. Your husband's a carpenter, right? My cousin's husband is a carpenter, also. When he became unemployed, he spoke directly to a guy he met at a store who was getting out of a contractor's vehicle..... and he's been employed with him for the last year! I wonder if he could put his name down with Home Depot or something? I know they employ tradesmen. Don't they have a service where you can hire someone to come and do stuff for you? Or maybe an ad in the paper or online offering his services. Maybe he can start his own business!

Edited August 30, 2008 by Krikit

[SpiritAlight 1]

Dear AutumnChik,

Obviously times are stressful.

And I'm sorry to read of your challenging times.

And as Krikit said, (your husband) trying out freelance may be the best idea whilst still looking for something full-time.

What an opportunity!

I know quite a few carpenters; all in different types of carpentry work.

The only one not working at the moment is the USC, my brother-in-law.

Apparently, finding such full-time work in Peoria, IL is "impossible".

He has a 2 year old and a new one in the making.

The others work in B.C and in Quebec.

The one in Montreal has been creating one of kind pieces of furniture that pays super well.

Some of his pieces are extremely creative...beautiful.

He also builds custom kitchens, and other storage projects in people's homes.

The others that work in BC work for large companies; one does industrial finishing and another builds/creates unique log homes/buildings.

"I have questions.

Questions that need answering."

Why does it seem to me that it is harder to find work in the U.S.?

Wasn't there a time that it was way more abundant?

[SpiritAlight 1]

I can relate to the marriage issues...

I've been having troubling emotions (and lack of) regarding this for a long while now. I thought it would go away once my husband and I were together again, but it hasn't. I tried going to counseling for it, but talking to my counselor was like talking to a brick wall.

Everything is so passionless. I'm definitely not considering divorce or anything like that because I do love him dearly, but it feels like I'm living with a roommate rather than a love.

I don't know how to fix this...

I hear you loud and clear Necrotica.

What a ride, huh?

It's funny how things can look so good on paper...

Until someone walks in your shoes, i.e. gets into your heart and mind, for a while, who could truly know how and why.

So people may make suggestions and in the end the only that may help is divine intervention! Ha.

Oh I am only being slightly facetious.

IT is like when the raging fire has gone to burning embers to a tiny spark to something cool,

how do you respark it?

(I need to transfer this question to the "love advice thread".)

Let's keep these dialogues going and see what we all come up with.

I wish for all of us:

love

understanding

bliss

compassion

harmony

peace.

[TheATeam 0]

Spirit...I love you! Your positivity and passion for life is so inspiring to me. Coming from a home that was nothing but negative and pessimistic, that's how I've been my whole life. It's only been the last year and a few months that I've really been focusing on being positive and letting that energy flow instead. I know you're having troubles, but honestly, what I see is that you're handling it with grace and compassion for him and for yourself. (You might need a little more for yourself though!) I appreciate every post that you write. Thank you for being you, and inspiring me to be a better me! You and hubby are the only two people who have ever done that for me, so thanks!

[SpiritAlight 1]

Spirit...I love you! Your positivity and passion for life is so inspiring to me. Coming from a home that was nothing but negative and pessimistic, that's how I've been my whole life. It's only been the last year and a few months that I've really been focusing on being positive and letting that energy flow instead. I know you're having troubles, but honestly, what I see is that you're handling it with grace and compassion for him and for yourself. (You might need a little more for yourself though!) I appreciate every post that you write. Thank you for being you, and inspiring me to be a better me! You and hubby are the only two people who have ever done that for me, so thanks!

:blush:

and

Thank you kindly ATeam!

I realize in moments like this that this is why I do what I do.

In the allowing of some vulnerability, we create community, build each other up, and everybody rises up together.

Me likey!

Onwards and upwards.

I have spent some time with my sweetie, and it has been a rollercoaster ride, well, like life is.

Ha! (Literally and figuratively...he had tickets through his work for some huge amusement park here on Friday eve/night.)

And we got to someplace that feels good and peaceful.

This is this moment.

I accept it.

I allow for the possibility of harmony.

I was able to express, without having to freak out about it, hee hee, that I do not feel heard, and that our agreements were not being respected.

We agreed to new agreements, updated some, reviewed others...there is much work to be done.

This is not on paper...perhaps writing them down would be good.

It's time.

Part of the many exercises I know will help.

I do not do things as a means to an end.

I do things without attachment to outcome and/or reaching a goal or destination.

I have none.

Flexible & exploring.

............

......... (F)

......

(L) (L)

Edited August 31, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[SpiritAlight 1]

ARGH! WHen will hubby get a job??? I know it has only been 3 weeks that he has been out of work, but it is frightening to me that he has applied everywhere and no one is calling him. Jobs in his field are scarce in this area right now. My salary is not enough to pay all of our monthly bills. We had some savings, mostly used during my 3 month maternity leave. We figured we would be fine once I returned to work. I feel so hopeless. It is so frustrating to look at job postings online and find tons of jobs in southern NH, about 3 hours away, but not up here. We have talked about hubby trying to find a job in CT, in a more populated area, and live with my dad during the week and only come home on weekends, but hubby is pretty resistant right now, since he doesn't want to leave me alone with the baby. But pretty soon, when our savings run out, we won't have many other choices. It just feels like we keep getting hit with stuff. First Declan's surgery, then hubby being laid off ... and now medical bills are just pouring in ... to the tune of $20,000 because apparently the insurance covers the hospital, but the doctors, who bill separately, are not covered providers. When will it stop?

I read your post again Autumnchik.

I feel like throwing up when I hear of medical bill woes.

#######?!

Can't this freakin' government keep one of the trillions they spend on the "war effort" to keep its citizens/residents from living on the streets due to medical bills?!

Why do people here (generally speaking) think socialism is the same as communism?

Read people read!

Ahem...sorry, I feel a little strongly about people and hospital bills.

Why is there not a sliding scale at least?!!!

It must be the toughest thing ever...to have a baby and to worry about money. Sigh.

How could HEALTH insurance not cover doctors' bills?!!!!!!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Edited August 31, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[Mephys 2]

I am sorry to go on another subject but I need to let something out.

Worked a 12 hours shift today with 15 min of lunch, only because I devoted myself for the worst case of neglect I have seen on a cat in my life. 4 hours were dedicated to that cat.

Anyways, I don't understand some things and it makes me sad. I don't understand how some things can go that far when it could have been prevented by simple measures.

The cat was found at an old lady's house by his family and brought straight to the emergency, and the family is paying for the care, but still. What I saw today was the results of YEARS of neglect, and this lady, no matter how she cantale care of herself, is definitely too senile to be responsible for the life of an animal.

What I saw today is beyond any limits and describing it would be too graphic and I don't want to offense or disgust anyone, and it wasn't the cat lacking food or water, or any beating involved. Just pure neglect of grooming that turned into a total disaster. I cried as I was taking care of it. I am now worried about the afterwards, and not sure if the family is going to take charge of that cat, but it's gonna need some intensive care for a long time that I doubt the old lady can even think of. And of course wanting to volunteer myself to take care of it at home until it's better is an idea my dear husband doesn't share at all with me.

Her name is Torri and she is a calico Female. So sweet when she arrived she was purring for us, even with the severity of her condition. I hope she is gonna get better.

[wowswift 3]

I <3 animals and just reading that was bad. I can't imagine what you had to see. I hope someone else takes care of miss Torri.

and though i don't post much here, i rly hope autumnchik gets a break soon. seems like a lot at once, but you seem like a very strong woman. hopefully things will start sorting itself out soon for you.

[SpiritAlight 1]

I am sorry to go on another subject but I need to let something out.

Worked a 12 hours shift today with 15 min of lunch, only because I devoted myself for the worst case of neglect I have seen on a cat in my life. 4 hours were dedicated to that cat.

Anyways, I don't understand some things and it makes me sad. I don't understand how some things can go that far when it could have been prevented by simple measures.

The cat was found at an old lady's house by his family and brought straight to the emergency, and the family is paying for the care, but still. What I saw today was the results of YEARS of neglect, and this lady, no matter how she cantale care of herself, is definitely too senile to be responsible for the life of an animal.

What I saw today is beyond any limits and describing it would be too graphic and I don't want to offense or disgust anyone, and it wasn't the cat lacking food or water, or any beating involved. Just pure neglect of grooming that turned into a total disaster. I cried as I was taking care of it. I am now worried about the afterwards, and not sure if the family is going to take charge of that cat, but it's gonna need some intensive care for a long time that I doubt the old lady can even think of. And of course wanting to volunteer myself to take care of it at home until it's better is an idea my dear husband doesn't share at all with me.

Her name is Torri and she is a calico Female. So sweet when she arrived she was purring for us, even with the severity of her condition. I hope she is gonna get better.

I can take the kitty temporarily!!!

Let me know....

[MrsCat 6]

Oh Mephys - I am sorry that was part of your day.

I am grateful everyday that there are people like you who take care of pets in need and despite how difficult it must be, ensure that they get the best fighting chance. I know it must have been hard - but you made a very significant difference today in life of a pet that deserved much love and care.

Have a good cry for the little kitty and remember the good you're putting back in the world, even if it starts from a place of pain.

Edited September 1, 2008 by cattattude

[Krikit 1,163]

I can't say it any better than Catt did. Poor Mephys. Poor poor kitty.

[Mephys 2]

I can't say it any better than Catt did. Poor Mephys. Poor poor kitty.

Thank you all. I had to meditate a little over that and I took a nap to pass my headache. It's so hard because I keep seeing it in my head.

Anyways I called later at work to see if she had woken ok. I'll see how she is tomorrow.