The Vent

[Krikit 1,165]

Can you go on a waiting list? A lot of students will withdraw from classes or be a no-show.

[Necrotica 0]

Human Resources called and left a message on my voicemail wanting to talk about my "return to work".

Hah. Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: (sorry, Marilyn)

So it's the moment of truth now... I'm either going to get my accommodations, or I'm probably going to end up getting fired.

[Necrotica 0]

Human Resources called and left a message on my voicemail wanting to talk about my "return to work".

Hah. Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: (sorry, Marilyn)

So it's the moment of truth now... I'm either going to get my accommodations, or I'm probably going to end up getting fired.

...and only a couple of minutes after this was posted, she called me back.

She's going to "check with management" and "see what they can do".

Yeah... uh-huh. WHY was this not done when I requested accommodations over 5 months ago?!

[thetreble 19]

back story necrotica, please!!

[Flames9_RN 358]

Can you go on a waiting list? A lot of students will withdraw from classes or be a no-show.

No, people wont be a no-show, its the last yr of the program. And they dont do wait lists! One just has to keep checking, and if it opens up, then swap. Some will forget to pay, thus dropping them, but one has to pay by Aug 01. im not that concerned right now, i ended up lucking out and getting something that appears will work out OK

[Necrotica 0]

back story necrotica, please!!

Oh boy... it's going to be a long story... luckily I can cut and paste part of it from a former vent, hehe.

I have a lot of disabilities. I'm autistic (high-functioning), I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, severe depression (which was in remission before all this ####### started happening), other mental issues (condensed for the sake of brevity), a back deformity that has the capability of causing me so much pain that I can't even walk, and some mystery joint pain in my fingers which makes using my right hand very painful (a couple of doctors are giving me conflicting diagnoses regarding that). Despite all of this, I had worked in my current job doing Medicare customer service for almost a year... until this past March.

I was doing ok at work for the most part until they started training me to do other things. The stress of this combined with my disabilities and the fact that they would make no accommodations whatsoever for me even though they could have led to me having a series of breakdowns until I finally had a massive one that has rendered me completely unable to work as of March 18th. My leave has been completely unpaid, and my short-term disability was denied because my idiot doctor apparently told them something to the effect of my job causing my disability, so now they said I should file a worker's compensation claim. This is NOT a worker's comp issue; I was diagnosed with CFS and Fibromyalgia in March of 2007 before I even started working there! It's just that I had a huge flareup that resulted in burnout because they would not offer me any accommodations.

Here's a brief timeline:

Mid-September 2007 - Took my diagnosis letters to Human Resources, saying I wanted them on file in case I ever need to have accommodations. HR lady (different one than who I talked to today) tells me that I "can't have any excused time off just because I don't 'feel well'". This very highly upset me, since it's not just a case of not "feeling well"; it's a case of not even being able to FUNCTION.

Late November/early December 2007 - Tried to talk to my supervisor about getting accommodations. He refers me back to HR. I told him about what happened in HR and that my mental health can NOT handle another snide comment because I was in a very dangerous mental state of mind, and he says I have to go back there anyway, even though the employee handbook says that asking my supervisor for accommodations is acceptable and that it would be his responsibility to go to HR with my request. Obviously, that never happened.

Mid-December 2007 - Got a verbal warning for attendance. The stress on me was too much for me to handle, which was why I kept missing work. The verbal warning made my stress level go even higher, which meant more flareups and more absences (see the pattern here?).

Late January 2008 - Finally e-mail HR requesting accommodations.

Late February 2008 - Meeting with HR reharding accommodations. They tell me that working from home is not an option because the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services don't want me to for some reason (even though there are others in my department who can work from home), and that they'll see what they can do about getting me into a different department with a lower stress level.

Late February/early March 2008 - I get put into training for not only Durable Medical Equipment Claims Level 1, but also Level 2 right after training for Level 1. These representatives take calls regarding Medicare fraud in relation to medical equipment. VERY HIGH-STRESS. The funny part is that there was Written Correspondence training going on at the same time, which is what I had originally requested transferring over to, and getting into that department would have meant MUCH less stress and it more than likely would have kept me from having my final meltdown. Many people were being transferred from my department over there anyway, so transferring me over there as well wouldn't have made them do ANY extra work whatsoever.

Mid-March 2008 - Was put on a written warning for attendance, meaning if I miss 3 more days of work, I'm fired. This piled on even more stress on me, and this combined with the DME training caused me to crash so hard that I could not continue coming in to work.

This is all just so ridiculous. If they could have made some adjustments and NOT give me DME duties on top of what I already had, this never would have happened. This is EXACTLY what I tried so hard to avoid all the way back in September.

Edited June 5, 2008 by Necrotica

[trailmix 77]

Normally I don't post in the vent thread - why? Well because when I do come in here to vent I read other vents and then my vent seems pretty small (which is a good thing).

Someone I know is mad at me (no not my Husband ).

The thing is, this person is mad at me for a kinda good reason - but not all that good (ie there are two sides and two perceptions on every point).

Ok, so I say to the person, look, you are mad, you should just say so, let's get this out in the open, hash it out and be done with it! They keep saying they aren't mad but they keep taking little pot shots.

There isn't really a way to make it right - now, they keep saying it's water under the bridge. They are under a lot of stress right now, not related, but somewhat related to this (but not to me thankfully!).

I have tried to just talk it out, but the anger is there so it doesn't really resolve anything. The thing is every time I speak to this person - well not EVERY time - but most of the time, something mean is said.

What to do what to do.

[Flames9_RN 358]

Normally I don't post in the vent thread - why? Well because when I do come in here to vent I read other vents and then my vent seems pretty small (which is a good thing).

Someone I know is mad at me (no not my Husband ).

The thing is, this person is mad at me for a kinda good reason - but not all that good (ie there are two sides and two perceptions on every point).

Ok, so I say to the person, look, you are mad, you should just say so, let's get this out in the open, hash it out and be done with it! They keep saying they aren't mad but they keep taking little pot shots.

There isn't really a way to make it right - now, they keep saying it's water under the bridge. They are under a lot of stress right now, not related, but somewhat related to this (but not to me thankfully!).

I have tried to just talk it out, but the anger is there so it doesn't really resolve anything. The thing is every time I speak to this person - well not EVERY time - but most of the time, something mean is said.

What to do what to do.

Not much one can do if you try and talk about the situation, and the other person doesn't want to actively listen, nor discuss it. Maybe this person is having other issues which you are not aware of, which is causing the issues between you and him/her!

[Krikit 1,165]

Normally I don't post in the vent thread - why? Well because when I do come in here to vent I read other vents and then my vent seems pretty small (which is a good thing).

Someone I know is mad at me (no not my Husband ).

The thing is, this person is mad at me for a kinda good reason - but not all that good (ie there are two sides and two perceptions on every point).

Ok, so I say to the person, look, you are mad, you should just say so, let's get this out in the open, hash it out and be done with it! They keep saying they aren't mad but they keep taking little pot shots.

There isn't really a way to make it right - now, they keep saying it's water under the bridge. They are under a lot of stress right now, not related, but somewhat related to this (but not to me thankfully!).

I have tried to just talk it out, but the anger is there so it doesn't really resolve anything. The thing is every time I speak to this person - well not EVERY time - but most of the time, something mean is said.

What to do what to do.

First off.... (((((BIG HUGS)))))

Second.... I am going to generalize to make this simple. If this person is a child/offspring/relative/close friend, there is really not much you can do but keep on keeping on. This is their way of working through their emotions. "Children" of every age tend to say hurtful things without being cognizant of the impact of their words. It hurts, and it's painful to deal with.... especially when they keep shooting little daggers at your heart. But don't allow yourself to take responsibility for someone else's pain. It is theirs to deal with, just as you must deal with yours. The good thing is that they/you are maintaining contact. Good for you for keeping the lines of communication open. Pat yourself on the back. It is a difficult difficult thing to do when you are just as hurt as they are. But someone has to observe the proprieties in order to keep things civil. Your efforts are not in vain.... they will lay the foundation for a rebuild of the relationship. Time is a great healer. Ultimately, both sides will have learned something and a better person will evolve. Whoever you are dealing is on his/her own path of life, just as you are on yours. We must all muddle through what comes our way. Trials are not sent to test us. Trials are sent to better us. Trust that your words of concern are being heard, and things are working their way toward a positive outcome. Think of how you are struggling with this, and know that they are struggling too. There is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep moving towards it.

Edited June 5, 2008 by Krikit

[trailmix 77]

Thanks for your replies flames and krikit.

Flames you are absolutely right and they are going through their own thing.

krikit, you are also right, of course and what you have said is basically what my Husband has been saying to me. It's reassuring to hear both your replies, it did make me feel better.

you are both very kind people

[Flames9_RN 358]

Thanks for your replies flames and krikit.

Flames you are absolutely right and they are going through their own thing.

krikit, you are also right, of course and what you have said is basically what my Husband has been saying to me. It's reassuring to hear both your replies, it did make me feel better.

you are both very kind people

Can I have some chocolate bunnies??

[trailmix 77]

Thanks for your replies flames and krikit.

Flames you are absolutely right and they are going through their own thing.

krikit, you are also right, of course and what you have said is basically what my Husband has been saying to me. It's reassuring to hear both your replies, it did make me feel better.

you are both very kind people

Can I have some chocolate bunnies??

Yes, you can!!

[Krikit 1,165]

Thanks for your replies flames and krikit.

Flames you are absolutely right and they are going through their own thing.

krikit, you are also right, of course and what you have said is basically what my Husband has been saying to me. It's reassuring to hear both your replies, it did make me feel better.

you are both very kind people

Can I have some chocolate bunnies??

Trailmix, he is reffering to this.

Flames, you're my hero.

[trailmix 77]

Trailmix, he is reffering to this.

Flames, you're my hero.

I hadn't seen that thread, I just said to my Husband - Flames has asked for chocolate bunnies, I don't know why

[Autumnchik 6]

Good luck with HR. One thing I just thought of (you may have already done this) ... ask your doctor or a mental health therapist (if you see one) to complete a FMLA leave request for you. I have done several for clients (I'm a mental health therapist) ... some when they absolutely needed to be on leave for a bit due to their disabilities, but I have also done a couple for clients because their HR department just wanted to have documentation on file that they MAY need time off periodically for appointments and such.

back story necrotica, please!!

Oh boy... it's going to be a long story... luckily I can cut and paste part of it from a former vent, hehe.

I have a lot of disabilities. I'm autistic (high-functioning), I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, severe depression (which was in remission before all this ####### started happening), other mental issues (condensed for the sake of brevity), a back deformity that has the capability of causing me so much pain that I can't even walk, and some mystery joint pain in my fingers which makes using my right hand very painful (a couple of doctors are giving me conflicting diagnoses regarding that). Despite all of this, I had worked in my current job doing Medicare customer service for almost a year... until this past March.

I was doing ok at work for the most part until they started training me to do other things. The stress of this combined with my disabilities and the fact that they would make no accommodations whatsoever for me even though they could have led to me having a series of breakdowns until I finally had a massive one that has rendered me completely unable to work as of March 18th. My leave has been completely unpaid, and my short-term disability was denied because my idiot doctor apparently told them something to the effect of my job causing my disability, so now they said I should file a worker's compensation claim. This is NOT a worker's comp issue; I was diagnosed with CFS and Fibromyalgia in March of 2007 before I even started working there! It's just that I had a huge flareup that resulted in burnout because they would not offer me any accommodations.

Here's a brief timeline:

Mid-September 2007 - Took my diagnosis letters to Human Resources, saying I wanted them on file in case I ever need to have accommodations. HR lady (different one than who I talked to today) tells me that I "can't have any excused time off just because I don't 'feel well'". This very highly upset me, since it's not just a case of not "feeling well"; it's a case of not even being able to FUNCTION.

Late November/early December 2007 - Tried to talk to my supervisor about getting accommodations. He refers me back to HR. I told him about what happened in HR and that my mental health can NOT handle another snide comment because I was in a very dangerous mental state of mind, and he says I have to go back there anyway, even though the employee handbook says that asking my supervisor for accommodations is acceptable and that it would be his responsibility to go to HR with my request. Obviously, that never happened.

Mid-December 2007 - Got a verbal warning for attendance. The stress on me was too much for me to handle, which was why I kept missing work. The verbal warning made my stress level go even higher, which meant more flareups and more absences (see the pattern here?).

Late January 2008 - Finally e-mail HR requesting accommodations.

Late February 2008 - Meeting with HR reharding accommodations. They tell me that working from home is not an option because the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services don't want me to for some reason (even though there are others in my department who can work from home), and that they'll see what they can do about getting me into a different department with a lower stress level.

Late February/early March 2008 - I get put into training for not only Durable Medical Equipment Claims Level 1, but also Level 2 right after training for Level 1. These representatives take calls regarding Medicare fraud in relation to medical equipment. VERY HIGH-STRESS. The funny part is that there was Written Correspondence training going on at the same time, which is what I had originally requested transferring over to, and getting into that department would have meant MUCH less stress and it more than likely would have kept me from having my final meltdown. Many people were being transferred from my department over there anyway, so transferring me over there as well wouldn't have made them do ANY extra work whatsoever.

Mid-March 2008 - Was put on a written warning for attendance, meaning if I miss 3 more days of work, I'm fired. This piled on even more stress on me, and this combined with the DME training caused me to crash so hard that I could not continue coming in to work.

This is all just so ridiculous. If they could have made some adjustments and NOT give me DME duties on top of what I already had, this never would have happened. This is EXACTLY what I tried so hard to avoid all the way back in September.

Edited June 6, 2008 by autumnchik