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Taking babies to special events

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I got married 2 weeks ago and we had a good size reception, about 300 guests. Out of that, 27 were kids. So we decided to provide babysitting services which hardly anyone used but it was there. Most of the kids were inside the reception hall, playing and dancing. I wasn't one bit annoyed nor was anyone else. I didn't feel that it took anything away from my day at all.

edited to say: half of the kids or more were 3yrs and under.

Edited by amira_ordonia

VJ Hours - I am available M-F from 10am - 5pm PST. I will occasionaly put in some OT for a fairly good poo slinging thread or a donut.

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The kid came over again and looked like he was about to try a repeat of his actions, but this time, I was ready. I caught his hand, and grabbing it firmly, I said to him: "Go back to your family. Sit down in your seat. Stay there. Do you understand me?" I made sure to use a very menacing voice, the kind that would easily strike fear into the heart of a child. The kid's eyes got wide, nodded his head and ran back to his table, took his seat and stayed there the entire time

Having said it wasn't the kids fault, why did go ahead and scare the kid? That seems a rather odd way of solving the problem.

yeah, he coulda used a plastic bag instead.

or shot him, future mongrel that he is.

AOS

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Filed: 8/1/07

NOA1:9/7/07

Biometrics: 9/28/07

EAD/AP: 10/17/07

EAD card ordered again (who knows, maybe we got the two-fer deal): 10/23/-7

Transferred to CSC: 10/26/07

Approved: 11/21/07

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I got married 2 weeks ago and we had a good size reception, about 300 guests. Out of that, 27 were kids. So we decided to provide babysitting services which hardly anyone used but it was there. Most of the kids were inside the reception hall, playing and dancing. I wasn't one bit annoyed nor was anyone else. I didn't feel that it took anything away from my day at all.

edited to say: half of the kids or more were 3yrs and under.

Now that's the spirit! :thumbs:

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Parents should use their own discretion but I'm going to assume if the person inviting me to their home knows that I have children and they don't ask me to leave them with a babysitter, I'm gonna bring them.

One of my longtime friends met me for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory years ago. We both brought our families, except he had a newborn and a toddler. The toddler got restless after we had been there awhile and slithered from her mother's arms to the floor and then started running around the restaurant, bumping into one of the servers who then asked the parents to please keep their child seated. She started squealing really loud when her mom wouldn't let her wriggle out of her grasp and they felt equally embarassed about that.

When it's a toddler, there's not a whole lot of discipline you can do - they just don't have the capacity to behave, so unless it's a place where a toddler can be noisy and cranky without it disturbing others, parents are setting themselves up for having a miserable time if they bring the child. If the child is about 5 or older, they should learn by then how to behave when in the company of others.

I think this is a good post, because too often I see, 'gah, why can't they control their child!' and quite a lot of the time, the child is a toddler and doing something like squealing. You can discipline your kid, but you can't control them because they're not dogs. And sometimes parents have to go places or on airplanes. (And I say this having been a kid that didn't act up.)

AOS

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Filed: 8/1/07

NOA1:9/7/07

Biometrics: 9/28/07

EAD/AP: 10/17/07

EAD card ordered again (who knows, maybe we got the two-fer deal): 10/23/-7

Transferred to CSC: 10/26/07

Approved: 11/21/07

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I didn't grab the kid hard or hurt him. I specifically made sure that, while I grabbed him firmly, I did so without the necessary force to cause pain. I had no intention of injuring the child. However, I wanted to impress upon him that what he was doing was wrong and that he should immediately sit himself down upon his seat and remain there for the duration of his meal.

I have no doubt that you had no intention of hurting him. But the only people who know exactly how hard you grabbed him are you and the child. If he had started to cry and ran to tell his parents that "that man just hurt me". Well, I'll just say that I wouldn't want to be in that situation.

If the parents had been paying a bit of attention to the child in the first place, he wouldn't have been running around the restaurant for the incident to happen.

I'm sure they never even noticed what DeadPoolX did.

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I gotta agree with what RJ said earlier...the world does not revolve around children.

I really don't understand it. Don't get me wrong, I think kids are great! But 20-30 years ago, it was not the parent conforming around the child...it was the child conforming around the parent.

When did this change?

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I dunno, what ever happened to having to sit at a table and behave yourself just because you were told to? My husband, friend, and I were talking about this when the three of us were in a restaurant not too long ago. There was a table with a few kids just two tables away from us and their behavior was just horrid! they were running around, crawling on the floor (and they were NOT toddlers), just generally causing a ruckus. More than once a server had to step over one of them, around them, and that's all I could see was a tray of hot plates landing on these ...ahem..."darlings". Only occasionally did an adult at the table say something. AND the kids made a MESS....food on the floor. The three of us agreed that we would have never gotten away with that kind of ####### as kids. I knew at a very young age that my mother only had to get lower in voice and give me "the look", that I was getting carried away and that I'd better knock it off. My mother never spanked me, but my mother instilled in me that certain behavior in public is NOT appropriate. Likewise, my husband, who grew up with a professional classical singing father and had to spend time in grown-up situations, even attending his father's concerts at a young age, knew that even making a peep would not be tolerated. There was a time and a place for different behaviors. Many parents today just don't take the time to really teach their children what's appropriate.

On the flip side, the three of us were at an Oktoberfest last weekend and we got sat at a table with a mom, pop, and kid and I know we all thought...aaack...what is this going to be like. The kid was about 4-5 and I thought for sure he'd get bored and cranky and we'd all pay for it. But these parents were amazing. The mom kept him busy with crayons and made little oragami-like shapes out of the paper and when the kid got probably a little bored dad took him outside to where there was a fountain to look at. They had said they couldn't get a babysitter because they would have left him at home, but they really didn't want to miss the event. BUT, they knew their child and they left didn't stay so late.

Edited by Frances

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31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
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When I used to manage this chain of salons, I made a sign:

Children are sweet

Children are fun

But Please leave them home

when you get your nails done!

lol

I don't think it's rude to say 'no children' for certain events. And if the parent wants to forego the occasion because of it, that's fine too!

i always thought this sign would work wonders :innocent:

unattendedkids.jpg

hehehehe to both of these!

Edited by Frances

Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
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31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

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I dunno, what ever happened to having to sit at a table and behave yourself just because you were told to? My husband, friend, and I were talking about this when the three of us were in a restaurant not too long ago. There was a table with a few kids just two tables away from us and their behavior was just horrid! they were running around, crawling on the floor (and they were NOT toddlers), just generally causing a ruckus. More than once a server had to step over one of them, around them, and that's all I could see was a tray of hot plates landing on these ...ahem..."darlings". Only occasionally did an adult at the table say something. AND the kids made a MESS....food on the floor. The three of us agreed that we would have never gotten away with that kind of ####### as kids. I knew at a very young age that my mother only had to get lower in voice and give me "the look", that I was getting carried away and that I'd better knock it off. My mother never spanked me, but my mother instilled in me that certain behavior in public is NOT appropriate. Likewise, my husband, who grew up with a professional classical singing father and had to spend time in grown-up situations, even attending his father's concerts at a young age, knew that even making a peep would not be tolerated. There was a time and a place for different behaviors. Many parents today just don't take the time to really teach their children what's appropriate.

On the flip side, the three of us were at an Oktoberfest last weekend and we got sat at a table with a mom, pop, and kid and I know we all thought...aaack...what is this going to be like. The kid was about 4-5 and I thought for sure he'd get bored and cranky and we'd all pay for it. But these parents were amazing. The mom kept him busy with crayons and and made little oragami-like shapes out of the paper and when the kid got probably a little bored dad took him outside to where there was a fountain to look at. They had said they couldn't get a babysitter because they would have left him at home, but they really didn't want to miss the event. BUT, they knew their child and they left didn't stay so late.

I think one of the many benefits of taking young children to church is that they learn to sit quietly. I remember in grade school, we'd have quiet time. Perhaps in this day and age, with so many gadgets that we have now, we're not setting a good example for our kids to have some peace and quiet during their day? We've got an awful lot of hyperactivity in kids these days... I imagine our lifestyle changes including our diet has something to do with it.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
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I didn't grab the kid hard or hurt him. I specifically made sure that, while I grabbed him firmly, I did so without the necessary force to cause pain. I had no intention of injuring the child. However, I wanted to impress upon him that what he was doing was wrong and that he should immediately sit himself down upon his seat and remain there for the duration of his meal.

I have no doubt that you had no intention of hurting him. But the only people who know exactly how hard you grabbed him are you and the child. If he had started to cry and ran to tell his parents that "that man just hurt me". Well, I'll just say that I wouldn't want to be in that situation.

If the parents had been paying a bit of attention to the child in the first place, he wouldn't have been running around the restaurant for the incident to happen.

I'm sure they never even noticed what DeadPoolX did.

I'm sure you're right, but I would never want to take that chance in this litigation-happy world we live in today. CYOA!

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I remember the saying 'Children are seen and not heard'

All my mom or dad had to do was give me a look!

I think many people regarded that saying as archaic, back when patriarchy was the norm and fathers were emotionally distant with their children.

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I think one of the many benefits of taking young children to church is that they learn to sit quietly. I remember in grade school, we'd have quiet time. Perhaps in this day and age, with so many gadgets that we have now, we're not setting a good example for our kids to have some peace and quiet during their day? We've got an awful lot of hyperactivity in kids these days... I imagine our lifestyle changes including our diet has something to do with it.

And perhaps the fact that kids don't get out all of their energy by PLAYING OUTSIDE! No matter what the weather, we went out and played hard....we ran, and ran, and ran, rode bikes and ran some more. So that when we got inside, to church, or a restaurant, or adult surrounding, we knew the difference...... sit still and behave....and if we got bored....we colored or read a book.

Yeah, Lisa.... "the LOOK".... hehehe :o

Edited by Frances

Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
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31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

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I remember the saying 'Children are seen and not heard'

All my mom or dad had to do was give me a look!

I think many people regarded that saying as archaic, back when patriarchy was the norm and fathers were emotionally distant with their children.

I'm not sure that's universal even 20 or 30 years ago. Maybe with my grandparents, but they were cold and emotionally distant. Nice people, but not warm towards children.

My parents expected us to behave, but they didn't expect us to be furniture to be trotted out as conversation pieces. Kids are not porcelain dolls.

In my opinion, what's changed is that people who are single expect children to disappear from public life. How awful, there was a child at my wedding, so no one looked-at-me-looked-at-me the entire time because the flower girl was cute. How awful of that mother to expect that she could go on an airplane. Doesn't she know that even seeing a toddler makes my widdle heart-rate rise? Why can't she keep the kid from crying? Its ears hurt? Mothers should not be on planes. Or in malls. I am in a public space but nothing shall ever disturb me.

Kids should behave but I think there's plenty of blame to go around. Ever tried helping the mom distract the crying toddler on the airplane? Works a lot better than shooting her dirty looks.

AOS

-

Filed: 8/1/07

NOA1:9/7/07

Biometrics: 9/28/07

EAD/AP: 10/17/07

EAD card ordered again (who knows, maybe we got the two-fer deal): 10/23/-7

Transferred to CSC: 10/26/07

Approved: 11/21/07

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Filed: Other Country: India
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All we needed was "the look" too, and we'd stop doing whatever we weren't supposed to be doing at that moment. And I plan to have a "look" for my child. :lol:

As for funny signs, there is a diner nearby we go to sometimes, the people are very friendly there and don't care about kids being there, but they have funny signs up and one is "Unattended Children Will be Sold As Slaves". :lol:

Married since 9-18-04(All K1 visa & GC details in timeline.)

Ishu tum he mere Prabhu:::Jesus you are my Lord

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