Taking babies to special events

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Parents should use their own discretion but I'm going to assume if the person inviting me to their home knows that I have children and they don't ask me to leave them with a babysitter, I'm gonna bring them.

One of my longtime friends met me for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory years ago. We both brought our families, except he had a newborn and a toddler. The toddler got restless after we had been there awhile and slithered from her mother's arms to the floor and then started running around the restaurant, bumping into one of the servers who then asked the parents to please keep their child seated. She started squealing really loud when her mom wouldn't let her wriggle out of her grasp and they felt equally embarassed about that.

When it's a toddler, there's not a whole lot of discipline you can do - they just don't have the capacity to behave, so unless it's a place where a toddler can be noisy and cranky without it disturbing others, parents are setting themselves up for having a miserable time if they bring the child. If the child is about 5 or older, they should learn by then how to behave when in the company of others.

[Scott & Lai 12]

As an aside, I think one of our problems as a nation is that we think our children are special. They are special--but only to us parents. They are a nuisance to everyone else.

The attitude expressed in the bold part is the problem we as a nation have. There are a lot of ill behaved children out there these days and that is a concern because somehow it indicates that parents are not doing what they need to do: parenting. But a child is never a nuisance. Ever.

Excellent point.

Ok then, parents who refuse to control their children in public or who are unable to control them but bring them to inappropriate situations are a nuisance to everyone else.

Edited October 16, 2007 by Scott & Lai

[one...two...tree 2,762]

As an aside, I think one of our problems as a nation is that we think our children are special. They are special--but only to us parents. They are a nuisance to everyone else.

The attitude expressed in the bold part is the problem we as a nation have. There are a lot of ill behaved children out there these days and that is a concern because somehow it indicates that parents are not doing what they need to do: parenting. But a child is never a nuisance. Ever.

Excellent point.

Ok then, parents who refuse to control their children in public or who are unable to control them but bring them to inappropriate situations are a nuisance to everyone else.

Yep. I agree with that. Although as I stated in my post above - toddlers lack the capacity to behave - which is why parents should never bring toddlers to movie theaters.

[DeadPoolX 9]

My main issue with children is when parents allow their kids to run all over the place, completely uncontrolled. I realize it really isn't the kids' fault, since at that age, they rarely know better unless they've been taught. The parents, however, do know better and should be instructing their children to at least stay in their seats and not bother other people.

For instance, I was at a restaurant recently and this family had a few kids (all relatively young; none were older than probably six) and one of them kept running past my table, making weird noises. That was somewhat annoying, but he wasn't specifically bother me, so I let it go. I didn't feel like causing a problem with the family.

But then, the kid runs up to my table and sticks his hand into my drink and that was when I felt things had gone too far. Fortunately, the waiter saw this and brought me an entirely new glass and drink, but I was ticked off at this point. I was willing to deal with the kids running around, but not with they began messing with my meal!

The kid came over again and looked like he was about to try a repeat of his actions, but this time, I was ready. I caught his hand, and grabbing it firmly, I said to him: "Go back to your family. Sit down in your seat. Stay there. Do you understand me?" I made sure to use a very menacing voice, the kind that would easily strike fear into the heart of a child. The kid's eyes got wide, nodded his head and ran back to his table, took his seat and stayed there the entire time.

[Jenn! 918]

The kid came over again and looked like he was about to try a repeat of his actions, but this time, I was ready. I caught his hand, and grabbing it firmly, I said to him: "Go back to your family. Sit down in your seat. Stay there. Do you understand me?" I made sure to use a very menacing voice, the kind that would easily strike fear into the heart of a child. The kid's eyes got wide, nodded his head and ran back to his table, took his seat and stayed there the entire time.

Be careful with that, you'll get yourself into trouble!

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

As an aside, I think one of our problems as a nation is that we think our children are special. They are special--but only to us parents. They are a nuisance to everyone else.

The attitude expressed in the bold part is the problem we as a nation have. There are a lot of ill behaved children out there these days and that is a concern because somehow it indicates that parents are not doing what they need to do: parenting. But a child is never a nuisance. Ever.

Excellent point.

Ok then, parents who refuse to control their children in public or who are unable to control them but bring them to inappropriate situations are a nuisance to everyone else.

Now we're getting somewhere.

[Peikko 1,575]

The kid came over again and looked like he was about to try a repeat of his actions, but this time, I was ready. I caught his hand, and grabbing it firmly, I said to him: "Go back to your family. Sit down in your seat. Stay there. Do you understand me?" I made sure to use a very menacing voice, the kind that would easily strike fear into the heart of a child. The kid's eyes got wide, nodded his head and ran back to his table, took his seat and stayed there the entire time

Having said it wasn't the kids fault, why did go ahead and scare the kid? That seems a rather odd way of solving the problem.

[Ban Hammer 13,622]

The kid came over again and looked like he was about to try a repeat of his actions, but this time, I was ready. I caught his hand, and grabbing it firmly, I said to him: "Go back to your family. Sit down in your seat. Stay there. Do you understand me?" I made sure to use a very menacing voice, the kind that would easily strike fear into the heart of a child. The kid's eyes got wide, nodded his head and ran back to his table, took his seat and stayed there the entire time

Having said it wasn't the kids fault, why did go ahead and scare the kid? That seems a rather odd way of solving the problem.

yeah, he coulda used a plastic bag instead.

[Peikko 1,575]

The waiter had seen the kid behave badly, the restaurant have a responsibility for their customers. Scaring the ####### out of a kid who is not in your care is not really a good plan.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The kid came over again and looked like he was about to try a repeat of his actions, but this time, I was ready. I caught his hand, and grabbing it firmly, I said to him: "Go back to your family. Sit down in your seat. Stay there. Do you understand me?" I made sure to use a very menacing voice, the kind that would easily strike fear into the heart of a child. The kid's eyes got wide, nodded his head and ran back to his table, took his seat and stayed there the entire time.

Be careful with that, you'll get yourself into trouble!

I agree... you should confront the parents or notify the manager of the restaurant. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, "Hey, stop that!" but you better be careful about grabbing someone else's child in that manner.

[Ban Hammer 13,622]

The kid came over again and looked like he was about to try a repeat of his actions, but this time, I was ready. I caught his hand, and grabbing it firmly, I said to him: "Go back to your family. Sit down in your seat. Stay there. Do you understand me?" I made sure to use a very menacing voice, the kind that would easily strike fear into the heart of a child. The kid's eyes got wide, nodded his head and ran back to his table, took his seat and stayed there the entire time.

Be careful with that, you'll get yourself into trouble!

I agree... you should confront the parents or notify the manager of the restaurant. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, "Hey, stop that!" but you better be careful about grabbing someone else's child in that manner.

i'm sure that will go over real well. maybe we can see that on the next episode of cops eh?

[DeadPoolX 9]

I didn't grab the kid hard or hurt him. I specifically made sure that, while I grabbed him firmly, I did so without the necessary force to cause pain. I had no intention of injuring the child. However, I wanted to impress upon him that what he was doing was wrong and that he should immediately sit himself down upon his seat and remain there for the duration of his meal.

Why didn't I tell his parents? If they cared in the first place, then the kids wouldn't be running around like maniacs. The chances are high that if I told them, they would have told me to "screw off" (or something worse) because I would be indicating that "their precious wonder" is doing something wrong -- and that just couldn't be; not their child!

[Peikko 1,575]

Not the point, you are not responsible for that child, you can get yourself into trouble for dealing with other people's children in this way. Why not ask the restaurant to deal with the problem? Isn't it their responsibility for you to enjoy your meal without being harassed?

[Jenn! 918]

I didn't grab the kid hard or hurt him. I specifically made sure that, while I grabbed him firmly, I did so without the necessary force to cause pain. I had no intention of injuring the child. However, I wanted to impress upon him that what he was doing was wrong and that he should immediately sit himself down upon his seat and remain there for the duration of his meal.

I have no doubt that you had no intention of hurting him. But the only people who know exactly how hard you grabbed him are you and the child. If he had started to cry and ran to tell his parents that "that man just hurt me". Well, I'll just say that I wouldn't want to be in that situation.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The kid came over again and looked like he was about to try a repeat of his actions, but this time, I was ready. I caught his hand, and grabbing it firmly, I said to him: "Go back to your family. Sit down in your seat. Stay there. Do you understand me?" I made sure to use a very menacing voice, the kind that would easily strike fear into the heart of a child. The kid's eyes got wide, nodded his head and ran back to his table, took his seat and stayed there the entire time.

Be careful with that, you'll get yourself into trouble!

I agree... you should confront the parents or notify the manager of the restaurant. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, "Hey, stop that!" but you better be careful about grabbing someone else's child in that manner.

i'm sure that will go over real well. maybe we can see that on the next episode of cops eh?

"Would you please not let your child run loose? He just stuck his hand in my drink!" (I would hope that most parents would be reasonably minded by that. Are we too fragile a society not to confront one another in a polite but direct manner?)