Mommy corner

[EsOrEnNa 0]

(apparently too much soy milk can cause the estrogen levels in boys to increase so you have to be careful).

mhh i am not worried about that cuz D is allergic to soy

[EsOrEnNa 0]

@sleeping.. my my niece (15mo) goes to bed at 6PM and wakes up at 6am in the morning.. my BRO gets home from work at around 8pm so he never spends time with her unless its a sunday and he is off.. my SIL is a SAHM and she just watches TV and is lazzy around the house.. i would NEVER do that!! i wonder if she knows who her daddy is.. j/k... but i think u girls know what i mean.. and heck i dont wanna get up at 6AM if i am a SAHM..!!

Edited January 6, 2008 by Joel'sWife

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I was very drugged up esp the last few hours so I barely remember the whole thing, it is all in a fog (thankfully!). I had a really horrible experience and on top of that I came out with a nice 3rd degree tear, which basically wasn't a 4th because there was a little tiny bit of skin left (I know TMI sorry) that took them 45 minutes to repair and months to stop hurting!

But the result is what matters and I would go through this and worse to have my son again and again, I'm sure you know what I mean.

Sorry to hear you didn't have the best experience, look at the bright side...at least it didn't last 30 hours!

Well, it did kind of last more than 4.5 hours in some respects. After I gave birth, I was Not On This Planet for nearly a full day. I had no interest in my child and never even saw her after I gave birth to her earlier in the morning. It wasn't very romantic, more like traumatic. I am not sure exactly what went wrong. Theory is that she changed to an unfavorable position and that set my labor off to the bowels of Hell itself. The difference in the pain level of my contractions was like night and day, off and on switch. Literally, no build up, just one 'eh whatever' contraction to the next doubled over in the worst pain I will probably ever have in my abdomen. My labor was obstructed, the quality of my contractions became very poor, though no less painful unfortunately. The amusing thing was that there was no way to predict this sudden change in fortune. I had a picture perfect pregnancy and about the picture perfect no problem labor until then (about 9cm). I devolved into this raging, writhing, screaming, irrational beast. Hard to describe. At any rate, it was extremely counterproductive and terrifying. Like the me that is writing this post was thrown out of the driver's seat for the animal we all possess in us. I think it was funny, a few days later, the attending OB asked me if I understood German (he spoke no English). I told him, yeah I did. Then he said "Oh, well, you know, I wasn't sure after all of that." Heh, could have been speaking the Queen's English, it wouldn't have made any difference. Then he said some things about post-partum care. "Don't get pregnant for at least six months, preferably 18." I almost fell over on the floor laughing. No no.

My daughter did not escape the birth unscathed. She had a broken clavicle and was fairly jaundiced for several days until I could keep her awake long enough to really feed her. She spent nearly 23.5 hours the first few days sleeping. If I tried to breastfeed her, she would suck for a few moments and then pass out. It was frustrating.

I also tore, though not as bad as you did. Only second degree. What sucked about it was that the OB didn't take me seriously that the anesthetic only took on one side. He basically told me to suck it up when I complained. Other than that, my tear did heal nicely, though the few weeks before the stitches dissolved were no fun. I developed a fever immediately following the birth, but it was odd in quality and would come and go with no rhyme or reason. Eventually, I figured that I was just coming down with the flu my husband had and was going around. That was true, but I also had a uterine infection that went undiagnosed for weeks. The OB wanted me to stay in the hospital till we had the fever panned out, but I figured I knew better and hated the hospital after four days. I just wanted to go home even though I was having some serious warning signs not to like my milk never came in and had no signs of coming in. Eventually, I spent the next few weeks seriously ill. My husband and MIL had to take care of the baby. I could barely function. I was sick and hormonal and I made little sense even to myself. I felt a lot of guilt about breastfeeding. There was nothing I could take for my illness that my daughter could drink. They told me just to suffer though it. I tried that, but it was hellish. Eventually, I broke down and started taking drugs and got a pump, but nothing really came out. I got an oz out of both breasts if I was lucky. Most times it was barely a fourth of that. I was too sick to really do it regularly enough so whatever milk did bother to come out immediately dried up. It was too much work and all it did was make me feel like #######. I gave up around week 4 or 5, one of the better decisions I made.

Anyway, I think my whole ordeal lasted about 6 weeks before I recovered from both infections and could function as a mother. I think the tear took about 8 weeks to heal up. I got my first period 3 months to the day after I gave birth. I was so happy, because only then could I get my IUD. I was seriously pregnancyphobic for that entire time following the birth, especially when my husband was making a bit of noise about having another one. He since has changed his mind, but I think he was a little wacko too following the birth.

----

My daughter goes to bed at about 8:15pm and wakes up around 7am. She usually has an hour to two hour nap. She has always been a really good sleeper, even from the beginning. I think at 6 or 7 weeks, she started sleeping through the night. Every now and again, she would wake up, but she generally would go right back to sleep after eating. At 21 months, she gets mad if her sleep is disturbed at night. She will put herself back to bed if you accidentally wake her up.

It is cute now to listen to her try to talk. It is this weird mismash of English and German. Must be a little confusing, a lot of the simpler words are similar, some easier than others. Everyone right now is 'du', probably because it is easier to say than 'you'. She doesn't say a whole lot in general, but she understands a lot in either language. It is also helpful that some important words are direct cognates, like 'stop'. Don't use that word a lot, oh no.

[churipu 4]

I am sorry to hear it was such a traumatic birth...I am glad both you and your daugher eventually recovered very well from it, it must have been pretty bad on both of you. But all's well now and that's what matters, isn't it?

Sounds like your daughters sleeps as much as my son does, he just wakes up a little later in the morning, but as I said before there is absolutely no way to make him go to sleep any earlier and it actually works really well for us too since his daddy gets to spent plenty of time with him after work. Needless to say if he was grumpy or unhappy I'd definitely wouldn't force him to stay up to suit my needs...he always always always comes first!

I am doing the dual language thing as well and it's hilarious...he is actually doing pretty well considering the pedi told us he'd probably speak much later because of the 2 languages at the same time. I must say he is doing really well, he talks ALL THE TIME! No sentences yet but he knows many many words in both languages and understand commands and stuff like that pretty well. He also repeats everything he hears and he point at stuff and name things when he knows the word well. It's so much fun! Of course the way he pronounces some of the things he says is ridiculously funny. I can't wait until he actually starts speaking in sentences!

P.S.

I have a question since our children are so close in age...does your daugher have all of her teeth yet? Sean started late with his, he had his first tooth at 10 months, right now he has 16, his 4 canines just finished coming out. He is supposedly missing those 4 between the canines and molars (dont know the name in English) but it looks like there isn't a whole lot of room for any tooth to grow in there...my husband says the molars probably move to give room to those teeth but I thought I'd ask ...maybe your daughter completed all her teeth already. Unfortunately I tend to worry too much...

Edited January 7, 2008 by churipu

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I don't think she speaks as much as most children her age probably do, but I am not particularly worried because she consistently demonstrates that she understands what we want when we tell her in either language. She also understands things that she apparently would rather not like 'Fernseher aus.' (TV off) or 'Naptime'. Like your son, she also likes to point, ask, and repeat. She sometimes will bring me picture books and have me point and tell her what things are in them. Sometimes she'll grab my hand and put it right at what she wants to know about. It also will be nice to hear whole sentences from her, but no rush. She just got down that cheese is not pronounced keeesz.

Having her know both languages is really important to us. When she is old enough, in about two years or so, we can see sending her to a German immersion school for outside reinforcement. I suppose that would be more important since she is not going to have any siblings and no one really to talk to her around her own age in German.

She started teething around four months, so pretty early. Still, I don't think she has those teeth either to be honest. I remember looking in her mouth a few days ago and saw some blank spots about where you are describing.

[churipu 4]

I don't think she speaks as much as most children her age probably do, but I am not particularly worried because she consistently demonstrates that she understands what we want when we tell her in either language. She also understands things that she apparently would rather not like 'Fernseher aus.' (TV off) or 'Naptime'. Like your son, she also likes to point, ask, and repeat. She sometimes will bring me picture books and have me point and tell her what things are in them. Sometimes she'll grab my hand and put it right at what she wants to know about. It also will be nice to hear whole sentences from her, but no rush. She just got down that cheese is not pronounced keeesz.

Having her know both languages is really important to us. When she is old enough, in about two years or so, we can see sending her to a German immersion school for outside reinforcement. I suppose that would be more important since she is not going to have any siblings and no one really to talk to her around her own age in German.

She started teething around four months, so pretty early. Still, I don't think she has those teeth either to be honest. I remember looking in her mouth a few days ago and saw some blank spots about where you are describing.

I think she's doing really well actually by what you describe, especially because she is absorbing 2 languages at one time! It is really important to us as well that he learns both languages, besides we both think it will be an invaluable asset for when he is older as well for various reasons. And Italian and the Italian culture is also part of who he is and always will be, not knowing the language would mean missing out on a lot of things about over there. The main reason is still communication though lol Just to mention one, I couldn't imagine my grandma trying to understand what he's saying in English if I didn't teach him Italian

Edited January 7, 2008 by churipu

[Dr. Obvious 49]

My IL's do not speak English. Well, my FIL does, but only as it relates to boating/sailing in general. His English is poor at best, though he thinks it is funny on occasion to try. My MIL has never uttered a single word to me in English. I guess she can read it to some extent, but I have no idea what she really knows. She certainly doesn't feel confident enough to use it with me even in a joking manner. My MIL worried a little to me about her granddaughter being raised over here to speak only English and then she wouldn't be able to understand her. Heh, that is not going to happen. Seriously, learning a second language as an adult sucks and besides, she is also German, so it would be silly not to teach my daughter her own language.

[churipu 4]

My IL's do not speak English. Well, my FIL does, but only as it relates to boating/sailing in general. His English is poor at best, though he thinks it is funny on occasion to try. My MIL has never uttered a single word to me in English. I guess she can read it to some extent, but I have no idea what she really knows. She certainly doesn't feel confident enough to use it with me even in a joking manner. My MIL worried a little to me about her granddaughter being raised over here to speak only English and then she wouldn't be able to understand her. Heh, that is not going to happen. Seriously, learning a second language as an adult sucks and besides, she is also German, so it would be silly not to teach my daughter her own language.

Our very same thoughts exactly! The Italian language/culture is part of who he is and always will be, not speaking/knowing the language would mean missing out on a lot of things about over there so we want him to be raised as it is his other mother language as well. I have a couple of friends back home in Italy who were raised bilingual (one of them is actually German/Italian) and I think, as they do too, it was a tremendous gift their parents gave them. There are always various occasions in life where you can benefit of speaking another language perfectly.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

There are always various occasions in life where you can benefit of speaking another language perfectly.

Like when you meet your future husband or wife?

[churipu 4]

There are always various occasions in life where you can benefit of speaking another language perfectly.

Like when you meet your future husband or wife?

LOL That too! I was more thinking about when you can be lazy in school while others have to study hard for the foreign language you already speak better than your teacher, or when you make private translations or give private lessons in such language for pretty penny and everyone likes the fact you are a mother language, or when you land a dreamy job in some big company from the country where the language is spoken and they need another language speaking person and so on and on and on...lol

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I was more thinking about when you can be lazy in school while others have to study hard for the foreign language you already speak better than your teacher

I remember at my university that you would be kicked out of any class under junior level if they found out you were a native speaker of that language and then they wouldn't accept your native language as fufilling the foriegn language requirement if there was one for your degree. Wasn't THAT easy. I remember native speakers having problems in my senior level German lit courses just like the rest of us GSL speakers. It may be different in high school, I have no idea.

As for the rest of it, true true. It is absolutely an asset.

[churipu 4]

I was more thinking about when you can be lazy in school while others have to study hard for the foreign language you already speak better than your teacher

I remember at my university that you would be kicked out of any class under junior level if they found out you were a native speaker of that language and then they wouldn't accept your native language as fufilling the foriegn language requirement if there was one for your degree. Wasn't THAT easy. I remember native speakers having problems in my senior level German lit courses just like the rest of us GSL speakers. It may be different in high school, I have no idea.

As for the rest of it, true true. It is absolutely an asset.

Oh no, I wasn't specifically referring to university in particular! My cousins live in Long Island, NY and they just graduated high school a couple of years ago, they were both raised bi-lingual (their dad's my mom's brother and he's Italian) and throughout high school they didn't have to open their books once when it came to Italian, the teacher actually asked them to help every lesson since they were speaking better than she was. So I assume High School is different, they all knew their dad's a native Italian and that they were pretty much native speakers. My uncle made sure they knew how to properly write the language too so they truly mastered Italian perfectly. They don't even have the slightest accent although they lived here all their life. The oldest one is now in college and she is taking Italian classes now too, I have to ask what level they started her though I have no idea. So I guess you can still say you can benefit in school as well. Regardless I think it still make things easier to know a language as a native, even when you have trouble in very difficult classes as well...you just know how to think in that language too or so my friends/cousins told me.

On a sidenote...I know for a fact in Italy they don't care if you are a native speaker and take an easy class at any level of education...

YAY for bilingual kids!

Edited January 8, 2008 by churipu

[Dr. Obvious 49]

My uncle made sure they knew how to properly write the language too so they truly mastered Italian perfectly.

That is also important. My brother's girlfriend was originally Laotian. She came over here when she was about 5 or 6 and naturalized a few years ago. I said was Laotian because Laos does not allow dual citizenship. At any rate, although she does speak Lao, she is completely illiterate in it. Her parents never thought it was important to teach her how to to read or write it. Her siblings have a progressively worse understanding of Lao. Her youngest brother does not really speak it at all although only their father speaks English (though he was also Laotian) and the mother generally only Lao. So I guess what I walk away with from that is that sometimes it is just not enough that your parents speak a language if you want your child to be truly bilingual. Has to be some more active reinforcement and participation in the process than just speaking it. Not talking to you though because I know you probably know that, just making a general comment.

[churipu 4]

My uncle made sure they knew how to properly write the language too so they truly mastered Italian perfectly.

That is also important. My brother's girlfriend was originally Laotian. She came over here when she was about 5 or 6 and naturalized a few years ago. I said was Laotian because Laos does not allow dual citizenship. At any rate, although she does speak Lao, she is completely illiterate in it. Her parents never thought it was important to teach her how to to read or write it. Her siblings have a progressively worse understanding of Lao. Her youngest brother does not really speak it at all although only their father speaks English (though he was also Laotian) and the mother generally only Lao. So I guess what I walk away with from that is that sometimes it is just not enough that your parents speak a language if you want your child to be truly bilingual. Has to be some more active reinforcement and participation in the process than just speaking it. Not talking to you though because I know you probably know that, just making a general comment.

OH I know you were making a comment My cousins actually took classes when they were little to learn how to read/write correctly, study the grammar rules etc. My uncle also bought them tons of books every trip they'd take to Italy too to make them practise. If you learn a language by ear, you end up being completely illitterate in it just like you said. I want to make sure that won't happen with Sean or I don't see the point in even starting this.

Edited January 8, 2008 by churipu

[gabby4ever 1]

i learned english by ear, and im not illiterate....in fact, i think i know it better than my romanian. so i guess there are exceptions to the rule

ive noticed there are americans on this site who cant even spell properly so.....