To rat or not to rat

[sereia 0]

gotta agree with lisa on this one! i would never rat on a 'friend' for offering me (or anyone) marijuana and possibily ruining their career.

Edited October 15, 2007 by sereia

[trailmix 77]

The reason I was contemplating going to HR is because they dont restrict their offering of the substance to outside work.

So, as they also offer it outside work, but you don't call the police - it's not about the pot.

It's about the fact that they are annoying you. Destroying someones career and a large part of their life is pretty dramatic because of an annoyance

[yassmine2878 1]

Okay. Thanks for your opinions everyone. I think I have enough well-rounded advice to go on.

[chri'stina 190]

Id love to drop them both like potatoes sometimes. But I work with both of them in close proximity. Repeatedly telling them "No we dont want or need any" goes in one ear and out the other. The reason I was contemplating going to HR is because they dont restrict their offering of the substance to outside work. On the whole, Im not one to make waves. But this is ridiculous. How do you make someone understand that you're not interested without putting a boot up their a$$?

Good question. I have known people like that. They just don't listen and they assume everyone wants to smoke pot. Even if you say "stop asking me!" They'll still ask. Even if you say "drugs are disgusting and I hate them" a day later they'll ask again. Some people are clingy and even when you hint you don't want to be around them or want what they are offering they don't stop bugging you. And you are around them at work so that's awkward. I guess you can try to be firm and mean about it to make them mad at you and maybe they won't like you anymore and leave you alone. That's the solution I would try.

[SMOKE 1,426]

NO!! don't rat them out. if you have made it clear you're not intrested & they keep it up, change friends. if you go to HR w/ this you are not only turning your back on your "friends" but, their families as well..( if the get tested & fail, they not only lose their job, the also have a black mark on their employment record. it could cause them problems for years.) don't threatin them w/ HR either. that will put a black mark on you in your place of employment. it's their personal business not HR's. again if they keep on offering & don't respect your choice, just cut (after work) ties w/ them. don't do something that could ruin their lives over pot.

[KarenCee 3]

Um...all the advice is great...but what about your unborn baby? What kind of people do you want this baby to be around? Around people who habitually break the law with drugs that are illegal? So why not just drop these "friends" who can't seem to respect you or your husband AND your unborn baby?

Just my measly two cents worth.

Sorry, but what kind of people would those be exactly? Putting the issue of them inappropriately offering marijuana aside, how exactly is their marijuana smoking harming her unborn baby?

Yeah, Karen, I have to agree with Jenn here... It doesn't make the OP an unfit mother for KNOWING someone who uses marijuana any more than it would harm her unborn baby by knowing someone who was obese due to poor eating habits.

I mean, not the person you'd let babysit your kid, probably, but otherwise, not really a big deal. Chances are any middle-class woman has several drug abusing neighbors, statistically speaking.

Plus, if the illegality of the drug use is such a horrendous character flaw, it's that whether the woman is pregnant or not. The baby doesn't add anything except a 'but think of the children' trump card.

Read carefully...I said NOTHING about her being an unfit mother...implied or otherwise. That was your interpretation of my post. Sorry for offending you or anyone else with MY OPINION. Second hand smoke is dangerous to the mother, ergo whatever is dangerous to mom is dangerous to the baby.

I could careless what mom does, who she hangs with, or otherwise. I was merely wondering if she had thought about the implications of being connected to people who use illegal drugs and if continuing with such a friendship would send a good message to one's child. Like I also stated at the END of my post...it was my measly little opinion. I give them rarely and it appears I shall need to limit them even further.

[Nessa 23]

I wouldn't do it. And if it was bothering me that they were offering I'd tell them I'd appreciate if you didn't offer me anymore or I'd just quit hanging out with them. So simple.

[Caladan 19]

Um...all the advice is great...but what about your unborn baby? What kind of people do you want this baby to be around? Around people who habitually break the law with drugs that are illegal? So why not just drop these "friends" who can't seem to respect you or your husband AND your unborn baby?

Just my measly two cents worth.

Sorry, but what kind of people would those be exactly? Putting the issue of them inappropriately offering marijuana aside, how exactly is their marijuana smoking harming her unborn baby?

Yeah, Karen, I have to agree with Jenn here... It doesn't make the OP an unfit mother for KNOWING someone who uses marijuana any more than it would harm her unborn baby by knowing someone who was obese due to poor eating habits.

I mean, not the person you'd let babysit your kid, probably, but otherwise, not really a big deal. Chances are any middle-class woman has several drug abusing neighbors, statistically speaking.

Plus, if the illegality of the drug use is such a horrendous character flaw, it's that whether the woman is pregnant or not. The baby doesn't add anything except a 'but think of the children' trump card.

Read carefully...I said NOTHING about her being an unfit mother...implied or otherwise. That was your interpretation of my post. Sorry for offending you or anyone else with MY OPINION. Second hand smoke is dangerous to the mother, ergo whatever is dangerous to mom is dangerous to the baby.

I could careless what mom does, who she hangs with, or otherwise. I was merely wondering if she had thought about the implications of being connected to people who use illegal drugs and if continuing with such a friendship would send a good message to one's child. Like I also stated at the END of my post...it was my measly little opinion. I give them rarely and it appears I shall need to limit them even further.

Easy now. I'm allowed to respond to your posts, and I wasn't offended. No need to limit your opinions at all. Saying 'it's my opinion' doesn't mean that no one should respond to you.

[*JG* 2]

If you knew some folks at work were doing drugs, would you rat them out? Here's the deal: A couple of friends at work have regularly offered my husband and I pot. Neither of us want it and Im rather offended that they keep offering it. It's getting so we can no longer spend social time with them. One of the friends is also freshly out of rehab and on probation. Normally I dont give a ####### what people do with their own money and bodies, but this is getting really annoying. So should I rat them out to HR? Anonymously suggest some random drug testing? Telling the friends 'no' isnt working very well.

Well, my husband is from Jamaica, so, I'm going to have to say no.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

No. The rat is the lowest life form there is.