To rat or not to rat

[yassmine2878 1]

If you knew some folks at work were doing drugs, would you rat them out? Here's the deal: A couple of friends at work have regularly offered my husband and I pot. Neither of us want it and Im rather offended that they keep offering it. It's getting so we can no longer spend social time with them. One of the friends is also freshly out of rehab and on probation. Normally I dont give a ####### what people do with their own money and bodies, but this is getting really annoying. So should I rat them out to HR? Anonymously suggest some random drug testing? Telling the friends 'no' isnt working very well.

[Jenn! 918]

I think simply telling them that you want them to stop offering it to you and if they don't then maybe you'll have to go to HR will be just as effective.

[PaulineA 1]

I wouldn't rat them out. I would just tell them straight that I don't want any, and it's annoying that they keep asking. If that doesn't work I would ignore them, they might get the message then. If they don't then they are not true friends in my opinion.

[rika60607 215]

Yeah,

who needs annoying drug using friends anyway?..

Still, I would not rat them out, unless they put other people's life in danger...

I wouldn't rat them out. I would just tell them straight that I don't want any, and it's annoying that they keep asking. If that doesn't work I would ignore them, they might get the message then. If they don't then they are not true friends in my opinion.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Why would you ever rat out friends? It would take a lot more than, "You want some drugs?" before I'd ever turn in a friend.

[DeadPoolX 9]

Well, it depends...

If you're going to "rat them out," make sure you do it after you know your friends have doing pot and haven't been on a month-long break or something. The reason I say this is because marijuana can last several weeks in your system (or at least, remain in there enough to be detected through drug screening) and if you tell HR about this, I'm sure they'll want to screen these people before disciplining them (otherwise they could turn around and sue the company you work out for "wrongful dismissal.")

If you wait until the drug is out of their system (or they get wind of this and stop using it far enough ahead of time), then the tests will show up negative. You'll look bad then and they'll be in the clear. In fact, I'll bet you could be sued by them in that case for "defamation of character." So you'll want to make sure they've been smoking lots of pot before you tell HR and they get tested, so the screening shows them as positive.

Just some advice.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Anyone who encourages anyone to take drugs would not be any friend of mine... If they were to offer durgs to me the first place I would be going is the local Police station... people who do drugs and supply them to other need to be stopped...

Kez

[almaty 19]

i have friends who smoke pot./.for years and still do,....i would not rat them out...

[rika60607 215]

It's one thing they smoke it,

it's another when they keep offering despite being told not to offer anymore.

This show lack of respect (or poor memory).

i have friends who smoke pot./.for years and still do,....i would not rat them out...

[yassmine2878 1]

Very useful input. Thanks for the opinions folksies, I appreciate it. Normally I couldnt care less what people do on their own time. Im just getting irritated that they dont understand the words 'No thanks'. The last thing I need is pot. And the next to last thing I need is for me or the hubby to get caught with it. *shudder*

[Jasman0717 9]

[trailmix 77]

One other thing to consider, after you make it very clear that you don't want it offered anymore.

I personally wouldn't rat them out - however if you decide to, you might want to think about the effect it will have on the environment you work in. Have you ever discussed this with anyone at work?

If someone figures out it was you, the HR dept isn't going to be looking at you saying, she's that great gal who turned in the 'drug' users. You are going to be the trouble maker (maybe not to all, but to some).

Your co-workers may find out it was you, or suspect it was you (especially if you have ever mentioned it to them). It won't bother some, to some you will appear untrustworthy for causing so many people so much trouble for what (to many) is a non-issue.

I'm not saying you should or shouldn't - you will do what you want, I'm just saying you should ponder what the outcome will be for you.

As an aside, what kind of 'friends' are they? From what you have said this is a social setting where they are offering this to you, not in the workplace. If you object, you really should consider finding new 'friends'.

Edited October 14, 2007 by trailmix

[yassmine2878 1]

One other thing to consider, after you make it very clear that you don't want it offered anymore.

I personally wouldn't rat them out - however if you decide to, you might want to think about the effect it will have on the environment you work in. Have you ever discussed this with anyone at work?

If someone figures out it was you, the HR dept isn't going to be looking at you saying, she's that great gal who turned in the 'drug' users. You are going to be the trouble maker (maybe not to all, but to some).

Your co-workers may find out it was you, or suspect it was you (especially if you have ever mentioned it to them). It won't bother some, to some you will appear untrustworthy for causing so many people so much trouble for what (to many) is a non-issue.

I'm not saying you should or shouldn't - you will do what you want, I'm just saying you should ponder what the outcome will be for you.

As an aside, what kind of 'friends' are they? From what you have said this is a social setting where they are offering this to you, not in the workplace. If you object, you really should consider finding new 'friends'.

No, I havent mentioned it to anyone at work. I find the majority of people on VJ infinitely more trustworthy than the masses of women I work with. Im not too terribly concerned about being known as the narc, Im more concerned about getting my point across. One girl offers it regularly in her home, the other offers it at work. So Im kinda torn as to whether to treat it as strictly a social situation or a work one. Saying no isnt a problem, I repeat it often. But what really frosted my cookies is when one of them suggested (in a non-joking manner) that pot would make a good Eid present for my husband.

[trailmix 77]

No, I havent mentioned it to anyone at work. I find the majority of people on VJ infinitely more trustworthy than the masses of women I work with. Im not too terribly concerned about being known as the narc, Im more concerned about getting my point across. One girl offers it regularly in her home, the other offers it at work. So Im kinda torn as to whether to treat it as strictly a social situation or a work one. Saying no isnt a problem, I repeat it often. But what really frosted my cookies is when one of them suggested (in a non-joking manner) that pot would make a good Eid present for my husband.

So you go to the house of a person who has drugs. I am no lawyer and know next to nothing about drug laws in the U.S. (or anywhere else for that matter) - however is there any risk that you/your husband (who I am assuming is the immigrant) could be implicated if the police decided to stop by their house one night while you were there?

[doodlebug 3]

If you feel that strongly against it then I would sit both sets of freinds down, look them in the eye and tell them that it's offensive to you that you suggest that either you or your husband would want to smoke, then tell them that you no longer wish to be friends with them.

I think turning them in is a bit extreme.