Very hard question

[Flames9_RN 358]

Its a good question and many (not saying anyone here) don't think about it. Nor do they think about employment, adjusting to a new country etc etc. They just think about how they can get to the USA the fastest, and not the whole picture.

[Carlawarla 1]

AP will take approximately 3-4 months to receive. You can't apply for this until after marriage. IF something should happen before you get your AP in the mail, make an INFO pass appointment, bring documentation as to the emergency (death certificates, letter from hospital or doctor regarding imminent death etc.) and I'm sure they will get you something to leave the country with. A few people on here that have had to do this, got their document the same day and were able to leave the country. This is what you should tell your mother.

Hope this helps.

Carla

[Melyssa 0]

So last night I was going over (again) with my loving parents about the whole process Nicholas and I are about to begin.

My mom was asking many questions, one of them was "Are you able to come back and visit once you enter the states?"

I told you her of the AP option and she then asked "What if it's an emergency?" I said I had read that there was emergency AP situations but even then I didn't know if you could leave right away. I thought I had read somewhere it could still take a few days to a week to get approval.

She then said "What if something happened to your father and I, or your brother, would you leave and come home anyway and just start all over again?"

I couldn't answer her.

That question hurt me. What would you do in that situation? What if you had to leave in a days notice and give it all up because of a parent or very close family member?

Would you?

~Laura

I guess you can't really know until/if you are actually in the situation, but I'd like to say that while I'd desire to be home... I wouldn't risk having to start the immigration process all over again with a K3. I don't think it's right for people who are married to be apart for extended periods of times, and that is what would happen with a K3. It's hard enough to be apart on a K1 - but at least we aren't married yet.

For me, after God, my husband will have first place. Others are secondary - including family, as much as I love them - and I love them dearly. I am going to be so homesick when it kicks in that I am living in the States. My fiance loves my family a lot, and he will wait until I leave before leaving as well. If there is an emergency, I suppose he could go instead, while I am waiting for AP or whatever I need - that would be an exception. It would hurt not to be able to be there, but I don't feel it would be right to throw away all the effort we put into this process based on something like that, to start it all over again.

Edited October 12, 2007 by Melyssa

[trailmix 77]

I won't have to make that decision as we have filed for an IR1, but I would surely abandon the visa process.

I just wanted to clairify. I would abandon the visa process, I wouldn't abandon my spouse

Basically we want to live in the same country, if we were in the U.S. on say a K1 and we needed to come back to Canada - we would leave together.

Just don't want to sound cavalier like I would just - well you know what I mean

Edited October 13, 2007 by trailmix

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I won't have to make that decision as we have filed for an IR1, but I would surely abandon the visa process.

I just wanted to clairify. I would abandon the visa process, I wouldn't abandon my spouse

Basically we want to live in the same country, if we were in the U.S. on say a K1 and we needed to come back to Canada - we would leave together.

Just don't want to sound cavalier like I would just - well you know what I mean

LOL I know what you meant Trailmix!!!

[Melyssa 0]

I won't have to make that decision as we have filed for an IR1, but I would surely abandon the visa process.

I just wanted to clairify. I would abandon the visa process, I wouldn't abandon my spouse

Basically we want to live in the same country, if we were in the U.S. on say a K1 and we needed to come back to Canada - we would leave together.

Just don't want to sound cavalier like I would just - well you know what I mean

In abandoning the visa process wouldn't you have to go a new route (K3)? I understand what you mean about not abandoning your spouse, but in abandoning the visa process, I would feel as though I was abandoning my spouse, because we'd have to be apart again for a whole new visa process(unless I am misunderstanding something!) It's enough to be apart for one visa, let alone another... and what if a new emergency happened after the second process? So, I guess these things are good to think about, but not too hard. For me anyway!

Edited October 13, 2007 by Melyssa

[trailmix 77]

In abandoning the visa process wouldn't you have to go a new route (K3)? I understand what you mean about not abandoning your spouse, but in abandoning the visa process, I would feel as though I was abandoning my spouse, because we'd have to be apart again for a whole new visa process(unless I am misunderstanding something!) It's enough to be apart for one visa, let alone another... and what if a new emergency happened after the second process? So, I guess these things are good to think about, but not too hard. For me anyway!

Good point. The thing is we would just arrive in Canada and apply for his Canadian PR and then start the U.S. visa process all over again (he is already a PR here in Canada - but just as a scenario).

I think those of you who are apart from your fiance(e)s and spouses really really have a rough time of it - I wouldn't do it - but that's me. If, for instance, in order for us to move to the U.S. I had to move there first and establish a residency (for more than say a month) - we wouldn't be moving - or alternately we would have moved together and tried to do AOS.

Edited October 13, 2007 by trailmix

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I won't have to make that decision as we have filed for an IR1, but I would surely abandon the visa process.

I just wanted to clairify. I would abandon the visa process, I wouldn't abandon my spouse

Basically we want to live in the same country, if we were in the U.S. on say a K1 and we needed to come back to Canada - we would leave together.

Just don't want to sound cavalier like I would just - well you know what I mean

In abandoning the visa process wouldn't you have to go a new route (K3)? I understand what you mean about not abandoning your spouse, but in abandoning the visa process, I would feel as though I was abandoning my spouse, because we'd have to be apart again for a whole new visa process(unless I am misunderstanding something!) It's enough to be apart for one visa, let alone another... and what if a new emergency happened after the second process? So, I guess these things are good to think about, but not too hard. For me anyway!

I agree...they are good to think about, just not too much. Deal with it when it happens. I talked to my mom again and told her that I would try to get home asap and that if I couldn't, I'd figure something out, like having Nick come up to Canada with me.

She understood and said she never meant to make me worry like that.

I'm sure nothing will happen...just interesting to see what other people would do.

[trailmix 77]

...just interesting to see what other people would do.

Yes, you started a very interesting topic!

Edited October 13, 2007 by trailmix

[misa 2]

Situations like this is the primary reason why we didn't go with a K1 and instead went with a K3. I was allowed to come and go as I pleased prior to receiving my greencard.

Emergency AP is a possibility but it's always down to the immigration officer as to whether they will grant it or not.

Since you havent' filed yet, I think maybe you should consider a K3 or CR-1 instead of a K1 if you are worried about situations where you'd have to pick up and come back to Canada with no time for AP.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Situations like this is the primary reason why we didn't go with a K1 and instead went with a K3. I was allowed to come and go as I pleased prior to receiving my greencard.

Emergency AP is a possibility but it's always down to the immigration officer as to whether they will grant it or not.

Since you havent' filed yet, I think maybe you should consider a K3 or CR-1 instead of a K1 if you are worried about situations where you'd have to pick up and come back to Canada with no time for AP.

Thanks Misa..I have thought long and hard about this and I just couldn't do the K3 or CR-1 route. I can't possibly think of being apart from my husband for the first year of our married life. Torture. I don't want to get married until next year anyhow and if that is the case, we'd have to wait another year on top of that if we went the K-3 route.

The K-1 is the best option for us...the traveling part is the only set back.

I'll take the chance. I'm only an hour by plane and an 8 hour drive. If worse comes to worse, Nick will go up for me or we'll just leave together. (He wants to eventually move to Canada later on down the road any how)

I'm not in that situation so I don't know for sure, I'm hoping I'll never have to know.

Thanks for your suggestion though, it's appreciated

~Laura

Edited October 13, 2007 by ~Laura and Nick~

[Melyssa 0]

In abandoning the visa process wouldn't you have to go a new route (K3)? I understand what you mean about not abandoning your spouse, but in abandoning the visa process, I would feel as though I was abandoning my spouse, because we'd have to be apart again for a whole new visa process(unless I am misunderstanding something!) It's enough to be apart for one visa, let alone another... and what if a new emergency happened after the second process? So, I guess these things are good to think about, but not too hard. For me anyway!

Good point. The thing is we would just arrive in Canada and apply for his Canadian PR and then start the U.S. visa process all over again (he is already a PR here in Canada - but just as a scenario).

I think those of you who are apart from your fiance(e)s and spouses really really have a rough time of it - I wouldn't do it - but that's me. If, for instance, in order for us to move to the U.S. I had to move there first and establish a residency (for more than say a month) - we wouldn't be moving - or alternately we would have moved together and tried to do AOS.

Yeah - well, a big part of the reason we did K1 was because we didn't know about the other options. I probably saw some stuff about K3, etc., but at the time didn't know anything about it - so we thought K1 was the ONLY route (we weren't married and didn't know that we could get married and file for another type of visa that would have other benefits. Probably when we saw "spouse" we thought right away that it wasn't for us, because I wasn't a spouse. Now of course we're a lot more educated on different types of visas - mostly the K1!) And we're still glad we're going K1 because we'd rather not be apart while married (what the other options would require.) Him coming to Canada to get permanent residency here wasn't an option for us because of his job, and not something we really thought too much about because we realized that. So K1 still would have been the only option for us.

Edited October 13, 2007 by Melyssa

[Melyssa 0]

Situations like this is the primary reason why we didn't go with a K1 and instead went with a K3. I was allowed to come and go as I pleased prior to receiving my greencard.

Emergency AP is a possibility but it's always down to the immigration officer as to whether they will grant it or not.

Since you havent' filed yet, I think maybe you should consider a K3 or CR-1 instead of a K1 if you are worried about situations where you'd have to pick up and come back to Canada with no time for AP.

Thanks Misa..I have thought long and hard about this and I just couldn't do the K3 or CR-1 route. I can't possibly think of being apart from my husband for the first year of our married life. Torture. I don't want to get married until next year anyhow and if that is the case, we'd have to wait another year on top of that if we went the K-3 route.

The K-1 is the best option for us...the traveling part is the only set back.

I'll take the chance. I'm only an hour by plane and an 8 hour drive. If worse comes to worse, Nick will go up for me or we'll just leave together. (He wants to eventually move to Canada later on down the road any how)

I'm not in that situation so I don't know for sure, I'm hoping I'll never have to know.

Thanks for your suggestion though, it's appreciated

~Laura

That's pretty much exactly how we feel, and why we're still glad we're going with a K1, even though we knew nothing about the K3 or other options before. People on a K3 can still visit the U.S. though (something I didn't know before!) But still, if I was on a K3 I feel like I'd be more reluctant to risk visiting...and, having to be apart at all while married doesn't appeal to me or my fiance at all...even for a few days (such as for the interview.) Plus, it would be extra hard if I was pregnant...which is something that just won't happen while we're not married yet (Btw, we're about the same distance apart from our fiances!)

Edited October 13, 2007 by Melyssa