Redneck Jokes

[Jasman0717 9]

Redneck Book of Manners

1. Never take a beer to a job interview

2. Always Identify people in your yard before shooting at them

3. Its considered poor taste to take a cooler to church

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets

5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-haul to the funeral home.

Redneck Dining Guide

1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label

2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs

Redneck Home Entertainment

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist

2. Do not allow the dog or cat at the table no matter how good his manners

Redneck Personal Hygiene

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in the private using one’s own truck keys

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days; however, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money

3. Dirty and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman’s jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods

Redneck Dating (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date

2. Be aggressive. Let her know you’re interested: “I’ve been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago”

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10 pm; others might say “Monday.” If the latter is the answer, it is the man’s responsibility to get her to school on time.

4. Always have a positive comment about your date’s appearance, such as, “ya sure don’t sweat much for a fat broad.”

Redneck Weddings

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice of a wedding gift

2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may get your shot

3. For the groom, as least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with cummerbund and clean blowing shirt can create too sporty an appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say “yes” to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

Redneck Driving Etiquette

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duck tape

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer

5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving

6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession

Two reasons why it is hard to solve a redneck murder

1. All the DNA is the same

2. There are no dental records

[Ban Hammer 13,343]

2. Always Identify people in your yard before shooting at them

why?

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets

unless you have lotsa body hair and shed like a polar bear in the bahamas

[eric&gen 0]

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets

Dude the vaccum could be used for some good ole sucking too lol

[yassmine2878 1]

2. Always Identify people in your yard before shooting at them

why?

I agree. Why bother? It takes all the fun out of 'tourist season'.

[Jasman0717 9]

My sister cut these out of her newspaper. I think they are called Laughing Matters. She said it is interesting that the "rednecks" are the only ones left that are politically correct to take shots at. I think she forgot about politicians who will always be open season

[almaty 19]

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10 pm; others might say “Monday.” If the latter is the answer, it is the man’s responsibility to get her to school on time.

4. Always have a positive comment about your date’s appearance, such as, “ya sure don’t sweat much for a fat broad.”

things i did when i was in the south...

[Nessa 23]

:lol: that was so funny

[peejay 327]

Redneck jokes...

Are the Polock jokes of the 1970's and 1980's.

And the N**ger jokes of the 1960's (as told behind closed doors by Whites). Or in public by Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, etc. in the 1980's and 1990's. Or the Latino jokes of Carlos Mencia on the 2000's.

It only proves that every dog has it's day.

At what point do racial stereotypes cease to be funny? I'm not really offended (I have a thick skin), but I'm kind of curious as to everybody's opinion. Comedy etiquette usually proscribes that racial humor can only be perpetrated by a person of the same race as the target of ridicule. That unwritten rule has been around forever.

How can we have this racial utopia of a color blind society when the reality is otherwise? When does racial or cultural humor cease to acceptable?

That's my provocative statement for the day.

[Jasman0717 9]

Redneck jokes...

Are the Polock jokes of the 1970's and 1980's.

And the N**ger jokes of the 1960's (as told behind closed doors by Whites). Or in public by Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, etc. in the 1980's and 1990's. Or the Latino jokes of Carlos Mencia on the 2000's.

It only proves that every dog has it's day.

At what point do racial stereotypes cease to be funny? I'm not really offended (I have a thick skin), but I'm kind of curious as to everybody's opinion. Comedy etiquette usually proscribes that racial humor can only be perpetrated by a person of the same race as the target of ridicule. That unwritten rule has been around forever.

How can we have this racial utopia of a color blind society when the reality is otherwise? When does racial or cultural humor cease to acceptable?

That's my provocative statement for the day.

Isn't it politically incorrect to tell polock jokes now

Edited October 12, 2007 by jasman0717

[almaty 19]

Redneck jokes...

Are the Polock jokes of the 1970's and 1980's.

And the N**ger jokes of the 1960's (as told behind closed doors by Whites). Or in public by Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, etc. in the 1980's and 1990's. Or the Latino jokes of Carlos Mencia on the 2000's.

It only proves that every dog has it's day.

At what point do racial stereotypes cease to be funny? I'm not really offended (I have a thick skin), but I'm kind of curious as to everybody's opinion. Comedy etiquette usually proscribes that racial humor can only be perpetrated by a person of the same race as the target of ridicule. That unwritten rule has been around forever.

How can we have this racial utopia of a color blind society when the reality is otherwise? When does racial or cultural humor cease to acceptable?

That's my provocative statement for the day.

Isn't it polictically incorrect to tell polock jokes now

i think it is true of all ethnic groups..i was surprised that sanita said, in the soviet union the Poles were joked about being stupid...

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Redneck jokes...

Are the Polock jokes of the 1970's and 1980's.

And the N**ger jokes of the 1960's (as told behind closed doors by Whites). Or in public by Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, etc. in the 1980's and 1990's. Or the Latino jokes of Carlos Mencia on the 2000's.

It only proves that every dog has it's day.

At what point do racial stereotypes cease to be funny? I'm not really offended (I have a thick skin), but I'm kind of curious as to everybody's opinion. Comedy etiquette usually proscribes that racial humor can only be perpetrated by a person of the same race as the target of ridicule. That unwritten rule has been around forever.

How can we have this racial utopia of a color blind society when the reality is otherwise? When does racial or cultural humor cease to acceptable?

That's my provocative statement for the day.

Isn't it polictically incorrect to tell polock jokes now

i think it is true of all ethnic groups..i was surprised that sanita said, in the soviet union the Poles were joked about being stupid...

Ethnic groups? Inbreds are an ethnic group?

Edited October 12, 2007 by Mr. Big Dog

[Jasman0717 9]

Isn't it polictically incorrect to tell polock jokes now

I can't even spell