Funny Stories

[slim 1,525]

I meant "I do not know anybody who works for pleasure"

I completely agree with you on this topic. But I think you do know someone: Kotenochek, and her family

I've met a couple women "in the lady business" (otherwise known as the world's oldest profession) and they seem to do pretty well for themselves, well enough that they could've retired a long time ago. They keep working for some reason though. I'm not sure if it's for pleasure or not, but they're certainly not trying to find a "best customer" to turn into a husband.

(From what I've been told, and their actions supported it, they get to the point where they're addicted to the power they hold over the men they service, and the money that comes along with it. Once in another profession, they aren't treated with the same "respect" as while they're "working.")

[Buck and Natalia 0]

FUNNY STORIES - FUNNY STORIES - FUNNY STORIES....... that is the theme of this thread........... althrough I could write forever about how the radical elements of the feminist movement took control and sold American women a bill of goods.

In the beginning it was mostly about equal pay for equal work..... but, as the more radical elements took control, it was transformed into "men are bad" and included "men are condescending" if they are courteous to women (e.g. opening doors, giving up seats on bus, etc.). The end result was men being chewed out or verbally reprimanded for simply trying to be nice. Most guys I know simply gave up after 2 or 3 such negative experiences. I still do it for strangers sometimes but it is a total dice roll as to whether the woman will respond positively or negatively. Accordingly, I find myself limiting my politeness to women I know (family, fiancee, etc.) and letting the others fend for themselves. Sadly, because I limit myself, the politeness that was once second nature and an automatic response is now lost. I have to think about it and I sometimes forget even with those women close to me.

mmmmmm.... even now I can not stick to my own theme. My apologies. Somebody please rescue us from the feminism topic.

[1HappyGuy 45]

Bags, bags, bags! Oh my God, how could I forget about that. My wife saves every single plastic bag we get at the store. In fact she told me to not take paperbags but plastic ones. I hope she isn't planning on selling them for kopecks in Ukraine. Since she has arrived (almost two years now) we have plastic bags everywhere. She wraps everything we get in plastic bags and buries it in the refrigerator. I have to unwrap and open everything to figure out what it is. She even wraps things that have their own refrigerated container.

Every cupboard under the sink is filled with plastic bags. I don't mind her saving them but can't we find a way to package them so they don't look like packing material for shipping things. I have to pull out bags holding bags to find things under the sink like cleanser, ant spray, mouthwash or bar soap. Every bathroom waste basket has a bag to hold trash. Before she arrived I just dropped trash in the basket and then dumped the waste into the trash can before trash day. If the waste basket was dirty it was an easy job to wash it out.

I thought that article about trying to restrict Russian women from marrying foreigners was interesting. Maybe we should line up that guy with the people responsible for IMBRA. We could set up an exchange program where we will send American women to hook up with Russian guys. After all, a lot of American women believe they are the best women in the world, so how could that not improve the Russian gene pool.

[Buck and Natalia 0]

Bags, bags, bags! Oh my God, how could I forget about that. My wife saves every single plastic bag we get at the store. In fact she told me to not take paperbags but plastic ones. I hope she isn't planning on selling them for kopecks in Ukraine. Since she has arrived (almost two years now) we have plastic bags everywhere. She wraps everything we get in plastic bags and buries it in the refrigerator. I have to unwrap and open everything to figure out what it is. She even wraps things that have their own refrigerated container.

Every cupboard under the sink is filled with plastic bags. I don't mind her saving them but can't we find a way to package them so they don't look like packing material for shipping things. I have to pull out bags holding bags to find things under the sink like cleanser, ant spray, mouthwash or bar soap. Every bathroom waste basket has a bag to hold trash. Before she arrived I just dropped trash in the basket and then dumped the waste into the trash can before trash day. If the waste basket was dirty it was an easy job to wash it out.

I thought that article about trying to restrict Russian women from marrying foreigners was interesting. Maybe we should line up that guy with the people responsible for IMBRA. We could set up an exchange program where we will send American women to hook up with Russian guys. After all, a lot of American women believe they are the best women in the world, so how could that not improve the Russian gene pool.

Hahahaha... good story. On a side note, do you really think Russian men would be interested?

[katya_and_besik 0]

Bags, bags, bags! Oh my God, how could I forget about that. My wife saves every single plastic bag we get at the store. In fact she told me to not take paperbags but plastic ones. I hope she isn't planning on selling them for kopecks in Ukraine. Since she has arrived (almost two years now) we have plastic bags everywhere. She wraps everything we get in plastic bags and buries it in the refrigerator. I have to unwrap and open everything to figure out what it is. She even wraps things that have their own refrigerated container.

Every cupboard under the sink is filled with plastic bags. I don't mind her saving them but can't we find a way to package them so they don't look like packing material for shipping things. I have to pull out bags holding bags to find things under the sink like cleanser, ant spray, mouthwash or bar soap. Every bathroom waste basket has a bag to hold trash. Before she arrived I just dropped trash in the basket and then dumped the waste into the trash can before trash day. If the waste basket was dirty it was an easy job to wash it out.

My grandma had a similar plastic-bag-mania (this tendency to save "stuff" goes back to Soviet times when everything, from maternity clothes to plastic bags was impossible to find), but she used to go even further, she would wash dirty plastic bags and hang them up to dry, I hope she does not do that any more

Edited October 23, 2007 by katya_and_besik

[mox 298]

More thread rescuing:

When visiting my gal, I made the almost-punishable-by-death-faux-pas of sitting my shoes on the hotel bed for just a moment. I think it was at that point I learned there is a very, very scary lady lurking within my otherwise beautiful woman. I will not be making that mistake again.

[slim 1,525]

Bags, bags, bags! Oh my God, how could I forget about that. My wife saves every single plastic bag we get

After all, a lot of American women believe they are the best women in the world, so how could that not improve the Russian gene pool.

We have a similar plastic bag "collection" here, and since I work in a plastic bag factory, it really gets to me. I've probably handled more plastic bags in the last few days than most people their entire lives. Made over 40,000 today, and that's only because I was working on one of the slower machines. Some days I make over a quarter-million.

I'm not sure if American women would improve the gene pool or not. But, if you ask them, I'm sure you could guess their answer!

Hahahaha... good story. On a side note, do you really think Russian men would be interested?

50,000+ FSU women looking for "Western" husbands. Can anyone show me even 50 FSU men looking for "Western" wives? I'm no mathematician, but seems to me the numbers are completely one-sided.

My grandma had a similar plastic-bag-mania (this tendency to save "stuff" goes back to Soviet times when everything, from maternity clothes to plastic bags was impossible to find), but she used to go even further, she would wash dirty plastic bags and hang them up to dry, I hope she does not do that any more

My step-mom reuses sandwich bags all the time to "save money" because I guess at 100 baggies for $1.98, they're breaking her financially. Come on, at least say it's for the environment or something.

When visiting my gal, I made the almost-punishable-by-death-faux-pas of sitting my shoes on the hotel bed for just a moment. I think it was at that point I learned there is a very, very scary lady lurking within my otherwise beautiful woman. I will not be making that mistake again.

There are a stream of Russian curse words coming out of my mouth right now. I have had a few close calls with death, and sitting shoes on the bed was one in my house as well. I didn't know...... I sure know now! (Amazing what your sweet, innocent, darling little fiancee is capable of in a fit of rage, isn't it? Dr. Jekyl and Mrs. Hyde doesn't even come close to describing the alter-ego.)

[Satellite 1]

We have a similar plastic bag "collection" here, and since I work in a plastic bag factory, it really gets to me. I've probably handled more plastic bags in the last few days than most people their entire lives. Made over 40,000 today, and that's only because I was working on one of the slower machines. Some days I make over a quarter-million.

Wow Slim you actually have an American Manufacturing job! Now that is funny story in itself, since I was under the impression we sent all of those jobs oversees.

[Buck and Natalia 0]

More thread rescuing:

When visiting my gal, I made the almost-punishable-by-death-faux-pas of sitting my shoes on the hotel bed for just a moment. I think it was at that point I learned there is a very, very scary lady lurking within my otherwise beautiful woman. I will not be making that mistake again.

haha...... are you and Slim willing to share what your Sweeties said..... or how they looked? I have not made this mistake yet but now I am little bit apprehensive about it.

[mox 298]

haha...... are you and Slim willing to share what your Sweeties said..... or how they looked? I have not made this mistake yet but now I am little bit apprehensive about it.

We were getting ready to go out to dinner or something, and while she was combing her hair and doing some last minute make-upping, I sat down on the bed to put my shoes on. Not sure why I did it this way, usually I just slipped them on by the door. So I sat the shoes on the bed, and I remember her watching this through the mirror. She stopped what she was doing, her eyes grew wide, and she spun around and walked over to me. I got the pointer-finger of death aimed right at me and then the shoes. It's a little hazy after that...she yelled a bunch of stuff in Russian. I picked 'em up real quick, and she calmed down enough to finish chewing my ### in English. Something about how everything that was on the street now being on the bed, do I know how filthy the bottoms of my shoes are, and just generally being incredulous about how I could possibly have thought putting my shoes on the bed was a good idea. You'd have thought I'd just taken a dump right in the middle of the bed, which I suppose was the next worse thing as far as she was concerned. 30 seconds later it was over. She stopped and just went back to getting ready, leaving me completely bewildered. I spent a long time waiting for the (no pun intended) other shoe to drop, but she was back to sweet little Nadya. We had housekeeping replace the bedspread while we were out.

The only other time I've seen her explode like that was when an inebriated ex-patient of hers (she's a nurse) recognized her, and started yelling her name and stumbling towards her, arms outstretched. She verbally unloaded on him, and the dude just tucked tail and slunk away. Hell, I wasn't even on the receiving end of it and I felt my testicles shrivel up into my throat. She later said he's a meth addict and he'd promised her that he would stop using. Clearly he'd broken his promise, thus incurring her wrath. That one only lasted about 10 seconds, and then she was fine. It's pretty surreal.

Yeah...gonna be good times ahead...

Edited October 23, 2007 by moxcamel

[Buck and Natalia 0]

haha...... are you and Slim willing to share what your Sweeties said..... or how they looked? I have not made this mistake yet but now I am little bit apprehensive about it.

We were getting ready to go out to dinner or something, and while she was combing her hair and doing some last minute make-upping, I sat down on the bed to put my shoes on. Not sure why I did it this way, usually I just slipped them on by the door. So I sat the shoes on the bed, and I remember her watching this through the mirror. She stopped what she was doing, her eyes grew wide, and she spun around and walked over to me. I got the pointer-finger of death aimed right at me and then the shoes. It's a little hazy after that...she yelled a bunch of stuff in Russian. I picked 'em up real quick, and she calmed down enough to finish chewing my ### in English. Something about how everything that was on the street now being on the bed, do I know how filthy the bottoms of my shoes are, and just generally being incredulous about how I could possibly have thought putting my shoes on the bed was a good idea. You'd have thought I'd just taken a dump right in the middle of the bed, which I suppose was the next worse thing as far as she was concerned. 30 seconds later it was over. She stopped and just went back to getting ready, leaving me completely bewildered. I spent a long time waiting for the (no pun intended) other shoe to drop, but she was back to sweet little Nadya. We had housekeeping replace the bedspread while we were out.

The only other time I've seen her explode like that was when an inebriated ex-patient of hers (she's a nurse) recognized her, and started yelling her name and stumbling towards her, arms outstretched. She verbally unloaded on him, and the dude just tucked tail and slunk away. Hell, I wasn't even on the receiving end of it and I felt my testicles shrivel up into my throat. She later said he's a meth addict and he'd promised her that he would stop using. Clearly he'd broken his promise, thus incurring her wrath. That one only lasted about 10 seconds, and then she was fine. It's pretty surreal.

Yeah...gonna be good times ahead...

Well......... we like them that way........ exactly because they have that sort of potential. RRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr .......

[katya_and_besik 0]

haha...... are you and Slim willing to share what your Sweeties said..... or how they looked? I have not made this mistake yet but now I am little bit apprehensive about it.

We were getting ready to go out to dinner or something, and while she was combing her hair and doing some last minute make-upping, I sat down on the bed to put my shoes on. Not sure why I did it this way, usually I just slipped them on by the door. So I sat the shoes on the bed, and I remember her watching this through the mirror. She stopped what she was doing, her eyes grew wide, and she spun around and walked over to me. I got the pointer-finger of death aimed right at me and then the shoes. It's a little hazy after that...she yelled a bunch of stuff in Russian. I picked 'em up real quick, and she calmed down enough to finish chewing my ### in English. Something about how everything that was on the street now being on the bed, do I know how filthy the bottoms of my shoes are, and just generally being incredulous about how I could possibly have thought putting my shoes on the bed was a good idea. You'd have thought I'd just taken a dump right in the middle of the bed, which I suppose was the next worse thing as far as she was concerned. 30 seconds later it was over. She stopped and just went back to getting ready, leaving me completely bewildered. I spent a long time waiting for the (no pun intended) other shoe to drop, but she was back to sweet little Nadya. We had housekeeping replace the bedspread while we were out.

The only other time I've seen her explode like that was when an inebriated ex-patient of hers (she's a nurse) recognized her, and started yelling her name and stumbling towards her, arms outstretched. She verbally unloaded on him, and the dude just tucked tail and slunk away. Hell, I wasn't even on the receiving end of it and I felt my testicles shrivel up into my throat. She later said he's a meth addict and he'd promised her that he would stop using. Clearly he'd broken his promise, thus incurring her wrath. That one only lasted about 10 seconds, and then she was fine. It's pretty surreal.

Yeah...gonna be good times ahead...

Well, I must admit, I do the same thing.

What makes me wonder is why would you ever put your shoes on the bed? why?

Yeah, and please tell me why don't people take their shoes off when they come in? this is disgusting!

Edited October 24, 2007 by katya_and_besik

[mox 298]

Well, I must admit, I do the same thing.

What makes me wonder is why would you ever put your shoes on the bed? why?

Well.......it sorta seemed like a good idea at the time. I guarantee I'll never do it again though.

Yeah, and please tell me why don't people take their shoes off when they come in? this is disgusting!

I guess that's just one of those American things. I'm not sure why we do it. A good friend of mine married a Canadian woman, and they remove their shoes in the house now. I've gotten in the habit of removing mine in my apartment as well, just because I know it'll be expected when she gets here. But I grew up never having removed my shoes in the house, and I remember that as a kid I thought it was so strange when I visited friends who did remove their shoes. We always thought it was Japanese or something.

I've gotta know, Katya, how on earth do you Russian ladies turn your anger on and off so quick? It's freaking scary!!

[Brian & Elena 0]

Ok...first off...my grandfather (who went through the Depression) used to wash, dry and re-use paper towels....

Secondly...don't get me started on the shoes...all I know is take them off BEFORE entering the home....as I was reading that story to Elena she started in before I could say what happend about why would you put your shoes on the bed....lol...my sweet innocent thing has a fire hiding inside her as well...trust me....I've seen it...

Thirdly as I am here in Russia....it drives me crazy that you have to PAY for the plastic bags at MOST if not all of the stores and the markets here....granted they are very inexpensive...(1-5 rubles)...but still...you have a basket full of stuff and they ask you if you want a "packet"....duh....and then they charge you for it....so depending on where in Russia and how much the average wage is in that part (here I think it's about $250-$350 per month) it is just a logical and economical thing for them to save their bags. I will tell you though that most of the bags that you buy here are incredibly strong...I couldn't believe how much weight one of them could hold without breaking...we had a ton of potatos plus other stuff in one and no sign of tearing...only the blood being cutoff to my fingers as I carried the damn thing around....I really should get one of those plastic handles that has a claw to hold the bags in....lol

Lastly...I'll give you one of my funny stories.....one of the first times I was over here with my then girlfriend...we had been away at a quiet hotel in the country for a few days and after being home a few more there was a bit of laundry to do....and as no one in this city has a clothes dryer....everyone puts there clothes on some sort of clothes line to hang dry...which afterwards requires IRONing of almost every item.....anyhow....as my wife was ironing maybe my fifth button-down Polo or oxford style shirt and still with a few more to do...she put down the iron and said if I have to iron like this for a man all my life I will NEVER marry...or something to that effect....and then I said, "Don't worry in the US I takes all of these shirts to the dry cleaners and they wash and press (iron) them all for $0.99 each." Suddenly her mood perked up and she resumed ironing and said, "Ok, then I will marry." I know I'm not capturing the whole effect, as I'm an awful stroy teller, but I was crying I was laughing so hard.

Edited October 24, 2007 by Brian & Elena

[groovlstk 0]

Anyone try using a washing machine in Russia or Ukraine and notice how long the cycle lasts?

On my very first trip I rented a small studio that had the western amenities I wanted, including a washing machine. One night I returned to my apt. around midnight and decided to do a quick wash before I went to bed. At 1AM I was too sleepy so I crashed, only to be woken periodically by the washer as it cycled and spun and rinsed. I couldn't figure out which controls stopped or paused the cycle, so I had no choice but to let it finish.

The last time I was awakened, about 3AM, I remember thinking "please God, when will it end!?!?!"

One thing I found interesting was that most Russian people I know who have washing machines have no set place to situate them. Some were in bathrooms, some in kitchens, others in living rooms