Yallah Middle East 2.0

[amal 4]

HI LADIES (& LULU TOO)

I have been listening to this radio station for a couple of years now and I really like it. Its a French station but geared towards arabian people.

http://www.rmc-mo.com/en/index.asp?PageUrl=

top right of the page ..under "listen" click on "live brodcast"

They alsol play some english at times...

As to the comment on husbands and the fighting...never happens on his end here..its always me. I think he's taught me to be much better about it since he's been here. I love him so much for that! I have learned from him the patience it takes to remain "semi" calm during a disagreement. Most of my previous relationships revolved around yelling and arguing so it has taken a lot of adjusting for me to not yell about what I want and to just talk about it. Maybe it sounds odd to you girls but it was a real issue for me. Most of the time he will sit there and just take it from me while i vent. I've never had that respect from anyone..

OH and for anyone who might think he'd get mad at me saying this..he's right beside me now reading as I type so no worries

amal

[Dixie_Peach 1]

OK, angelk96, I wandered back as you said.

I just wanted to say, for those of you who have had that "empty" or "numb" feeling (and I think we all have at some point or two) don't let it worry. Sometimes the heart and mind must take themselves a vacation with or without our approval. It will pass when you are rested. Just be gentle to yourself in this time, do little things that please only you.

Be well.

*huuuuuge hugs*

glad you are feeling better... and that is absolutely true advice that you give!

[Together4ever 1]

OK, angelk96, I wandered back as you said.

I just wanted to say, for those of you who have had that "empty" or "numb" feeling (and I think we all have at some point or two) don't let it worry. Sometimes the heart and mind must take themselves a vacation with or without our approval. It will pass when you are rested. Just be gentle to yourself in this time, do little things that please only you.

Be well.

*huuuuuge hugs*

glad you are feeling better... and that is absolutely true advice that you give!

Ha ha. That "feeling better" thing is up for grabs.

On the topic of fighting, Mohammed is the first person in my long life to teach me you can fight as a couple and it is not the end of the relationship, as someone else stated they used to feel too, and that its ok to be human in all aspects with him and he will love me and honor me regardless. Man, that just makes me respect him all that much more. He just laughs and says, "Well you know in Egypt, we will fight over a spoon! Just relax." What was most shocking to me was my own stupid perceptions of fighting! Where did I pick up such silly thinking?! Amazing thing how a deep relationship can make you see things in yourself. Anyway, back to work...

[AngelK96 0]

Welcome back just_waiting I'm glad you decided to join us here!!!!

Ok as for the fruit i was just intrigued about it because i remember her telling us that some women eat it when they are in labor and it helps, as for me eating it. I'll be having two big containers on each side of me with both my hands filled trying to stuff them in my mouth.. If and when i do go into labor I am for sure going to get an epidural heck with that natural labor had that been there never want that again . I had back labor and i felt like my back was going to back in two.

[~Jackie~ 30]

OH and for anyone who might think he'd get mad at me saying this..he's right beside me now reading as I type so no worries

Jackie

[UmmSqueakster 54]

One issue I've been struggling with is intonation while "discussing" something. For me, I subconciously listen for verbal cues to indicate how a person feels. One thing I noticed while in Egypt was that a lot of people seemed to be arguing (I think JP mentioned something about this ealier), but that it was just how they normally speak.

So, when my husband and I discuss something, he sounds agitated, I get agitated and the whole thing explodes. I'm working on remaining calm and not reacting and elevating the situation into a fight. I've mentioned this to him, that he sounds upset, and he'll be suprised and say he's not. So, we're both aware of the situation and inshaAllah we'll work on it.

[~Jackie~ 30]

I have learned over the last 1 1/2 years, to not fight. And oh boy,,,that was hard from me. My past relationships were volatile in nature, full of arguing, accusing and fighting.

With Mohammed, we have learned to stay calm because we went thru so much to be together....he did not come to America to be bitched at by me. I count my blessings that he is here whenever I get the urge to raise my voice.

Jackie

[UmmSqueakster 54]

With Mohammed, we have learned to stay calm because we went thru so much to be together....he did not come to America to be bitched at by me. I count my blessings that he is here whenever I get the urge to raise my voice.

Jackie

Very good thinking. I'm definately going to keep that in mind more often.

[Veiled Princess 1]

With Mohammed, we have learned to stay calm because we went thru so much to be together....he did not come to America to be bitched at by me. I count my blessings that he is here whenever I get the urge to raise my voice.

[jordanianprincess 0]

With all this talk about fighting, you guys reminded me of something. I don't even know if I admit this or not but usually when we fight, about half way through, I forget why I am mad.

I'm not the type to hold a grudge, I never have been. I usually get mad for 5 minutes or long enough to say what I want. If you ask me about it in a week, I will look at you like a deer caught in headlights because I honestly have no idea as to what happened.

He is really good at changing my mood too I can be in the worst mood and he will start making silly off the wall comments that catch me off guard. Then I start laughing and its the end of whatever was going on. LOL, I hate it when he confuses me.

[AngelK96 0]

Honeyblonde/Liz

Ok liz i'm looking at a house it's asking price is 90,000 in your opinion or suggestion what would you ask for it? I mean what would you offer???

Angel

I am going to see our realtor in a bit but just wanted to know how low can you go before they decline???

Edited April 25, 2006 by angelk96

[~Jess~ 0]

i wish fighting for us was an easy subject...................when we fight and this has been the whole yr and half we've been together, he will not talk to me for hours..........i used to pester him and pester him to make me talk and that makes him madder soooo lately i have just decided f**K it i will leave him be until he decides to act like an adult again and speak to me......i know some dont think it is healthy but my last marriage was all about arguing and usually i would get my a$$ beat so i am kind of timid when it comes to that because tho i know George wouldnt hurt me intentionally i know he has a temper and dont want it directed at me............i hate when we fight especially at night and we go to sleep not talking, that is the hardest for me because i dont like to sleep with a heavy heart.......................................speaking of fighting we are now...pretty much what we fight about these days is my lack of understanding Arabic and understanding his family ways, i dnt like to sit in a house with people and listen to bullcrap for hours, i dont like to go visit people every day.....i like to stay home, spend time with him alone, hang out by myself, go for rides with no purpose of stopping to see someone.................he just doesnt understand that, neither does his family so we end up fighting and he gets mad at me, and i just start cryin like a baby....................ahh well guess another night i go to sleep alone and sad..........

[lostinlove228 0]

Athens finally confirmed that they have has my case since March 3rd and gave me my case #.

jess

That is usually the biggest problem when 2 people from 2 different cultures get together. You guys need to take time to understand each other and come to a comprimise. Visit people once or twice a week. try to talk things out without fighting. Have discussions. Don't pester him when he is mad, make him come to you and apologize. Take an initiative to understand him and his family. Don't go about it with you thinking about the American way, or your way. Be objective. If you guys don't try to understand each other your marriage is doomed.

[Together4ever 1]

Athens finally confirmed that they have has my case since March 3rd and gave me my case #.

Wow! Bet that's a great feeling!

[AngelK96 0]

Congratulations Lost in Love!!!!!

You know my first marriage my ex was away a lot because his work required to travel a lot. Basically I was alone. We also didn't communicate that much about our feelings. Usually we just kept what we thought to ourselves because we didn't want to upset each other i guess. Anyways it drove us apart the lack of communication. I have a lot of respect for my ex because he is an excellent father and provider! The only thing was I fell out of love.

Then I met my husband now! It is totally different. We communicate on all levels there are times when I will get silent and go in my own little world worrying about things. But he will start talking and talking and then I will have no choice but to say what is on my mind. When i mentioned earlier about yelling and shouting it wasn't about fighting. We have disagreements but what marriage doesn't. I just like that fact we communication even if it's "talking loudly,shouting or yelling" at each other. I never been in a relationship where we fought alot actually I only been with my ex and my husband now, so i really don't have experience to share on that part. I will suggest to whoever may read this that if you feel you are in an unhealthy relationship and it's starting to affected your health in any way. it's time to re evaluate why you are in the situation and what is the best solution for you to either fix if you can or get out while you still can.

JessNGeorge I am going to agree with lostinlove, when you come from two cultures that are so different for example the language and the habits. It's going to be very difficult. you are living in another country so different from yours and to be honest you are totally dependent on your husband there. I wish i can say something to make you feel better give you a quick fix, but there isn't an quick solutions. Try different ways of communicating to him to let him know exactly how you feel about some of the things you mentioned if it makes him mad or angry then back off and think about a different approach. I hope some of the other girls here can offer some better solutions or just offer support. Thanks for coming here and having the courage to share your feelings!!!!!

take care yourself!!!

Angel