Yallah Middle East 2.0

[AInfante-Saraireh 0]

Faisal didn't get into trouble. Everything is cool! But I'm not. Today, things just hit me. This has all cost me so much money. I'm not even excited about the I130 being approved, not excited about anything. Actually, I feel not having any emotion but yet I am so emotional today. I feel there is no other way to make life at ease for now because I am not at ease.

Happy belated Easter, JP. Wasnt' sure if you were Orthodox or Catholic. I have many greek and coptic friends and I know they celebrated Easter yesterday!

[AngelK96 0]

andrea I can totally empathize with you!

I remember thinking the same thing and feeling the same thing as you.

To be honest it is a lot of money to spend on both petitions. You do have

the option to just go with the K3 and adjust status when he is here. That way you can

save up the money for the adjustment. Remember August is not that far off even though

it seems that way. It just totally sucks to be away from your husband this long I know the

feeling. You are going to be going thru little bouts of depression. Some days are better than others

and some days are just soo bad. The only thing at got me through these times were work and talking

to Anmar every night. I know there were a lot of time he just let me vent on him and didn't say anything just try to reassure me. Then when i would realize what i was doing, i would apologize to him. He would

just say you are my wife and like we promised each other, we would go through this life hand and hand..sigh!!

Keep your chin up things will get better

Angel

[honeyblonde 0]

Wow Angel, your Anmar sounds so much like Abdel.

Andrea, Angel is right. Any relationship is fraught with fear of doing the wrong thing, but when it's with someone overseas, and you're putting up a lot of money up front, there are just going to be days when you feel like you're making a huge mistake. When you have those days, don't do anything drastic. Just feel the pain, wallow in it a little if necessary, then try to get past it.

I know you're expressed a fear that you are being used, much as most here have probably done at one time or another, even if they don't admit it. If it's any help, in my last marriage, my ex kept track of every penny I spent on him and insisted that he owed me the money. His reason was that he wasn't ever going to let a woman support him, but now I look back on it and realize he was just adding up the cost of a green card. While I can't promise you that your man trusting you to take care of this process means that he isn't using you, I can promise you that just because he is letting you shoulder much of the burden doesn't mean he IS using you. Considering our guys circumstances, it isn't like they have a lot of choices during this process.

I'm glad he didn't get in trouble on his job. I know it is a huge burden to have half of yourself living across the ocean. It can leave such a feeling of helplessness when there is nothing you can do. I understand. While Abdel and I were waiting for his interview his brother was attacked and had the side of his skull bashed in. Those who were here then can tell you some of what we went through. Abdel's older sister is a nurse, and his 19 year old niece is a nursing student, so he went with them to stay with his brother when he traveled to Fes for surgery. Abdel fetched food and supplies and was the general "take care of the nurses so they could take care of his brother" person. After they got home his brother was having seizures and Abdel was his constant companion. He even had to go in the bathroom with him in case he had a seizure there. His brother didn't know he was having them, so he got very upset at Abdel having to follow him everywhere. They waited several months to even tell him about them and when they did, he didn't believe them. Poor Abdel had to stay by his side, wake up his sister when there was a seizure, and listen to his brother moaning in pain all night. Needless to say I wanted so bad to just fly over there and take care of Abdel. He is already a tiny guy, but during this ordeal he started looking like a skeleton. We did make it through this horrible time, and it made our bond so much stronger. Hang in there, the sun will come back up!

I don't have a lot of time for instant messages, but if you need to talk send me a PM on here and I will try to be there for you.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Faisal didn't get into trouble. Everything is cool! But I'm not. Today, things just hit me. This has all cost me so much money. I'm not even excited about the I130 being approved, not excited about anything. Actually, I feel not having any emotion but yet I am so emotional today. I feel there is no other way to make life at ease for now because I am not at ease.

Happy belated Easter, JP. Wasnt' sure if you were Orthodox or Catholic. I have many greek and coptic friends and I know they celebrated Easter yesterday!

Thanks Andrea, I'm glad to hear that Faisal didin't get into trouble. This process is just one big roller-coaster. I remember when my fiance asked me to marry him. I said yes but it didn't actually hit me that I was getting married until I got engaged formally which was 5 months later. There are good days and there are bad days. I am 100% certain my fiance is not using me for a green card, why? Because I choose to believe that way. I don't want to let doubts get in mind and to be honest he has never given me a reason to have any. There is no way to really know what is going to happen, but the bottom line is I have faith in him and would not want to start our relationship or marriage any other way.

I know its hard not to let these thoughts get into your mind, but keep the faith. Does he make me mad? YES! Do we fight? YES Does that ever change anything between us? NO! When i committed to him, it was just that. In the beginning of our relationship when we would fight, I would assume that a big fight meant our relationship was over or going down hill. He has finally managed to get into my head that fighing is normal. I find so much comfort in that now. I know that if there is something I don't like or want to say, I can do it without worrying.

I think alot of Jordanian men and arab men in particular are that way. Fighting is a normal thing for us. I remember growing up, my parents fought alot, but they are till married and it will be 38 years soon.

Andrea - although its tough, try to stay positive. You are a wonderful person and Faisal is lucky to have you. Keep the faith in your marriage and it will get you through the hardest times.

[AngelK96 0]

Faisal didn't get into trouble. Everything is cool! But I'm not. Today, things just hit me. This has all cost me so much money. I'm not even excited about the I130 being approved, not excited about anything. Actually, I feel not having any emotion but yet I am so emotional today. I feel there is no other way to make life at ease for now because I am not at ease.

Happy belated Easter, JP. Wasnt' sure if you were Orthodox or Catholic. I have many greek and coptic friends and I know they celebrated Easter yesterday!

Thanks Andrea, I'm glad to hear that Faisal didin't get into trouble. This process is just one big roller-coaster. I remember when my fiance asked me to marry him. I said yes but it didn't actually hit me that I was getting married until I got engaged formally which was 5 months later. There are good days and there are bad days. I am 100% certain my fiance is not using me for a green card, why? Because I choose to believe that way. I don't want to let doubts get in mind and to be honest he has never given me a reason to have any. There is no way to really know what is going to happen, but the bottom line is I have faith in him and would not want to start our relationship or marriage any other way.

I know its hard not to let these thoughts get into your mind, but keep the faith. Does he make me mad? YES! Do we fight? YES Does that ever change anything between us? NO! When i committed to him, it was just that. In the beginning of our relationship when we would fight, I would assume that a big fight meant our relationship was over or going down hill. He has finally managed to get into my head that fighing is normal. I find so much comfort in that now. I know that if there is something I don't like or want to say, I can do it without worrying.

I think alot of Jordanian men and arab men in particular are that way. Fighting is a normal thing for us. I remember growing up, my parents fought alot, but they are till married and it will be 38 years soon.

Andrea - although its tough, try to stay positive. You are a wonderful person and Faisal is lucky to have you. Keep the faith in your marriage and it will get you through the hardest times.

Hehe JP ur quote about the fighting..lol I totally agree with that. Also want to add my inlaws are loud when they all get together, at times i would hear shouting between some family member and think what the heck who's arguing,l but turns out just a friendly disagreement. My husband likes that i am feisty. Actually asks me all the time if i am really american and not arab. When I start yelling/shouting at him he just starts smiling and calls me haiaty and albi..and we get over it and laugh. He also like to tell everyone our story how we met, how long we were apart..how much we love each other, how i am his heart..etc. All the girls at work tells me how much he loves me but i known that from the beginning that's why i married him.

Like Liz, i'll be online tonight since anmar has to work until 10pm. Msg me or i will msg you because i have not been on yahoo for a few days

Angel

[jordanianprincess 0]

Hehe JP ur quote about the fighting..lol I totally agree with that. Also want to add my inlaws are loud when they all get together, at times i would hear shouting between some family member and think what the heck who's arguing,l but turns out just a friendly disagreement. My husband likes that i am feisty. Actually asks me all the time if i am really american and not arab. When I start yelling/shouting at him he just starts smiling and calls me haiaty and albi..and we get over it and laugh. He also like to tell everyone our story how we met, how long we were apart..how much we love each other, how i am his heart..etc. All the girls at work tells me how much he loves me but i known that from the beginning that's why i married him.

Like Liz, i'll be online tonight since anmar has to work until 10pm. Msg me or i will msg you because i have not been on yahoo for a few days

Angel

LOOOOOOOL..when i was growing up my friends would come over after school and they would always ask me, why are your parents fighting? I'd say they are not fighting, thats the way we talk

[UmmSqueakster 54]

uploading for signature. please disregard

Edited April 24, 2006 by rahma

[honeyblonde 0]

Wow, now I'm actually wishing my husband was more Arab! Abdel is so sensitive! If I raise my voice or fuss he gets hurt and won't say anything for a while. When he does speak he wants to know why I got upset over something so small. He'll just say, "we could have just discussed it, it really wasn't anything to get mad about." He's just beginning to grasp PMS!

I think he saw his sister and her husband fight over stupid things and somehow thought that if you had a marriage based on true love (his sister doesn't really since the man she loved died of cancer) you just wouldn't fight.

He tells me he would never say anything to hurt me. It is hard for me because I'm much more toned down than my past, but even the simplest voicing of frustrations (for example: You have got to be the most disorganized person I know!) will really hurt him. I can't even say something like that half-joking.

I'm getting better - but it was a huge learning experience for me. I love having a man who is so sweet and sensitive so I know I want to adjust to what matters to him. Last night he told me he could tell I had a headache because my tone of voice was different when I hurt - and I hadn't even been grouchy! He could just tell I was in pain. That really amazes me after years of being with men who were so insensitive they wouldn't have noticed if I had a headache, and even if they did they wouldn't have really cared.

For once I'm sitting here thinking you girls are pretty lucky to be able to fuss and holler without being afraid of hurting your man. Oh well, I am thankful for what I have too so I guess it all works out in the end.

[iceyspots 0]

Faisal didn't get into trouble. Everything is cool! But I'm not. Today, things just hit me. This has all cost me so much money. I'm not even excited about the I130 being approved, not excited about anything. Actually, I feel not having any emotion but yet I am so emotional today. I feel there is no other way to make life at ease for now because I am not at ease.

Happy belated Easter, JP. Wasnt' sure if you were Orthodox or Catholic. I have many greek and coptic friends and I know they celebrated Easter yesterday!

Sorry about your emotions, or lack thereof... There are times too when I have an empty feeling...

[AngelK96 0]

Liz my husband is so sensitive too, but he's also very passionate and sometimes it just comes across in arguing or yelling at each other. But when i start doing the same thing it shocks him sometimes and then he starts smiling When you get to together with big arab families you see a lot of this and actually it's pretty funny and comforting when you come from a family that is similar. My husband likes to kid around with me and call me Najah ..he says ok Najah he said sometimes i remind him of his mother. I said is that good or bad..lol of course its good and says wallah enti majnoona enti habla .she is mother..lol Sometimes i just like to see him get like this way cuz he's just so darn cute. He just loves him mother and by the way you have a keeper there Liz !!

JP i wanted to ask you a question or maybe your mother knows, but there is a this fruit that grows in Jordan and Palestine that helps with labor pains. My mother in law showed me this sort of fruit grape shaped and she told me it helps with the labor pains??? I want to my husband to ask his mother but i'm scared she will start asking all kinds of questions

Angel

Edited April 25, 2006 by angelk96

[cbd2cai 0]

. . . I want to my husband to ask his mother but i'm scared she will start asking all kinds of questions

Angel

Edited April 25, 2006 by cbarrosmostafa

[iceyspots 0]

Tell her you're doing a research paper on citrus fruits and health benefits

[jordanianprincess 0]

JP i wanted to ask you a question or maybe your mother knows, but there is a this fruit that grows in Jordan and Palestine that helps with labor pains. My mother in law showed me this sort of fruit grape shaped and she told me it helps with the labor pains??? I want to my husband to ask his mother but i'm scared she will start asking all kinds of questions

Angel

Hi Angel.

I believe the fruit you are talking about is Al-Annab or Zizyphus. I'm not sure where you can find it in the USA but I did some research its also popular in China, so maybe a Chinese store may have some or a product made from it. I attached a pic, let me know if it looks familiar.

They can also be referred to as Jujube or Chinese dates.

So....labor pains, huh?

Edited April 25, 2006 by jordanianprincess

[Together4ever 1]

Faisal didn't get into trouble. Everything is cool! But I'm not. Today, things just hit me. This has all cost me so much money. I'm not even excited about the I130 being approved, not excited about anything. Actually, I feel not having any emotion but yet I am so emotional today. I feel there is no other way to make life at ease for now because I am not at ease.

Happy belated Easter, JP. Wasnt' sure if you were Orthodox or Catholic. I have many greek and coptic friends and I know they celebrated Easter yesterday!

Sorry about your emotions, or lack thereof... There are times too when I have an empty feeling...

OK, angelk96, I wandered back as you said.

I just wanted to say, for those of you who have had that "empty" or "numb" feeling (and I think we all have at some point or two) don't let it worry. Sometimes the heart and mind must take themselves a vacation with or without our approval. It will pass when you are rested. Just be gentle to yourself in this time, do little things that please only you.

Be well.

[LebaneseMama 1]

I can't wait to feel labor pains

You know throughout this process one thing has been great the entire time. Ali and I hardly ever have our bad days on the same day. Usually when he's in a bad mood, I'm in a good mood and vice versa. I think one or two days out of the year we will both feel "empty" but that's usually when we hear bad news. Like when the congressmen told us it could take up to six months to get an interview ... after the fact that we already waited six months. Yeah, that tends to pull you down.

Cheer up girls !!