Yallah Middle East 2.0

[honeyblonde 0]

[

Liz, I think you are so lucky in finding Abdel. Everything you say about him, makes me want to put Ahmed in the car (once he gets here, LOL) and drive over for a visit with you and Abdel. Maybe he can take the advice from an older "brother" on adjusting to life in America and living with an American woman.

Catherine

Wow Catherine, That's very kind of you. You and Ahmed would certainly be welcome to visit us any time, although we don't have a spare room any more. We turned my youngest son's room into an office as soon as he moved out. We'd still be happy to show you around Savannah if you chose to vacation here some time.

To comment on what Andrea said: One of my economics professors said the same thing to be about taking years to know someone. He was trying to explain to me why we needed so many observations before running a statistical regression to predict a reason for something. He then went on to undermine his own argument by telling me that he had been dating a woman for two years, and when he finally felt like he knew her well enough to propose, she dumped him. Yes, it does take time to know someone fully. I look forward to spending the rest of my life getting to know Abdel. One of the things I love about marrying someone from another country is how much there is to learn as you get to know them. You have other languages, other cultures, and even another country's history, all from a unique perspective you'll never get in any book.

Tonight I learned about a group named Moon Ray who sings a song called Comanchero that is quite beautiful. Every day we teach each other new things and our bond grows stronger.

I could sit here forever thinking of things to worry about - way beyond "is he using me for a green card?" Heck - there's always "is he a closet alcoholic?", "is he gay?", "is he a child molester?"...... heck, the list is endless. Yes we hear about women who learn things like that about their men after years together, but honestly I think the signs of any of it are there, if the woman doesn't ignore them.

Loved your pictures Allison. You two make a beautiful couple.

Edited April 9, 2006 by honeyblonde

[Veiled Princess 1]

what's that mean?????????

Which part? The verses I quoted from al-Quran and the two hadiths mean if you have something to say to or about someone then do so in private and do not backbite or slander them in a public forum... Subhanallah means Glory be to Allah.

[AngelK96 0]

Hello everyone i'm back from syria we had a great time. We had an engagment party and got a call from the embassy to pick up our packet three. We filled out the packet there and sent it in, so we should soon have an interview date!

I included some photos!!!

How long does it usually take for them to call after they receive the packet to set up an interview???

Welcome back Allison. Glad you had a great time with your SO in syria. Give us more details and great pictures. How was ur engagement party? Girl we want more details!!!!

what's that mean?????????

Which part? The verses I quoted from al-Quran and the two hadiths mean if you have something to say to or about someone then do so in private and do not backbite or slander them in a public forum... Subhanallah means Glory be to Allah.

I made this forum so all us women here and men can come here and voice our concerns. In the beginning there was no where us middle east gals and guys could come. it was mostly people from morroco in this forum. the only ones in the beginning was us jordan and egypt and west bank people. I hope you understand if MJ felt she could come here and voice her concerns and get some great feedback which she did.

Keep posting girls

Angel

Andrea I understand where you are coming from but remember why you married your husband. Just because it didn't work out for some people doesn't mean ur relationship is the same. I had no problem trusting my husband but that is because I knew him a long time before I married him and knew his family also. I am sure it is in the back of all people's mind about the green card, but when you decided to marry was that thought even in ur mind if it was than i'm pretty sure you wouldn't have married him. right?? If this is really concerning you send me a msg on yahoo and we can talk.

[JElsafty 0]

what's that mean?????????

Which part? The verses I quoted from al-Quran and the two hadiths mean if you have something to say to or about someone then do so in private and do not backbite or slander them in a public forum... Subhanallah means Glory be to Allah.

I think she was asking what "Subhan Allah" meant

At any rate, the newbies to VJ have been warned. I am sure as with any relationship they don't want to believe that the one they love would ever do such a thing, but it happens. Let's get back to posting the good things about our men now. If you have doubts about your relationship, then get out. I am sorry some have had some bad experiences, but please let the rest of us keep these happy feelings.

[~Jackie~ 30]

If you have doubts about the relationship get out ???????????????

I sure am glad I didn't follow that kind of advice while waiting 2 full freakin years to be with Mohammed. There were doubts aplenty and I am happy to report we have a strong marriage.

I am one of the few that has reunited and live with their SO. I stay on VisaJourney to help others going thru what I went thru.

My husband is a wonderful man. There was no way of knowing that from internet chats and a few visits to Jordan. But I had faith in him and in us, Alhamdulillah we get closer every day. But in no way would I want VisaJourney or this ME forum be a place where all we post is the good. Here, we deal with reality and I vote to keep it that way.

Jackie

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I think she was asking what "Subhan Allah" meant

At any rate, the newbies to VJ have been warned. I am sure as with any relationship they don't want to believe that the one they love would ever do such a thing, but it happens. Let's get back to posting the good things about our men now. If you have doubts about your relationship, then get out. I am sorry some have had some bad experiences, but please let the rest of us keep these happy feelings.

I strongly disagree. Many of those who have had bad experiences are long time VJ-ers. What right would we have to kick them out or make them feel unwelcome? Their voices are an integral and necessary part of the VJ experience. The immigration process and marriage are not all a garden of roses and hearing the negative can help to keep us real, so to speak. I sure as heck want to be able to come to my friends here when I've had a negative experience and either ask advice or share what has happened.

Since you haven't filled in your timeline, I'm not sure where you are in the immigration process. Maybe you haven't experienced anything negative yet. And maybe you will be that rare one in a billion case who never experiences any problems in immigration or in marriage. If so, then subhanAllah, good for you. But, for the rest of us, we need to be free to ###### and moan, complain and warn when we see fit. It's always advisable to do so in a pleasent manner, but heck, this is a message board and negativity is almost a given.

Why should we turn someone away in their time of need? I don't see anywhere in the VJ rules or introduction that says only happy people are allowed to post here. Every immigration based community will that a certain number of people who have been burned by the process. If you don't want to hear it, ignore them, but don't you dare presume that you can decide who can and cannot post on this board. If you want a place where you only hear positive things, then by all means start a thread and set out the rules for who can and cannot post in it. But this thread is a general thread, and there will be positive and negatives discussed on it.

[Together4ever 1]

Salamu alaikum

I want to ask the opinion from you all :

It has come to my attention that we have 2 new members, a husband and a wife(Islamically)Process is actually K1. In the past i knew this husband and he did some things that are just plain evil to myself and others. I am sure that his new wife knows nothing about his past doings. She is from USA and I believe that he is only trying to get here (USA) no matter what.

My question is: Should we make her aware of her husbands ways and let her decide?

or

Keep my mouth shut??

If you need more info to better help me just let me know. Thanks Alot .

I am backing up MJ 100% on this matter. I will say I know this person was talking to MANY women online while having a so called fiance in the states. When she came to her senses evil things were done to her and others then he made a comment that he was "already talking to someone in Canada he would visit." I know all this has happen in less than one year. Now he has "another fiance?" Just a big red flag to me. Many comments made to this person were comments one would think a terrorist would make. Really, it still scares me. In most cases I would keep my mouth shut, but I really think "###################" should know what her beloved fiance is doing.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنْ جَاءَكُمْ فَاسِقٌ بِنَبَإٍ فَتَبَيَّنُوا أَنْ تُصِيبُوا قَوْمًا بِجَهَالَةٍ فَتُصْبِحُوا عَلَى مَا فَعَلْتُمْ نَادِمِينَ

O ye who believe! If a wicked person comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth,

lest ye harm people unwittingly, and afterwards become full of repentance for what ye have

done.

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ فِيكُمْ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ لَوْ يُطِيعُكُمْ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِنَ الأمْرِ لَعَنِتُّمْ وَلَكِنَّ اللَّهَ حَبَّبَ إِلَيْكُمُ الإيمَانَ وَزَيَّنَهُ فِي

قُلُوبِكُمْ وَكَرَّهَ إِلَيْكُمُ الْكُفْرَ وَالْفُسُوقَ وَالْعِصْيَانَ أُولَئِكَ هُمُ الرَّاشِدُونَ

And know that among you is Allah's Messenger: were he, in many matters, to follow your

(wishes), ye would certainly fall into misfortune: But Allah has endeared the Faith to you

, and has made it beautiful in your hearts, and He has made hateful to you Unbelief,

wickedness, and rebellion: such indeed are those who walk in righteousness;-

فَضْلا مِنَ اللَّهِ وَنِعْمَةً وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ

A Grace and Favour from Allah; and Allah is full of Knowledge and Wisdom.

وَإِنْ طَائِفَتَانِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ اقْتَتَلُوا فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَا فَإِنْ بَغَتْ إِحْدَاهُمَا عَلَى الأخْرَى فَقَاتِلُوا الَّتِي تَبْغِي حَتَّى

تَفِيءَ إِلَى أَمْرِ اللَّهِ فَإِنْ فَاءَتْ فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَا بِالْعَدْلِ وَأَقْسِطُوا إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ

If two parties among the Believers fall into a quarrel, make ye peace between them: but

if one of them transgresses beyond bounds against the other, then fight ye (all) against

the one that transgresses until it complies with the command of Allah; but if it complies,

then make peace between them with justice, and be fair: for Allah loves those who are fair

(and just).

إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَ أَخَوَيْكُمْ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَ

The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make peace and reconciliation between your

two (contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that ye may receive Mercy.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا يَسْخَرْ قَومٌ مِنْ قَوْمٍ عَسَى أَنْ يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِنْهُمْ وَلا نِسَاءٌ مِنْ نِسَاءٍ عَسَى أَنْ يَكُنَّ

خَيْرًا مِنْهُنَّ وَلا تَلْمِزُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَلا تَنَابَزُوا بِالألْقَابِ بِئْسَ الاسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الإيمَانِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَتُبْ فَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ

الظَّالِمُونَ

O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter)

are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the

(latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call

each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be

used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ وَلا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلا يَغْتَبْ بَعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا أَيُحِبُّ

أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَحِيمٌ

O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a

sin: And spy not on each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh

of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...But fear Allah: For Allah is Oft-Returning,

Most Merciful.

Also translated as "Believers, stay away from conjecture; acting upon some conjecture may

lead to sin. Do not spy on one another or backbite. Would any of you like to eat the

disgusting dead flesh of (your brother)? Have fear of Allah; Allah accepts repentance and

is All-merciful)"49:12

al-Quran 49:6-12

Book 032, Hadith Number 6265.Chapter : The prohibition of backbiting: Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (sal allahu alayhi wa salaam) as saying; Do you know what is backbiting? They (the Companions) said: Allah and His Messenger know best. Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Backbiting implies your talking about your brother in a manner which he does not like. It was said to him: What is your opinion about this that if I actually find (that failing) in my brother which I made a mention of? He said: If (that failing) is actually found (in him) what you assert, you in fact backbited him, and if that is not in him it is a slander.

Related by Muslim (8/18) and Ahmad (2/303) from Aboo Hurayrah:The Prophet (sal allahu alayhi wa salaam) said: Do you know who the muflis (bankrupt one) is? The muflis from my Ummah is one who comes on the Day of Judgement having performed Prayer, fasting, and giving zakaat (charity). However, along with all of this, he had abused this person, and slandered that person, eaten the wealth of this person, and unlawfully spilled the blood of that person. These people will take from his good deeds. If, however, his good deeds become exhausted, then their sins will be put upon him and he will be thrown into the Fire.

Subhan Allah.

what's that mean?????????

Not all Arabic translates completely into English but subhan means immersed in or floating in. So "subhan Allah" means to be immersed in god. The meaning goes much deeper then the superficial one usually ascribed to it by westerners as "praise to god". I think its a beautiful term.

I am bowing out of the forum for awhile. I'm finding what I'm reading here to be toying with my already stormy emotions and its not becoming a positive influence. I need to go sort myself out. Wishing you all best of luck and answered dreams.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I think she was asking what "Subhan Allah" meant

At any rate, the newbies to VJ have been warned. I am sure as with any relationship they don't want to believe that the one they love would ever do such a thing, but it happens. Let's get back to posting the good things about our men now. If you have doubts about your relationship, then get out. I am sorry some have had some bad experiences, but please let the rest of us keep these happy feelings.

I strongly disagree. Many of those who have had bad experiences are long time VJ-ers. What right would we have to kick them out or make them feel unwelcome? Their voices are an integral and necessary part of the VJ experience. The immigration process and marriage are not all a garden of roses and hearing the negative can help to keep us real, so to speak. I sure as heck want to be able to come to my friends here when I've had a negative experience and either ask advice or share what has happened.

Since you haven't filled in your timeline, I'm not sure where you are in the immigration process. Maybe you haven't experienced anything negative yet. And maybe you will be that rare one in a billion case who never experiences any problems in immigration or in marriage. If so, then subhanAllah, good for you. But, for the rest of us, we need to be free to ###### and moan, complain and warn when we see fit. It's always advisable to do so in a pleasent manner, but heck, this is a message board and negativity is almost a given.

Why should we turn someone away in their time of need? I don't see anywhere in the VJ rules or introduction that says only happy people are allowed to post here. Every immigration based community will that a certain number of people who have been burned by the process. If you don't want to hear it, ignore them, but don't you dare presume that you can decide who can and cannot post on this board. If you want a place where you only hear positive things, then by all means start a thread and set out the rules for who can and cannot post in it. But this thread is a general thread, and there will be positive and negatives discussed on it.

I don't think I said anyone should get out or stop posting... all I am saying is to stop gossipping about others here in public and throwing this word "terrorist" around and grow up for the sake of Allah.

I am bowing out of the forum for awhile. I'm finding what I'm reading here to be toying with my already stormy emotions and its not becoming a positive influence. I need to go sort myself out. Wishing you all best of luck and answered dreams.

Sister, I'm sorry you're having such a stormy time. If you ever need someone just to talk to you can PM me anytime.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I don't think I said anyone should get out or stop posting... all I am saying is to stop gossipping about others here in public and throwing this word "terrorist" around and grow up for the sake of Allah.

I wasn't refering to your post, but to the one I quoted that did specifically say "If you have doubts about your relationship, then get out."

I don't know if we're specifically gossiping about people, but rather providing warning. And, warning someone, or narrating their bad qualities isn't necessarily unislamic. (I'm citing hanafi opinions since those are the most readily available online from the 4 madhabs).

I've heard a ton of horror stories about a sister getting married to a brother, everything all checked out with the wali and all. But then, the brother turns out to be a horrible abuser and everyone in the community knew that he beat his ex wife. Why wouldn't they warn the sister if they knew there was something that would harm her?

[windancer 0]

Hello all!Just wanted to say hello from jordan.Good to see my husband but th bad news is we got our interview date for january 25th 2007 But what can we say at least it is a date.This is a bad thing but we just keep hangin on.Guess i will be back here again in october.Hope all is well with everyone

[True Love at Last 15]

My intention was not to slander or gossip. I was asking the advice of the Vj'ers here.

Since the person invloved with the "un-named"doesnt choose to hear my warning, then so shall it be. I didnt say anything bad in regards to this matter.I say the truth and the truth only.

Nothing further will be said, and in the future I pray that Allah will help you.

[tnh9479 1]

Hello all!Just wanted to say hello from jordan.Good to see my husband but th bad news is we got our interview date for january 25th 2007 But what can we say at least it is a date.This is a bad thing but we just keep hangin on.Guess i will be back here again in october.Hope all is well with everyone

Wow! That is just ridiculous! Scheduling for January '07 already????

Best wishes to ya guys!

Twila

[Veiled Princess 1]

I wasn't refering to your post, but to the one I quoted that did specifically say "If you have doubts about your relationship, then get out."

I don't know if we're specifically gossiping about people, but rather providing warning. And, warning someone, or narrating their bad qualities isn't necessarily unislamic. (I'm citing hanafi opinions since those are the most readily available online from the 4 madhabs).

I've heard a ton of horror stories about a sister getting married to a brother, everything all checked out with the wali and all. But then, the brother turns out to be a horrible abuser and everyone in the community knew that he beat his ex wife. Why wouldn't they warn the sister if they knew there was something that would harm her?

Slandering (spreading lies) is never allowed and warning should not be done in public places. Also if the point is to warn someone then it should be done for the sake of Allah and not out of revenge because someone doesn't like another person and other childish reasons. And calling someone a terrorist because he may or may not have done something you like OR because he's from a certain country that you don't like is NOT appropriate. It is immature if not immoral and even dangerous (to the person accused) in this time with all the very real terrorism sweeping the globe. And having another person join VJ just to backbite/slander some more is also uncalled for. If you'll notice I did not respond to the original post where it appeared that she was asking for advice... I did not respond until after she went on to start name calling and then had an anonymous person join the forum for the sole purpose of assisting in the slander.

[doodlebugfor_u 0]

Where's the lies and the name calling? All I know is that if I knew that my fiance had 2 other fiances in less than 1 year....I'D WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT!

[AInfante-Saraireh 0]

Hey guys, I'm an oldie here also, maybe not as old as some of the other gals whose husbands are in the U.S. but been here and hung out through good or bad. Please stop slandering each other here. There is no need to argue against each other about happiness or aches and pains. We are here for each other because we have basically the same goal, our husbands visa. I don't think there is a need to quote from the Quran or the Bible, this is not a religious post. Please try to stay neutral. Angel, who began this thread is a wonderful, supportive person. If you are unhappy about interview dates, visa declines, loneliness, missing your husband/wife. worries, whatever it may be, happy or sad, that's what this post is for. If something is on someone's conscious, then let them speak their mind. As long as it's not an insult, so be it. If it is that personal and may embarrass someone, then by all means, post personally by sending an email to that party.

Angel, I'm ok, I was just a bit disappointed in the interview date and so was my husband. I was thinking that I would be like you, Dawn, Kelly, Amal and only have to wait an additional 2-3 months for an interview. The 5 months kind of swooed me the wrong way. No, even though I married my husband, at times there is still a green card momentum, lol This is normal from the stories you here constantly. I have met my husbands family too and that's not where I'm insecure. I'm ok with it, more so than ever.

And, I agree with Jackie's post regarding posting bad times or good times.

Take care all.

Andrea

Windancer. Sorry about the long wait, but we did discuss the situation that Amman has changed the policy. Hopefully, they will look into these files before interview date and see if there is any other needed document, otherwise, this could wind up be much longer than anticipated. Glad you're having such a wonderful time with your hubby. Inshallah! Stay safe, loved and healthy and a very safe trip back.