Yallah Middle East 2.0

[LebaneseMama 1]

OK I have a couple of questions that have been bugging me :

What does rajli mean ?

What does AOS mean ?

Thanks for anyone that answers my curious questions

Edited March 12, 2006 by LebaneseBride

[amal 4]

Hey everyone. My husband left a few hours ago to take a week vacation from my town. I'm really sad about that. After all the hard and tireless work I did to get him here...he's been here 3 months and already going away for a week. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy he has such a good friend to take him accross the country whenever they decide to go.. but I don't think it's fair, ya know?? It's not even for a job..it is just for fun. Just to get away. I want to get away too but I can't!! I have a son and a home and work to tend to! I'm not mad at him.. just upset with the situation. Maybe I'm just jealous?? Jealous that I can't do those things.... But then.. he is part of this family too and shouldn't he be here working and supporting the family too?? I can't sleep when he's gone.. I don't feel safe in my house... Things just aren't right....Sorry to rant and whine but I'm just really having a hard time with this.

amal

[MaryandMian 1]

AOS means Adjustment of Status. This is filed once you come to the USA on the K1 or K3 visa.

Amal,

I am so sorry honey to hear that your feeling down now. I am sure I would have mixed feelings if he was here and now on the road and your home with the kids. Have you got anyone you can buddy up with and do something fun as well? I guess you need to find you something to focus on and get thru this week but I would try and discuss how I am feeling with him once he comes back. Just see if you could find things to do as a family instead of going separate ways? Good luck and will be remembering you in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary

[amal 4]

I've tried to discuss it with him but then he says.. If you don't want me to go, I won't go... so then I say no no.. go .. I feel guilty for making his life so boring here... It is just better for me to not say anything and just let him go. Maybe if I had some friends here it wouldn't be so bad.

[AngelK96 0]

Too bad we didn't live closer to each other. Anmar is going through a lonely phase right now because as you know I have to work all day and he is home by himself and he misses his mother a lot.

I can't say what Noor did was right or wrong, but you two waited so long to be together. I guess he is just having a difficult time adjusting and can't think of anything else but his own feelings now. If anmar wanted to do the same thing I probably would have let him go also but felt like you. Don't worry girl you are not alone in ur feelings about this. i can say honestly it's difficult to bring ur husband to a small town and there are no other middle eastern people around. It makes them feel even more alone and isolated. I know once Anmar gets a job he will be happy just when that will happen i don't know since he's new here and his language isn't perfect and some people don't want to take a chance on a newly immigrant..sucks but that's how it is.

Hopefully he calls you and gives you updates on his trip!!

Angel

[noura 0]

Hey Lebanese Bride...

Rajli is Moroccan Arabic for husband... I call Said my rajli, and he calls me his mrati - which is Moroccan Arabic for wife. I see someone else gave you that AOS is for Adjustment of Status. Moroccan Arabic is quite different from classic/standard Arabic.

Noura

[LebaneseMama 1]

Thanks Noura

As far as the "going away" issue. Couple of weeks ago I had a huge fit. My dad wants to open a business in another state (not too far from our state). He told me "When Ali comes he will go with me and work, and come and see you on the weekends". I started screaming "NOOOoOOOo OOO ! We have been apart for 80% of the tme we have been together ... we are going through really tough times with all this visa stuff .. and you want to tell me that you want to take him when he comes ?!? I don't think so !!! I don't care how poor we get .. I don't care if we have to work 24/7 in order to eat ... but we are going to be poor or rich together, hand in hand, side by side, with smiles on our faces. Maybe I have just been locking feelings inside and exploded at my dad But I can totally relate. It's like you wait all this time for him to get here and want to spend ever single moment together .. and when that doesn't happen you freak. Amal, he is your husband why don't you talk to him and tell him how you feel ???

[amal 4]

He called me last night. He could tell I was about to lose it.. He said.. if you cry I will be home in 1 minute. I told him I wasn't crying and then busted into tears. I am such a big baby. He knows how I feel about it. He knows I freak out when I'm alone at home at night. He knows I don't feel safe unless he's with me. He said.. this trip is good for you and me. I said "mainly for you" and he said basically that it would be good for us to miss each other again and have private time to ourselves for a few days coz everybody needs a little time to themselves once-in-a-while... The only good I see in it is having the time for him to be the "all arabian man" that he has had to change and adjust for living in usa , and time for me to be the slob that I naturally am. My house is already a disaster coz I just don't care right now.By the time he comes home it'll all be good coz my sons 7th birthday party is being held on Saturday so everything will be cleaned up by Friday....ok I'm done for now

amal

[tnh9479 1]

hi girls

sorry if i don t post much .

Angelk , Mary thanks again for your messages .it s so nice of you to keep in touch

well, here is my news;

after i waited more then 3 weeks for the SSC my husband took a day off from work and we went to the SS office on the 24 th feb ,they asked for my birth certificate the women there said that it will take 6 weeks to get it translated from arabic,i tried to gave her the translation that i used to apply for my visa but she said they use only the SS translators. so the ssc will take at least 7 weeks to arrive.

i m still studing the florida driver s manual ,and i found in there website that in florida the new drivers needs to take a 4 h drug and alcohol classes .so i m doing it online .the package cost 55$ it includes the 4 h coursse and "Rules of the Road" and "Road Signs" practice tests,my husband teach me to drive in the week ends ,we go to this big parking land of an office deppo and i drive only when there is no guard there ,because as you know without a learners permit i can t drive somewhere else.

about the job,i need to passe the foreign pharmacy test first then work as an intern for 1 year then pass the Naplex test to get the license so i can work as a pharmasist wich will take a long time ,so i think i will start looking for a job as a pharm technician other wise i don t know what i can work i don t have any work experiance or other diploma.

i m still hesitated about starting work because i think my english is not good enough ,so i registered to this class to improve my grammar and pronouciation the class cost 65 $ for 8 weeks ,the class will start on march 22nd,they also have free ESL classes there.

about my adjustment,it s going good but i miss having freinds,i m a people person and like to be around people.

well, sorry to take your time for reading my message

kelly,i m counting down for your interview

take care

and good luck to you all.

Farah,

I am trying to get Hicham to take the Drug and Alcohol Awareness course online too. And do you know what? I looked at some of the websites from the Department of Motor Vehicles and you can even take your permit test online through some of the authorized places. If you pass, your print out the information and bring that to your local drivers license office to get your actual permit. (I don't know if you will have the same issue -- but when Hicham just got a state ID in August, it took more than a month to mail it to him -- they do background checks now for non-US citizens due to some of the 9-11 hijackers legally getting ID's in Florida even though on terrorist watchlists. However, they will give you the number that will be on your card and tell you that you are good to go with that until your card arrives.)

Twila

[noura 0]

Amal, I'm so sorry - you sound like you're abt to lose it there! Just hang in there and inch'allah, the week will pass quickly and he will return missing you like crazy! Will he be home for the party? I'd be a little pissed abt that if he wasn't home by then.... guess I'm not helping, huh? Try to focus on other things for now - I know, easier said than done. Remember all the reasons that you love him and why you fought to bring him here. I pray your week goes quickly!

Noura

[MaryandMian 1]

Noura thanks for the definitions on the Moroccan words. It is always nice to learn new things about the different languages and cultures.

Mary

[honeyblonde 0]

Twila, Wow, I can't believe they took so long to issue the state ID. Abdel got his while we waited. It's amazing how different each state is.

Amal, I'd be right there with you girl. Abdel and I talked about it last night because he was fussing for me to come to bed while I was reading it. He said it's just wrong. He said maybe a day or two, but if you're married a week is too much. Of course, we're talking about Mr. Majorly Co-Dependent here, so I'm sure most men probably wouldn't agree.

When I was married to Mustapha, he got his ss card the day after he arrived and started working 2 jobs immediately. After 6 weeks he finally got an evening off so I made plans to take him to dinner so we could have some time together for the first time since he got here. Instead, he went out with his friends and didn't come home until 9 PM. By the time he got home I was so mad I had packed all his stuff in garbage bags and put it by the front door and locked myself in the bedroom. He thought I was overreacting, and maybe I was, but I was the one that had worked my butt off to get him here and he hadn't spent more than a few minutes with me since he had, and when he did get some time, he didn't chose to spend it with me.

At least your husband seems to care about your feelings. Mustapha didn't and that was the difference. You really need to talk about this with him when he gets back. Yes he did give up a lot to come be with you, but that was his choice. He's the one that wanted to marry you and be with you, and marriage involves change. Who you are before marriage will not be who you are after marriage, if your marriage is to succeed. Everyone here has been discussing all the adapting needed since their loved one arrived and everyone seems to be bending over backwards to make life easier for their loved one here. However, the one coming here needs to realize that they chose this change and must do their part to make it succeed too.

I hope you two are able to talk about this when he is back and get past it.

[farah2005 0]

hi girls

sorry if i don t post much .

Angelk , Mary thanks again for your messages .it s so nice of you to keep in touch

well, here is my news;

after i waited more then 3 weeks for the SSC my husband took a day off from work and we went to the SS office on the 24 th feb ,they asked for my birth certificate the women there said that it will take 6 weeks to get it translated from arabic,i tried to gave her the translation that i used to apply for my visa but she said they use only the SS translators. so the ssc will take at least 7 weeks to arrive.

i m still studing the florida driver s manual ,and i found in there website that in florida the new drivers needs to take a 4 h drug and alcohol classes .so i m doing it online .the package cost 55$ it includes the 4 h coursse and "Rules of the Road" and "Road Signs" practice tests,my husband teach me to drive in the weekends ,we go to this big parking land of an office deppo and i drive only when there is no guard there ,because as you know without a learners permit i can t drive somewhere else.

about the job,i need to passe the foreign pharmacy test first then work as an intern for 1 year then pass the Naplex test to get the license so i can work as a pharmasist wich will take a long time ,so i think i will start looking for a job as a pharm technician other wise i don t know what i can work i don t have any work experiance or other diploma.

i m still hesitated about starting work because i think my english is not good enough ,so i registered to this class to improve my grammar and pronouciation the class cost 65 $ for 8 weeks ,the class will start on march 22nd,they also have free ESL classes there.

about my adjustment,it s going good but i miss having freinds,i m a people person and like to be around people.

well, sorry to take your time for reading my message

kelly,i m counting down for your interview

take care

and good luck to you all.

Farah,

I am trying to get Hicham to take the Drug and Alcohol Awareness course online too. And do you know what? I looked at some of the websites from the Department of Motor Vehicles and you can even take your permit test online through some of the authorized places. If you pass, your print out the information and bring that to your local drivers license office to get your actual permit. (I don't know if you will have the same issue -- but when Hicham just got a state ID in August, it took more than a month to mail it to him -- they do background checks now for non-US citizens due to some of the 9-11 hijackers legally getting ID's in Florida even though on terrorist watchlists. However, they will give you the number that will be on your card and tell you that you are good to go with that until your card arrives.)

Twila

HI Twila,

yes that s exactely what i m doing

i m using this website to take my alcohol and drug coursses ;

http://www.lowestpricetrafficschool.com/new-drivers.php

At the end of the course,you have the choice to take the DMV exam online ,for that you need to pay $ 19,95 fee.

[farah2005 0]

Hey everyone. My husband left a few hours ago to take a week vacation from my town. I'm really sad about that. After all the hard and tireless work I did to get him here...he's been here 3 months and already going away for a week. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy he has such a good friend to take him accross the country whenever they decide to go.. but I don't think it's fair, ya know?? It's not even for a job..it is just for fun. Just to get away. I want to get away too but I can't!! I have a son and a home and work to tend to! I'm not mad at him.. just upset with the situation. Maybe I'm just jealous?? Jealous that I can't do those things.... But then.. he is part of this family too and shouldn't he be here working and supporting the family too?? I can't sleep when he's gone.. I don't feel safe in my house... Things just aren't right....Sorry to rant and whine but I'm just really having a hard time with this.

amal

hi Amal,

i m sorry to hear that but as you know are going throw 2 big adjustements in our life,first is being married and share your life with somebody, second being in a foreign country .i agree that ,in married couple it might not be normal to go for vacacion without your SO but for our situation maybe it s normal,people are different in adjusting ,for me i like being around people and having freinds but right now i m adjusting to my lonelyness and sometimes during the week end when my husband is with me i feel that i want to be alone ,it s strange ,and i don t understand why! my husband even tought that he did something wrong to make me feel that way.

other thing,maybe he realy doesn t see the problem of him going in vacacion without you ,maybe it s one of the cultural difference problem. for exemple,my husband s freind invite us to go to the movie theater ,i wasn t in the mood for a movie so i told my husband that he can go,without me i realy don t have problem with that ,but he wouldn t, he said it s not normal for him to have fun without me ,i felt guilty because he is right,we waited so long for me to be here and part of being married is doing stuff togethet so i went to the movie teather with him.

but i beleive that the best way to solve it is comunication,talk about it !you don t have to fake that you are fine with that .and don t feel guilty ,because you are not!

good luck

[AInfante-Saraireh 0]

Amal, if that were my husband after waiting and spending all that money to get him here and he needs a vacation without u after just 3 months...well, my foot up his ###!

I don't really think that's fair, not to put fire into the pot here, but vacations should be spent with the family. Or, I can understand he wants to go with friends, but way after 3 months in the USA. That's selfish of him.

Hope when he gets back, he can understand this.

Andrea