Canada's New Problem

[derekkj 0]

Got this as an email, so not sure where it originally came from, but it made me laugh!

Canada's New Problem

From the "Manitoba Herald", Canada

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has

intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop

the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the

exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to

hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's

not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists

and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood

producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose

acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I

said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my

screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,

but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare

Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The

liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't

give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near

the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across

the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario

border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking

water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing

loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been

circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in

which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing

the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy

cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans

disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping

buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and

Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't

identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious

about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that

the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting

all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't

support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does

one country need?

[Emancipation 2]

[almaty 19]

lol..that was funny

[Jasman0717 9]

[Sister Fracas 5]

[neiks 19]

That's great, Do you have a link where I can print it off?

[derekkj 0]

That's great, Do you have a link where I can print it off?

No, sorry. I got it as an email and when I tried googling it, not much came up.

You could probably cut and paste it and print it off that way though.