K3 or K1?

[Imua 0]

We married over 3 months ago, and I am completely paralyzed in preparing the visa application - I am wondering if we should not mention the wedding and do K-1 instead... We have a couple of red flags in our case, the biggest of which is our short time between meeting and marrying, and we don't have much(ANY, really) evidence besides our marriage certificate, wedding photos and maybe 2 or 3 affidavit letters which I am agonizing over now. I feel like our case is certain to be denied since we are newlyweds and we did not know each other for long before marriage and we are a mixed couple with a big age gap - I think we would have a better chance if we file for K-1 and not mention the wedding - we also had an engagement ceremony at home with family and can show the photos, lots of evidence showing I was in Nepal both last year and this year, receipts for hotels, emails, photos, etc.. It is just the 'evidence of bonafide marriage' that is tripping me up - I have read cases here where a couple filing for K-3 or CR-1 has a ton of conmingled resources(which we have not been able to do since we are not living in the same country) and they are STILL denied, so what are we to do with what little we have?? I hate being dishonest but really cant pull evidence out of nowhere so dont know what else to do. I want to get the process started already!!!!

[Imua 0]

I was thinking of this and it didn't hit me until after it was too late to edit - I think there is no way we could file for K-1 after all since I needed to get the Letter of No Contest from the Kathmandu embassy in order to marry in Nepal - so they probably already have me on file...

God help us...

[buckeye6976 0]

There are a lot of good and helpful people on VJ. I think many will offer good advice to you. As for myself at this time it is my opinion that it is always better to tell the truth.

Good luck

[pushbrk 12,994]

I was thinking of this and it didn't hit me until after it was too late to edit - I think there is no way we could file for K-1 after all since I needed to get the Letter of No Contest from the Kathmandu embassy in order to marry in Nepal - so they probably already have me on file...

God help us...

Lying on a visa petition or visa application is a good way to insure your life together with your spouse is in their country instead of the US, at least for the next 10 years.

Consular officers and the USCIS are very aware of the modern phenomenon of internet courtship. The majority of VJ members are pretty much in the same boat as you, with regard to their courtships. Learn the process and document your communication and visits. Prepare for the interview. Things almost always work out on the first or second attempt.

[edp333 9]

You are still newlyweds, so the 2 or 3 affidavit letters and the marriage certificate will suffice for proof of marriage for now. You will have plenty of time to collect proof of an ongoing relationship before the interview. Save money transfers, phone receipts, emails, letters, cards, and etc.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I say go the legal, HONEST route. There is no way I would ever take the chance of being found out and banned from seeing my husband.

I believe if you are honest and truthful, show as much evidence as you can, and see where it goes. Why take the chance? I wouldn't.

Best of luck to you.

~Laura

[Ta Ta 1]

Home investigations will reveal your marriage if you do a K1. Be honest and stick to the K3. All it takes is for the fraud prevention unit at the embassy

to check for marriage registration during AP/AR and you are done. Why take the risk of a ban ?

Yodrak came up with a creative way to show a joined bank account with an ATM card, can't remember which thread it was.

With time you will think of other creative ways to ' comingle ' your lives as bona fide proof to submit by the time the interview rolls around.

Being honest and enduring a possible lengthy AP is still better than a ban for lying.

[Imua 0]

Thanks, you guys are right, we have to go the honest route - I just wish we had married and filed before they changed the requirements asking for more evidence up front- don't know what friends and family can say in the affidavit letters except they support our marriage and we seem happy together... I am definitely saving evidence between now and interview date - hope I will be in KTM with G on that day. I just signed up with a phone card co. which has a special card for Nepal - it does not keep a record of each call but it does keep a record of how much money I pay to top off my balance specifically to call Nepal - hope this is good enough? Also money transfer records, emails, and chat records. G is not a big letter/card writer but I am trying to tell him how important it is to send me at least a few cards/letters. We do chat/email or phone every day and I am designating him as my life insurance beneficiary - don't know what else I can do before he has a SSN.

[Ta Ta 1]

You have to have a calling card that shows the detailed record of numbers called. You can ask the company if they can make an exception

and let you have such a record or look for another card.

Calling cards without a record are not evidence of which number was called, how often and when.

try pingo.com or sendglobal.com I switch back and forth with some cards, pingo it too expensive for us but may work for you.

If you use sendglobal.com I can give you a code and that gives me extra minutes.

[trailmix 77]

I don't know if this is helpful or not, regarding bank accounts - but I will throw it out there for what it's worth.

As my Husband and I live in Canada I needed extra information to prove domicile. One of the things I felt would help would be to have a U.S. bank account. I do have a SSN however I needed to be resident to open the accounts that I was looking at.

My Sister lives in the U.S. so here is what we did.

She went to her local bank, that she banks with. She explained that I wanted an account with them. They couldn't open an account in my name without setting eyes on me. What they would allow is for her to open a Joint account with me.

There were stipulations with this. I could not use the account until they mailed me a signature card and I sent them back the card, a copy of some Canadian ID and a copy of my SS card.

Now the question is, might your local bank allow you to have a 'joint' account with your Husband under the same type of criteria, that he won't use it until he is there and has a SSN. The benefit of course is that you would be able to show them a joint account statement.

I did the same for my Husband when he immigrated to Canada, opened a joint account for us before he was here - however Canadian banks are friendlier about that type of thing.

I know he doesn't have a SSN but maybe they will overlook that if you have a good relationship with your bank - anyway I only mention it as it may be worth a try.

Here is another thing to consider. We have been married for a while, however most of the bills are in my name as they were all set up before we were married. I don't think it's a big issue but I thought we should really have SOMETHING to prove we live together when my Husband goes for his interview.

Our cable bill is in his name, he called them and they said no - really can't change the account name etc etc without such and such (too much hassle) - he told them why he wanted it and they offered to change the 'mailing address' - so basically the bill is now mailed in both our names - while the bill stays in his name (companies are so sticky about the change in account name holders!).

I also think you should just go with being straight up about your marriage, as you are aware of your challenge in proving a bonafide relationship you now have the opportunity to gather that evidence and as you are obviously taking it so seriously (as you should ) I think you will come up with the proof you need. Good luck!

[mendeleev 68]

Banks in two different states have helped me set up joint checking accounts with my wife, even though she isn't here yet. Both have issued ATM cards that she uses that have her name (not mine) on them. If your bank won't cooperate with you to set up joint accounts, then find a cooperative bank -- perhaps near a University near you, and move your banking there.

Both banks required the picture page of my wife's passport for identification. My SSN was good enough for tax purposes, especially since those checking accts didn't earn interest anyway! My current bank was even savvy to help us fill out the required IRS forms so that she can be joint on interest-bearing accounts even though she doesn't have a SSN or ITN yet. Banks are there to provide service in exchange for your lending money to them -- that is what checking and savings accounts are, after all. Find one that serves you.

[Imua 0]

You have to have a calling card that shows the detailed record of numbers called. You can ask the company if they can make an exception

and let you have such a record or look for another card.

Calling cards without a record are not evidence of which number was called, how often and when.

try pingo.com or sendglobal.com I switch back and forth with some cards, pingo it too expensive for us but may work for you.

If you use sendglobal.com I can give you a code and that gives me extra minutes.

Thanks for the tip - I checked pingo.com and it was 11 cents/minute to Ktm, not great but much better than sendglobal.com - 27 cents/min.!!! Sorry I can't gove you the referral bonus... There is another card with better rates to Nepal but it does not keep a record at all, so I think I will sign up with Pingo and make calls once or twice a week for the record, and supplement with the cheaper, no-record cards for longer calls.

[Imua 0]

Banks in two different states have helped me set up joint checking accounts with my wife, even though she isn't here yet. Both have issued ATM cards that she uses that have her name (not mine) on them. If your bank won't cooperate with you to set up joint accounts, then find a cooperative bank -- perhaps near a University near you, and move your banking there.

Both banks required the picture page of my wife's passport for identification. My SSN was good enough for tax purposes, especially since those checking accts didn't earn interest anyway! My current bank was even savvy to help us fill out the required IRS forms so that she can be joint on interest-bearing accounts even though she doesn't have a SSN or ITN yet. Banks are there to provide service in exchange for your lending money to them -- that is what checking and savings accounts are, after all. Find one that serves you.

Thanks - I've had a checking account with Citibank for the last 7 years, hopefully they will work something out with me, will go and ask. They even have a branch with limited service in Kathmandu, near the old US Embassy - something I found out when an ATM machine ate my card last summer.

[little white guy 0]

Banks in two different states have helped me set up joint checking accounts with my wife, even though she isn't here yet. Both have issued ATM cards that she uses that have her name (not mine) on them. If your bank won't cooperate with you to set up joint accounts, then find a cooperative bank -- perhaps near a University near you, and move your banking there.

Both banks required the picture page of my wife's passport for identification. My SSN was good enough for tax purposes, especially since those checking accts didn't earn interest anyway! My current bank was even savvy to help us fill out the required IRS forms so that she can be joint on interest-bearing accounts even though she doesn't have a SSN or ITN yet. Banks are there to provide service in exchange for your lending money to them -- that is what checking and savings accounts are, after all. Find one that serves you.

Thanks - I've had a checking account with Citibank for the last 7 years, hopefully they will work something out with me, will go and ask. They even have a branch with limited service in Kathmandu, near the old US Embassy - something I found out when an ATM machine ate my card last summer.

Pushbrk & Laura are 100% right, don not for any reason tell an un-truth no matter

how small it may seem, it can and will come back to haunt you..........................

As far as evidence goes say what ya will legal paper work (95%of the time)+/-.

On interview day is the major concern (from your country as well as his)..

Maybe I'm wrong in this but from all I've seen and gone through evidence

is of course a factor so bring it all..Legal Documents and simple things like

questions at the interview appear to matter the most..Yes it seem questions

that are asked at interviews even though they have a guideline can depend

on what side of the bed that COF woke up on that day..No one can say that

is not a factor, it is..Be yourself,make sure he knows to be as none nervous

as he can..Make sure he knows things about you that ya would never think

of, ie....whats her favorite food?..Whats her favorite hobby?..Where does she work?..

Do you own or rent?...What about her parents?..How did you two meet?........

Well, you get the picture right?

Make sure when ur hubby walks in that room he is his self, not a bundle of nerves.

(COF)....ur interview guy or gal

[pbgirl 1]

Even if you had the choice between "undoing" your wedding, it would be best to go with the truth. Especially if you feel you have red flags in the first place.

I think as long as people have seen you interact with each other, can write letters to that regard, that will be helpful. Do you speak the same language? Send those copies of your passport pages showing entry into Nepal.

G'luck!