So confused ... Help please.

[pushbrk 12,910]

... argh ... there doesnt seem to be any straight answers.

Bingo

Yup ... I'm finally getting it ... LOL ... thanks for being patient everyone.

Can I chime in? All of us want our fiances and spouses here ASAP. Having said that--look over the posts and note the ones describing less than blissful conditions. There is a benefit to taking some time to get here. It is called getting to know your spouse and....getting to know yourself.

Do keep in mind that when someone thinks they have found a loophole and attempts to circumvent the process--it causes everyone in the qeue to get messed over, adding time to the process.

My OPINION is: K1 Personally I see no benefit being "married" to someone I can't visit. If over the time it takes to get to know them and apply, we discover that we don't belong together there are no legal aftershocks. This is even more important if children are involved. If you need him to work immediately when he gets here, I suggest saving up some money so he can get here, get acclimated and then go to work where he will be happy.

don't mean to rain on your parade but.......all of us have had this conversation with ourselves and others.

Our one year anniversary will be this month. It started with a three line email, matured into weekly phone calls, morphed into a ten day visit at the six month point and then we decided that we wanted to marry and for her to come here. K1 applied for at the 9 month point. Do I want her here now? Of course. But I don't want to rush it and I don't want to screw the process up for anyone else-so I am taking my lumps like everyone else. Sorry if this comes across as hard or severe but...take a giant step back and look at the whole picture.

Good luck and be sure.

All good thoughts but as I've bolded above, although my wife had no chance of visiting the US during the visa process, I was not prevented from visiting her, and preferred to go through the process as husband and wife, than otherwise.

[pushbrk 12,910]

... argh ... there doesnt seem to be any straight answers.

Bingo

Yup ... I'm finally getting it ... LOL ... thanks for being patient everyone.

The one straight answer to this question for some, is a simple no. It depends on the country. For Denmark, there is no straight answer.

[Lasse n Kristina 0]

Can I chime in? All of us want our fiances and spouses here ASAP. Having said that--look over the posts and note the ones describing less than blissful conditions. There is a benefit to taking some time to get here. It is called getting to know your spouse and....getting to know yourself.

Thanks for the info. MAybe Im in a different boat than most here? I know my spouse very well. I don't need the time to get to know him.

Do keep in mind that when someone thinks they have found a loophole and attempts to circumvent the process--it causes everyone in the qeue to get messed over, adding time to the process.

I'm not looking for loopholes. I'm trying to understand the best way to do things.. ie; marry first or apply first.

My OPINION is: K1 Personally I see no benefit being "married" to someone I can't visit. If over the time it takes to get to know them and apply, we discover that we don't belong together there are no legal aftershocks. This is even more important if children are involved.

Again, if I needed the time to get to know him this might apply.

If you need him to work immediately when he gets here, I suggest saving up some money so he can get here, get acclimated and then go to work where he will be happy.

He's got a job lined up once he has his papers. A job he is thrilled about. And we have the money to get him here.

don't mean to rain on your parade but.......all of us have had this conversation with ourselves and others.

Our one year anniversary will be this month. It started with a three line email, matured into weekly phone calls, morphed into a ten day visit at the six month point and then we decided that we wanted to marry and for her to come here. K1 applied for at the 9 month point. Do I want her here now? Of course. But I don't want to rush it and I don't want to screw the process up for anyone else-so I am taking my lumps like everyone else. Sorry if this comes across as hard or severe but...take a giant step back and look at the whole picture.

Good luck and be sure.

Hmmmmm .. again... I guess I am in a different boat then than most here then.

[Lasse n Kristina 0]

All good thoughts but as I've bolded above, although my wife had no chance of visiting the US during the visa process, I was not prevented from visiting her, and preferred to go through the process as husband and wife, than otherwise.

I agree completely... I would much rather go through this as husband and wife.

[Lasse n Kristina 0]

My OPINION is: K1 Personally I see no benefit being "married" to someone I can't visit. If over the time it takes to get to know them and apply, we discover that we don't belong together there are no legal aftershocks. This is even more important if children are involved.

Jeez .. this is really getting to me... why is anyone marrying someone they haven't gotten to know???? I just don't understand. Maybe I'm on the completely wrong forum or something.

[trailmix 77]

My OPINION is: K1 Personally I see no benefit being "married" to someone I can't visit. If over the time it takes to get to know them and apply, we discover that we don't belong together there are no legal aftershocks. This is even more important if children are involved.

Jeez .. this is really getting to me... why is anyone marrying someone they haven't gotten to know???? I just don't understand. Maybe I'm on the completely wrong forum or something.

Hi Kristina,

You haven't come to the wrong forum, you will find that you get many points of view at Visa Journey - it's a good thing really. Obviously the points the other poster mentioned don't apply to you.

Anyway, what he is saying is that sometimes, because of distance etc. people marry after only meeting in person once or get engaged and the visa processing time allows them more time to get to know each other (this is not my case or yours either - but I think that is what he was referring to - he will correct me if I'm wrong).

I'm sure you feel, when looking at your options that it just seems horrible to anticipate so many months or a year without your spouse and I know that you are hoping to find the quickest way to do it and you have been given some good advice so far.

Another option would be for you to move there, get married and then apply after you have lived in the Country for X number of months. Most consulates require that the couple be resident in the country for at least 6 months - you could then wait out the process there, just something to think about.

[twolove 0]

HELLO

... argh ... there doesnt seem to be any straight answers.

Bingo

Yup ... I'm finally getting it ... LOL ... thanks for being patient everyone.

Can I chime in? All of us want our fiances and spouses here ASAP. Having said that--look over the posts and note the ones describing less than blissful conditions. There is a benefit to taking some time to get here. It is called getting to know your spouse and....getting to know yourself.

Do keep in mind that when someone thinks they have found a loophole and attempts to circumvent the process--it causes everyone in the qeue to get messed over, adding time to the process.

My OPINION is: K1 Personally I see no benefit being "married" to someone I can't visit. If over the time it takes to get to know them and apply, we discover that we don't belong together there are no legal aftershocks. This is even more important if children are involved. If you need him to work immediately when he gets here, I suggest saving up some money so he can get here, get acclimated and then go to work where he will be happy.

don't mean to rain on your parade but.......all of us have had this conversation with ourselves and others.

Our one year anniversary will be this month. It started with a three line email, matured into weekly phone calls, morphed into a ten day visit at the six month point and then we decided that we wanted to marry and for her to come here. K1 applied for at the 9 month point. Do I want her here now? Of course. But I don't want to rush it and I don't want to screw the process up for anyone else-so I am taking my lumps like everyone else. Sorry if this comes across as hard or severe but...take a giant step back and look at the whole picture.

Good luck and be sure.