What will I need to remove conditions in 1.5 years?

[goldie 0]

This is the situation. Since 2 month my Hb gave me the "speech" after I asked him why he doesnt communicate anymore with my daugher and me and is so distanced. He told me first, he is overwelmed with new situation, work, ect.. then he said we argued too much over nothing.. he tries to put the blame on me. I beleive its part of his midlive crisis. He got a bike 1 year ago, and went out lots with his buddy for bike rides on his little off times.. well, I tried everything to make it work, but he closed himself and shut up, even when I cried and begged him to safe the marriage. Since 1 month now he doesnt talk a single word with me, not even with my daughter. He trasfered all his payrolls to his own account no more the shared ones. I work only part time and get about 600 a month. I think he still pays my health insurance, maybee he think he must do so coz of the avidavit of support he signed. he buy his own food and cook his own. he hides his clothes and wash them himself. For him, we are separated allready but still staying in the same house. He hoped before I will just pack my things and go back tok my country, so he threatened me and blackmailed me some weeks ago. But I told him, I will not go, I gave up everything for him there, and have nowhere to go. I like it here and made new friends. He got very angry and sayed if I want to play hard he will do too.. I came with quite some money to the usa, and its all gone now. I beleive he wanted to go back to his ex wife as well. Unfortunatly the house is on his name, he got it before I came. A lawyer told me, he could even change the looks and I would be out. I dont beleive this, coz, if I would still go in, they cant say I broke in, coz I stay there and its my address.. no? I dont know what I should do now, fortunatly he is working most of the time, more then ever... as long I can I will stay here. I think he waits for me to file separation, so he can put the blame on me. I wont do it. If it goes to court, I will ask for alimony and spliting the cars and bike and furnitures. I did so much upgrades on the house and garden myself with my own money, but I think I wont get anything back, right?

I am still on antidepressiva, to go on... I could only move out, if I would get alimony from him. I could try to work more, but i am afraid that after they wont let him pay alimony. What you think? On the other hand, I need as much as possible now, for the future and for laywer ect... and, of course I am afraid what will happen if i have to remove the condition or my greencard.. I have evidence of joint account, creditcards, dental, vehicle insurance, residency, fotos from before, lots of witnesses.. ect..

how long before do I have to apply for it? and what , if this situation stays same, until I have to remove the conditions? If he hasnt filed for separation yet or divorce and is going on this way of non talk for long? and if he wont be willing to file for the removing of condition together with me?? What can I do then? I want to be prepared for everything... Any suggestions, advice? Thanks so much!!

[Fandango 1,439]

Wow Goldie...I have no constructive advice for you, but I wanted to say I hope you get through this awful time.

[peonyflowers99 4]

This is the situation. Since 2 month my Hb gave me the "speech" after I asked him why he doesnt communicate anymore with my daugher and me and is so distanced. He told me first, he is overwelmed with new situation, work, ect.. then he said we argued too much over nothing.. he tries to put the blame on me. I beleive its part of his midlive crisis. He got a bike 1 year ago, and went out lots with his buddy for bike rides on his little off times.. well, I tried everything to make it work, but he closed himself and shut up, even when I cried and begged him to safe the marriage. Since 1 month now he doesnt talk a single word with me, not even with my daughter. He trasfered all his payrolls to his own account no more the shared ones. I work only part time and get about 600 a month. I think he still pays my health insurance, maybee he think he must do so coz of the avidavit of support he signed. he buy his own food and cook his own. he hides his clothes and wash them himself. For him, we are separated allready but still staying in the same house. He hoped before I will just pack my things and go back tok my country, so he threatened me and blackmailed me some weeks ago. But I told him, I will not go, I gave up everything for him there, and have nowhere to go. I like it here and made new friends. He got very angry and sayed if I want to play hard he will do too.. I came with quite some money to the usa, and its all gone now. I beleive he wanted to go back to his ex wife as well. Unfortunatly the house is on his name, he got it before I came. A lawyer told me, he could even change the looks and I would be out. I dont beleive this, coz, if I would still go in, they cant say I broke in, coz I stay there and its my address.. no? I dont know what I should do now, fortunatly he is working most of the time, more then ever... as long I can I will stay here. I think he waits for me to file separation, so he can put the blame on me. I wont do it. If it goes to court, I will ask for alimony and spliting the cars and bike and furnitures. I did so much upgrades on the house and garden myself with my own money, but I think I wont get anything back, right?

I am still on antidepressiva, to go on... I could only move out, if I would get alimony from him. I could try to work more, but i am afraid that after they wont let him pay alimony. What you think? On the other hand, I need as much as possible now, for the future and for laywer ect... and, of course I am afraid what will happen if i have to remove the condition or my greencard.. I have evidence of joint account, creditcards, dental, vehicle insurance, residency, fotos from before, lots of witnesses.. ect..

how long before do I have to apply for it? and what , if this situation stays same, until I have to remove the conditions? If he hasnt filed for separation yet or divorce and is going on this way of non talk for long? and if he wont be willing to file for the removing of condition together with me?? What can I do then? I want to be prepared for everything... Any suggestions, advice? Thanks so much!!

Hi Goldie,

I am so sorry for what your husband did to you. There are few things you could do: first if you brought your retirement money from Switzerland, you probably still have a receipt, you also probably kept the receipt of all you improved in the house with those money, as you know if ever you decide to return here you will need to pay this money back. Then he would have to pay you the money you used to improve his house as he want you out of there. If your husband is in the army, then you are for sure on his health insurance, so he is paying nothing for it, but it shows you have same benefits as he does and this it will last as long as you don't marry again. If you paid down the house, he will need to give you all the money back. You don't have to leave the house so you will not lose any benefits for beeing married to him. I don't know if it is legal for him to hide his income and transferred on another account, also he signed an affidavit of support for you therefore he is obliged to support you, therefore no worries, and as far as removing the conditions in 2009 don't have any worrie as HE entered this relationship in a bad faith, he used your love for getting the money in the US and improving his life condition and no vice versa. My advice will be to have all the bills for everything you buyed from this money and don't leave the house. And also ask him to reimburse all that, i don't think he will be able to do it.

It is so sad to have to live this situation.

Hope that helps,

Good luck!

[desert_fox 32]

You should make an appointment with a family law lawyer to discuss your situation, and what would be typical in your state in case of a divorce. You could probably talk to one for 30 minutes free.