Homosexuality self-test

[mRx 16]

Got this from a buddy of mine.... I think 3 & 5 are the funniest.

Matt

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MEN:

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.  It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming **. A cat is like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed.  And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your azz over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!"  Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a **.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship.  A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free azz passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that #######. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-azz driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

[pedroh 21]

what about iced chai latte? is that gay?

[Ban Hammer 13,644]

what about iced chai latte? is that gay?

a real sign someone desires a high hard one in the chocolate highway

[pedroh 21]

what about iced chai latte? is that gay?

a real sign someone desires a high hard one in the chocolate highway

[Nessa 23]

According to #2 my husband is flaaaaaaaaming ** :lol:

[Ban Hammer 13,644]

According to #2 my husband is flaaaaaaaaming ** :lol:

my cat's name ain't bun-buns

[Jasman0717 9]

"Decaf Soy Latte".

[Bootylicious!! 2]

what about iced chai latte? is that gay?

Please tell me you don't drink iced chai latte.

I love faggadocious! That's hilarious! :lol:

[Mephys 2]

According to #2 my husband is flaaaaaaaaming ** :lol:

my cat's name ain't bun-buns

[pedroh 21]

what about iced chai latte? is that gay?

Please tell me you don't drink iced chai latte.

I love faggadocious! That's hilarious! :lol:

I'm a iced chai latte drinker-clinique for men user-hair gel fan MAN!!

[LuzyC 0]

According to #2 my husband is flaaaaaaaaming ** :lol:

my cat's name ain't bun-buns

:lol:

You two are so cute and so funny !!

[Bootylicious!! 2]

what about iced chai latte? is that gay?

Please tell me you don't drink iced chai latte.

I love faggadocious! That's hilarious! :lol:

I'm a iced chai latte drinker-clinique for men user-hair gel fan MAN!!

Oh no! I think Pedro has some thing he needs to tell all our fellow VJer's. :lol:

Can anyone say faggadocios?!? :lol:

[Nagishkaw 510]

Another telltale sign might be when a man walks into a diner and the hostess offers him a seat at a booth, but he insists he is fine with just sitting on a STOOL.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Eh, I know it's supposed to be a joke, but it reinforces the notion that having any traits that would be considered even remotely effeminate equate to homosexuality.

My grandfather (God rest his soul) who fought in WWI and was later a border patrolman who rode on horseback would also hang out the clothes on the clothes line back in the day. He also fainted when a local woman in his town needed a bullet removed from her buttocks. He was no limp wristed fem, but certainly didn't show all the signs of a hard core macho man.

In fact, there's probably just as many gay men who are mucho macho as there are who are feminine...just like there are butch and lipstick lesbians.

[almaty 19]

what about iced chai latte? is that gay?

a real sign someone desires a high hard one in the chocolate highway

so true

Another telltale sign might be when a man walks into a diner and the hostess offers him a seat at a booth, but he insists he is fine with just sitting on a STOOL.

lol