Do You Yearn for a Man in Your Past?

[almaty 19]

Hummmmm.....wonder if Claudeth is pining away for the German

ask her.

no do not ask her brother jim...that was in her past..before you knew her..let it go and enjoy your love now...

[Fandango 1,439]

It's funny cos I tend to be conservative...but at the end of the day....if a marriage can be broken apart...what is the difference between committing with your heart, and committing by law? Aside from the obvious legal benefits....one is not more secure than the other.

Actually with family law and the way American courts lean against the father I'd say there is almost no advantage as a guy to marry if you have a certain mindset.

It's far better to nail different women and dump the ones who really start to get on your nerves. Spend your time, energy, and money on your own pursuits, so much less responsibility, less worries, and if you're not committed to a single person you can have different women several times a month.

You sooooooooo missed that point entirely.

Enlighten me.

Scroll up and re read. Read the bit where I asked what the difference was between committing with your heart and committing by law. Read the bit where I compared the two.

You can also read my first post here where I said I have been with D almost 8 years and I felt 'just as committed' to him then as I do now. So in the context of what we're discussing, where you came up with banging various women and whatnot...omG not a clue in this world.... :lol:

It's funny cos I tend to be conservative...but at the end of the day....if a marriage can be broken apart...what is the difference between committing with your heart, and committing by law? Aside from the obvious legal benefits....one is not more secure than the other.

I agree to a point, but I think there's something to the act of marriage - the ceremony...standing before family and friends and both people professing their committed love for one another that is incomparable no matter how committed a non-married couple may be.

So it's the pomp and circumstance of the wedding that makes a marriage stronger?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's funny cos I tend to be conservative...but at the end of the day....if a marriage can be broken apart...what is the difference between committing with your heart, and committing by law? Aside from the obvious legal benefits....one is not more secure than the other.

I agree to a point, but I think there's something to the act of marriage - the ceremony...standing before family and friends and both people professing their committed love for one another that is incomparable no matter how committed a non-married couple may be.

So it's the pomp and circumstance of the wedding that makes a marriage stronger?

Not sure what you mean, but the act itself, IMO, is quite a feat that those couples who don't marry never realize. It doesn't necessarily make the relationship stronger, but it certainly has the potential of being quite a powerful, life altering event.

[Fandango 1,439]

It's funny cos I tend to be conservative...but at the end of the day....if a marriage can be broken apart...what is the difference between committing with your heart, and committing by law? Aside from the obvious legal benefits....one is not more secure than the other.

I agree to a point, but I think there's something to the act of marriage - the ceremony...standing before family and friends and both people professing their committed love for one another that is incomparable no matter how committed a non-married couple may be.

So it's the pomp and circumstance of the wedding that makes a marriage stronger?

Not sure what you mean, but the act itself, IMO, is quite a feat that those couples who don't marry never realize. It doesn't necessarily make the relationship stronger, but it certainly has the potential of being quite a powerful, life altering event.

So what you're saying is that the act of the wedding defines the strength of a marriage?

It all depends on each person....there are those who are married who went down to city hall in jeans with no guests....then there are those lavish, church ceremonies with HUGE celebrations afterwards. I guess for you, it's the whole 'sharing with the fam' aspect of it.....and that's great...I'm not downing that. I am also quite excited for my wedding because it'll be a fun day...and I am looking forward to marrying David and having him by my side forever with no seperations...but what I'm really getting at is that for many, having a big or small ceremony is not the defining moment of committment. I believe one can be fully committed beforehand....and since marriages aren't iron clad til death do you part, more like til-you-feel-otherwise...one is not more superior over the other in terms of committment.

I pledged my unconditional love to David years ago. Yes, I said unconditional. Nothing can change that...it's higher than the US, the UK gov'ts...it transcends everything. What we have is nothing to scoff at or belittle...like this author was tryin to get at with the whole 'if it's not in 4 years summat's up'. We're not in 1955 anymore

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's funny cos I tend to be conservative...but at the end of the day....if a marriage can be broken apart...what is the difference between committing with your heart, and committing by law? Aside from the obvious legal benefits....one is not more secure than the other.

I agree to a point, but I think there's something to the act of marriage - the ceremony...standing before family and friends and both people professing their committed love for one another that is incomparable no matter how committed a non-married couple may be.

So it's the pomp and circumstance of the wedding that makes a marriage stronger?

Not sure what you mean, but the act itself, IMO, is quite a feat that those couples who don't marry never realize. It doesn't necessarily make the relationship stronger, but it certainly has the potential of being quite a powerful, life altering event.

So what you're saying is that the act of the wedding defines the strength of a marriage?

Without getting too religious - the ritual of marriage consecrates the commitment of love. Like I said, it's no guarantee it will strengthen a marriage, but I believe wholeheartedly that it has the potential to be quite powerful and life altering...spiritually as much as emotionally and physically.

[Fandango 1,439]

Without getting too religious - the ritual of marriage consecrates the commitment of love. Like I said, it's no guarantee it will strengthen a marriage, but I believe wholeheartedly that it has the potential to be quite powerful and life altering...spiritually as much as emotionally and physically.

Fair enough with this point...but what does that mean to all of those who can't plan a church wedding because there's not really too much advanced notice?

Hey Alex! I seeeeeeeeeee you down there, yay!

[Fandango 1,439]

Hey so I was just outside smoking a cig (I'm quitting Thursday for the last time btw), and I was thinkin....what about a non religious couple who are married? I wonder if many feel that their committment is stronger because of the marriage?

[radsr2002 0]

I married my wife without thought of religion.

I married her because I love her and care for her as a person.

My commitment is to her.

[Alex+R 0]

Hey so I was just outside smoking a cig (I'm quitting Thursday for the last time btw), and I was thinkin....what about a non religious couple who are married? I wonder if many feel that their commitment is stronger because of the marriage?

Hey Lisa! Good luck on quitting. I wonder about what marriage means for the non-religious too. It certainly doesn't let you just pick up and walk away from a relationship with no repercussions, so that's saying something, I suppose. Marriage made my relationship stronger because thanks to that hallowed institution we get to live in the same country. That certainly helps a relationship.

[radsr2002 0]

Marriage made my relationship stronger because thanks to that hallowed institution we get to live in the same country. That certainly helps a relationship.

touche

[Caladan 19]

Without getting too religious - the ritual of marriage consecrates the commitment of love. Like I said, it's no guarantee it will strengthen a marriage, but I believe wholeheartedly that it has the potential to be quite powerful and life altering...spiritually as much as emotionally and physically.

Fair enough with this point...but what does that mean to all of those who can't plan a church wedding because there's not really too much advanced notice?

Hey Alex! I seeeeeeeeeee you down there, yay!

Maybe is a wedding is a sufficient but not a necessary condition to demonstrate seriousness. (I don't think the size of the part matters a damn.) Religion can play a part because if you're going to the trouble to have a religious wedding it probably also means you've got a lot bound up in being married rather than just together.

But even if it's just a civil ceremony done quickly -- everyone will treat you differently now that your union is permanent. You can't break up as easily. People start expecting that you'll have kids. So there's a lot of social reasons a wedding could strengthen a marriage: ideally you've got the support of a community.

[Caladan 19]

My sister has been dating her high school sweetheart for six years. I don't think it's a good predictor.

And does she want to marry him? Is he dragging his feet?

They're 21 and he's 22. She's finishing college. He's not dragging his feet, but this lousy article writer is presenting it as fact that they should have broken up because obviously he's not that into her.

[Fandango 1,439]

Hey so I was just outside smoking a cig (I'm quitting Thursday for the last time btw), and I was thinkin....what about a non religious couple who are married? I wonder if many feel that their commitment is stronger because of the marriage?

Hey Lisa! Good luck on quitting. I wonder about what marriage means for the non-religious too. It certainly doesn't let you just pick up and walk away from a relationship with no repercussions, so that's saying something, I suppose. Marriage made my relationship stronger because thanks to that hallowed institution we get to live in the same country. That certainly helps a relationship.

Thx woman! and so glad to see you!!!!

I'm not implying the non-religious are shirking their responsibilities...but really ANYONE can get a divorce nowadays. So marriage is only as iron clad as the partners involved...and what I'm gettin at is the committment between two people to stay together is there not because of the little piece of paper forcing them...but because they want to.

So what defines that committment?

And yeah, this is all hypothetical for ppl in the same country, lolz.

I'm not demeaning marriage at all....I'm just tryin to get ppl to think about that old 'buy the cow' #######. People have evolved past doing the 'life by numbers' bit of school, marriage, baby, etc...a long term non married couple does not indicate committment issues. In fact, I dare say in many circs, the non-marrieds are MORE committed because they are together cos they want to be...not because they don't want to lose half their sh!t....

[Caladan 19]

It's not uncommon among people I know to move in together after a decent amount of time, date for a while, and only talk marriage when they're considering starting a family or they're at a 'big life change' and want to demonstrate their commitment (like someone taking a postdoc in England.)

[Fandango 1,439]

But even if it's just a civil ceremony done quickly -- everyone will treat you differently now that your union is permanent. You can't break up as easily. People start expecting that you'll have kids. So there's a lot of social reasons a wedding could strengthen a marriage: ideally you've got the support of a community.

So marriage is a good thing to 'validate' your relationship to society?

Saying 'you can't break up as easily'.....is that actually a good thing? Oh we're more committed because it's not an easy process to split? I'd actually want my partner to not break up with me because he doesn't wanna break up with me, lol...