Friend of mine gave up her journey

[Immigration Hell 0]

After reading all the comments, some of you wanted more details. My friend is not in a position to move overseas to be with her husband. She has children that she must support with her income. Because her husband is a resident of a third world country he can not help her with her finances so her family is solely supported by her. So moving is out of the question. She is in administrative processing like a lot of us are. She did tell me that at one time she thought her husband would be joining her soon because he went to his interview and the Embassy took his passport to put a visa in it and told her husband that he should be receiving the visa within the month. Well, as you know that didn't happen and she is in administrative processing. It truly breaks my heart that this has happened to her. I am hoping that she is talking like this out of depression and just temporarily fed up with the situation. I am really scared for her because she sounds as though she really means that she is ending this whole situation. At this point she refuses to talk with me about it anymore when I brought the subject up to her today, so I didn't want to push. Seeing her like this is very discouraging to me because I am in the same process she is in. I just hope my wait doesn't drag out for two years or more. It's a crying shame that immigration seems to break up people instead of keeping them together.

[SqdnGuns 21]

Well, I am going to give up on the VISA journey if we don't have it by Jan or Feb but I'm NOT giving up on my fiancee.

I have spoken to my corporate HR and inquired about our office in Thailand but she is steering me towards Hong Kong or Singapore, they have some real needs there. Thailand is still not out of the questions though, the Thai office is going to be aggressively going after business in Vietnam so we'll have to see.

If I do take on one of those, I will go to Thailand and marry my fiancee and take it from there. If I end up in Hong Kong or Singapore, at least it will be a piece of cake to get a Thai national a visa, unlike the long process we have to endure for the states.

[Ta Ta 1]

I filed for my fiance June 2006.

Interview Dec. 2006.

AP/AR for 9 months and counting.

DNA testing......soon.

Possible 2. in depth interview Jan. 2008.

We met in 2005.......and won't be together until ? / ? 2008.

It is very difficult to maintain a relationship with this process but we are very committed and love each other too much to turn back now. We talk daily and it takes work , patience, courage and faith to cultivate our relationship.

I thank God for keeping us. Quitting is not an option.

Pray for us.

[SqdnGuns 21]

I forgot to add, I am going back there whether I have a job or not..........

[Tussie 0]

Yeah, it is hard to manage a long distance relationship, but showing patience really show how devoted the couple is. Yeah I might not have my husband physically here and dont have as much sex as I would love to, but I think about him everyday and yahoo messenger him everyday. I think Yahoo and Skype have helped alot in our relationship since we can see each other even though we are not around each other. We both have been and still are managing our love for 2 years and 7 months. Just got married in March. I have my days where I just want to say ###### the US and hello Deutschland. I know that me and my pookie will make it somehow anywhere in the damned world. Trust is what keeps me holding on. I trust him very much. If I dont receive a damn approval by December 31 at 2400 hours, I will get the f out the military and give up my rights as a US citizen. All for love. Its better to live a life full of happiness than stress and a bunch of bs.....

[Mohgli 0]

I would recommend your friend to join the group to share her ups and down and maybe shore up some support along the way. I understand the communication system in your husband's country is not the greatest but something can be worked out. you can't just quit cause of a stupid system. unfortunately many of us have gotten used to this US way of things and its always insecurity breathing down about the unknown to move to a 3rd world. but as rightly put, where there is a will there is a way.

just keep the spirits alive and stay true to self.

Edited September 26, 2007 by Mohgli

[Jasman0717 9]

I would recommend your friend to join the group to share her ups and down and maybe shore up some support along the way.

Good recommendation

[questworldz 0]

Sheesh, all these hassles seem to be stemming from going the k-3/I-129f route. I am just glad I just plain got married and filed a straightaway I-130. No problems , no snags so far. God has been good to me and I pray he will continue to do so. I could manage 9 months. 12-18 months I'd go crazy and just say F*** IT and move to my wife and start all over where she is.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Sheesh, all these hassles seem to be stemming from going the k-3/I-129f route. I am just glad I just plain got married and filed a straightaway I-130. No problems , no snags so far. God has been good to me and I pray he will continue to do so. I could manage 9 months. 12-18 months I'd go crazy and just say F*** IT and move to my wife and start all over where she is.

My marriage has been suffereing and its more on his part than mine because he has friends that have gone through Vermont and are already here. We have now 10 months in the process ( a failed 129f due to the bad advice of an attorney) and already people who filed at the same time as me already have an approval through Vermont. Iam deeply deeply depressed and it is affecting my health and my job. I want to tell myself if he really loves me he will wait throught the bad and good but its got to be hard on him watching all the married couples in his town holding hands and walking together and we only have the times I go there and vist. I am now seeing my timeline jump into january and I am losing all my hope. I am losing hope that we will ever be together and I think an approval is going to come much too late for us. I do not know what I will do at this point. All I can do is cry

[xuemei 0]

Currently, I'm waiting for 13 months for my NOA2. I have receive nothing from USCIS. They have told me nothing and they have asked for nothing in regards to additional evidence.

I have had my Congressman's office contact them. A senator, the USCIS Ombudsman. Recently I even wrote the president....

to say the least, I'm frustrated. I have thought maybe I can't do this, but then I think of the happiness I will have with my wife when we are together. I don't think my wife will be here within a year, maybe I'm right, I certainly hope I'm very wrong.

Edited September 26, 2007 by xuemei

[Ta Ta 1]

Currently, I'm waiting for 13 months for my NOA2. I have receive nothing from USCIS. They have told me nothing and they have asked for nothing in regards to additional evidence.

I have had my Congressman's office contact them. A senator, the USCIS Ombudsman. Recently I even wrote the president....

to say the least, I'm frustrated. I have thought maybe I can't do this, but then I think of the happiness I will have with my wife when we are together. I don't think my wife will be here within a year, maybe I'm right, I certainly hope I'm very wrong.

Are you stuck in security checks ?

[xuemei 0]

Currently, I'm waiting for 13 months for my NOA2. I have receive nothing from USCIS. They have told me nothing and they have asked for nothing in regards to additional evidence.

I have had my Congressman's office contact them. A senator, the USCIS Ombudsman. Recently I even wrote the president....

to say the least, I'm frustrated. I have thought maybe I can't do this, but then I think of the happiness I will have with my wife when we are together. I don't think my wife will be here within a year, maybe I'm right, I certainly hope I'm very wrong.

Are you stuck in security checks ?

That is what they are telling me. IF I had problems, they would have found them already.

[severinep 0]

If she divorces her husband, she will just prove the visa services that her husband didn't deserve a visa.

I don't think you can divorce over this or that means they had other problems in their relationship that you are not aware of.

She should ask her husband to try the Green card lottery (if he is elligible).

And I have another question: what happened at the embassy? He had an interview, they said he would get the visa within a month and then nothing? She might be hiding the truth there.

[Immigration Hell 0]

Sheesh, all these hassles seem to be stemming from going the k-3/I-129f route. I am just glad I just plain got married and filed a straightaway I-130. No problems , no snags so far. God has been good to me and I pray he will continue to do so. I could manage 9 months. 12-18 months I'd go crazy and just say F*** IT and move to my wife and start all over where she is.

It's no guarantee that if you file an I-130 that everything will be smooth sailing. We filed an I-130 and my husband went through the interview with no problems and was even approved for a visa and we are sitting in administrative processing going on the 5th month since the interview.

[Immigration Hell 0]

If she divorces her husband, she will just prove the visa services that her husband didn't deserve a visa.

I don't think you can divorce over this or that means they had other problems in their relationship that you are not aware of.

She should ask her husband to try the Green card lottery (if he is elligible).

And I have another question: what happened at the embassy? He had an interview, they said he would get the visa within a month and then nothing? She might be hiding the truth there.

You wanted to know what happened at the embassy, well the visa was not issued and they are in administrative processing. From what I understand this is not unusual, that checks have to be made and especially since he is a Muslim male. It's a known fact that since 9/11 Muslim men between certain ages are going through extra checks and if they are from certain countries they are scrutinized even more so. There is no reason for her to lie about that. She is suffering. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks concerning what she can divorce over because each person is different. If the wait is too much for her perhaps she is not cut out to have her life put on hold indefinitely. Since she can't join him in his country then things don't look good for them. Time will tell if she sticks with her decision or not. As for other problems between the two of them, I think everyone has their problems but I have never been curious to get into her personal business, so I can't answer that one, and to tell you the truth I don't think it's my business or anyone else's. I know from reading other people's posts that this process takes a lot out of people and I don't know why it is so hard to believe that the process can take a toll on a marriage. Even I have my moments of saying I didn't marry to be apart from my husband and yet here I am day in and day out married and without my husband. All I can do is listen and hope things will work out for them both but if it doesn't I will still think she is a teriffic person because she is.