Pity Party!!!

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

There is a really good movie called SLIDING DOORS about how a missed train can change your whole life.

I love that movie Sliding Doors with Gwenyth Paltrow. It really did make all the difference when I lost my first Jeff. It helped put things into perspective for me.

[MelindaandTarek 0]

sparrow - my heart is w/u regarding your gm - so very hard.....doodle - enjoy that cake - - everyone else the separation is very hard and this process is such a challenge - - I think its important that we can all support each other - share in good news - such as Sparrow's Ramy getting his VISA - and as well to be there for other who are still waiting to be reunited...some are still waiting for NOA2, interviews, AP - - each part of the process quite difficult, however I do believe (although I have not experienced it personally may I add YET) the AP/AR because there is no clear time frame....I think it is normal to get down during this process...I have my days, and at the same time, for me it is important to focus on the positive (much like you did Doodle in one of ur posts!!) because we all will be reunited one day as wife_of_mahmoud stated - - one day - and it is part of the process and quite normal to be sad when you cant be with your SO - - hang in there folks....we can get through this together.............

[Moe_lisa 0]

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being Loved by someone deeply gives you courage. May all of you who are going thru the trial of the visa process draw upon the strength and courage of your love to get you thru this so that someday you will be together again.

The best and most beautiful things in the world can not be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller

I know its hard. Try and Hang in there, in time this will pass!

[monnik 0]

Wow. This thread really took off since yesterday.

Here comes my pitiful thread, and my opinions # 2388-2517!

Sparrow: Are we jealous of you? YES, I am. But, I don't think that takes away from our excitement about your visa success. I am excited for you and I wish I was you at the same time!

And, I am very sorry about your grandmother.

Doodle: Threads get started every day about someone feeling bad or upset or depressed from miles away. Your thread is not in direct relation to sparrow's story. Each success, interview, denial, or other step posted here can make us think again about our own situation. Heck, even a song, scent, or memory can have that effect. Too many coincidences to make note of there. I am sorry that your birthday week/day was spent without your husband. But, I am so glad that you are celebrating another year of your life and you continue to nurture your love for God.

Sarah: I have read some of the earliest MENA threads here, and your posts seemed to have more compassion in them when you first joined (my POV). I don't know what that means, except that maybe it wasn't always your style to write things in the most direct or blunt manner. Maybe your writing style changed, maybe you stopped trying to please everybody, or maybe you were shy at first and later started expressing yourself more sincerely. I am not sure. But, I did see that when you first joined VJ, you had some familiar complaints about behavior in this forum/on this board. Why do people have to be so rude? Why do people treat the new kids like #######? ((not direct quotes from you Sarah, just overall atmosphere in some of last year's threads)) I guess I just want to say, I know that you know where most of us are coming from in this forum. That's why your posts are important. Because of your experiences.

I am trying my best not to make anyone sound right or wrong. Cause I, personally, can see all sides to just about any argument. And, I definitely can see each person's POV in this thread.

I think it all comes down to perception and delivery (like doodle said!). ALL of us don't have it in us to sugarcoat the truth NOR to forcefeed it to people. Different strokes!

Each perception of comments, and each person's delivery can be seen differently by almost all of us (especially because there are back stories and private matters that some of us are not aware of) so, I have learned not to always trust my first reading of a post. If I go back and read with a different tone or mindset, I may get a new meaning. That's what's so difficult about interpreting written messages. No voice, pitch, tone, hand gestures, facial expressions, or personal interaction to help you form the whole picture.

Was this post pitiful enough?? Do I sound desperate not to offend anyone? HAHAHAA

I wish I could spit out a well-written post without cutting, pasting, deleting, rewriting, and sometimes even losing my whole post! It takes so long to put something together. I think I am gonna stick to posting pics of hot hunks and pastries.

[doodlebug 3]

monnik I have to say that your case stumps me the most of all of them. For goodness sakes you're living there with your husband AND your husband and you are both Christian!!!! (right?) Not that religion should play a huge role but c'mon let's not beat around the bush since obviously muslim names are very common over there so there's got to be more name hits for them than for others.

Anyways with all you both have going for you I cannot for the life of me fathom why you haven't received the visa yet.....which totally leads me to conclude there is NO rhyme or reason to how Cairo operates.

Oh and yes that was THE MOST politically correct post that I've seen in a long time!!! Have you thought of taking up a career in politics?

[monnik 0]

monnik I have to say that your case stumps me the most of all of them. For goodness sakes you're living there with your husband AND your husband and you are both Christian!!!! (right?) Not that religion should play a huge role but c'mon let's not beat around the bush since obviously muslim names are very common over there so there's got to be more name hits for them than for others.

Anyways with all you both have going for you I cannot for the life of me fathom why you haven't received the visa yet.....which totally leads me to conclude there is NO rhyme or reason to how Cairo operates.

We have red flags.

We met online (of course).

Our marriage was 11 days after my first visit to Egypt.

We didn't have a religious ceremony (mainly because we wanted to save money for the visa process and travelling back to USA, but that didn't work out too well. we have spent 5 times that much money just living here for a year!! later, we decided to get married with just a priest and get the certificate from the church , but without the big party/dress/etc. even that fell through cause the priest thought he was using me or tricked me into getting married. if the priest didn't think our marriage was legit, what does the embassy think??? )

Also, I am 7 years older than him (which is not that much IMO, but considering that the Egyptian men usually get married at my age and they marry a girl who is his age- our relationship looks like a convenience rather than a norm). Also, his 3rd & 4th names are Arabian. Muslim or not?? I don't know. He said the names can be used for either, but that it's mostly for Muslims. (His uncle's name is Osama. Does that affect us in any way? ) There's a lot of ambiguity in the names. His first name is Christian, but everything else is a flip-flopper.

I can't think of a really good reason for the wait. I sit and try to think about anything from my past that may have hurt our chances. I feel guilty that I used to have a lot of Mexican, Guatemalan, & Pakistani friends who were in the US illegally; both overstays and illegal entry. I don't know how deep they dig into your friends/phone records/DMV/etc..... they could see some of my friends were immigration violators. Would that make a difference? Do I look like a person who is just going around trying to help people immigrate or assist violators????? I get all screwed up thinking about it.

I just thank God that I didn't have children, commitments, or any huge factors to keep me from moving to Egypt. I don't think my husband's heart would have been able to take it.

[doodlebug 3]

monnik I have to say that your case stumps me the most of all of them. For goodness sakes you're living there with your husband AND your husband and you are both Christian!!!! (right?) Not that religion should play a huge role but c'mon let's not beat around the bush since obviously muslim names are very common over there so there's got to be more name hits for them than for others.

Anyways with all you both have going for you I cannot for the life of me fathom why you haven't received the visa yet.....which totally leads me to conclude there is NO rhyme or reason to how Cairo operates.

We have red flags.

We met online (of course).

Our marriage was 11 days after my first visit to Egypt.

We didn't have a religious ceremony (mainly because we wanted to save money for the visa process and travelling back to USA, but that didn't work out too well. we have spent 5 times that much money just living here for a year!! later, we decided to get married with just a priest and get the certificate from the church , but without the big party/dress/etc. even that fell through cause the priest thought he was using me or tricked me into getting married. if the priest didn't think our marriage was legit, what does the embassy think??? )

Also, I am 7 years older than him (which is not that much IMO, but considering that the Egyptian men usually get married at my age and they marry a girl who is his age- our relationship looks like a convenience rather than a norm). Also, his 3rd & 4th names are Arabian. Muslim or not?? I don't know. He said the names can be used for either, but that it's mostly for Muslims. (His uncle's name is Osama. Does that affect us in any way? ) There's a lot of ambiguity in the names. His first name is Christian, but everything else is a flip-flopper.

I can't think of a really good reason for the wait. I sit and try to think about anything from my past that may have hurt our chances. I feel guilty that I used to have a lot of Mexican, Guatemalan, & Pakistani friends who were in the US illegally; both overstays and illegal entry. I don't know how deep they dig into your friends/phone records/DMV/etc..... they could see some of my friends were immigration violators. Would that make a difference? Do I look like a person who is just going around trying to help people immigrate or assist violators????? I get all screwed up thinking about it.

I just thank God that I didn't have children, commitments, or any huge factors to keep me from moving to Egypt. I don't think my husband's heart would have been able to take it.

Yeah but even with those you STILL are living there you know? I would think that would negate everything else. As for the age difference it's the same with us (7 yrs) but I don't really consider anything within 10 years either way that big of a gap. That's just me though. My limit used to be that a guy can be 10 yrs older or 5 yrs younger but I guess I stretched it a bit this time. lol.

I don't think they look into the USC past except to see if you have any criminal background. I would hope that my phone records, etc. aren't being digged into without my consent!!!! Don't get me wrong, I'd gladly sign anything letting them look but without my consent that is just wrong in a country that is supposedly the land of the free.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

QUOTE

What is there to bite your tongue about? I am trying to help you out but you can't see that.

QUOTE

To me, it's always a good idea to carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?,' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.

your own signature is so clear BUT i wish you did it and say ['Sorry, got these sacks ] instead of trying to "help" this time !

My signature is a Jack Handey quote from SNL so I really have no idea what you are even talking about. Thanks.

i'm not surprised that you don't have any idea what i'm talking about , coz i wasn't surprised at the first place when i saw that you didn't have any idea what anybody here in this thread was talking about !

NICE TO SEE NOTHING HAS CHANGED (NOT) so i dont feel like im missing to much doodle its your party cry if you want, i believe it was sparrow, hope your grandma gets better

[*Maureen* 0]

I hope your day gets here soon! Time goes by so fast; it only drags when you're waiting for something.

Happy Belated Birthday.

[ayesha4akram 0]

I can't believe some of the comments here that were done in a way that was intended to hurt, but i won't comment on them, cause i see them as malicious and i will simply ignore and not direct any comment to a specific user name because they simply don't matter and certainly don't count, especially in this topic.

Doodle!!! I read about the hair problem, and what a coincidence, this weekkkkk (by the way i've been so, depressed, crying almost every day) that i've noticed my hair comes out in bunches too!! I don't know if it's because i'm stressed out or because i'm fasting, or a combination of both??!! I told my Akram about this and asked him: "will you still love me if my head starts looking like yours? ...We're still together and as strong as ever, so I guess you know his answer to my question

Let's keep our fingers crossed, our faith strong, and unite in prayer that all of us don't have to wait much longer. May God surround us with His blessings especially in these tough times that we're apart from our loved ones, inshaAllah and Ameen.

Hugs,

Ayesha

[doodlebug 3]

I can't believe some of the comments here that were done in a way that was intended to hurt, but i won't comment on them, cause i see them as malicious and i will simply ignore and not direct any comment to a specific user name because they simply don't matter and certainly don't count, especially in this topic.

Doodle!!! I read about the hair problem, and what a coincidence, this weekkkkk (by the way i've been so, depressed, crying almost every day) that i've noticed my hair comes out in bunches too!! I don't know if it's because i'm stressed out or because i'm fasting, or a combination of both??!! I told my Akram about this and asked him: "will you still love me if my head starts looking like yours? ...We're still together and as strong as ever, so I guess you know his answer to my question

Let's keep our fingers crossed, our faith strong, and unite in prayer that all of us don't have to wait much longer. May God surround us with His blessings especially in these tough times that we're apart from our loved ones, inshaAllah and Ameen.

Hugs,

Ayesha

I think it is a combo of stress, fasting and wearing hijab since now I put my hair in a ponytail before covering it whereas before I never put my hair up in a pony. Took me a while to figure that out though! The last time I saw that much hair come out was right after I gave birth!

[ayesha4akram 0]

I can't believe some of the comments here that were done in a way that was intended to hurt, but i won't comment on them, cause i see them as malicious and i will simply ignore and not direct any comment to a specific user name because they simply don't matter and certainly don't count, especially in this topic.

Doodle!!! I read about the hair problem, and what a coincidence, this weekkkkk (by the way i've been so, depressed, crying almost every day) that i've noticed my hair comes out in bunches too!! I don't know if it's because i'm stressed out or because i'm fasting, or a combination of both??!! I told my Akram about this and asked him: "will you still love me if my head starts looking like yours? ...We're still together and as strong as ever, so I guess you know his answer to my question

Let's keep our fingers crossed, our faith strong, and unite in prayer that all of us don't have to wait much longer. May God surround us with His blessings especially in these tough times that we're apart from our loved ones, inshaAllah and Ameen.

Hugs,

Ayesha

I think it is a combo of stress, fasting and wearing hijab since now I put my hair in a ponytail before covering it whereas before I never put my hair up in a pony. Took me a while to figure that out though! The last time I saw that much hair come out was right after I gave birth!

Oh my God, I think you're right! I HAVE been putting my hair up in a pony also and then instead of letting the ponytail hang, i make it into a bun, before putting on the hijab. ughhh, so I guess it's the whole combo that's creating all this hair loss, which, by the way, in NO WAY helps my depression. Ah well, I'll just wait till maghrib and buy a double fudge chocolate cake for that midnight snack

[sarah and hicham 3]

I can't believe some of the comments here that were done in a way that was intended to hurt, but i won't comment on them, cause i see them as malicious and i will simply ignore and not direct any comment to a specific user name because they simply don't matter and certainly don't count, especially in this topic.

Doodle!!! I read about the hair problem, and what a coincidence, this weekkkkk (by the way i've been so, depressed, crying almost every day) that i've noticed my hair comes out in bunches too!! I don't know if it's because i'm stressed out or because i'm fasting, or a combination of both??!! I told my Akram about this and asked him: "will you still love me if my head starts looking like yours? ...We're still together and as strong as ever, so I guess you know his answer to my question

Let's keep our fingers crossed, our faith strong, and unite in prayer that all of us don't have to wait much longer. May God surround us with His blessings especially in these tough times that we're apart from our loved ones, inshaAllah and Ameen.

Hugs,

Ayesha

Is that you NOT commenting? I assume you are referring to me, and my comment were not meant to hurt anyone and were not malicious in any way whatsoever. Thank you though.

[ayesha4akram 0]

I can't believe some of the comments here that were done in a way that was intended to hurt, but i won't comment on them, cause i see them as malicious and i will simply ignore and not direct any comment to a specific user name because they simply don't matter and certainly don't count, especially in this topic.

Doodle!!! I read about the hair problem, and what a coincidence, this weekkkkk (by the way i've been so, depressed, crying almost every day) that i've noticed my hair comes out in bunches too!! I don't know if it's because i'm stressed out or because i'm fasting, or a combination of both??!! I told my Akram about this and asked him: "will you still love me if my head starts looking like yours? ...We're still together and as strong as ever, so I guess you know his answer to my question

Let's keep our fingers crossed, our faith strong, and unite in prayer that all of us don't have to wait much longer. May God surround us with His blessings especially in these tough times that we're apart from our loved ones, inshaAllah and Ameen.

Hugs,

Ayesha

Is that you NOT commenting? I assume you are referring to me, and my comment were not meant to hurt anyone and were not malicious in any way whatsoever. Thank you though.

NO comment. Have a nice day!

[monnik 0]

Yeah but even with those you STILL are living there you know? I would think that would negate everything else. As for the age difference it's the same with us (7 yrs) but I don't really consider anything within 10 years either way that big of a gap. That's just me though. My limit used to be that a guy can be 10 yrs older or 5 yrs younger but I guess I stretched it a bit this time. lol.

I don't think they look into the USC past except to see if you have any criminal background. I would hope that my phone records, etc. aren't being digged into without my consent!!!! Don't get me wrong, I'd gladly sign anything letting them look but without my consent that is just wrong in a country that is supposedly the land of the free.

You would think that I could get some kind of credit for that.....but, they don't give a flip. I actually am not freaking out about the time that we have been waiting because we just finished the cosponsor papers in August. So, it's like we've only been waiting 5 or 6 weeks.

And, just to let you know how freaky the government is:

I helped a friend of mine during a deportation process in 2005. He was Mexican and overstayed a temporary visitor's visa. He had a court date and had to sign in with DHS every week until his court date to keep tabs on him. I used to drive him to the sign-ins cause he didn't have a license and the office was in a city he wasn't familiar with.

Anyway, one day, while waiting in the lobby for him to finish his sign in, a guy popped his head out the door and asked me my name. I told him my FIRST name only. And, his next question was "Do you know any Pakistanians?" What the hay!!????!!@! I hope that was not just a routine conversation starter for that office. Cause it was weird and uncomfortable. I said NO by the way. But, I used to be really good friends with a family from 1999-2003. Then, we lost contact. So, technically, I didn't know any at the time, but I wonder how much they really know about me, you know????? Especially since they were already investigating my NEW friends because of the deportation. SCARY!!!!