Pity Party!!!

[Ban Hammer 13,136]

I just hate to see one person's good news become another person's pity party. I have said it many times on hereand I know it's hard not to do but try try try not to compare cases between eachother. It doesn't help anything.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I'm going to bite my tongue on this one. Have a nice day Sarah!!!

What is there to bite your tongue about? I am trying to help you out but you can't see that.

No I can't. I have every right to let off steam in here if I miss my husband. This is a visa support group and it's quite normal to have feelings of despair when you cannot be with your husband on your birthday. Sparrow got her visa and I'm happy for her and congratulated her. This thread is not about her at all.

When did I tell you that you can't or shouldn't let off steam on here? Of course you should and you have every right to. Everyone on here has missed their fiance or husband at some point in time so we all understand what you are going through. This is the place for everyone to share their ups and downs. I'm only trying to give you some sound advice and it's unfortunate that you can't see that.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Suddenly, I'm thinking of two more old songs,' Go Away, Little Girl' and ' Try A Little Tenderness ' .

[Ban Hammer 13,136]

I'm going to bite my tongue on this one. Have a nice day Sarah!!!

What is there to bite your tongue about? I am trying to help you out but you can't see that.

No I can't. I have every right to let off steam in here if I miss my husband. This is a visa support group and it's quite normal to have feelings of despair when you cannot be with your husband on your birthday. Sparrow got her visa and I'm happy for her and congratulated her. This thread is not about her at all.

When did I tell you that you can't or shouldn't let off steam on here? Of course you should and you have every right to. Everyone on here has missed their fiance or husband at some point in time so we all understand what you are going through. This is the place for everyone to share their ups and downs. I'm only trying to give you some sound advice and it's unfortunate that you can't see that.

here's your sign

[sarah and hicham 3]

Suddenly, I'm thinking of two more old songs,' Go Away, Little Girl' and ' Try A Little Tenderness ' .

Hey Jabree, I was just thinking of the same two songs! Twinsies!

[~~~water~~~ 0]

I think it is hard I mean impossiblle for ANYONE to understand what it like to be in AP for months unless they have been in AP for months. Somtimes its best just to say nothing

[Nagishkaw 510]

Suddenly, I'm thinking of two more old songs,' Go Away, Little Girl' and ' Try A Little Tenderness ' .

Hey Jabree, I was just thinking of the same two songs! Twinsies!

I don't think so.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I think it is hard I mean impossiblle for ANYONE to understand what it like to be in AP for months unless they have been in AP for months. Somtimes its best just to say nothing

Never have I claimed to know what it is like to be stuck in AP.

Once again I am trying to give Doodle some advice. I am not trying to be mean, I am just trying to give her advice because it's clear that she has been down lately.

I know what it's like to be apart and I know how hard it is. The reason that I am sharing what I think is because it really helped me stay on track during our visa process, that's all.

[allousa 1]

Why does this have to be so hard? Why does my husband have to be from one of the hardest countries to immigrate from???? Why couldn't he have been from Canada or England or some place that doesn't do AR/AP or at least a consulate that freakin' gives you a straight answer about what the heck is going on???

I feel like dragging all of us outside the embassy and grabbing big huge signs saying BRING OUR HUSBAND'S HOME!!!!!!! And marching back and forth screaming until they listen to us and see our tears and feel our pain and perhaps gain some compassion.

I think they specifically hire people that have NO COMPASSION!

I wrote a letter to our State Congress Rep, Sue Myrick. She is currently pushing heavy legislation to combat illegal immigration. I explained that there are THOUSANDS of people trying to do it the "legal" way and we are subjected to insane costs and lengthy processing times. I asked how does this current method encourage people to follow the legal path of immigration.

Do you think I've heard from her??????

[doodlebug 3]

When did I tell you that you can't or shouldn't let off steam on here? Of course you should and you have every right to. Everyone on here has missed their fiance or husband at some point in time so we all understand what you are going through. This is the place for everyone to share their ups and downs. I'm only trying to give you some sound advice and it's unfortunate that you can't see that.

What a pity to see a pity party created when "Sparrow" got her good news. Coincidence?

Sorry but this does not look like someone giving advice. It's all in the delivery. Perhaps if instead of posting this you posted what you said above it I wouldn't have reacted the same way.

Why does this have to be so hard? Why does my husband have to be from one of the hardest countries to immigrate from???? Why couldn't he have been from Canada or England or some place that doesn't do AR/AP or at least a consulate that freakin' gives you a straight answer about what the heck is going on???

I feel like dragging all of us outside the embassy and grabbing big huge signs saying BRING OUR HUSBAND'S HOME!!!!!!! And marching back and forth screaming until they listen to us and see our tears and feel our pain and perhaps gain some compassion.

I think they specifically hire people that have NO COMPASSION!

I wrote a letter to our State Congress Rep, Sue Myrick. She is currently pushing heavy legislation to combat illegal immigration. I explained that there are THOUSANDS of people trying to do it the "legal" way and we are subjected to insane costs and lengthy processing times. I asked how does this current method encourage people to follow the legal path of immigration.

Do you think I've heard from her??????

Did Rome update their list yet?

[sarah and hicham 3]

When did I tell you that you can't or shouldn't let off steam on here? Of course you should and you have every right to. Everyone on here has missed their fiance or husband at some point in time so we all understand what you are going through. This is the place for everyone to share their ups and downs. I'm only trying to give you some sound advice and it's unfortunate that you can't see that.

What a pity to see a pity party created when "Sparrow" got her good news. Coincidence?

Sorry but this does not look like someone giving advice. It's all in the delivery. Perhaps if instead of posting this you posted what you said above it I wouldn't have reacted the same way.

Why does this have to be so hard? Why does my husband have to be from one of the hardest countries to immigrate from???? Why couldn't he have been from Canada or England or some place that doesn't do AR/AP or at least a consulate that freakin' gives you a straight answer about what the heck is going on???

I feel like dragging all of us outside the embassy and grabbing big huge signs saying BRING OUR HUSBAND'S HOME!!!!!!! And marching back and forth screaming until they listen to us and see our tears and feel our pain and perhaps gain some compassion.

I think they specifically hire people that have NO COMPASSION!

I wrote a letter to our State Congress Rep, Sue Myrick. She is currently pushing heavy legislation to combat illegal immigration. I explained that there are THOUSANDS of people trying to do it the "legal" way and we are subjected to insane costs and lengthy processing times. I asked how does this current method encourage people to follow the legal path of immigration.

Do you think I've heard from her??????

Did Rome update their list yet?

I didn't say that my first post was giving advice. I thought it was a strange coincidence and in my other posts I shared with you what helped me through our process.

[allousa 1]

I just hate to see one person's good news become another person's pity party. I have said it many times on hereand I know it's hard not to do but try try try not to compare cases between eachother. It doesn't help anything.

Wow...just wow!!!! And your caustic remarks sure are helping???????

How rude!

[deadbird 2]

Just because I had good news yesterday/today doesn't mean I will have good news tomorrow. My grandmother is dying in the hospital and while Ramy has his visa he won't be here soon enough. She's going for surgery tomorrow or Thursday (and then she'll have a second surgery the next day) and there's a very high chance she won't make it. We're supposed to be happy but instead we kind of argued about when he's coming because he told me now he needs about a month to finish up his business, pack, and leave, but if my grandmother dies I don't want to go to another funeral without him (we lost a friend of ours from high school in June to an atv accident). Yesterday I cried almost the whole way from the hospital to my dress fitting because a part of me knows she'll never see it and I'm her only grandchild.

I wasn't going to post in here at all till I saw I was brought up but if you need a pity party then you need a party with chocolates and movies and friends in a large flat in Egypt with a cow in the kitchen! And if you just need to talk, well then you need to talk.

Doodle is right, VJ is pretty much visa process support but I want to add that it's through this board that we make friendships and when we hit rough spots--divorce, pets, family members dying-- that have nothing to do with visas, we're there for each other, even if we've never met in person. It might not seem like much but it really does mean a lot.

[allousa 1]

When did I tell you that you can't or shouldn't let off steam on here? Of course you should and you have every right to. Everyone on here has missed their fiance or husband at some point in time so we all understand what you are going through. This is the place for everyone to share their ups and downs. I'm only trying to give you some sound advice and it's unfortunate that you can't see that.

What a pity to see a pity party created when "Sparrow" got her good news. Coincidence?

Sorry but this does not look like someone giving advice. It's all in the delivery. Perhaps if instead of posting this you posted what you said above it I wouldn't have reacted the same way.

Why does this have to be so hard? Why does my husband have to be from one of the hardest countries to immigrate from???? Why couldn't he have been from Canada or England or some place that doesn't do AR/AP or at least a consulate that freakin' gives you a straight answer about what the heck is going on???

I feel like dragging all of us outside the embassy and grabbing big huge signs saying BRING OUR HUSBAND'S HOME!!!!!!! And marching back and forth screaming until they listen to us and see our tears and feel our pain and perhaps gain some compassion.

I think they specifically hire people that have NO COMPASSION!

I wrote a letter to our State Congress Rep, Sue Myrick. She is currently pushing heavy legislation to combat illegal immigration. I explained that there are THOUSANDS of people trying to do it the "legal" way and we are subjected to insane costs and lengthy processing times. I asked how does this current method encourage people to follow the legal path of immigration.

Do you think I've heard from her??????

Did Rome update their list yet?

No they haven't. I'm just checking everyday now. Their website still says August 30th! #######! This is all really starting to have a physical effect on me. My stomach stays in constant knots so I haven't been eating much. I keep forgetting everything because my mind is not with it. In the whole 3 1/2 years, I don't ever remember it being this bad. Sure I was nervous during his interviews, but maybe it's because this is it. I swear if when the list is updated and it still shows that his case is waiting a decision, I'm going to loose it.

And let me just say Doodle, you have EVERY right to feel the way you do. It doesn't matter if someone has been waiting 6 months or 6 years! The feelings of despair are awful for all of us. Most of us here really do celebrate when someone gets their visa because we are happy that their nightmare is over. And that same bunch of us will be here to rally around those that are struggling with the process or get bad news.

Just hang in there girlie! You have to believe in the love that you two share and KNOW that it's going to carry you through!

[AichaKandisha 0]

I'm going to bite my tongue on this one. Have a nice day Sarah!!!

What is there to bite your tongue about? I am trying to help you out but you can't see that.

No I can't. I have every right to let off steam in here if I miss my husband. This is a visa support group and it's quite normal to have feelings of despair when you cannot be with your husband on your birthday. Sparrow got her visa and I'm happy for her and congratulated her. This thread is not about her at all.

When did I tell you that you can't or shouldn't let off steam on here? Of course you should and you have every right to. Everyone on here has missed their fiance or husband at some point in time so we all understand what you are going through. This is the place for everyone to share their ups and downs. I'm only trying to give you some sound advice and it's unfortunate that you can't see that.

Out of all due respect Sarah, and these are my opinions and feelings only which may not amount to a hill of beans, but after many occasions, your comments have come across as rather harsh and hurtful, even though they weren't directed at me. I understand that everyone has their own style of communicating. What I find most disturbing, however, is even when numerous posters have commented to you about something you've said as being hurtful in one way or another, your usual response is along the lines of trying to help them or you're trying to show them the truth. I have to admit that if I look hard enough, I can see where you may be coming from occasionally, however, there are many others here that are able to help and be truthful without being hurtful. I know that you've commented on other threads about how women are treated or being abused and that you can't understand how they end up or stay in those situations. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I feel that many many times your comments come across as being abusive to me to these women or to others in those threads as well. I find it quite unnerving how you comment on how you don't understand being abused, yet you are abusing them at the same time with your words. Again, these are my opinions and feelings only and they may or may not have anything to do with what is really going on. Again, I meant nothing in disrespect.