Responses from Police Officers

[LondonGooner 0]

These comments were actually taken from the on-board video recording equipment from various patrol vehicles around the country...

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 2700 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine wheth! er you a re drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

I smell bacon.

[eric&gen 0]

Offer to buy coffee and donuts? pizza? pigs in a blanket lol get it huh huh huh

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Hehehehe, I immediately copied these to share with two of my friends who are in law enforcement. I know they will enjoy them, too!

[Mags 112]

Ouchie to the last one, especially!

[Fandango 1,439]

Some of those have that 'cop tone' that I hate oh so much......

[LondonGooner 0]

Some of those have that 'cop tone' that I hate oh so much......

Generally, most Coppers, will tell you that the best way to deal with a situation is to be calm, respectful, communicate effectively and when you have the unquestioning moral authority of the law backing you up then you shouldn't have a problem in explaining to someone why they are being written up... however, there are those one or two exceptions. I always tried to avoid inflaming a situation by saying some smart alec remark to an offender even if I have been sorely tempted.

[Jasman0717 9]

[Krikit 1,164]

Reminds me of a Guy I Knew (GIK) who was stopped by the police....

Police: And who might you be?

GIK: Well, I might be Abe Lincoln, but I ain't.

It didn't go too well for the GIK.