Does Islam allow Muslim men to marry Christian women?

[dawnnhatem 0]

My fiancee finally told his mom a little about us, after 1.5 years being together. She asked first if I was a Muslim. Now for the third time he is saying he is not coming to USA because he cannot marry a Christian, etc. all the while telling me how much he loves me which is all so crazy to me, and I am definitely close to giving up. My research says it is okay, but wondered your opinions. I think he is overly influenced by his parents, not the facts. Here is some of what I found.

Maybe he is right that He can't do it. Doesn't matter if its allowed, It doesn't have to be his parents, or his culture. It could be that he feels strongly about this. Maybe he is looking at the future predicting (correctly) that it is going to be hard to head a marriage and raise a family with this difference. Thats actually very responsible of him to consider that and tell you before he comes here. Maybe he is wanting you to take a closer look at islam.

...an maybe his parents chose some girl and they are making him feel guilty.

good luck to you guys

[The_dip_sticks 0]

Maybe the mother is afraid that the children will not be brought up as Muslims? Have you discussed children with him and how they will be raised? That's the only thing I can think of that would be a problem since it's definitely allowed.

I don't get the part though where it's ok only if a Christian does not worship Jesus. Catholics are Christians and because they believe in the Trinity, when they worship God they are worshiping the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit............the Son being Jesus. Granted they say God in three persons but still the fact is that a Catholic will be technically worshipping Jesus if they worship God. If they are not and truly believe that they are not then they don't believe in the Trinity which is a HUGE requirement of their faith. Just thought I'd mention that.

Yes you are absolutely right. This is a major factor in the Quran itself, the whole lesson of the Quran is lailahaillala (there is no God except God alone). So to believe in the trinity according to the Quran is a big no no and the Quran calls them pagans. This is directly from the Quran:

[4:171] O people of the scripture, do not transgress the limits of your religion, and do not say about GOD except the truth. The Messiah, Jesus, the son of Mary, was a messenger of GOD, and His word that He had sent to Mary, and a revelation from Him. Therefore, you shall believe in GOD and His messengers. You shall not say, "Trinity." You shall refrain from this for your own good. GOD is only one god. Be He glorified; He is much too glorious to have a son. To Him belongs everything in the heavens and everything on earth. GOD suffices as Lord and Master.

[4:172] The Messiah would never disdain from being a servant of GOD, nor would the closest angels. Those who disdain from worshipping Him, and are too arrogant to submit, He will summon them all before Him.

[5:73] Pagans indeed are those who say that GOD is a third of a trinity. There is no god except the one god. Unless they refrain from saying this, those who disbelieve among them will incur a painful retribution.

Adiel (mireyas hubby)

[The_dip_sticks 0]

Yes and no... The Quran teaches that muslims can marry any faith so as long as they adhere to one God without partners. So christians who worship Jesus for example would not fit that category as in Islam its considered idol worship. The testement of faith in Islam is lailaha illalah (there is no other God except God alone) or one of the ten commandments "you shall have no other God before me"

The Quran recognises not all christians worship Jesus but there are many that do or some even also worship mary. So in a nut shell muslims can marry anyone that is an absolute monotheist with no partners in anyway not mattering what faith.

The answer is YES. People interpret the Quran in ways that benefit what they choose to believe. I'm sure if you ask a christian laying flowers at the feet of a statue of mary if they worship her, they will say they do not. His mother probably would say that they are. Northern African countries interpret the Quran in ways that often clearly separate themselves from western culture. Which for me loses the spirit of the word of God. But I know that's not the point of this discussion. Like I said, the answer is yes, your fiance can marry a christian without breaking his faith.

This issue is cultural not religious. And if this is how he deals with cultural issues in your relationship he's in for a rude awakening because when he gets to the US they will increase not decrease and if you have children they get even worse. He's really gonna have to work with you and come up with a better way to deal with your differences so that you can lead a more peaceful life.

Its not yes its yes and no as i stated before, this is from the Quran:

[5:75] The Messiah, son of Mary, is no more than a messenger like the messengers before him, and his mother was a saint. Both of them used to eat the food. Note how we explain the revelations for them, and note how they still deviate!

[5:76] Say, "Would you worship beside GOD powerless idols who can neither harm you, nor benefit you? GOD is Hearer, Omniscient."

As you can see the Quran says worshipping them is idol worship and another verse says this:

[2:221] Do not marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor shall you give your daughters in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing man is better than an idolater, even if you like him.

this also goes for men and women. not just can men marry another faith.

Adiel (Mireya's hubby)

[Caladan 19]

Christians, even Catholics, do not worship Mary. Nope, nope, nope. But Jesus is God for Christians, and there's really no way around that. A Christian who just accepts Jesus as a prophet wouldn't be a very good Christian under most sects.

But none of that really matters in this case except to the extent that it makes an interfaith marriage difficult, and that it's not just as easy as saying 'Muslims can marry Christians as long as they don't believe in the divinity of Christ', as that excludes a lot of people. The problem's his mother and HER interpretation of what her good boy is allowed to do, and I fear that even if the facts of Islam differ from what she thinks, this isn't going to be a problem solved with philosophy.

[The_dip_sticks 0]

Christians, even Catholics, do not worship Mary. Nope, nope, nope. But Jesus is God for Christians, and there's really no way around that. A Christian who just accepts Jesus as a prophet wouldn't be a very good Christian under most sects.

But none of that really matters in this case except to the extent that it makes an interfaith marriage difficult, and that it's not just as easy as saying 'Muslims can marry Christians as long as they don't believe in the divinity of Christ', as that excludes a lot of people. The problem's his mother and HER interpretation of what her good boy is allowed to do, and I fear that even if the facts of Islam differ from what she thinks, this isn't going to be a problem solved with philosophy.

Sure.. Im just giving prespective of Islamic teachings... even though paying homage or asking Mary to send your prayers to jesus because he is too busy or something is a form of worship, besides paying homage to mary is a no no no according to the bible:

Luke 4:8 when he says, "You shall do homage to the Lord your God; Him alone shall you adore."

Adiel (Mireya's hubby)

[sarah and hicham 3]

I don't know the circumstances of your visit to Morocco or why you didn't meet his parents but I see that you have already filed your I-129F here. I think it was a big mistake not meeting his family while you were there.

My experience with parents and approving or disapproving of a relationship don't have to do with religion but that my parents didn't know what to think about me going ot Morocco to visit someone. It was a very hard 2 years before my parents met Hicham. Once Hicham got here and they spent time together everything changed completely. All of their fears and misunderstandings went out the window. He is part of the family now in every sense.

I know that this has nothing to do with religion but I think sometimes it really helps to meet if possible and get to know eachother before any rash decisions or judgements are made.

That might not pertain to you but I am sorry that this is happening and I wish you the best of luck.

[Ban Hammer 13,112]

[5:73] Pagans indeed are those who say that GOD is a third of a trinity. There is no god except the one god. Unless they refrain from saying this, those who disbelieve among them will incur a painful retribution.

so does that mean catholics are pagans?

[doodlebug 3]

[5:73] Pagans indeed are those who say that GOD is a third of a trinity. There is no god except the one god. Unless they refrain from saying this, those who disbelieve among them will incur a painful retribution.

so does that mean catholics are pagans?

The interpretation is different in the Qurans that I use.

The one that I have downloaded on this computer (from Islam Solutions) and the one that my husband gave me, "The Noble Qur'an in the English Language" by Dr. Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din al-Hilali and Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan says:

5:73 Surely, disbelievers are those who said: "Allah is the third of the three (in a Trinity)." But there is no ilah (god) (none who has the right to be worshipped) but One Ilah (God-Allah). And if they cease not from what they say, verily, a painful torment will befall the disbelievers among them.

Another one I have "The Meaning of the Holy Qur'an" by Abdullah Yusuf Ali says:

5:73 They do blaspheme who say: Allah is one of three in a Trinity: for there is no god except One God. If they desist not from their word (of blasphemy), verily a grievous penalty will befall the blasphemers among them.

Neither states they are pagans.

[The_dip_sticks 0]

[5:73] Pagans indeed are those who say that GOD is a third of a trinity. There is no god except the one god. Unless they refrain from saying this, those who disbelieve among them will incur a painful retribution.

so does that mean catholics are pagans?

The interpretation is different in the Qurans that I use.

The one that I have downloaded on this computer (from Islam Solutions) and the one that my husband gave me, "The Noble Qur'an in the English Language" by Dr. Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din al-Hilali and Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan says:

5:73 Surely, disbelievers are those who said: "Allah is the third of the three (in a Trinity)." But there is no ilah (god) (none who has the right to be worshipped) but One Ilah (God-Allah). And if they cease not from what they say, verily, a painful torment will befall the disbelievers among them.

Another one I have "The Meaning of the Holy Qur'an" by Abdullah Yusuf Ali says:

5:73 They do blaspheme who say: Allah is one of three in a Trinity: for there is no god except One God. If they desist not from their word (of blasphemy), verily a grievous penalty will befall the blasphemers among them.

Neither states they are pagans.

Yes agreed the word can be trabslated as disbelievers

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

My fiancee finally told his mom a little about us, after 1.5 years being together. She asked first if I was a Muslim. Now for the third time he is saying he is not coming to USA because he cannot marry a Christian, etc. all the while telling me how much he loves me which is all so crazy to me, and I am definitely close to giving up. My research says it is okay, but wondered your opinions. I think he is overly influenced by his parents, not the facts. Here is some of what I found.

Yes, you can marry without changing your religion, because the holy Qur'an expressly and specifically permits the marriage of a Muslim man to a woman of the Ahl-e-Kitab (people of the Scriptures). The Ahl-e-Kitab is interpreted to mean people of the Jewish or Christian faith. After marriage, it is binding upon the Muslim husband to permit his Christian or Jewish wife to practise her own religion without any hindrance from him whatsoever. On the other hand, the holy Qur'an expressly forbids a Muslim woman from marriage to a non-Muslim man (even if he belongs to the people of Scriptures -- e.g. Christians or Jews).

Generally speaking, the son's parents often prefer to have a Muslim daughter-in-law, mainly for cultural and social considerations -- but not because of religious requirements. This is similar to the practise of parents encouraging their children to marry people with similar racial, linquistic, and social status (such as wealth, nobility, profession, beauty, skin colour and so on). What really matters however, is the good moral character and compatibility of the couple.

Two adults who are able to make their own decisions may do so freely when it comes to choosing a marriage partner, and if they can, they might also try to accommodate the parent's wishes if possible. If it is not possible, then that is too bad. Marriage in Islam is a civil contract made between two consenting parties out of their own free will.

OK as has already been said, the issue is not what is "permitted in Islam," but rather what the family (in particular, it seems, the mother) expects him to do.

This man asked you to marry him, then later said (and even repeating it three times) that he could not ? It seems he is telling you quite clearly that he is unable to fulfill the engagement. He may indeed love you dearly, but maybe he didn't realize at first how much his mother would oppose the idea (although the fact that he hid your relationship from her for a year and a half is a big hint that he suspected she would not approve.) Anyway, he is saying without ambiguity now that he cannot marry without his family agreeing to it.

It's possible that he may change his mind later; however I think you have no choice at this point but to withdraw your fiance petition, as one of the requirements is that you both intend to marry each other. Of course let him know that you must do this.

I don't think it's a good idea to try to debate the issue with him, whether on religious grounds or any other. Family expectations are an extremely serious thing in ME/NA. A parent's vehement and openly expressed disapproval of a proposed marriage is not an easy thing for a ME/NA person to defy. There are some who will disregard the "family veto," but not so many. I think the man is trying to be very honest and frank with you -- it seems he does not wish to lead you down the primrose path, while you cling to false hopes. So you have to respect him for that, even if it breaks your heart to hear it.

You have to ask yourself: are you satisfied with being his "friend" or "girlfriend" without marriage ? You also need to be frank and honest with him about your feelings. And what about if and when he decides to marry another who IS deemed "acceptible" by his family ? So I think withdrawing the petition, and also maybe cooling off your relationship might be in order at this time. Maybe he needs some time to reflect without distraction, to think about what he really wants.

I'm sorry for the pain you must feel over this. Wish you all the best.

-MK

[polarbear 0]

This man asked you to marry him, then later said (and even repeating it three times) that he could not ? It seems he is telling you quite clearly that he is unable to fulfill the engagement. He may indeed love you dearly, but maybe he didn't realize at first how much his mother would oppose the idea (although the fact that he hid your relationship from her for a year and a half is a big hint that he suspected she would not approve.) Anyway, he is saying without ambiguity now that he cannot marry without his family agreeing to it.

It's possible that he may change his mind later; however I think you have no choice at this point but to withdraw your fiance petition, as one of the requirements is that you both intend to marry each other. Of course let him know that you must do this.

I don't think it's a good idea to try to debate the issue with him, whether on religious grounds or any other. Family expectations are an extremely serious thing in ME/NA. A parent's vehement and openly expressed disapproval of a proposed marriage is not an easy thing for a ME/NA person to defy. There are some who will disregard the "family veto," but not so many. I think the man is trying to be very honest and frank with you -- it seems he does not wish to lead you down the primrose path, while you cling to false hopes. So you have to respect him for that, even if it breaks your heart to hear it.

You have to ask yourself: are you satisfied with being his "friend" or "girlfriend" without marriage ? You also need to be frank and honest with him about your feelings. And what about if and when he decides to marry another who IS deemed "acceptible" by his family ? So I think withdrawing the petition, and also maybe cooling off your relationship might be in order at this time. Maybe he needs some time to reflect without distraction, to think about what he really wants.

I'm sorry for the pain you must feel over this. Wish you all the best.

-MK

I agree with alot of this.

One thing I did not disclose earlier about my SO is that he was interested in a french girl about 5 years ago, but ended up breaking it off due to family pressures and extreem opposition from his mother - and he was living in another country while this was going on, not living in the same household. Aparently there were other problems at the time (she couldn't handle the pressure and didn't want to meet the family because of this) but I have a feeling that all came about because of his mother. I am not really suprised that he doesn't want to take any chances with me and didn't tell anyone until we were engaged.

His mother also started parading other girls in front of him when he returned home over a year ago and trying to get him to agree to an arranged marriage bc she decided that was the only thing that was going to keep him in Egypt (he hadn't been home in 6 years). We were not engaged at this time, the rest of the family did not know about me, and we weren't even talking much for 3 months (outside cercumstances -sp?). I found out about this afterward when we started talking again. Obviously he didn't accept, but his mother was apparently very harsh on him for it and even stole his passport so that he could not return to France (and me). She was trying to force him, and it wasn't even about a fiance, just that he wanted to marry for love.

Don't underestimate family pressures and expectations for a MENA man.

[mybackpages 0]

Don't underestimate family pressures and expectations for a MENA man.

Can we say this again? and louder?

This is one of the realities of a US-MENA relationship. If it is not something you understand, accept or agree with, you are likey to face some rough patches as the marriage goes forward.

[monnik 0]

Christians, even Catholics, do not worship Mary. Nope, nope, nope. But Jesus is God for Christians, and there's really no way around that. A Christian who just accepts Jesus as a prophet wouldn't be a very good Christian under most sects.

But none of that really matters in this case except to the extent that it makes an interfaith marriage difficult, and that it's not just as easy as saying 'Muslims can marry Christians as long as they don't believe in the divinity of Christ', as that excludes a lot of people. The problem's his mother and HER interpretation of what her good boy is allowed to do, and I fear that even if the facts of Islam differ from what she thinks, this isn't going to be a problem solved with philosophy.

You always hit the points perfectly, Caladan. How do you do that?

The question about allowing marriages has already been answered. It is most likely a family pressure situation and something very powerful is going on that the OP may not be aware of.

2nd topic that came up here (long post - sorry):

Christians worship one God in Trinity and Trinity in Unity, neither confounding the Persons nor dividing the substance. For there is one Person of the Father, another of the Son, and another of the Holy Ghost; but the Godhead of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, is all one, the glory equal, the majesty co-eternal. The Father is made of none, neither created nor begotten; the Son is of the Father alone, not made, nor created, but begotten; the Holy Ghost is of the Father and of the Son, neither made, nor created, nor begotten, but proceeding.

(Taken from a creed from the early church's teachings)

In simpler terms, it is that there are three Persons who can accurately be called 'the One God' or 'three persons in one ultimate unit'.

RATIONALIZING THE TRINITY

We are to worship one God and one God only, but that God is not limited to our logics and should not be cut down to size to fit into our rational thinking.

Take a look at Isaiah 40:18:

To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare him to?

or Isaiah 46.5:

"To whom will you compare me or count me equal? To whom will you liken me that we may be compared?

Also, read these descriptions and biblical assertions. (I KNOW SOME WILL SAY THE BIBLE IS CORRUPT, AND THAT MAY BE TRUE. PLEASE REFER TO MY LAST PARAGRAPHS. PLUS, THERE ARE ARABIC RESOURCES THAT HAVE SIMILAR STATEMENTS AND COME FROM BOOKS OTHER THAN THE BIBLE)

John 1 - "The Word was WITH God and the Word was GOD" - surprisingly simple statement of pure-and-simple plurality-in-unity. And, this Word (i.e. Jesus Christ) prayed to the Father in heaven. (numerous places)

This Jesus would send the Holy Spirit from the Father in heaven, after his departure from earth. (John 14-17)

This Spirit could be grieved (Ephs 4) and lied to (Acts 5), and made sovereign decisions (I Cor 12:11 etc.)

These three are listed co-equally and co-ordinately in the baptism (Matt 28) and the Benediction (2 Cor 13:14).

Old Testament passages demonstrate over and again that the Angel of YHWH 'was' YHWH and 'was with YHWH'; and that the Spirit of YHWH 'was' YHWH and 'was with YHWH'. Old Testament passages describe a messianic figure that is super-human, super-angelic (agreed to even by non-Christian rabbinic writings), and is even called YHWH in a few verses.

OPPOSITION TO THE TRINITY

There are objections to this Judeo-Christian belief, but those who oppose try to philosophize and rationalize God down into our image.

Frankly, one would expect a "God" to be more complex than everything He created! One would expect SOME sort of duality or overlapping, but for one to say that God COULD NOT have three interior Persons would be VERY intellectually presumptuous (especially us being mortal creatures). To say that a God who could speak a universe into existence HAS TO BE no more complex in His nature than humans are would be GROUNDLESS assumption/speculation of the most ludicrous sort.

JESUS=GOD?

I know of at least one verse from the Quran that says that Jesus arose after his death (Surah 19:30-35). Mortal men can't do that. Most of Jesus' miracles were performed without invocation; without calling on any type of higher power. When he said it, it was done. Just the way the Quran says that God wills in Surah 3:47 and 3:59. Can a mortal will miracles into existence?

He was a Jew probably from Galilee who became, by birth, adoption, miraculously or otherwise, the sacrificial lamb, who died in order to atone for the sins of people. At best he is God who leaves eternity to become a finite person with all the frailties of humans, including death, the incarnation being a part of his atoning work. At the very least he was a Jewish radical among a lot of Jewish radicals who gathered enough people around him so that the message he came to share did not die with his death, but grew in a strangely fertile Roman and Mediterranean environment. At any rate, I accept a supernatural reason for the spread of the gospel about a supernatural being whose mission is to save the creation from its separateness from God.

Hard evidence? Nope. But, I find the fact that the church spread the gospel, and that early Christians and Christianity survived, evidence of its fulfilling God's intentions.

[doodlebug 3]

Not to get into a huge Christian debate here but you reminded me of my beginning doubtful days when you showed how Jesus said he would bring the Holy Spirit after he departed from this Earth. One of the first and strongest things that hit me was how could John the Baptist baptize Jesus with the Holy Spirit if it hadn't come yet, since it was going to come after Jesus departed the Earth.

Another very strong thing that hit me was if Jesus *is* God, why would he have to pray *to* God in the garden of Gethsemane.

Again not to debate but your post just reminded me of that.

[doodlebug 3]

JESUS=GOD?

I know of at least one verse from the Quran that says that Jesus arose after his death (Surah 19:30-35). Mortal men can't do that. Most of Jesus' miracles were performed without invocation; without calling on any type of higher power. When he said it, it was done. Just the way the Quran says that God wills in Surah 3:47 and 3:59. Can a mortal will miracles into existence?

Actually when Surah 19:33 states "So Peace is on me the day I was born, the day that I die, and the Day that I shall be raised up to life (again)", the raising up again is what Christians refer to as the second coming. That's actually something we agree with which is that when judgement day comes, Jesus, pbuh, will be raised from the dead and come to Earth. It's not talking about what I think you're referring to which is the resurrection that is celebrated in Easter.