Does Islam allow Muslim men to marry Christian women?

[dreamscometrue 0]

My fiancee finally told his mom a little about us, after 1.5 years being together. She asked first if I was a Muslim. Now for the third time he is saying he is not coming to USA because he cannot marry a Christian, etc. all the while telling me how much he loves me which is all so crazy to me, and I am definitely close to giving up. My research says it is okay, but wondered your opinions. I think he is overly influenced by his parents, not the facts. Here is some of what I found.

Yes, you can marry without changing your religion, because the holy Qur'an expressly and specifically permits the marriage of a Muslim man to a woman of the Ahl-e-Kitab (people of the Scriptures). The Ahl-e-Kitab is interpreted to mean people of the Jewish or Christian faith. After marriage, it is binding upon the Muslim husband to permit his Christian or Jewish wife to practise her own religion without any hindrance from him whatsoever. On the other hand, the holy Qur'an expressly forbids a Muslim woman from marriage to a non-Muslim man (even if he belongs to the people of Scriptures -- e.g. Christians or Jews).

Generally speaking, the son's parents often prefer to have a Muslim daughter-in-law, mainly for cultural and social considerations -- but not because of religious requirements. This is similar to the practise of parents encouraging their children to marry people with similar racial, linquistic, and social status (such as wealth, nobility, profession, beauty, skin colour and so on). What really matters however, is the good moral character and compatibility of the couple.

Two adults who are able to make their own decisions may do so freely when it comes to choosing a marriage partner, and if they can, they might also try to accommodate the parent's wishes if possible. If it is not possible, then that is too bad. Marriage in Islam is a civil contract made between two consenting parties out of their own free will.

[Caladan 19]

It might be a mom thing more than an Islam thing, and unfortunately, it could be just fine in Islam but still freak out his family.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

My fiancee finally told his mom a little about us, after 1.5 years being together. She asked first if I was a Muslim. Now for the third time he is saying he is not coming to USA because he cannot marry a Christian, etc. all the while telling me how much he loves me which is all so crazy to me, and I am definitely close to giving up. My research says it is okay, but wondered your opinions. I think he is overly influenced by his parents, not the facts. Here is some of what I found.

Yes, you can marry without changing your religion, because the holy Qur'an expressly and specifically permits the marriage of a Muslim man to a woman of the Ahl-e-Kitab (people of the Scriptures). The Ahl-e-Kitab is interpreted to mean people of the Jewish or Christian faith. After marriage, it is binding upon the Muslim husband to permit his Christian or Jewish wife to practise her own religion without any hindrance from him whatsoever. On the other hand, the holy Qur'an expressly forbids a Muslim woman from marriage to a non-Muslim man (even if he belongs to the people of Scriptures -- e.g. Christians or Jews).

Generally speaking, the son's parents often prefer to have a Muslim daughter-in-law, mainly for cultural and social considerations -- but not because of religious requirements. This is similar to the practise of parents encouraging their children to marry people with similar racial, linquistic, and social status (such as wealth, nobility, profession, beauty, skin colour and so on). What really matters however, is the good moral character and compatibility of the couple.

Two adults who are able to make their own decisions may do so freely when it comes to choosing a marriage partner, and if they can, they might also try to accommodate the parent's wishes if possible. If it is not possible, then that is too bad. Marriage in Islam is a civil contract made between two consenting parties out of their own free will.

While I am no expert as far as my understanding: Yes - it's as simple as that.

[mybackpages 0]

It is permissable for a muslim to marry a christian, but i think your research has the answer why the parents are saying no.

My heart goes out to you. I now not all families are the same and not all men have the same relationship with their families, but I would worry about going forward in a marriage with a Moroccan man whose family did not approve.

Did y ou meet the family before?

[dreamscometrue 0]

It is permissable for a muslim to marry a christian, but i think your research has the answer why the parents are saying no.

My heart goes out to you. I now not all families are the same and not all men have the same relationship with their families, but I would worry about going forward in a marriage with a Moroccan man whose family did not approve.

Did y ou meet the family before?

No, and that was one of my mistakes, not insisting he tell them early and introduce me when i was there, all of which i wanted.

[mybackpages 0]

It is permissable for a muslim to marry a christian, but i think your research has the answer why the parents are saying no.

My heart goes out to you. I now not all families are the same and not all men have the same relationship with their families, but I would worry about going forward in a marriage with a Moroccan man whose family did not approve.

Did y ou meet the family before?

No, and that was one of my mistakes, not insisting he tell them early and introduce me when i was there, all of which i wanted.

Moroccan men all seem to have their own timetable when it comes to explaining things to the parents. so I wouldnt be too concerned that he was hesitant esp since he probably knew his parents would react as they did....

BUT marriage in Morocco is really a family matter, even when it is not arranged. Your situation would corcern me if i were in yor shoes.

[True Love at Last 15]

My fiancee finally told his mom a little about us, after 1.5 years being together. She asked first if I was a Muslim. Now for the third time he is saying he is not coming to USA because he cannot marry a Christian, etc. all the while telling me how much he loves me which is all so crazy to me, and I am definitely close to giving up. My research says it is okay, but wondered your opinions. I think he is overly influenced by his parents, not the facts. Here is some of what I found.

Yes, you can marry without changing your religion, because the holy Qur'an expressly and specifically permits the marriage of a Muslim man to a woman of the Ahl-e-Kitab (people of the Scriptures). The Ahl-e-Kitab is interpreted to mean people of the Jewish or Christian faith. After marriage, it is binding upon the Muslim husband to permit his Christian or Jewish wife to practise her own religion without any hindrance from him whatsoever. On the other hand, the holy Qur'an expressly forbids a Muslim woman from marriage to a non-Muslim man (even if he belongs to the people of Scriptures -- e.g. Christians or Jews).

Generally speaking, the son's parents often prefer to have a Muslim daughter-in-law, mainly for cultural and social considerations -- but not because of religious requirements. This is similar to the practise of parents encouraging their children to marry people with similar racial, linquistic, and social status (such as wealth, nobility, profession, beauty, skin colour and so on). What really matters however, is the good moral character and compatibility of the couple.

Two adults who are able to make their own decisions may do so freely when it comes to choosing a marriage partner, and if they can, they might also try to accommodate the parent's wishes if possible. If it is not possible, then that is too bad. Marriage in Islam is a civil contract made between two consenting parties out of their own free will.

The answer is simply YES. A Muslim man is allowed to marry Muslim, Christian or Jewish women. I think that he is getting pressure from his family.He should have thought about that before he started this relationship with you. Just a word of caution, Islam does NOT agree with people being forced or pressured to become muslim .You should not ever be forced or pressured to do so. It has to be from your heart that you believe and surrender to Islam. It has to be a chioce. I truly hope that things work out for the best, whether that be with him or not. Take care of yourself. (Salam)

[The_dip_sticks 0]

My fiancee finally told his mom a little about us, after 1.5 years being together. She asked first if I was a Muslim. Now for the third time he is saying he is not coming to USA because he cannot marry a Christian, etc. all the while telling me how much he loves me which is all so crazy to me, and I am definitely close to giving up. My research says it is okay, but wondered your opinions. I think he is overly influenced by his parents, not the facts. Here is some of what I found.

Yes, you can marry without changing your religion, because the holy Qur'an expressly and specifically permits the marriage of a Muslim man to a woman of the Ahl-e-Kitab (people of the Scriptures). The Ahl-e-Kitab is interpreted to mean people of the Jewish or Christian faith. After marriage, it is binding upon the Muslim husband to permit his Christian or Jewish wife to practise her own religion without any hindrance from him whatsoever. On the other hand, the holy Qur'an expressly forbids a Muslim woman from marriage to a non-Muslim man (even if he belongs to the people of Scriptures -- e.g. Christians or Jews).

Generally speaking, the son's parents often prefer to have a Muslim daughter-in-law, mainly for cultural and social considerations -- but not because of religious requirements. This is similar to the practise of parents encouraging their children to marry people with similar racial, linquistic, and social status (such as wealth, nobility, profession, beauty, skin colour and so on). What really matters however, is the good moral character and compatibility of the couple.

Two adults who are able to make their own decisions may do so freely when it comes to choosing a marriage partner, and if they can, they might also try to accommodate the parent's wishes if possible. If it is not possible, then that is too bad. Marriage in Islam is a civil contract made between two consenting parties out of their own free will.

Yes and no... The Quran teaches that muslims can marry any faith so as long as they adhere to one God without partners. So christians who worship Jesus for example would not fit that category as in Islam its considered idol worship. The testement of faith in Islam is lailaha illalah (there is no other God except God alone) or one of the ten commandments "you shall have no other God before me"

The Quran recognises not all christians worship Jesus but there are many that do or some even also worship mary. So in a nut shell muslims can marry anyone that is an absolute monotheist with no partners in anyway not mattering what faith.

[polarbear 0]

Yes and no... The Quran teaches that muslims can marry any faith so as long as they adhere to one God without partners. So christians who worship Jesus for example would not fit that category as in Islam its considered idol worship. The testement of faith in Islam is lailaha illalah (there is no other God except God alone) or one of the ten commandments "you shall have no other God before me"

The Quran recognises not all christians worship Jesus but there are many that do or some even also worship mary. So in a nut shell muslims can marry anyone that is an absolute monotheist with no partners in anyway not mattering what faith.

One of the first questions my fiance asked me when we first started dating was if I was christian, I said yes and asked if it was a problem. He said no, as long as I believe in one God, which I assured him I did. He then asked if I had a problem with him being muslim or eating halal (which he had to explain to me).

He also asked me if I smoked, had tatoos, drank alot, or ate pork. All that on a first date

He was very upfront with me, but continued to hide me from his family for about 1 yr. Even after that he never told his parents... after the reaction of his brothers, he didn't tell anyone else until we were engaged. Now the entire family knows (with the exception of his mother, I think the entire village knows) and are helping him with his english and all the paperwork to turn in before the interview.

Somehow he is still scared to tell his mother and is determined to say nothing until he has arrived in the US and it's permanant, nothing she can do about it. He seems to believe that she will accept me then because she has no choice.... it makes me a little nervous, but the rest of the family is great and very supportive.

But back to the christian thing... it's not really a problem anymore since I am converting (my own choice and he doesn't want to influence me).... the main problem is going to be the mother angry that he refused all the girls she picked out for him and dissapointed she wasn't able to hold him in Egypt by getting him hitched to an Egyptian. IMO the mother is probably the real reason.

[The_dip_sticks 0]

Yes and no... The Quran teaches that muslims can marry any faith so as long as they adhere to one God without partners. So christians who worship Jesus for example would not fit that category as in Islam its considered idol worship. The testement of faith in Islam is lailaha illalah (there is no other God except God alone) or one of the ten commandments "you shall have no other God before me"

The Quran recognises not all christians worship Jesus but there are many that do or some even also worship mary. So in a nut shell muslims can marry anyone that is an absolute monotheist with no partners in anyway not mattering what faith.

One of the first questions my fiance asked me when we first started dating was if I was christian, I said yes and asked if it was a problem. He said no, as long as I believe in one God, which I assured him I did. He then asked if I had a problem with him being muslim or eating halal (which he had to explain to me).

He also asked me if I smoked, had tatoos, drank alot, or ate pork. All that on a first date

He was very upfront with me, but continued to hide me from his family for about 1 yr. Even after that he never told his parents... after the reaction of his brothers, he didn't tell anyone else until we were engaged. Now the entire family knows (with the exception of his mother, I think the entire village knows) and are helping him with his english and all the paperwork to turn in before the interview.

Somehow he is still scared to tell his mother and is determined to say nothing until he has arrived in the US and it's permanant, nothing she can do about it. He seems to believe that she will accept me then because she has no choice.... it makes me a little nervous, but the rest of the family is great and very supportive.

But back to the christian thing... it's not really a problem anymore since I am converting (my own choice and he doesn't want to influence me).... the main problem is going to be the mother angry that he refused all the girls she picked out for him and dissapointed she wasn't able to hold him in Egypt by getting him hitched to an Egyptian. IMO the mother is probably the real reason.

The mother is the reason has nothing to do with islam... its a cultural thing. Most eastern countries consider marriages not just being the man and woman but that both families become as one family. So its cultural and also the mother probably wants someone that can understand her and her culture language ideas etc. Its more of a fear factor on the mothers part of not understanding outside her own. If you can understand this and where she is coming from and she see's that her son loves you, she will come round. But i can understand her son not telling her as she will do all thats in her power to persuade him otherwise because of the reasons I stated. Hope it helps.

Adiel (Mireyas hubby)

[almaty 19]

allot is cultural..that is, as example: Chechens are too marry Chechens period...so, this may be more of the cultural of the region and less Islam

Edited September 22, 2007 by almaty

[polarbear 0]

The mother is the reason has nothing to do with islam... its a cultural thing. Most eastern countries consider marriages not just being the man and woman but that both families become as one family. So its cultural and also the mother probably wants someone that can understand her and her culture language ideas etc. Its more of a fear factor on the mothers part of not understanding outside her own. If you can understand this and where she is coming from and she see's that her son loves you, she will come round. But i can understand her son not telling her as she will do all thats in her power to persuade him otherwise because of the reasons I stated. Hope it helps.

Adiel (Mireyas hubby)

Yeah, thanks, that helps inshalla all will be well.

[doodlebug 3]

Maybe the mother is afraid that the children will not be brought up as Muslims? Have you discussed children with him and how they will be raised? That's the only thing I can think of that would be a problem since it's definitely allowed.

I don't get the part though where it's ok only if a Christian does not worship Jesus. Catholics are Christians and because they believe in the Trinity, when they worship God they are worshiping the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit............the Son being Jesus. Granted they say God in three persons but still the fact is that a Catholic will be technically worshipping Jesus if they worship God. If they are not and truly believe that they are not then they don't believe in the Trinity which is a HUGE requirement of their faith. Just thought I'd mention that.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Yes and no... The Quran teaches that muslims can marry any faith so as long as they adhere to one God without partners. So christians who worship Jesus for example would not fit that category as in Islam its considered idol worship. The testement of faith in Islam is lailaha illalah (there is no other God except God alone) or one of the ten commandments "you shall have no other God before me"

The Quran recognises not all christians worship Jesus but there are many that do or some even also worship mary. So in a nut shell muslims can marry anyone that is an absolute monotheist with no partners in anyway not mattering what faith.

The answer is YES. People interpret the Quran in ways that benefit what they choose to believe. I'm sure if you ask a christian laying flowers at the feet of a statue of mary if they worship her, they will say they do not. His mother probably would say that they are. Northern African countries interpret the Quran in ways that often clearly separate themselves from western culture. Which for me loses the spirit of the word of God. But I know that's not the point of this discussion. Like I said, the answer is yes, your fiance can marry a christian without breaking his faith.

This issue is cultural not religious. And if this is how he deals with cultural issues in your relationship he's in for a rude awakening because when he gets to the US they will increase not decrease and if you have children they get even worse. He's really gonna have to work with you and come up with a better way to deal with your differences so that you can lead a more peaceful life.

[caybee 21]

Respect of the family and respect of the mother is a very strong factor here. Mothers are revered in this culture. My husband told me that whatever a person's parents have done or not done, to disrespect one's parents is a grave sin. He believes it is on par with murder. So even though the prohibition against marrying a Christian may be more cultural, this issue is still at the religious level because it involves respect of the family, especially the mother. In my opinion, you need your fiance's mother's blessing or your fiance will have a conflict inside him which will have to be resolved sooner or later, and the older he gets, the more conflicted he will feel. That said, you may win her over with hard work. If your fiance is willing to work with you, put your energy into getting to know his mother, into trying to communicate with her. Write letters to her if you can. Your fiance will need to translate, and he will have to be 100% onboard to facilitate this for it to work, but it may. She needs to know that you respect her and her beliefs and traditions, and that you will be good to her son.

I know that idea can ruffle feathers (including my own). Here, it's often more accepted, culturally, for someone to ask their fiance(e) to choose between their mother and them, or at least to put the marriage first and expect the inlaws to adjust. And the marriage does need to come first, but there, it's often more complicated since, as someone said, it's not a marriage between two individuals but instead between two families. It's a gut-level issue, so you can't change it. But if you are both willing to put the energy into this, you may be able to work "within the system" to get what you both want (without compromising your own deeply-held beliefs -- that is very important).

All just MHO. Best wishes.