MY WIFE HAS MENTAL DISORDER

[charlie_brown 0]

I find it strange that you obviously did not know your wife or how severe her condition was before you came to live here. You've known her since 2004 and yet you didn't know how bad her illness was? Good luck to you.

[zakura02 0]

Hello Everyone,

Oh thank God i found this website i have been reading through many threads i see different people post their problem here so i thought i could post mine here too.

I got here on a K3 visa it just about a week since i got here when i met my wife(USC) about 2004 we married she told me she has some kind of depression in her, what i use to know is that depression is you cry whenever you are not happy or something of that nature.

For the past few days i have been here i came to find out that she has some kind of mental disorder and she is taking medication for it not only that she has so many secret around her about her health just this morning i came just i came to find out that she has a stomach virus she say i never heard stomach virus in entire whole life and sometimes she just starts crying for no reason when i ask her what is making her cry she will say she don't know plus sometimes she tells me that she hear voices, i asked what kind of voices do you hear she will always say she don't....As the day goes by i keep discovering one thing or the othe about her, please help me i so scared that i might get infected with one of her health problems(Diseases)..

Like i said i just got here going to a week now, I dont have EAD nor have a filed for AOS i only have my K3 visa and the I-94 in passport i really dont know what do to i am from Nigeria i so so scared that my health is in danger .....PLEASE GUYS HELP ME OUT WHAT SHOULD I DO. I am actually thinking of running away from here i have a friend in florida whom i can stay with but the point is if i run away from here how do i file for EAD and AOS is it possible to do that without my wife??

Please VJers help me before i kill myself.

Regards,

Robert

First off all let me guide you what depression is.. it is not a state of mind, like hypertension, diabetis, or simple flu, it is caused by pysical or chemical changes in the body, in depression's case it the imbalance of some chemical in the brain, so IT IS NOT your wife's fault that she is depressed! We are in US when medical care is available so treatment is not impossible, i know a lot of people who has the condition but still manages to go on with their family life, and family's support and understanding plays the key role in the treatment process, so running away to your friend will not change a thing, it will make her more depressed!

[terrie/kamal 0]

robert,

i am a woman who suffers from bi-polar and severe depression. I have been under the care of a doctor for years and am being treated for it. Depression is not a communicale disease, its a mental illness and can be treated, not cured. You need to get your wife to a good doctor that will help her, and possibly a therapist and you need to understand the person she is. She may need a med change, and i've had to have my meds adjusted several times in the last 10 years. You also need to understand the illness and stand behind her and give her all the support and love you can offer her. I've dealt with this for over 10 years by my self. I've put my son thru hell and now that i'm on the right track, i've found a very loving and supportive man whom will be here in 23 days. I can't express to you enough about getting support for yourself and u giving her your support. I hope things work out for u and her, but don't run away from it. That will just make it worse. There are many support groups out there for familys that have a spouse with mental illness. check out the Alliance for the Mentally Ill. There should be on in your area or close by. They can give u advice on how to handle this. Good luck!

[JenT 0]

If this is for real then my advice to the OP would be to take her to her doctor. Go in with her and listen to what the doctor has to say about what she's going through and what the treatment options are. That may help you be more supportive.

[Ta Ta 1]

There seems to be a deep cultural issue involved. In Africa people with mental illness and other illness often will be shunned out of fear

for contracting the disease or condition. It is not uncommon to shun people and run them off or leave them.

These deep rooted attitudes sometimes come into play here and the OP reacts with fear for his own survival.

Robert,

You will not be harmed by this condition, no evil will come to you by these conditions of your wife. Familiarize yourself with these mental disorders,

ask her for her medical diagnosis and google it to know what you are dealing with. Talk to her doctor or nurse. Knowledge and understanding will

help overcome these fears.

Aside from the adjustment which is difficult enough without health problems, dealing with these issues is very challenging for an African man with deep cultural upbringing. Let us cut him some slack here.

You are here now, with your wife. Support her. But get help from a professional to learn how to cope with this. Try contacting the Nigerian Association in your area for support in adjusting here.

Spouses of people with mental health issues need support as well to learn how to cope. I can't imagine coming from this different culture and having to adjust and deal with this all by myself.

Best wishes.

[ramos96 1]

I am agree, Robert, you need to get some professional help, there should be a phone number in the phone book for your area in regards to a mental health line. If she looks like she going to hurt herself or you, please call the POLICE they will help you or her.

You need to be a man and stand by her. This is when she needs you the most.

Humbly,

Ramos

[vsmtghdy 2]

Robert,

First of all since you said your wife is taking some medicines then that means she's been to a Doctor/Psychiatrist. It will be better if you would go with her and talk to her Doctor so you will know and understand your wife's mental condition. Depression is being treated left and right here in the US and there's nothing really wrong about it. Like what others said, it is not contagious. Mental disorders are not contagious. By learning and understanding your wife's condition, you can better help her and your anxiousness will be answered.

But medically speaking, I don't think your wife have a simple case of Depression (Chronic Depression) but more of a Schizophrenia. I came up with this deductions (Clinical Impression) with what you say about her and what she feels, do, thinks, and hear. But I could be wrong, since I can't see her or talk to her to make a diagnosis.

But with her condition, leaving her will not be a good idea if you really love her and wants to help her. Leaving her may make things worst. You need to be beside her and help her get through with this mental disorder that she have. Understand and learn the disease condition, talk to her doctor, if after doing so and taking time understanding and you still feel that your life will be in danger, then do what you think you should do. The desicion will always be yours to make.

Good Luck and God Bless.

[mawilson 2,133]

Joined yesterday and is "from Nigeria"?

Nigeria?! Nigeria! Come on, people! Nigeria is the international code for 'Help! I'm a 419 scammer or troll'.

[Jenn! 918]

Joined yesterday and is "from Nigeria"?

Nigeria?! Nigeria! Come on, people! Nigeria is the international code for 'Help! I'm a 419 scammer or troll'.

It really bothers me to see people waste their time by typing out serious advice.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

If this is for real then my advice to the OP would be to take her to her doctor. Go in with her and listen to what the doctor has to say about what she's going through and what the treatment options are. That may help you be more supportive.

I echo this sentiment entirely. Instead of letting the unknown send you off on flights of fancy and fears of imagination, get an appointment with her doctor; go with her; ask the doctor questions; find out what treatment she is on and what you might expect. Find out what side effects her medication has. Once you know and understand the facts of the situation you will be in a better place to decide if you will stay and support her or if you don't want to deal with this and end the relationship. Good luck.

[Mags 112]

I'm going to lock this thread for the time being. If the OP feels that he hasn't had his questions answered then I request that he PM me and I will reconsider.

For now though I don't feel that this thread can serve any purpose in remaining open. Thanks, everyone.