Attending the interview with your fiancee

[Satellite 1]

I think Sat just doesn't like Russia that much

Being a political asylee from the former USSR, there is little to like. My family on both sides lost so much property during the first and second world war. Then likewise my parents were discriminated against and denied many work and housing perks / advancements because of their beliefs and lack of association with the communist party. Grandparents were sent from their factories and mansions to Siberia. Then I came as an adult to see just how much truth there was to these stories. A lot of it wasn't as bad as the family described it, but many things on the fraud and corruption front could use some fixing. Bribes and the necessity of a "крыша" comes to mind. Customer service is another issue. Maybe it's just that I have been spoiled here. My favorite is: "вы куда прёте?"

[Turboguy 6]

I might be wrong on this, but there seems to be a direct correlation between how many international marriage broker websites a country is associated with and how much fraud there is.

I for one don't understand the mentality of people who post their profiles on a marriage brokerage site. I mean, come on, if a woman (or a man) explicitly states that she/he wants to marry a foreigner, isn't it obvious that this has nothing (or very little) to do with looking for love? (gee, hope I didn't start anything bad on here...)

I'd say there's a lot less fraud in Russia now than 10 years ago though. I think Sat just doesn't like Russia that much

Is there that much difference between someone putting thier profile on "A Pretty Woman" or "Bride.ru" and an American putting theirs on Match.com or joining eHarmony. Why is looking for love any different if you are have had trouble finding a person who lives close to you and are open to a good person from anywhere. Yes, some want out of Russia but there are women with lising all over South America, asia and other countries as well and spending much time at VJ you see romances from Canada and all over Europe as well. The first foreign romance catalog I ever saw in my life which was before many of you were born was mostly with people (mostly women) from Germany, England and other western European Countries.

I can agree with Satelite (who could disagree with such an amazing background and experiences anyway) There are reasons to want to get out of Russia but life there is not as bad as it was and can be very good for some. I think the days of desperate women are in the past.

[dkrivosheyev 0]

I think Sat just doesn't like Russia that much

Being a political asylee from the former USSR, there is little to like. My family on both sides lost so much property during the first and second world war. Then likewise my parents were discriminated against and denied many work and housing perks / advancements because of their beliefs and lack of association with the communist party. Grandparents were sent from their factories and mansions to Siberia. Then I came as an adult to see just how much truth there was to these stories. A lot of it wasn't as bad as the family described it, but many things on the fraud and corruption front could use some fixing. Bribes and the necessity of a "крыша" comes to mind. Customer service is another issue. Maybe it's just that I have been spoiled here. My favorite is: "вы куда прёте?"

I can certanly understand your opinion about Russia and the corruption going on there, especially since your family had to go through all this. I am originally from Russia myself, but I was not around during that time, so I cannot speak about it. However, nowdays I think it's a lot better there. In fact, I have many of my high school friends in Russia who are making a lot more money than I do here in the U.S.! In the past many Russian girls wanted to come to the U.S. for a better life because of Russian poverty, bad economics, crime, etc. But nowdays I don't think it is bad anymore. You can make good money there if you smart and work hard, jusl like here in the U.S. So now I believe Russian ladies come to the U.S. to be with their loved ones, that is the main reason.

[Satellite 1]

But now days I don't think it is bad anymore. You can make good money there if you smart and work hard, just like here in the U.S. So now I believe Russian ladies come to the U.S. to be with their loved ones, that is the main reason.

My parents have friends that are still there. One is a clothing store owner who has to hire a "roof" to avoid problems. Another is a networking specialist making about $1000 a month doing pretty good. Still lives in a small three bedroom flat and drives a Russian car. But at least doesn't have to go to the villages to grow his own potatoes and tomatoes. Goes on vacation once a year. Another friend was making great money in an investment business. He was shot dead in his apartment drive way for not wanting to pay a group of thugs. Another set of friends are general laborers who own their own home but make just several hundred dollars a month. Grow most of their food and haven't been on vacation in 20 years.

But to comment on what you and Turboguy are saying about the women. Why aren't the men getting good jobs? Why aren't they working hard? If things are so great, why don't they stay there and live there? Russian men are great people too. At least the ones I know who work and are successful. And of course back to my old argument, why is the birth rate falling so drastically. Why are married women in Russia not having kids? And almost all of my wife's friends still live with their parents. Affording their own place is out of the question.

We all have our stories and experiences and can draw conclusions either way.

[Turboguy 6]

I think you brought up a good point about the cost of housing in Russia. Yes, salaries have increased dramatically but so have expenses and particulalry the costs of apartments. It is nice to be making a thousand or so a month there but when a nice apartment can go for a million what good does it do you if you need a place to live?

[dkrivosheyev 0]

I think you brought up a good point about the cost of housing in Russia. Yes, salaries have increased dramatically but so have expenses and particulalry the costs of apartments. It is nice to be making a thousand or so a month there but when a nice apartment can go for a million what good does it do you if you need a place to live?

I agree, the housing cost in Russia is unbelievable, especially in the larger cities. In fact, it is probably more than many U.S. cities. However, you can take a mortgage there too, and do it the same way people do in the U.S.

[Turboguy 6]

I agree but if an apartment is a million and the mortgage interest rate is around the 20% that I believe it is how do you make the payments on a salary of $ 1000 a month. Off the top of my head the mortgage payments would be about $ 5000 a month.

[mendeleev 68]

Turbo,

That's if you can get a mortgage.

My acquaintences in Novosibirsk who have been able to get new apartments in the past couple years have had to pay for everything up front. Hundreds of thousands of dollars cash, up front. Credit markets remain very poorly developed, although this is changing. (I was surprised this time to be able to use my credit card in every restrautant I visited in Russia. As recently as a year ago, this was impossible for me outside of Moscow.)

How people come up with this kind of money is a mystery to me, given salaries. I suspect that my acquaintences get the vast majority of their money from shall we call it "informal" sources. I know that my family does not have this benefit and flats will pass from one to another essentially by inheritance.

[Turboguy 6]

Turbo,

That's if you can get a mortgage.

That is what I think too. I believe the dishonest people can afford nice housing but for the average working Russian he can not and the only thing that helps is when they have inherited an apartment.

[AUBGER 0]

Well, the information for the Romanian embassy says that you can do it in Bucharest. I'm going to have Mikey with me. His mom will hopefully be allowed into the embassy too...

I guess it varies from country to country

[Nancy2015 2]

I think Sat just doesn't like Russia that much

Being a political asylee from the former USSR, there is little to like. My family on both sides lost so much property during the first and second world war. Then likewise my parents were discriminated against and denied many work and housing perks / advancements because of their beliefs and lack of association with the communist party. Grandparents were sent from their factories and mansions to Siberia. Then I came as an adult to see just how much truth there was to these stories. A lot of it wasn't as bad as the family described it, but many things on the fraud and corruption front could use some fixing. Bribes and the necessity of a "крыша" comes to mind. Customer service is another issue. Maybe it's just that I have been spoiled here. My favorite is: "вы куда прёте?"

I can certanly understand your opinion about Russia and the corruption going on there, especially since your family had to go through all this. I am originally from Russia myself, but I was not around during that time, so I cannot speak about it. However, nowdays I think it's a lot better there. In fact, I have many of my high school friends in Russia who are making a lot more money than I do here in the U.S.! In the past many Russian girls wanted to come to the U.S. for a better life because of Russian poverty, bad economics, crime, etc. But nowdays I don't think it is bad anymore. You can make good money there if you smart and work hard, jusl like here in the U.S. So now I believe Russian ladies come to the U.S. to be with their loved ones, that is the main reason.

ALL my high school and college friends make more money there than I do here. All of them. Actually, one of my dad's friends asked me a couple weeks ago if I could work as a project coordinator at his company in Moscow. The job pays 60K/year. It will be years before I make that kind of money here.

[Satellite 1]

ALL my high school and college friends make more money there than I do here. All of them. Actually, one of my dad's friends asked me a couple weeks ago if I could work as a project coordinator at his company in Moscow. The job pays 60K/year. It will be years before I make that kind of money here.

All of my wife's high school and college friends make between 0 to 8000 rubles per month. Most in the lower end of that. None of them live in Moscow. None of them own their own flats or qualify for a mortgage. Just a few own an old Russian car. None of their parents are big executives who are able to "hook them up" with nice high paying jobs. None of their parents were able to afford to send their kids to study abroad. Most of them have or will have the equivalent of masters degrees from prestigious Siberian universities. A few are married. One or two has kids. The ones who are married either live in a room shared with their parents or rent a flat for the price of one spouse's monthly salary.

And my favorite: As far as we are aware, none of them have posted themselves on an online catalog to sell to an American man. Hint: they are not desperate yet.

Your case is unique for two reasons: (1) Moscow, (2) Usually people who come from affluent backgrounds stick with people from those backgrounds.

[dkrivosheyev 0]

ALL my high school and college friends make more money there than I do here. All of them. Actually, one of my dad's friends asked me a couple weeks ago if I could work as a project coordinator at his company in Moscow. The job pays 60K/year. It will be years before I make that kind of money here.

All of my wife's high school and college friends make between 0 to 8000 rubles per month. Most in the lower end of that. None of them live in Moscow. None of them own their own flats or qualify for a mortgage. Just a few own an old Russian car. None of their parents are big executives who are able to "hook them up" with nice high paying jobs. None of their parents were able to afford to send their kids to study abroad. Most of them have or will have the equivalent of masters degrees from prestigious Siberian universities. A few are married. One or two has kids. The ones who are married either live in a room shared with their parents or rent a flat for the price of one spouse's monthly salary.

And my favorite: As far as we are aware, none of them have posted themselves on an online catalog to sell to an American man. Hint: they are not desperate yet.

Your case is unique for two reasons: (1) Moscow, (2) Usually people who come from affluent backgrounds stick with people from those backgrounds.

I guess everyone's experience is different. None of my high school and college friends live in Moscow, however some of them make close to $50K in Yekaterinburg, have their own businesses or work for oil or international companies. I also know people making less that 10000 rubles per month still lving with their parents. There is plenty of opportunity in Russia nowdays, however it helps if you have connections to "hook you up" with a high paying jobs. There is a great difference between rich and poor in Russia. But the same difference exists here in the U.S., it' just the fact that the U.S. "middle class" is a lot bigger than Russian middle class at this time.

[Nancy2015 2]

Your case is unique for two reasons: (1) Moscow, (2) Usually people who come from affluent backgrounds stick with people from those backgrounds.

You know, we all have different experiences, and my case is far from unique. I have friends from all walks of life - most of them are not from any kind of "affluent" backgrounds, yet they are not half as unfortunate as people that you've described.

I'm sorry your family had such a bad experience, and I'm also sorry all the bad experiences made you so bitter.

BTW, I think Dkrivosheyev is right on.

[slim 1,530]

My belief is it's done to keep things under their control and one on one. Probably a long time ago, they did allow it and some overly anxious man starting coaching his fiancée wih answers and they didn't want that. They want to hear your fiancée's replies without you being able to clue her.

If that were true, the guys in Manila wouldn't be allowed to go in either. I think it has more to do with local procedure and embassy security than anything else. (And the fact that the embassy in Moscow isn't a "fiancee factory" as the primary mission. There are several hundred other things higher up the importance list than fiancee/family visa approvals and interviews inside the Moscow embassy. Sure, there are a lot of fiancees that process through the embassy, but it's more of a side mission than a primary mission. It is big business, but military and industrial espionage come first, not to mention brokering trade agreements/embargoes, etc. We're currently not worried about the Filipinos so much and thus the "sponsors" can accompany their "beneficiaries" inside during the interviews there.)

My favorite is: "вы куда прёте?"

Russians are a "glass half full" type crowd, right?

I think the days of desperate women are in the past.

Desperation may be out, but there'll never be a time in history when certain women will be unwilling to compromise their personal happiness in order to achieve a more comfortable and luxurious lifestyle through marriage. When the standard of living in a given country is elevated, the need to "go global" is lowered, however, it will still always be an option for the "average" women of that country (those not "fortunate" enough to be able to marry into a more comfortable lifestyle.)

So now I believe Russian ladies come to the U.S. to be with their loved ones, that is the main reason.

It very well could be the "main reason" now, and as the standard of living increases in Russia, the level of "brokerage" marriages will decrease. However, as stated above, the "average" woman will always have this as an option.