Cry for help

[BillyB 0]

Interesting you're bringing up all these issues just after your 2 year anniversary. Did you know most people who marry for a green card choose the 2 year mark to divorce their spouse(visa mule) to the United States?

Trinity, most people will be quick to tell you to break up your marriage. I won't. Try to make your marriage work and of course you need cooperation from your husband. Try talking to a counselor or church pastor. There are plenty of people who will help you make your marriage work with little or no money.

I know you mentioned earlier that your husband once said that you're on your own if you don't mind your own business. Why did you not want to leave then but chose the 2 year anniversary to make your move? Is this really about abuse or a green card that is dear to you?

[trinity06 1]

Interesting you're bringing up all these issues just after your 2 year anniversary. Did you know most people who marry for a green card choose the 2 year mark to divorce their spouse(visa mule) to the United States?

Trinity, most people will be quick to tell you to break up your marriage. I won't. Try to make your marriage work and of course you need cooperation from your husband. Try talking to a counselor or church pastor. There are plenty of people who will help you make your marriage work with little or no money.

I know you mentioned earlier that your husband once said that you're on your own if you don't mind your own business. Why did you not want to leave then but chose the 2 year anniversary to make your move? Is this really about abuse or a green card that is dear to you?

I will like to say thank you to all you who gave me advice, i am so happy that i am a member of this site. I believe in making my marriage work, and i did not married for greencard. I have a daughter and i am expecting another one. I really do love my husband, before he broke my heart will all the stuff i found out and how he treated. But i love my daugher so much, that i am willing to stay. I do talk to my husband about all the issue and how he treated me, his family talked to him too. He said sorry which i accepted. But i gave him the last chance , if he treated me like that again, i am leaving, i wont stay one week.

Thank you all for the advice i really do appreciate it.

[KarenCee 3]

Interesting you're bringing up all these issues just after your 2 year anniversary. Did you know most people who marry for a green card choose the 2 year mark to divorce their spouse(visa mule) to the United States?

Trinity, most people will be quick to tell you to break up your marriage. I won't. Try to make your marriage work and of course you need cooperation from your husband. Try talking to a counselor or church pastor. There are plenty of people who will help you make your marriage work with little or no money.

I know you mentioned earlier that your husband once said that you're on your own if you don't mind your own business. Why did you not want to leave then but chose the 2 year anniversary to make your move? Is this really about abuse or a green card that is dear to you?

Hmmm....and you really don't think this is coincidence? What if this were you and you were at YOUR two year anniversary mark. I experienced mental abuse at the hands of my ex husband as well...we did the counseling thing. It will work IF both parties are willing. Mine wasn't. Doesn't sound as if her husband wants to cooperate either. With that said, what advice would you give now? I seriously doubt this is a case of green card lust. Geez.

Trinity, I sincerely hope things work out for you whatever you decide. No one deserves to be treated as you've described...been there with the mental abuse. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your daughter AND your unborn child. They will need you more than ever now.

Edited September 22, 2007 by KarenCee

[Nancy2015 2]

Interesting you're bringing up all these issues just after your 2 year anniversary. Did you know most people who marry for a green card choose the 2 year mark to divorce their spouse(visa mule) to the United States?

Trinity, most people will be quick to tell you to break up your marriage. I won't. Try to make your marriage work and of course you need cooperation from your husband. Try talking to a counselor or church pastor. There are plenty of people who will help you make your marriage work with little or no money.

I know you mentioned earlier that your husband once said that you're on your own if you don't mind your own business. Why did you not want to leave then but chose the 2 year anniversary to make your move? Is this really about abuse or a green card that is dear to you?

You're kiddin', right?

[RandyandRina 2]

Interesting you're bringing up all these issues just after your 2 year anniversary. Did you know most people who marry for a green card choose the 2 year mark to divorce their spouse(visa mule) to the United States?

Trinity, most people will be quick to tell you to break up your marriage. I won't. Try to make your marriage work and of course you need cooperation from your husband. Try talking to a counselor or church pastor. There are plenty of people who will help you make your marriage work with little or no money.

I know you mentioned earlier that your husband once said that you're on your own if you don't mind your own business. Why did you not want to leave then but chose the 2 year anniversary to make your move? Is this really about abuse or a green card that is dear to you?

I'm gonna play dumb asking you this question..

Are you the PETITIONER or the BENEFICIARY?

Unfortunately, I am not dumb and definitely has a heart to be sensitive in giving someone an advise. If you were in trinity06 shoes', i'm pretty sure you will be reacting negatively reading your own post.

Edited September 25, 2007 by RandyandRina

[The_dip_sticks 0]

Im sorry that you are going through all of this. I hope that things work and that your husband is willign to make a true change to make your marrige work. Most importantly If things dont change you nor your 2 babies should ever have to tolerate aubse of any kind, I sincerly hope you find help it need be.

[RUKTHUR 0]

Im really sorry to hear about your situation ...

[JJWashington 0]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation

[Aussielad 37]

Interesting you're bringing up all these issues just after your 2 year anniversary. Did you know most people who marry for a green card choose the 2 year mark to divorce their spouse(visa mule) to the United States?

Trinity, most people will be quick to tell you to break up your marriage. I won't. Try to make your marriage work and of course you need cooperation from your husband. Try talking to a counselor or church pastor. There are plenty of people who will help you make your marriage work with little or no money.

I know you mentioned earlier that your husband once said that you're on your own if you don't mind your own business. Why did you not want to leave then but chose the 2 year anniversary to make your move? Is this really about abuse or a green card that is dear to you?

Careful in what you say, every situation is different, remember, you dont live under their roof in their situation, especially hers.

[Mags 112]

Interesting you're bringing up all these issues just after your 2 year anniversary. Did you know most people who marry for a green card choose the 2 year mark to divorce their spouse(visa mule) to the United States?

Trinity, most people will be quick to tell you to break up your marriage. I won't. Try to make your marriage work and of course you need cooperation from your husband. Try talking to a counselor or church pastor. There are plenty of people who will help you make your marriage work with little or no money.

I know you mentioned earlier that your husband once said that you're on your own if you don't mind your own business. Why did you not want to leave then but chose the 2 year anniversary to make your move? Is this really about abuse or a green card that is dear to you?

On the one hand you're telling the OP to stay in her marriage and try to make it work and then on the other hand you are suggesting that because she has left it this late to leave him she must only have a GC in her sights. Perhaps she was trying to make the marriage work herself before considering leaving, hence the time lag.

It can be incredibly hard to leave an abusive spouse/lover/boyfriend and it may have taken her this long to work up the courage to leave him at this point in time.

I think from now on we should keep any judgemental comments to ourselves and focus on giving the OP good advice on how to help her.

[desert_fox 32]

It can be incredibly hard to leave an abusive spouse/lover/boyfriend and it may have taken her this long to work up the courage to leave him at this point in time.

I think from now on we should keep any judgemental comments to ourselves and focus on giving the OP good advice on how to help her.

It could take as long as one hour at times.

I would have a hard time loving, or staying with someone who would abuse me.

[Mags 112]

It can be incredibly hard to leave an abusive spouse/lover/boyfriend and it may have taken her this long to work up the courage to leave him at this point in time.

I think from now on we should keep any judgemental comments to ourselves and focus on giving the OP good advice on how to help her.

It could take as long as one hour at times.

I would have a hard time loving, or staying with someone who would abuse me.

Well, every one is different. What one person would find easy to do, another might not.

[BillyB 0]

On the one hand you're telling the OP to stay in her marriage and try to make it work and then on the other hand you are suggesting that because she has left it this late to leave him she must only have a GC in her sights.

I hope you're not having comprehension problems. I gave trinity, the OP, my thoughts. One is for saving her marriage using all possible avenues if she's a sincere woman, and two, my opinion if she's an insincere woman. Unlike most of you, the OP handled my response like a lady and without getting angry. I now tend to believe she is sincere. She also admitted, after my comments on enlisting outside help, her husband's family talked to him and her husband apologized. That's a good start and her husband has shown signs he can listen and apologize when he's wrong.

I think from now on we should keep any judgemental comments to ourselves and focus on giving the OP good advice on how to help her.

Why should we all beat the same drum? Why should we give the OP reasons to end her marriage and try to save it. If her goal isn't to be in the marriage because of a green card, then she's an insincere person and then why should we support insincere people?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I understand visajourney is a place where most people are happy and are soon to be married or just recently married but we must wake up and understand reality and there are people out there that will want to take advantage of love and use you. There is a 50% divorce rate out there and if you or your soon to be spouse was previously divorced, there is a 70% chance you will be divorced again. That is why it's so important to get to know the person you're going to marry. Choose wisely.

I've participated on forums for 3 years, mostly at RussianWomenDiscussion.com , and I've seen happy times and sad times where people end up in abusive relationships or men are accused of false domestic violence before the two year marriage period is up for their spouse to get the green card. DV will get a spouse an automatic green card. Other than that 2 years is the magic number when immigrant spouses tend to leave the marriage.

There are gold diggers, pro daters, and green card girls/guys out there. It's important to know and understand the bad instead of entering in this endeavour blind and only understanding the good.

Some of you asked questions about me. I've been in a relationship with an woman from Uzbekistan for two years and we've never been in an arguement. Have the credit belongs to me. You can read my story here and see the pics of my beautiful fiancee and of course my ugly face but I don't care as long as she thinks I'm handsome. If you don't see the pics on each page of this thread, then I think you have to sign up to see them, it's free.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/Foru...hp?topic=1303.0

The site isn't as good as visajourney for immigration issues and I usually recommend people there to over here but it's a good site if you are dating a woman from the FSU, former Soviet Union. There are travel tips, and cultural discussions, and anti-scam tips and it's pretty much relation to the women of the FSU.

Edited September 25, 2007 by BillyB

[Nancy2015 2]

She also admitted, after my comments on enlisting outside help, her husband's family talked to him and her husband apologized. That's a good start and her husband has shown signs he can listen and apologize when he's wrong.

All abusers do that - they apologize, promise to change, and then the cycle of abuse starts all over again. This is a fact.

[KarenCee 3]

She also admitted, after my comments on enlisting outside help, her husband's family talked to him and her husband apologized. That's a good start and her husband has shown signs he can listen and apologize when he's wrong.

All abusers do that - they apologize, promise to change, and then the cycle of abuse starts all over again. This is a fact.

This is so true. I lived it. From my personal experience I would never encourage a man or a woman to stay in an abusive situation. EVER.